Jen's Tumblr

Jen, 38, loves Star Trek, Star Wars, Pokémon. Avatar by @star-trek-dumb-comics

[islamprotestan-blog]

only 5 seconds

[zanyflowerpizzatrash]

i wasn't ready for that..lol

[suffer-no-humiliation]

Immediately recognized that look

[jeremy-ken-anderson]

The subtitles do really good work at conveying tone and mood here, but it's worth having sound on just for the noise he makes when she gets out of it.

[kazieka]

was outside earlier and a bird Came Up, squatted down, fluttered it’s wings at me and opened its mouth like a hatchling begging for food (it was a grown female) so I went and checked the seed cube in the feeder and the thing was completely covered in mold. this is one of the weirdest things that’s ever happened to me. how did she know im the one in charge of the birdseed. How Did She Know To Pantomime Hunger At Me. Hello.

[kazieka]

i have spent my afternoon confusedly getting dressed, driving to the store, purchasing a new seed block, driving home, washing the cage, and getting the feeder set back up. i don’t take this much care for my Own nutrition. ive been bullied into a grocery store run by a tufted titmouse. i feel so loved

[tlirsgender]

Something about me is that due to Allergy Reasons I have had extremely little fast food in my life but a culvers location has opened near me and this particular one will let you ask for gluten free fries & I haven't stopped thinking about them. I need more. The texture is so much better than the baked fries I've been having at home. I need Oil. I feel like the united states military

[tlirsgender]

Being a celiac haver whose family went gluten free when I was a baby so I simply haven't Had a lot of Normal People Foods makes me feel like a space alien but it's so good when I Do get to have them. Just found out about fries. Like fried in oil fries. They come in a little paper cup and everything. I'm entering my fries era

[tlirsgender]

Vulcan in starfleet who starts trying Earth foods & gets really into various forms of fried potatoes. It's similar to some baked plomeek bullshit they ate at home but a little bit heavier which is nice for staying warm in the colder climate. Having a great time with a completely blank expression

[ingridverse]

And that Vulcan's name is Sēliak

[tlirsgender]

That's so fucking true. I love them. They can't digest the proteins in certain grains because they don't exist on their planet

[localpilfenjoyer]

Sēliak's human pal: oh lol your dietary restrictions are kinda similar to this medical condition in humans

Sēliak: what is this condition called

Human pal:

[judgejudyofficial]

stop letting miserable people on the internet convince you that you must have a concrete, well-constructed opinion on everything that has ever existed.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

[judgejudyofficial]

everybody say thank you Marcus Aurelius

[jewish-joy]

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

[noahwyles]

i, a rock collector, had to go to the ER yesterday because of a gallstone attack, here is how my father messaged me

thanks dad

[anremithrl]

That was the correct thing to say.

[voidartisan]

I think the Jedi council should have at least considered sending obi-wan over to Dooku to be like “yes hello I am here for sith training” just to see what would happen

[voidartisan]

Like, we know from the rako hardeen arc that he’s a good enough actor to pull this off. Combined with Dooku’s clear affection(?) for him, I think the council would have most of the separatists’ top military secrets in a month, max

[voidartisan]

I mean, even if Obi-Wan got caught transmitting information

Dooku:…what are you doing

Obi-Wan, panicking slightly: I’m a double agent. Passing them bad intel.

Dooku: I didn’t ask you to do that

Obi-Wan: …i’m taking initiative????

Dooku:

Dooku: We’ll it’s about time SOMEONE around here did

[voidartisan]

Palpatine: There have been far too many “coincidences” with the Jedi lately. The information your new apprentice is transmitting is accurate, I’m sure of it.

Dooku: My boy would never do such a thing

Palpatine: Your b— you know, the whole “no attachments” is a Jedi thing but I think we need to have a talk

[terapsina]

Let's just add another layer to this cuz I bet that LIKE the Raako Hardeen incident no one tells Anakin anything.

So we also have an unhinged (but in the OTHER direction) Anakin chasing Obi-Wan across the galaxy going: 'Come back to the light side, Master, you're my brother!'

So now Palpatine's dealing with the unexpected headache of his planned future apprentice being too busy trying to de-sithify the not-actually-a-sith!Obi-Wan to get sithified himself.

[wolverina2002]

Anakin suddenly throwing himself hard into being the perfect Jedi to guide his master back to the light is hilarious

[punkitt-is-here]

this duck LOVES pink drink

[punkryuki]

[sawdust-emperor]

Her just pouring the puree straight over the duck's head because she knows there's no getting that duck out of the cup is killing me

[skopostheorie]

Once I "made" a custom emoji for my mum by crudely drawing a hijab on it and now whenever she wants me to buy a coffee for her I get a text like this

[cnmcn]

absolutley enchanted by cobepee

[mentally-homeless]

[the-spoopy-ghost-of-raejin99]

Obligatory

[facts-i-just-made-up]

[animedads-deactivated20210108]

[gilkenansmonsterhouse2006-deact]

i have not seen this meme in so long im loving it

[adulthoodisokay]

one of the reasons i love tumblr is that occasionally classic memes like this show up on my dashboard

[catgirlforeskin]

It’s like reaching into the cupboard for food and accidentally finding a 19 year old can of soup that you’ve kept for sentimental reasons

[cuprohastes]

About ten, fifteen years ago I wrote a story about a guy living in a Capitalist dystopia. His walls, furniture, and tableware are all covered in smart displays. Basically animated wallpaper. It's sold as being able to turn your room or objects into anything - A nice forest view, outer space, a fantasy realm... but the companies that run this stuff keep sneaking ads in.

It gets so bad he's always being woken up by adverts that offer insomnia cures and better bedding that play when he tries to sleep.

So he buys the ad-free tier, and it's great... for a few months. And then he starts getting adverts from 'premium partners'. So he goes up a level... and the same thing happens.

So he jailbreaks his wallpaper and sends all the ad servers to 0.0.0.0 and voila... he can sleep.

Until this SWAT team blows his door off and drag him off to jail. The Ad companies are suing him for loss of revenue for the products he' notionally have bought if he'd watched their adverts, based on some weird 'The average consumer buys X products with an average value of Y' calculation.

The judge is like 'well I dun wanna annoy the sponsors' so he RICO's this guy's house and possessions and sends him to jail.

... which is a nice relaxed non-volent offender jail for the corporately disenfranchised. But because these people have no money... there's no ads and now he's happy because the only place he's free... is in prison.

Which at the time was a bit much and now it's like: Called it.

Elon's suing companies for not advertising because he's losing revenue. He's also cranking the price of Ad Free Twitter. Disney and Amazon play adverts on their paid service when services used to be free because of the adverts... and now you have to pay to watch the adverts or go up a couple of tiers.

And google's going around freaking out about ad-blockers.

[alexaloraetheris]

OP did it hurt when Apollo's dodgeball hit you and made you write that story?

[guerrillatech]

[kendrysaneela]

This is why I love the “Covid is faked” conspiracies. Like really?? You think the WHOLE WORLD is working together THAT EFFICIENTLY?? Even the countries that hate each other? Wow cheers for the optimism

[geijutsu1]

Look up the manhattan project you dipshits

[sashibunbun]

You mean the project where the only reason there was any secrecy was that none of the people had any part of the wide reaching project (Oppenheimer, Einstein, and all the others were pretty much kept way away from eachother) and was almost brought down as a secret in the group by one of the guys being an amateur safe cracker? That Manhattan Project?

The one where everybody near Los Alamos knew that something big was happening, because they were actively hiring during the War?

The one that had so many close calls to they’re working on some kind of bomb that by the time the war was over you had people involved blabbing, to the point the Rosenbergs happened?

THAT Manhattan Project?

[dixkens]

The Manhattan project, the one that the editor of a science fiction magazine (I think it was Astounding) figured out was happening because all the physicists who subscribed suddenly changed their addresses to Los Alamos?

That Manhattan project?

[anarchopuppy]

We’re talking about the Manhattan project that Kodak had clearance to know about (and even got advanced warnings about tests) because they figured it out when radioactive fallout from the tests contaminated their x-ray film? That one?

[bogleech]

And that was still just one government using the fullest extent of their power to try and keep just one secret in a time before cellular phone cameras or the internet. Imagine thinking multiple, rival governments agreed to fake a virus to fool just some of their citizens into staying home from work, while also agreeing to pay billions of dollars to compensate them for it.

[valtsv]

tired: mermaids are all women

wired: much like elves, merfolk are mistaken by sailors for being all women because they have long hair and are very pretty

[valtsv]

inspired: merfolk actually have very different concepts of gender to humans because they’re an entirely different species with their own unique culture

[valtsv]

marine scientist: what’s your gender?

merperson: what’s a gender

marine scientist: like, are you a man or a woman?

merperson: i’m merfolk

marine scientist: no, like, what’s in your pants?

merperson: i don’t… wear any? i don’t have legs?

[9lunarseas6-deactivated20240914]

It’s a biological fact that fish do indeed change their sex to keep the male/female ratio balanced in their school population. So this fluidity actually makes more sense from a scientific standpoint than the silly idea that merfolk are born with a strictly assigned sex like humans.

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Merfolk are all canonically genderfluid and we love them for that

[anonymous-lizard]

Human: (invites merfolk friend to a boat party with their friends)

Merfolk: oh man, there are a lot of women here. Haha don’t worry guys, I got this :) *changes into a man to keep a balance because that’s culturally polite for merfolk*

Human: (spits drink) what the FUCK

[sexy-necromancing-bird]

OH MY GOD

[kingfisher-colours]

So in the presence of a ship with an entirely or mostly male crew, nearby mermaids would become female to keep the balance.

[ace-aussie-asshole]

That’s it. We figured out why everyone thinks merfolk are all women. Get a boat of fems out there and let’s see what they report.

[practicallyoblivious-blog]

[shinethewaythrough]

This rapid slide from attempted machismo to sweet tender feelings is what happened to the show, too.

[beardedmrbean]

Next up someone is going to claim that the Narnia series isn't kids books.

Kids books is probably not the best way to word it, you can enjoy them at every age, including your childhood, as you get older you may find new truths in them, but they're still good for any age.

[cookingwithroxy]

I want you to understand this. I NEED you to understand this. My mother read me the hobbit as bedtime story, and I started pushing myself to read before pre-school so I could in fact read the hobbit for myself instead of having to wait for bedtime.

I didn't do so right away but jesus wept I PUSHED myself to learn to read SPECIFICALLY so I could read The Hobbit! It is, in fact, a children's story! And children only see page count as 'there is a lot of this fun story to read!'