Dysfunctionally Functional

I'm Bethany, I'm a Sagittarius, and I love long walks on the beach. But not really.

[intosnarkness]

Jurassic Park except they provide proper enrichment for the animals and they therefor don’t feel the need to hunt slow, small humans.

[intosnarkness]

“We stuffed this pumpkin full of live goats for the T. rex watch him try to get them out with his little fingers.”

[intosnarkness]

“Turns out the raptors are cage breakers, so we’ve gotten them a series of door handles to manipulate. Little guys just love it.”

[tiger-in-the-flightdeck]

"The Rexes are incredibly affectionate pack animals, so we were careful to breed multiples. Be sure to come during spring time to watch them go broody over anything even vaguely egg-shaped." "We put the Raptors through target training and now if they are bored, hungry, or just want a scratch under the chin they go to spot near the bars and ring a little bell for attention." "Imprinting after hatching was so common that we now have keepers under contract to care for the animals well into adulthood to prevent them from pining." "The Gallimimus turned out to be just giant Canada Geese, and so fear nothing. Their keeper regularly has to stop them from trying to attack fences, guests, feeding buckets, and the now traumatised pack of Ceratosaurs in the next paddock."

[rannulfr]

"We also fired Dr. Henry Wu."

[jewish-tutter]

someone explain the jewish holidays to me like i'm 5 years old

[rizaoftheowls]

Purim: They tried to kill us, we survived. Let’s tell the story, wear silly costumes, and get wasted. (Optional: have a carnival or a play!)

Passover: They enslaved us, God freed us. Remember this via a big ceremony/feast and then don’t eat bread for a week. This is a big one; you’re going to have to clean your house and host all your relatives.

Tu B'Shevat: It’s Earth Day, let’s eat some fruit.

Simchas Torah: We read the entire Torah every year, and we got to the end! Let’s have a dance party and then start all over again!

Tisha B'Av: They destroyed our temples. That sucked.

Rosh HaShanah: Happy New Year! It’s time to ask (and grant) forgiveness for the wrongs done in the past year, pledge to do better, and wish for a sweet new year. And go to synagogue for HOURS.

Yom Kippur: Rosh HaShanah’s somber counterpart. God decides on this day your fate for the next year. Repent your sins, hope for forgiveness, and fast. (And go to synagogue for HOURS.)

Yom HaShoah: Holocaust Remembrance Day.

Sukkot: Harvest festival! Sleep in a hut under the stars.

Shemini Atzeret: Man, I don’t even know?

Shavuot: God gave us the Torah! That was pretty nice of him.

Chanukah: They busted up our temple and tried to forcibly convert us. We responded with guerilla warfare. Let’s eat some fried food. Candles!

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

So basically the entire Jewish holiday calendar is giving the middle finger to death and high-fiving, with or without various combinations of prayer and foods.

[rizaoftheowls]

Yup. Or as we say, “They tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat.”

[galaxy-of-great-possibilities]

thank you for the desc’s bcs they are beautiful and i am now educated

[above-d-clouds]

A handy table for everyone:

[cityglowing]

Y’all have no idea how happy it makes me to see my goyim followers reblogging this. Really. It means the world to me.

[flootzavut]

Okay that table is a work of art

[justanothermoonwalker]

Thank you for explaining so much!

[smol-and-grumpy]

Nat’s Followers Giveaway

Dudes, it’s that time of the year again that I’m showing my appreciation for you by giving something away. You guys have been dealing me for so long, and I just want to give something back.

How you can win something, you ask? 

You can find out more information about it below the cut.

Keep reading

[kelseywrestling]

Reblog if you loved the Supernatural series finale and thought that it was satisfying.

[sam-winchester-admiration-league]

Over here!  We reblogged hundreds of positive posts on the finale.  Come visit!

[mourningsam]

I did. I still can't believe how much I love the series finale. It was perfect.

[reddieandwaiting87]

I was so worried about the finale cause this season has been meh. But so glad they didn't disappointed.

It's one of those finales that makes you wanna watch from the start again.

[nancylou444]

This post needs more notes. 

[aborddelimpala]

It was way better than I expected 

[lastcallatrockysbar]

I have a crying hangover, but I’m completely at peace with the finale.  ❤️

[sammit-janet]

same @lastcallatrockysbar​, for both things

[wingedcatninja]

I'm emotionally exhausted. I want to rewatch it, but I'm afraid I'll pass out from dehydration.

[date-a-jew-suggestions]

I’m so fucking tired of goyim ignoring antisemitism. They ignore everything until something so extreme happens, like the recent shooting. How about you start caring about us BEFORE WE FUCKING DIE. Just fucking LISTEN for ONCE when we say we’re angry or scared or sad about the injustices we as a people have faced OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I don’t know one single Jewish person who hasnt been touched by antisemitism. I’ve been called a kike more times than I can count. I went to elementary school with a boy who told me he wished Hitler had won the war. I was shouted at and threatened by a stranger for wearing a Magen David. My grandpa has had to respond to bomb threats at our synagogue. My grandma had to switch roommates in college because her roommate was violently antisemitic. My fucking Jewish PRESCHOOL had to have ARMED GUARDS to keep people from fucking MURDERING PRESCHOOL AGED JEWISH CHILDREN. I thought all preschools had armed guards until I was like 12. Just fucking LISTEN when we say things. Here, I’ll give you a list of things you NEED to listen to us about.

Holocaust deniers are violent antisemites, no exceptions. They are dangerous and do not deserve a platform to speak.

Jewish people cannot be nazis, no matter how much you disagree with them. Ben Shapiro is a piece of transphobic racist shit, but he’s not and will never be a Nazi.

Trump and many people in his cabinet have repeatedly used antisemitic dog whistles, most recently calling himself a nationalist.

We. Are not. All. White. Stop being dicks to Jewish people of color.

And we’re not all ashkenazi!!! Google is your friend if you don’t know what that means.

Don’t do that “Nazi puncher” bullshit if you don’t actively uplift and defend Jewish people. Punching nazis is a great thing but you need to uplift and support jews at the same time.

Stop pinning Israeli war crimes on random Jewish people. And stop demanding we tell you our opinions on Israel before you treat us with basic human decency.

GOY IS NOT A SLUR

Judaism is an ETHNORELIGION. I am both religiously AND ethnically Jewish. It’s not that hard to understand.

Stop tone policing us

Just fucking listen when we speak

[date-a-jew-suggestions]

Goyim please reblog

[winchester-love05]

I have a lot of thoughts and feelings with this being the last day of filming for Supernatural.

Like many others the boys and this show got me through a lot in life. They got me through my brothers suicide and the family issus that followed. During that time the boys have me hope that my siblings and I could make it through. Even when we fought or didn't talk, we would be ok.

Supernatural got me through college with giving me moments of distraction and community. Supernatural and Tumblr helped me meet the man I will marry literally a month from today. We met on this site when I saw his Dean cosplay nearly 10 years ago. Supernatural helped me find my family; and for that the Winchesters will always be a part of my family.

Family don't end in blood and this is not The End.

[petite-madame]

A well-deserved night at the diner - (2020)

[mijomii]

Sometimes I say self loathing things to my therapist and he looks at me dead in the eyes before saying “You fucking moron.” and tbh same

[mijomii]

Me: I think I don’t exist.

Therapist: Listen, you do exist, and if you didn’t, someone would have to create you because the world would be a much sadder place.

Me: Jerome, how dare you saying something so sweet when I’m dissociating.

[mijomii]

Me: Honestly, (thing that is totally fucked up for any ‘sane’ person) is normal, right?

Therapist: No.

Me: Wow.

Therapist: You’re just a fucked up bitch.

Me: I do agree with the fucked up bitch part.

Therapist: That’s a start!

[mijomii]

Me: I guess he’s still my friend?

Therapist: Considering what you told me and how much you wanna beat him to death, he’s not. You pretty much hate him despite knowing him for years.

Me:

Me: Why did I need to come here to realize that.

Therapist: Because that’s my job to help you to understand some stuff. Also because you’re way too kind and you would let someone punch you in the guts and still consider them as your friend while they stab you.

Me: I don’t need that kind of call out, Jerome.

[mijomii]

Me: Hey, I brought you coffee. And croissants too, but I ate them. *puts Starbucks coffee in front of him*

Therapist: Oh that’s nice!!... Oh my name is on it!!

Me: Yeah!!

Therapist: It’s wholesome but... *very confused and silently*... How do I drink it?

[mijomii]

Me, not being able to come to my appointment and having to call him: I’m sorry, it’s all my fault, I’m so so so sorr-

Therapist: I dare you to say sorry one more time. I dare you.

[mijomii]

Therapist: Hey I wanna show you this super funny image I found the other day.

Me: What-

Therapist: *turns his screen and show me THIS* 

Me: 

Me: Jerome.

[mijomii]

Therapist: You went to the gaypride?

Me: Yeah, I went.

Therapist: Was it something you enjoyed?

Me: Mh. Yeah. Sorta.

Therapist: Did you see some bears?

Me:

Me: Jerome wh-

Therapist: That’s the only term I know outside of the LGTB one, I wanted to use it. 

[mijomii]

Therapist: Are you sure you’re not becoming roommate with (name) because of pity? Kinda sacrificing yourself?

Me: No, I want it!!

Therapist: Finally, you’re not forcing yourself for the others! And you’re doing something you want! I’m proud of you!

Me: You’re more of a dad than my own father.

Therapist: That’s not very hard.

[mijomii]

Me: I always wondered, are you queer?

Therapist: I am not.

Me: Ooh.

Therapist: Or am I?

Me: Ooh!

[mijomii]

As an update, Jerome gave my appointment to someone’s else today so we were both in the waiting room, confused and he walked in, patted my head and said sorry but honestly it was hilarious.

The secretary came to tell me that Jerome actually forgot to write me down on the appointment list.

This is a 100% normal situation with Jerome as my Therapist.

[mijomii]

As an addition, more than half of my friends want Jerome to adopt me and refer to him as “Therapist dad”.

He’s aware of it and think it’s hilarious.

[mijomii]

Me, after complaining for the 25 times about my birth father: Idk if you noticed, but I’m full of anger against him.

Therapist: Oh, really, I never noticed. You know, you should turn that anger into indifference. It would help you.

Me: Unholy gods, I wish it was me.

[mijomii]

Therapist: You know, people will still love you even if you don’t offer them things all the time. You don’t have to do that.

Me: What??

[mijomii]

Therapist: Why don’t you send a mail to your psychiatrist when you have a bad mood swing?

Me: Like what? ‘Hey Joël wassup, I’ve been very suicidal lately last night I wanted to die. Hope you have rad vacations and the weed is good save some good kush for me, kissy kissy.’ ?

Therapist: Exactly.

Me: You’re as bad as me with human interactions Jerome, y’know.

[mijomii]

Me, heavily dissociating: I don’t exist-

Therapist: Can I touch you to prove you that you do?

Me: Dinner first.

Therapist:

Therapist: Damien, you moron.

[mijomii]

Therapist: You need vacations.

Me: I’m broke.

Therapist: Oh yeah.

Therapist: You still need vacations tho.

Me: Jerome, I am still broke.

[mijomii]

Me, by text: Hey, you just walk by me!

Therapist, by text: Oh sorry. I didn’t see you.

Therapist, by text: Wait. Were you at the tattoo shop?

Me, by text, totally at the tattoo shop: You have no proof.

[mijomii]

For a bit of context here: Around two months ago I went to a friend’s who happened the live on the same street as Jerome, which I didn’t know. He was really surprised to see me and came to check on me, asking me why I was here with a bit of concern on his voice. And this take place earlier this month:

Therapist: So your friend lives in the same street than I?

Me: Yes. Town’s short I guess.

Therapist: Were you really going to your friend...?

Me: Yes?? Why else would I be here?

Therapist: A lot of drug deals happen in this street and I see often teenagers and young adults coming and buy stuffs. I was a bit worried for you.

[mijomii]

Me, at 2pm: I’m sorry I’m going to be late!

Therapist: Your appointment was this morning at 11:30am, Damien.

Me:

Me: What.

[mijomii]

Jerome is still not aware of his fame and idk how to announce him.

[mijomii]

Therapist; What’s up with you and wanting domestic rats.

Me: I’m gonna get a rat and call him Jerome just to piss you off.

Therapist:

Therapist: How dare you.

[mijomii]

Therapist: Weed doesn’t do much on me and I must admit I’m kinda disappointed.

Me:

Therapist: Do you smoke?

Me: Jerome.

[bread-n-bed-n-head]

On hard days I wonder how Jerome is doing

[mijomii]

He’s doing fine, last time he shown me his fav pic of a red panda which is this one

[whatinrandamnation]

I FOUND IT I FOUND IT I FUCKING FOUND IT AAAAAAAH YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MADE ME FEEL

[mijomii]

It’s really amazing how happy people get when they find this post omg

[aethera-secat]

Always reblog Jerome.

Is he now aware of his fame?

[mijomii]

After months, he is, and he just told me “Haha, this is funny. I’m happy it’s helping people!”

I think he doesn’t realize that he’s known *worldwide*

[a-bisexual-teenager]

I LOVE THIS POST!!!!!

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

This is great

[therealcanadianpumpkin]

OP can we get more updates please

[mijomii]

Sure! Here’s his fav cat breed

[katvaramell]

OP we need another update!

[mijomii]

Is his fav dog breed an acceptable update? Or more?

[mijomii]

Special guest of the day because I haven’t seen Jerome in a little while: My psychiatrist.

Psychiatrist, pointing at my little shovel tattoo: Does it have a meaning?

Me: Actually yes, it’s one of the rare ones who does. I wanted to be a gravedigger for a long time but since I’m disabled I can’t. So it’s just a little funny reminder of my wish to become a gravedigger.

Psychiatrist: Until when did you want to become a gravedigger?

Me: Until 20yo I think? Yeah, from kindergarten to 20yo.

Psychiatrist: Oh. Well, who am I to judge when I was a kid i wanted to be a garbageman because ridding the truck looked funny.

[mijomii]

Therapist: You’re allowed to tell what you feel. You can’t keep everything stored in bottles and hope for the best, you’ll never be happy if you do this.

Me: But they won’t be happy.

Therapist: Be egoistic. You’re not in charge of everybody’s happiness but you’re in charge of yours. It will take times to start to say that you dislike what people are saying, it will take time to manage to say to the others when they hurt you. It’s not easy. But you’re allowed to tell people how you feel and to accept how you feel rather than bottling up.

Me: How long will it take me to manage to do it?

Therapist: I started to do it in my thirties. There is no starting point, you just go at your pace.

[mijomii]

Therapist: Last time I saw a handful of young people with pride flags. I tried to see if you and your friends where at it.

Me: Jerome, I’m not at every pride manifestations. I won’t even go to the pride parade this year.

Therapist, sounding slightly disappointed: Oh well. You should, it’s fun.

[silliestgoosephob]

Awww! Maybe you guys can go together some time! (Unless that violates a therapist thing?)

[mijomii]

It does! Unless he goes on his own and we end up meeting each other because of randomness, I can’t offer him to come. But regardless, I don’t plan to go to it this year :0!

[mijomii]

Therapist: You’re not at our therapy group?

Me: No, you invited me last time but I had a medical appointment so I didn’t come. But what do you exactly do in that therapy group?

Therapist: We have tea and biscuits. And we talk to each other about diverse stuffs.

Me: Oh I’d like to join then.

Therapist: And you’ll try to talk, right?

Me: ... I mostly come for the tea and the biscuits.

Therapist: As long you leave some for me. *proceeds to add in big in his schedule ADD DAMIEN TO GROUP*

[mijomii]

In these confined days, I miss therapy with Jerome.

[mijomii]

Therapist, calling me: Hello how are you!

Me: Oh hello!!! I’m fine thanks!! And you?

Therapist: I’m doing good! Do you know where I can get some really good croissants?

[big-oya-energy]

AlwAYS REBLOG JEROME

[cillianmurphy]

here is a carrd for BLM 

here is a carrd for the crisis happening right now in Yemen

here is a carrd for Hong Kong

here is a carrd for Palestine.

here is a carrd for trans rights 

here is a carrd for the terror bill in Philippines. 

here is a carrd with various donation links (for Syria, BLM etc)

here is a carrd for LGBT+ rights

this post is constantly being updated - please send an ask if you find more!

[knockfivetimes]

Can’t stop watching this

[hersheyhipster]

Do Your Fucking Research *Nicki Minaj Voice*

[bcpk-deactivated20210131]

Wow… Lmao.

[paulwalkersdogwalker]

Some people threw white paint on it a few years back.

[knowledgeequalsblackpower]

They want to be a victim so bad.

[softjunebreeze]

Fun Fact: That’s a statue of the fist which Joe Louis used to knock out Max Schmeling, Hitler’s favored heavyweight boxer in 1938. Schmeling won the 1st bout by knockout in round twelve, but Joe Louis came back in the follow-up match and laid him the fuck out in the 1st round.

[strixobscuro]

Fun Fact: Schmeling was hated by the Nazis for losing to a black man and for having a Jewish manager, and he hated them right back, stating in 1975 that he was glad he’d lost the fight because the thought of  the Nazis using him for propaganda purposes sickened him. He also personally saved the lives of two Jewish children and later became lifelong friends with Joe Louis.

So maybe don’t refer to him as “Hitler’s favored heavyweight boxer”…

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Thank you for this additional info!

Reblogging this for the added facts and so people know that Schmeling wasn’t a Nazi or Nazi collaborator and was in fact a good man

[d0cpr0fess0r]

Imagine hating Nazis so much that when you get beaten up your response is “Good, now they can’t use me as a role model.”

[impalababe-67]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Jensen Ackles (@jensenackles) on May 9, 2020 at 11:45am PDT

First of all that is effing adorable!

And he keeps his cool to be manhandled like that....because he is used to it...

Go on, have a look...😉

[marvelcapsicle-deactivated20210]

all these people saying taika will ruin star wars the way he ruined thor like can you imagine having no taste at all :/

[nudityandnerdery]

This is exactly why I want Taika to make a Star Wars movie. He’s already made movies where he took Thor and vampires, two subjects that were way too easy for people to make into overwrought, over-serious movies, and made them these hilarious, loving pieces about them that capture the absurdities in the best way without insulting me for loving them, and goddammit that is precisely what Star Wars needs.

[alexromero]

[proud-hufflepuff]

Oh my god he really looks like That

[irhinoceri]

Here are some gems from the article:

[sis-nyc]

That he responded to a 10-minute bit mocking him with “it means ‘barrel-maker,’ an honorable profession” makes me believe that Mullaney was 98 to 100% accurate.

[adoreaore]

[anxietyproblem]

[chalamet-x]

“In fact, during the audition with Chris Evans, the script says, “Spidey flips into scene,” and Tom goes, “Oh, should I do that?” Evans is like, [sarcastically] “Oh, yeah. Yeah, you just flip into the scene kid. No, you just walk in.” He does it. A standing flip, jump, flip, land. Even Chris Evans was like, “What…what happened?” - Kevin Feige, producer and President of Marvel

[empgonzo]

You hire Spider-Man and you fucking got Spider-Man.

[musicalsaregreat]

Wait for me, I’m coming Wait, I’m coming with you Wait for me, I’m coming too I’m coming too