oozey mess
★
dirt enthusiast
Xuebing Du
blake kathryn
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
JVL
noise dept.
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Peter Solarz
Cosimo Galluzzi
occasionally subtle
roma★
KIROKAZE
if i look back, i am lost
titsay
Sweet Seals For You, Always
JBB: An Artblog!
Janaina Medeiros
d e v o n
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Argentina
seen from Lithuania
seen from United States
seen from Honduras
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Pakistan
seen from United States
seen from France
seen from United States
@youareverypogchamp
Buzzfeed Unsolved - Supernatural: The Puzzling Possession of Alex Quackity
Today, we cover the life of Alex Quackity, a former politician, general, and casino owner. But is his life simply a tale of the corruption of power? Or is there something darker at play?
now that i think about it, jonathan harker would’ve been a great character in frankenstein. he’s so completely oblivious to dracula’s red flag parade that he’d probably completely avert the creature’s murderous rampage by accidentally befriending him after spending a page and a half writing about some weirdly tall homeless guy with daddy issues he ran into
“I’ve met the most peculiar man today. He was far taller in height than I have ever witnessed before. His face gave off a general sense of ugliness, though I cant quite place why considering he seems to be quite handsome when not in animation. A multitude of scars seemed to cover his body, perhaps from a terrible accident and the subsistent surgeries. I’ve noticed that he always looks close to crying. When i asked his name, he replied, in length, that he had none. How queer! As he seemed fairly harmless, and rather in need, I invited him to accompany me on my passage to Count Dracula. He looked bewildered, but accepted. I know not whether he shall continue to accompany me when I return to Mina, but I’m quite certain she would never reject hospitality to so miserable a man!”
Also consider:
My dearest Margaret, so odd a stranger has joined my ship! I know nothing of him other than he seems to be some sort of European, like Victor, though not the same. He introduced himself as Count Dracula, and spoke with utmost clarity and mastery of the english language. Victor looked upon him in a rather fragile state and cried out.
“Is one demon not enough for my so miserable life? Must another specter haunt my every waking hour, even now as I am so wretched? Oh, save me Walton, save me! The devil comes near, and he dost wish to smother all hope of respite and tranquility!”
Saying such, he leaped from where he was seated on the deck, and promptly fainted. I apologized for my friend’s behavior and brought Victor back to my cabin.
Sincerely, your confused brother, Robert. W
You know, considering Victor’s extensive experience with dismembering dead bodies and reanimating and the fact that his problem for his entire book was that he didn’t think anyone would believe him, I do sincerely think that Frankenstein would catch onto Dracula’s deal at once and immediately make it everyone else’s problem.
victor accidentally fucking up dracula while jonathan accidentally un-fucks up the creature? sign me the hell up!
All these posts declaring that Victor would only be able to cry and faint at Dracula seem to forget that his first meeting with his creature started with him hurling insults and trying to fistfight the 8 ft tall supernatural brick shithouse of muscle while having the constitution of a consumptive heroine so like while this absolutely wouldn’t bode well for his long term survival in Dracula’s castle you’ve gotta admit it would be way funnier.
Essentially the creature would find the one guy who’s too polite to say anything about his appearance while Dracula to his horror would have met the one man in the world who’s even more of a fucking nightmare to deal with than him.
Frankenstein, eyes bloodshot and probably on totally normal Victorian amounts of cocaine: “Hey buddy count I found all these fresh cadavers in your basement —“
Dracula: “Vait how did you find my cadavers”
Frankenstein: “Look, I need them for reasons and you just had them laying around and were obviously not using them and they’re peasants right? So —“
Dracula: “Vhat do you possibly need cadavers for?”
Frankenstein: “I already told you, REASONS! Anyway I can’t help but notice all of them are totally drained of blood and I need the blood.”
Dracula: “how are you getting them out of the ground so quickly, you’re like a hundred pounds soaking vet —“
Frankenstein: “THE BLOOD, Dracula. I need the BLOOD. WHERE THE FUCK IS THE BLOOD. TELL ME, DRAC.”
Later:
Frankenstein: *long winded flowery speech about how Count Dracula is a fiendish devil and vile abomination etc for what he’s done to the corpses*
Dracula: My brother in Christ YOU’RE the one robbing MY graveyard!!!
Frankenstein: *suckerpunches him*
you’re the only person on this post i trust. please never stop i love you
this is like just a fourth of a whole musical medley addressing that you can’t live like the simpsons anymore. harsh :(
We need to have a nomination for “Stupidest thing Tumblr.com has ever believed” and just move into an official Top 10 List.
For my nominations, I’m putting up:
If you eat a chocolate bar a very specific way, you will break physics and get infinite chocolate.
or
It is impossible that you spelled “Berenstain Bears” wrong and is, instead, more likely that the universe fractured into separate, overlapping realities in the last 20 years.
I can’t decide which is more beautiful. It’s why we need a vote.
this is a picture of the human brain at the moment of death. tragic and beautiful
Fuck. That is a damn good nomination.
if you close your eyes when the train hits your brain will assume you are dead. Some find this comforting.
We’re getting into the good ones now. This is some classic Tumblr.
Two old favourites:
“Bitch, That’s the Tubby Custard Machine” (http://imgur.com/gallery/IObQF)
and the horse dildo that was passed off as someone’s arm. (http://abakkus.tumblr.com/post/48958415162)
This is rapidly becoming a master post of ignorances and I could not possibly be happier.
Rare blue watermelon
That disease where you get purple eyes, no period, and no body hair
How have we gone this far without anyone mentioning the bird in the chocolate fountain
soap makes water molecules smaller
I nominate the “we are killing the earth” picture of the earth in comparison from 1978 to 2012
the dog with the slice of ham on its face that everyone thought was a gigantic burn scar
“Tequila is the only alcohol thats not a depressant so you can drink as much of it as you like”
that post with the picture of the joker without makeup and people thinking it was a real person and defending him
that photo of voldemort being passed off as an aborted fetus
The two way mirror
“listen here, cumslut.”
I can’t believe you guys forgot someone trying to pass off a picture of the inside of a fig as a microscopic view of the inside of a vagina.
I can’t believe I was on Tumblr for every single one of these posts.
all the links on this post are broken and some arent given so heres a compilation of links for the stupidest things tumblr has believed (i tried to find the og post for most of these but some of them are posts/articles about said posts)
infinite chocolate hack
berensta/ein bears (mandela effect)
mri scan walking dead gif
train gif brain thinks you died
tubby custard machine
horse dildo
moonmelon (and variations)
alexandria’s genisis
bird chocolate fountain og post
soap shrinks water molecules
we are killing the earth
ham on dog
tequila isnt a depressant
earth is lumpy
joker without makeup
voldemort fetus
two way mirror og post
fig vagina
gun memes but I made them anomalocaris
i cannot believe that i am only now learning about the dinosaur king drama
in case you’ve never heard of dinosaur king:
it’s a pretty mediocre anime from the early 90s, that was pretty much just made to market this dinosaur trading card game. the plot was extremely boring (until stuff suddenly started happening around episode 35), and for some reason they decided to have all the dinosaur fights with these incredibly stiff 3d models, which was.. a choice..
all together it was so bad that it’s good (but not particularly good), and kinda forgettable
and then they decided that it needed a remake. they were releasing some new toys, and a video game was being worked on, so in 1999 they released a fucking remake of that weird show
the writers and producers were these two austrian guys, suppenheimer and vemovich
the remake was planned to be two seasons
the original dinosaur king had two seasons as well, the first had 49 episodes, and the second had 30 episodes
the remake was 60 episodes total, and completely ignored season two of the original
suppenheimer and vemovich only retold season one, expanded it a bit, reshuffled some events (namely putting the twist from episode 35 way earlier), giving the characters actual motivations… they actually managed to make the show good
(they still kept in the weird 3d dinosaurs, and the card game tie-ins, because at the core the show was still about marketing the toys)
and then season two ended, neatly tying up the story, and it was genuinely good
and then the network renewed the show for a third season
suppenheimer was done with the show at that point. they only ever wanted to make two seasons, and they had told exactly the story that they wanted to tell, so they were out
but vemovich wasn’t done yet, so he stayed on and wrote season three.
and season four.
and…
the entire remake turned out to be twenty seasons long
and it got weird, lemme tell you
the very first thing vemovich introduced in season three of dinosaur king, the anime about dinosaurs and traveling to the ancient past, was alien space pirates
which i guess makes sense, because they can travel through time, so the future is technically also viable
and then season six was all about one of the main characters becoming a werewolf? which was never fixed, but they also just never mention it at any point after the season six finale
season eleven was all about the love story between one of the supporting cast and one of the antagonists (who had a redemption arc early in season two, but vemovich cast him as a villain again anyway starting in season four)
season sixteen only had one episode where any dinosaurs appeared?? in a show called dinosaur king? and i’m pretty sure they said the word “dinosaur” zero times in that entire season
it was weird, okay, the entire remake was weird after season two
meanwhile, on the forums (and later on twitter), suppenheimer has completely divorced themselves from the show’s production, but they are definitely still watching, and loudly complaining
suppenheimer and vemovich were actually said to be on pretty good terms during the production of the first two seasons, but after that suppenheimer got mean
[id: a tweet by @ cimminimmi from december 2016 that reads “what was the worst show you guys watched this year?”, with a reply from @ suppi_sr (suppenheimer’s twitter) that reads “dinosaur king. for the 5th year in a row.” end id.]
we never really heard anything from vemovich. he was never on any of the forums, and he had a rule of never publicly interacting with any hate whatsoever
so we had suppenheimer just tearing the show down at every point, calling for people to stop watching, and even making several petitions to have the show cancelled, none of which ever went anywhere of course
because we then got season seventeen, which introduces vemovich’s author insert. they are absolutely not subtle about it, the character pretty much goes “hey, my name is vemovich, i’m the guy who is writing this story”
and he just occasionally pops up during the next four seasons
and then season nineteen and twenty are building up to this great unseen danger that is threatening to wipe out the universe
and at the very goddamn end of season twenty, the finale of the entire show, the big threat is finally revealed
so, i’ve said that this entire thing is an anime with weird 3d dinosaurs inserted into it
the big bad, the last villain that was threatening to destroy the fabric of reality… was suppenheimer
a live action suppenheimer, who is greenscreened into the anime world
he is of course stopped by vemovich’s author insert, who up to that point had been 2d animated, but now he is also greenscreened into the show
so the goddamn epic finale of the show is a live action suppenheimer and vemovich fighting, using 3d animated dinosaurs, on this 2d animated battlefield
it looked bad
and then the show is over
but this story is still going
because suppenheimer has spent the last eighteen years tearing apart the show and tearing apart vemovich publicly at least once per week
and then, two years after the show is over
those bastards tweet out that they are married
[id: a twitter conversation between vemovich, suppenheimer, and twitter user abblycidre from october 2021. vemovich is replying “love you, babe” to suppenheimer. suppenheimer replies “love you too.” abblycidre replies “don’t you two have beef?” suppenheimer replies “we can have beef and be married at the same time. it’s fine.” abblycidre replies “married?!” in all caps. vemovich replies “last i checked we’ve been married for 13 years now, yeah”. end id.]
so i guess the tweet where suppenheimer threatened to divorce vemovich wasn’t a joke after all
[a tweet by suppenheimer from june 2012 that reads “@ vemovich. if you don’t stop ruining dinosaur king i will divorce you.” end id.]
suppenheimer and vemovich have been living together for the entire goddamn run of the dinosaur king remake, while suppenheimer was constantly starting shit about the show online
they’ve been dating since before the show even started, and they got married during season nine, and they’ve just been keeping up those personas for twenty fucking years
and i just kinda don’t know what to do with my life now that i know that
what the fuck did those guys’ home life look like?!
For everyone wondering if this is real or not:
Yep, it’s real all right. If you’re interested in learning more about the show itself, I recommend reading through these couple of articles on the series: https://www.fandom.com/articles/dinosaur-king-internal-controversy or, for a more in-depth analysis, https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/dinosaur-king_(season_1).
You should give these sources a good read-through either way because in all honesty, OP missed out on some prime groundbreaking material. For example, the fact that this show’s depiction of an ankylosaurus is thought to be the most accurate depiction of ankylosaurs in the 20th Century. Or how those first 2 seasons somehow have the lowest overall score of the series on IMDB and other rating systems, despite the controversy of later seasons (which might not seem like much, but it at least explains why none of the aforementioned petitions had any effect).
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Like yes the marriage Twitter reveal was really something, but it should not overshadow these absolutely mind boggling stats that come from such a niche 90s anime.
thank you for this addition. you actually mentioned some stuff that i didn’t find during my research (i did not know about the ankylosaurus thing), so kudos for that
there are a few things in the wiki article that i wanted to include, i just couldn’t find a good place to mention them in a post that already got a bit longer than i meant for it to be 😅
you know what maybe i did miss tumblr a little bit
The most beautiful folktales from Ukraine
A list of folktales from Ukraine. Some Ukrainian, some Rusyn, some Cossack, some Hungarian. It is a diverse country with many beautiful traditions. (Links in the titles)
The first pysanky
The origin story of the famous Ukrainian painted eggs. One year a harsh winter arrives early, and people collect half-frozen birds that could not migrate away in time. They care for them in their own homes throughout the winter. When the warm weather comes, the birds fly away, and bring beautiful colorful eggs as a sign of gratitude: the first pysanky. (This one also has a picture book retelling.)
The Christmas spiders
One of the most beautiful Christmas tales I know. Spiders explore a family’s tree, covering it in silver thread - and, true to the miracle of the season, the threads actually turn into tinsel.
Ivan, the giant’s son
A poor man chases his youngest son away, and the boy takes service in the home of a friendly giant. When he grows into a young warrior, the giant sends him out in various directions to defeat vampires. He hacks his way through cursed forests and makes deserts bloom again. He also kills a dragon and rescues a princess.
The princess who slapped a dragon
A Transcarpathian variant of a well-known tale type, but with a marvelous twist. Three superpowered brothers rescue a princess, but on the way back a shapeshifting dragon takes the place of one of them. The brother left behind has to find a way down the Glass Mountain to reveal the truth before the dragon marries the princess. When he does, the princess takes matters into her own hand. Quite literally.
The tulip soldiers
A Hungarian historical legend from Transcarpathia. A boy (who later grew up to be revolution leader Rákóczi Ferenc II) protects his mother’s tulips from a sudden hailstorm. Later, when their castle is besieged, the grateful flowers transform into colorful soldiers, and protect the boy and his family.
The boy who wanted to walk on the clouds
There’s a whole collection of Transcarpathian folktales, but this one is probably my favorite story in the collection. A boy dreams of walking on the clouds while everyone believes he is a fool. He sets out on an adventure, climbs a mountain, and eventually finds his way to the Cloud Kingdom - proving that dreams do come true.
Boris, Son of Three
A boy is adopted by three brothers, who name him Boris, Son of Three. He sets out on a great adventure involving treasures, firebirds, and the Sun itself, until he finds a kingdom and a happy ending.
The poor man and the Raven Czar
A giant raven makes a man choose between his meager wealth and his son - and the poor man chooses right. In exchange the raven czar offers him a reward, and the son of the man sets out to claim it. I like this story because it subverts some old folktale tropes.
The origin of the Tisza River
A magical Rusyn legend about the river Tisza, which flows from the Ukraine across Hungary until it joins the Danube in Serbia. A kind fairy from the salt caves turns two fearsome giants into two bears - then, to protect people from the bears, but still give use to their strength, she turns them into two great rivers.
Sirko and the Wolf
An old dog is chased away from home for being useless. He befriends a wolf, who comes up with a plan to help. He pretends to steal a child, so the dog can rescue it; after that, the dog is cherished by people again. In exchange he invites the wolf to a feast in secret - and when people try to attack him, the dog helps him get away.
Foxy-Loxy
I just wanted to add here that Ukrainian folktales have a really fun female trickster, a vixen that gets back at a mean wolf in various creative ways. Yay!
It laughs, it laughs, a multitude of overlapped voices whispering their amusement as Techno strains to hold on to the last of his consciousness. All he can hear is them.
“Give me Tommy,” he thinks. “Give me Tommy, you fucking bitch.”
...do my Minecraft villagers think I can't talk? The player never makes any noise close to language in-game...do they know that my little crouch dance means hi? Are they learning that when the strange flying one who doesn't speak holds out armfulls of wheat to them that means they want to trade? Are they just used to being silently shuffled away from ledges by this cryptic protector who eats golden food and doesn't seem to need sleep?? Why have I never thought of this before, the villagers must be so confused by dealing with me...
#Minecraft #just #imagine #there's this local sort-of-person: you'd call them a person but they don't look like anyone you know and they fly and kill monsters #and raise houses in a day with materials they pull from thin air #they forge tools the likes of which your most skilled smiths could never dream of #so there's this local sort-of-god: you'd call them a god for all the reasons above #but you've also seen them die in two hits from clumsily bumping into your iron protectors the wrong way #and they come back with nothing and scramble for their belongings only to lose them again by falling from one of their own towers #which they seemed to have been just kind of. looking around from the top of? as though they'd lost something? #you're not sure they know how to get home?? #and also they did just die a couple times?? you ask them if they're okay but they don't seem to understand you #they just give you pumpkins #you take them mostly out of pity #maybe you can help them find their village...? but no the outside is scary actually and honestly you'd rather have them here #stupid as they can be #they build new things and they keep on trading and they never say a word #but they give you bread for free sometimes #and what more do you need from your local sort-of-deity-sort-of-dumbass? #maybe the villagers just think of me like obsessed cat owners think about their critter #beautiful and powerful and please stop eating plastic oh god why are you like this #... ironically villagers are often the exact same way but opposite lol #hey guess what #i LOVE these dudes #in case you couldn't tell (via @shadeswift99)
A tale in 4 parts
Wait there’s a follow up
im sorry but you guys are so far behind
okay wait i went back and screenshotted some (most?) of the good ones that were like on the main plot here so you all saw the top posts with the Irish Stegosaurus well that evolved into
also kind of unrelated but because of this stupid subreddit im actually not as bad at identifying flags
anyways sorry for the long post i just really loved this whole thing
It’s time to activate it…
Bites The Dust! now this entire post will be reversed!
Am I having a fucking stroke
Childhood made everything feel like it lingered. The time it took for hot chocolate to cool down was eternal. Christmas day took weeks. The two-hour drive to my grandparents' house took us to a new world. It's all too fast now.
why are people even questioning obesity in america
why is your tea liquidised?
….. Where exactly do you live that the tea isn’t liquid?!?
ENGLAND. WHERE IT IS IN A BAG AND YOU MAKE IT YOURSELF.
like what do you do with already liquid tea? Microwave it?
No it’s sweet tea you drink it cold
WHO DRINKS COLD TEA???
HAVE YOU NEVER HAD ICED/SWEET TEA BEFORE?!?
so i reblogged this from a british person and i’ve been laughing at their tags for 600 years
England, you stole tea from China. You’ve had it a mere 4 centuries compared to their 30+. Don’t play like you’re some kind of authority.
[skeletons ooh-ing]
Shots fired. World War Tea has officially begun.
#INTO THE HARBOR
Englad doesn’t own anything
except that time we owned most of the world
If I stop reblogging this, I’ve gone to the other side.
I have only seen this legendary post in screenshots, so today is a blessed day.
HAH
BOSTON TEA PARTY PART 2
HOLY HELL I FOUND IT
And this is why I love Tumblr
Drinking cold tea is like drinking cold hot chocolate. Sure, you *can* do it, but you *really shouldn’t*
Behold concerned Brit. Chocolate Milk
I only see this on pinterest omg….
OMFG
@riverwriter
BEHOLD THE GREATEST TUMBLR POST
“world war tea” is the best play on words i’ve heard in weeks
this post is a wild ride from start to finish
I haven’t seen this since chocolate milk was added. Is that really just an American thing? You’re missing out guys!
😂😂😂
Cold tea
Cold hot chocolate aka chocolate milk
Cold coffee
I mean, do yall even know about cold water or is that an American thing too???
YOU GUYS DRINK COFFEE COLD AS WELL???
Does the rest of the world not use ice cubes? Do y'all not have freezers? What is going on?
Just thought I’d put my 2 cents in this post, it’s iced tea and not sweet tea. Idk what Americans r smoking 💀
I’m relatively new to Tumblr but it seems like sort of a big deal that I found this post so I’m gonna reblog
Imagine not liking iced tea- actually im gonna go drink some now
I don’t even know what to say…
i drink iced tea every day >:)
Iced tea is brilliant but hot tea is nice too
@dazzling-rubabe
Behold concerned Brit
World War Tea Situation
This post is a relic
Me seeing this for the 14th time in my 5 years on tumblr and seeing more notes and comments but still reblogging it since it’s literally a World Heritage Post
date of origin: November 5th, 2013
