been using “my strings” as a mood/energy indicator like i’m some sick puppeteer’s marionette being thrown into turmoil or joy depending. ie “i’m being held up by 2 strings rn” (bad) “i’m fully strung up” (good)
I'm often sad that I'm not a good artist. That I can't make the songs in my head real, or show the world what my OCs look like, or paint a scene from one of my imaginary worlds so others can go there. I can't even write well enough to help others picture these worlds, characters, and stories.
I suppose they don't need to. But I'd like to have something physical. Something I can look at when my imagination fails me. It hurts to think that one day I'll forget it, and then I'll never see it again.
But I've realized there's something good about it! I can only make bad art. But that means I've had to become comfortable with creating just that! All my drawings are ugly as shit, my texts probably painful to read... but I'd rather make something bad than to make nothing at all. When I'm sad, I've started just drawing in MS paint. I can't even find my pen anymore, so it's worse, cause my penmanship is better than my mouse controls! But it's okay. It looks awful, and it's rarely made with a vision. It's just bad doodles of whatever shapes felt nice to do with my mouse, and whatever I wanted to fill in. For example, recently I felt like drawing clouds, and then I decided to add a dragon. Do I know how to draw a dragon? No. Did I have a reference? Nah, not even worth it. But did I send an ugly drawing of a dragon to my sister, because I was happy I made something? Absolutely!
Idk. I'm yapping again, because I could write diary, but someone can probably relate to this, so I'd rather put it online. Make bad art. Maybe you won't improve... I'm sure I won't. I've been drawing since I was little. I improved over the course of my lifetime as much as some people do in a few years. Maybe I'll continue to improve a little, but I'll never be able to make good art. I'll never really be able to show people the things I see. Every attempt ends in disappointment. It's a lot less painful to accept that I'm not an artist, and just make what I can. So... do that. If you, like me, can't make something where you like the result, just make something where you enjoy the process. Sing your heart out without hitting the notes, draw wonky doodles with no symmetry, paint shapes that don't look like you want them to. Just enjoy making it.
I say even share it if you want! It doesn't need to be good, you can just be proud you made something. And if that makes you uncomfortable, there's no reason you can't make art for yourself. You can even discard it afterwards if it makes you feel better! You can really... kinda... do whatever you want. No one can stop us from creating shitty art, no one has that right :)
Like, I'm bad at math. And a lot of things, really, but let's use math. Oftentimes, when I couldn't solve things in school, it was because I didn't understand the question. Rephrase it and suddenly I can do it. And now? I couldn't even attempt to tell you the root of any number a few days ago, because that doesn't tell me anything. Roots don't have numbers! I still struggle with it, and don't care to learn... but I can make an attempt now that I know what a number's root is meant to be!
It just makes me think... if you took a person, who had never seen or heard words for math, and made them solve "2+2", they couldn't solve it. But that doesn't mean they're bad at addition! They would easily understand it if you gave them nuts or something. They'd know it's more, and by how much, and how to get there. They'd know how to divide the four nuts by two, if you instead told them "make ✌️ this many piles of nuts, with the same amount of nuts" like yeah, easy, they don't know "two", but they can still tell there's a certain amount of fingers. They would probably correctly guess you want two piles of two nuts. But "4/2" well that just doesn't make any sense.
My point is, I wonder how common it is for people to struggle with something, to be "bad" at something, simply because they don't grasp the nieche words well enough to get into it. How many people get written off as incapable, when it's not their fault that others are bad at explaining.
Thinking about how when I used to complain about being tired all the time, asking people to be patient with me, their solution was always "well maybe you should drink coffee"
I was so young when it started, I didn't even know it was drugs, I was just lucky enough to think it's disgusting. But I just came across a post of someone struggling to stop consuming caffeine.
Like, how insane is that? "I don't sleep well and don't have as many spoons as a non-disabled person, please have mercy" "have you considered doing drugs to be more useful?"
Also btw I thought we were supposed to be more chill about sex? The fact we're backtracking on so much is insane. Companies being like "WAAA BODIES! LANGUAGE! WE MUST CENSOR IT ALL" like no we must not stfu
Imagine not being able to handle a bit of cursing. A bit of reality. A bit of feelings. A bit of humans. That's so dumb. Like, I get there's some people who actually don't wanna come across certain things, but is it really that many, that we must wipe the world of everything human? Maybe we should cushion all the pavement too, and run around in marshmallow uniform. How about we just fucking continue with little buttons that say "hey there's gonna be some content here you might not like, wanna continue?"??? That seems like a perfectly adequate solution.
Stop policing the internet, stop policing the public, stop trying to water everything down, that's so boring. It's also straight up unhealthy! We NEED to talk about EVERYTHING. It's important! If you take away our ability to communicate freely, how are we supposed to be authentic? How are we supposed to discuss difficult topics, improve, etc.? Y'all I've been in situations where I was scolded for swearing in public, by people I no longer hang out with. Like, sorry you didn't wanna hear that, I should've asked I guess? But saying "there's kids here" is such a dumb excuse cause 1) they're not listening and 2) why are we even against swear words?? Let kids use their language as long as they understand it, goodness. Idgaf if a kid swears, let them, childhood's fucking tough, they deserve to vent.
Also this is such a messy vent, sorry. I'm really bad at cleaning up / sorting my thoughts. Censorship just pisses me the fuck off.
This is entirely inspired by the most recent reminder that payment companies are putting their slimy fingers into our media, btw. They shouldn't be allowed to control what we get to create and consume. I think one tumblr blog was the one that said it so well, it's like saying you can't have steak cause a baby can't eat it. Or saying you can't have bread cause some people are allergic to gluten. Like ok, then don't give them gluten? Can I have my bread in peace now MF.
Everything is like “QUEER history” and “List of QUEER young adult books” or “Top 10 QUEER movies” and queer this and queer that and for the love of god please just say LGBT.
It’s also the respected academic term?? The acronym isn’t static and it’s usage is varied by things like generational difference, location, and knowledge of the community. Even just in the U.S. in the last few decades the common usage gone from GLBT to LGBT to LGBTQ, to LGBTQA/LGBTQIA/LGBTQIAP/etc (Which, let me tell you as someone who has given presentations in the past using these updated acronyms, are all real mouthfulls), to LGBT+.
Also yes, queer is more inclusive! Especially coming at it from an academic standpoint, people didn’t always use or identify with the terms we use now and you can’t always try to cram them into our modern perceptions of sexuality. We can argue for years about whether a famous historical figure was gay or bisexual or straight and trans or whatever, but if we can all agree that they were somehow queer then using that term allows us to move past the debate and into productive discussion. And not everybody everywhere shares the same terms for sexual and gender identity, or even the same concepts of those things, so queer really is a more inclusive term in a lot of cases.
Like yeah if you’re talking specifically about gay or trans people you can just say gay or transgender, but if you’re talking about more than one identity or someone who doesn’t conform to our perceptions of ‘LGBT,’ or a person or people whose identity you don’t know, queer is just the better word.
every time one of you fools spout about ‘queer is a slur’ a terf laughs because their fucking plan to make that word ‘taboo’ is fucking working you dipshit.
I don’t know if this is just because I’m not American but I’ve never heard queer used as a slur. Ever. Meanwhile gay was the insult in the 2000s here. Everything you didn’t like was ‘soo gay’. Queer wasn’t even a word most of us knew back then.
It just baffled me that people would think an identifier is automatically a slur just because someone uses it to mock someone. If we did that gay would be a slur. Stupid would be a slur. Autistic would be a slur.
The reason people are upset about the word queer is that it’s a unifying term. You can say you’re queer and all people will know is that you’re part of the community. But you can’t say you’re LGBT, you have to say you’re gay or trans or ace. They don’t want you to be ambiguously queer. They want you to say which kind of queer you are so they can decide whether you’re undesirable.
yeah in the 90s and early 2000s kids would call each other “gay” as an insult. But no one ties themselves in knots over whether “gay” is a slur. So yeah, please ffs learn your history.
Earlier this year, Itch.io and Steam had to take down games due to pressure from companies like Mastercard, Visa, Paypal, and Stripe.
Mastercard, Visa, and other payment processors are still targeting material they deem obscene - whether or not it actually is.
We need to start calling again. Even if you don't like NSFW stuff or dislike porn - porn and nsfw is only the start of what they'll go after.
Among Mastercard's list of "high fraud risk" subjects in relation to Mastercard Threat Intelligence are the following:
Vtubing
Adult Content (which they define very loosely)
Tabletop Games
Video Games & their platforms
And likely more.
They're likely targeting political activism now in addition to this, and people who speak out against the companies. Notably now, Ana Valens is repeatedly having her payment processing accounts and platforms taken down or flagged as potential fraud - Buy Me A Coffee, Throne, Ko-Fi, Patreon - and in some cases, customer support from these platforms are citing information that hasn't been put on their platforms when explaining why they've targeted her accounts.
Completely SFW accounts of hers have been targeted, likely due to her speaking up about what the payment processors are doing and because of what she makes as a creative. She is at risk of debanking.
Spoke to a second source familiar with what’s going on with paypro censorship toward me. It seems I’ve been blacklisted among paypros as a c
This happening to her means that other creators - Vtubers, game devs of both video games and tabletop games, creatives, sex workers - are likely at risk of the same. For many, it's already happening to them.
Companies and corporations should not have the power to censor what people say and do, or where their money goes - political power like this should not lie in their hands.
We need to start calling the payment processors again and making noise. Contact people in your circles, talk to people, spread the word. Contact your representatives about censorship laws. Spend less money this holiday season.
This is not just about sex work or NSFW. This is about people's right to decide what they spend their money on, and in some cases, people's right to access their finances. It's about creative expression and whether or not what we make gets censored, about what we get to say online.
Below are some resources that include info on phone numbers to call, email addresses belonging to the offending companies, and how to call. Start making noise again. Focus on the fact that companies should not have this power over what people spend their money on, at all.
TELL VISA, MASTERCARD, STRIPE, and PayPal to STOP
#SaveSpeech
starting Nov 1st we're entering the holiday season, which is a big stress point for big businesses like Mastercard and Visa. Th
I always wag my right leg and it took me some time to realise I was compensating for my lack of tail. But yeah, I need a tail. Until a miracle happens, I suppose leg will suffice :3
That's exactly what my ace butt is into tbh. This might just be what I mean by "I'm a switch"?? I mean it's also cuddles, but that's another discussion. Point is, sometimes I need someone to non-sexually dom me. But also, sometimes you're gonna catch me sneakily manipulating my loved ones, by using evil psychological tactics such as sneaking in an "I'm proud of you" when they tell me about having done something that was hard for them, or show it or whatever. I always feel like I'm scheming, because I'm trying to not make it obvious to the point where they feel belittled or anything. Just enough for it to hit their brain where, next time, it just feels a little nicer and they won't know why. Not sure if it actually works, but the attempt is worth it!
And I'm rambling. But yeah. Normalize this or something, it's fun and healthy and everyone can benefit :)
This is your daily reminder to not be ashamed of yourself.
You, yes you.
I know you're shaking your head internally, thinking of that one "stupid" thing you said or did. Stop it.
"But I'm so cringe" fuck yeah you are. Now stop being mad about it, you're perfect with all your weirdness.
"To be cringe is to be free" someone once said. Words to live by! You're gonna be weird sometimes. Some people are going to think poorly of you sometimes. It's fine. Be weird anyways, it's the only way we even have a chance at a world where we can be accepted despite it.
Go spread some cringe. Go spread some whimsy. For every person that rolls their eyes, there's probably one who smiles at your humanity. Be free.
[This post was brought to you by that one person I saw being all "I don't want to be cringe", so I thought I'd throw a bottle into the sea.]
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