'Tofu in the Wild' is a pretty good band name

Knitter, book hoarder, literally nothing else going on. 30

[smokingrozanov]

Theyre calling me a swagless individual

[the-punforgiven]

god I wish I had a pair of menacing black gauntlets with really sharp fingertip claws I bet it feels good as fuck to have your hands resting palm-down on a surface and then scratch some deep fucking gashes into it as you clench your hand a little closer to a fist when your evil minion delivers some bad news to you

[the-punforgiven]

ohhh fuck yeah, you understand

[fallout-lou-begas]

(trying to vent but has too big of a following to get into any genuinely vulnerable specifics) there is a sadness that overtakes me at times

[graceebooks]

please jacob cast chris fleming as irina it’s not too late

[art3missilver]

Chris Fleming as Irina and Katya Zemo as Galina… there’s still time Jacob…

[no-resolution]

Who would win

Miss Piggy

Angel from Buffy

Remaining time: 4 hours 19 minutes

[materassassino]

It seems like we're just feeding characters to Miss Piggy at this point

[adri-da-durgin]

Maggie Smith advertised for Ozempic on 'The slow down' 🤢🤢🤢🤢 Guess that's one podcast I can stop listening to

[hudconvent]

wheres that post that said shane hollander would be mentioned by name in a drake song

[hudconvent]

all my bitches come in threes like a hat trick

like the metros, hollander on the mattress

[hudconvent]

(yuna hollander on voicemail) hey sweetie its mom. sorry i missed you. though its 8:30 and you should be home by now. anyways give me a call back when you can. theres this guy Drake that just mentioned you in his new song. seems like a pretty big deal, canadian too. just take a listen to it when you get a chance. nothing bad. i actually think it could be quite good for your image. im trying to get in touch with his manager to see if he’ll let you be in the music video. unless youd rather send a cease and desist in which case i’ve got patty on speed dial if thats the route youd rather go. your father says hi. anyways, love you. call me back. bye.

[kaijuerotica]

i need more fics to play with shane boasting about his ability in private vs acting super hockey player humble when he's on camera

[kaijuerotica]

shane texting ilya after a metros game like: im so fucking tired of carrying this entire team on my back like fuck sure we won tonight but i'd have had a goddamn hat trick if stevens hadn't been off fucking sides like at what point is it easier for me to be the only guy on the fucking ice at least then no one is gonna miss my fucking passes

shane 2 minutes later to the media: oh for sure it's a team effort, we all do our best to contribute 🙂

[officialunitedstates]

it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free:  pouring river water in your socks

[evilscum-deactivated20160223]

why would i do that lmao

[officialunitedstates]

it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free

[utopians]

I consider myself a real hater but sometimes you really do go too far with haterism. once I had to break mutuals with someone bc they hated the entire art form of poetry and the final straw was when they started hateposting about soup. The food

[hottestthingalive]

hi op. every time I see this post I hear it in her voice

[gumy-shark]

playing stupid games but im really bad at them so im not even winning the stupid prizes

[fairycosmos]

huge myth that complaining a lot means youre not resilient. every time i bitch and moan my will gets stronger

[brawlite]

i think i should be allowed to quit my job and write gross and smutty fanfiction all day and still pull in a salary. i think it's a reasonable ask.

[brawlite]

some key aspects of this post:

i want to write gross and smutty fanfiction all day

i do not want to turn that fanfiction into traditionally published work

i do not want to be paid for the fanfiction, nor do i want to be paid for the nonexistent fanfiction-turned-traditionally published work

i receive a salary

[brawlite]

i receive a salary

[bleedthebeat]

english major macklemore: i read your granddad’s prose

[ndnbutch]

therapist macklemore: i hear your granddad’s woes

[bleedthebeat]

coffee enthusiast macklemore: i drink your granddad’s joes

[ndnbutch]

body mod shop owner macklemore: i pierce your granddad’s nose

[bleedthebeat]

pizza chef macklemore: i knead your granddad’s doughs

[ndnbutch]

television network executive macklemore: i make your granddad’s shows

[bleedthebeat]

wildlife rehabilitator macklemore: i feed your granddad’s crows

[ndnbutch]

blanket maker macklemore: i knit your granddad’s throws

[bleedthebeat]

sir mackle the more, knight of the great kingdom of seattle: i slay your granddad’s foes

[ndnbutch]

rapper macklemore: i spit your granddad’s flows

[bleedthebeat]

we were sitting across from each other in the living room reblogging back and forth like it was a life-or-death yu-gi-oh duel

[zac-oyama]

manic pixie dream grannie

[zac-oyama]

saw some people saying this was a great meme format, so have a blank one

[what-even-is-thiss]

The reason your snacks are unsatisfying is that you need both carb and protein.

Carb starts your engine, protein keeps it going.

No carb, engine don’t start. No protein, engine dies out fast.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Easy carb add on:

Cookie

Fruit (canned or fresh)

Chips

Piece of bread

Popcorn

Crackers

Easy protein add on:

Nuts

Spoonful of nut butter

Cheese

Roasted chickpea snacks

Glass of milk (dairy or non dairy)

Small canned sausages or similar

[what-even-is-thiss]

Sugar in there.

[what-even-is-thiss]

I am pleased by people messaging me telling me that after adding a carb or protein to their snacks or meals they feel more satisfied all day. Yes, my plan is working. People are getting through their days with less hangry.

[smolwriter]

i went at not writing island and saw all of you there

[starknstarwars]

Me on not writing island, looking at you on not writing island knowing we’ll both be here tomorrow.