Lurker extrodinaire

mostly here to lurk, she/her

[so-much-for-subtlety]

[pingintech]

literally a cartoon bad guy

[disgracefulthings]

Shen Qingqiu: It's so weird that you're looking for a Shen Yuan of your own, especially since you've never been with a guy before

Luo Bingge: Yes I have? I've fucked my general plenty of times

Shen Qingqiu: WHAT?!

Shen Qingqiu, to Shang Qinghua: WHAT?!?!

Shang Qinghua: Oh yeah, I wrote an extra where Bing-ge and my king got down and dirty. I didn't post it obviously, my homophobic fans would riot

Shen Qingqiu: Are you telling me that there is a piece of PIDW THAT I DIDN'T READ?!

Shang Qinghua: THAT IS WHERE YOUR PRIORITIES ARE AT?!

[skeren]

You just know that SQQ after a moment of crisis would double down and demand to know if there was anything ELSE he perhaps failed to publish. The uneasy laughter, the intensity. The TEARS.

SQH: The goal wasn't to have to rewrite several chapters of things I already wrote bro!

LBG: Should I perhaps mention-

SQQ: Make a list.

[happybunnykat]

What if I start a trend called "No one nuts November" where everyone writes about their favorite characters having bad sex that sucks and isn't fun.

[happybunnykat]

Okay so I made a list of 30 (well, 29 actually) prompts I am releasing into the wild. The point of this is that at least one of the participants are not having a good time.

It has 30 prompts for November but feel free to write and post whenever, but please add the tag #No one nuts November or #NoonenutsNovember wherever you post. You do not have to @ or credit this blog if you use any of these prompts.

(Text version under the cut)

1. Safeword

2. Sub/dom drop

3. Loosing intrest halfway through

4. Trying something that doesn't work

5. Medical emergency (bonus points: it happens during bondage)

6. Bad/failed orgasm

7. Should have safeworded

8. "Wait, it's not supposed to hurt?"

9. "Let's never try that again."

10. Sex so bad they break up after

11. Realistic shower sex

12. Incompatible kinks

13. Threw up on that thang

14. Can't get hard/wet/aroused

15. Says wrong persons name during sex

16: ugly crying/overwhelmed

17: "I remembered you being better at this"/"I'm not impressed."/"I've had better."/"You're not hung chill"

18: Allergic reaction/cut off circulation

19. Dirty talk/degradation gets too real

20. Ignored/missed a safeword

21. Random horny confession that kills the mood for the other person/people

22. "No really, that's not going to fit."

23. Fire alarm goes off/interrupted by a third party

24. Pushing themselves into sex they aren't ready for

25. Sex toy gets stuck

26. Only one person having fun/agreeing to boring sex

27. Couple brings in a bad 3rd

28. Sex in a bad location

29. Sex so bad it kills you/one of the participants dies

30. Free day

[ratsquinks]

just another one of those memories that haunts me daily

[kaity--did]

Do you know how hard it is to live with a cat that has the intelligence level of literally like a 3 year old but the pure chaos of a high ranking demon?

He’s learned to open the lazy Susan and won’t stop clawing open the flour and rolling in it like a little chinchilla

[kaity--did]

Criminal charges

[kaity--did]

Hey hey hey HEY

He’s been CRAWLING INTO THE BOTTOM CABINETS to TEAR OPEN THE INSTANT POTATOES and EAT BAGS AND BAGS OF THEM I’m livid but also impressed.

[pigcatapult]

Do you have anything with that kind of texture that he can safely play with? This sounds like an understimulation issue.

[kaity--did]

He’s not playing with it

He’s eating it.

I can tell because the bags are nearly empty except for a few small clumps.

I knew he loves mashed potatoes. I just didn’t know the extent he’d go to to get them.

[kaity--did]

We had him tested and in the course of that vet visit he stole

6 tips

3 of the ear light cover things

Our other cats collar

the ear bud of the vets stethoscope 

several hearts

a plastic glove

the vet techs hair tie

Also yeah he’s fine he just likes to steal

[synebluetoo]

Not guilty by reason of deficiency of other people’s stuff

[kaity--did]

This is his ledge

His ledge is taller then my husband who is 6’2”

I am 5’5”

I have to get the step ladder out once a week and see what Orange Sherbert has taken to his ledge for safe keeping. It’s usually the remote.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

Narratively speaking, ending this saga with the reveal that his name is Orange Sherbert was a masterstroke.

[ardentdelirium]

... how many hearts are in the vet office

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

He just stole mine <3

[howmanyholesinswisscheese]

Biggest fuck-up ever is that people have to pay to become doctors

[howmanyholesinswisscheese]

Like unironically we should be subsidising at least 50% of their educations. What do you mean we have a shortage of doctors we should have surplus. What do you mean they’re being overworked they should be treated like royalty, they can fix human bodies

[howmanyholesinswisscheese]

I don’t care if some of them are only doing it for the money. I don’t care if all of them are only doing it for the money. Intentions don’t matter to the stitches in my nana’s leg or the ten billion other lifesaving treatments we all get at a detriment to their finances and mental wellbeing. Entire cities are kept alive by just a couple thousand of them what are we DOINGGGGG

[naamahdarling]

If we had more, maybe it would be easier to get the shitty ones fucking replaced. The board isn't going to do much to the only endocrinologist in the state who takes Medicaid, you know? But if there were more than, idk, maybe 5? Maybe then?

[landunderthewave]

More importantly if you needed less money and less physical stamina to become a doctor, people with less money and less physical stamina could become doctors, which would increase diversity and improve patient care.

[swimmingblue]

Medical professionals of all stripes are providing key services for people. It shouldn't cost an arm and a leg to get certified.

I can understand why a lot of programs take a long time .... there's a lot to learn, and you want your professionals to be qualified. But that doesn't mean that you need to be wealthy to become a doctor.

[ravabiye]

The doctor shortage is actually mostly because doctors lobby to keep the number of doctors low so they get paid more. Break that particular power of the AMA and watch healthcare get cheaper and better.

[naamahdarling]

Hey so actually what the fuck

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

always some new bullshit in the ocean

[local-demon-in-your-area]

Why is it always orcas or dolphins

Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

worry not ☝️ they're doing coke

[evidently-endless]

the odyssey (2026)

[libraford]

Listen, I'm having fun playing with the ultra patriotic voice, but after a couple years in blue-collar landscaping jobs, you really do need to phrase things like that.

"I'm pretty sure that fella ain't here legally."

"Well, that ain't your business Chip, it's his."

They hate being preached to. If you pull out words like 'gender wage gap' they'll tell you you're brainwashed by the far left media.

"He's one of them transgenders."

"He got freedoms too, Jimmy."

[weshallbekind]

Also, please understand that SO often the real issue these people have is that they just want to say something inappropriate. They don't like being told they can't say "fag", so they'd say it for a reaction, just like a teenager would.

Shut down the conversation without reacting.

"His dick, not mine" will get you much further to shutting that guy down than "well it's really inappropriate to call someone a slur while I'm the job site".

And that's the point. To shut them up. To make them quit saying shit like that. The first one makes him seem kinda weird for caring about what that guy does with his dick. The second one gives him something to fight against and make a big deal about.

[mckitterick]

Code-switching - Wikipedia

code-switching matters for communicating across cultures of all varieties

[teaboot]

Cannot overstate how many flavours of bullshit disguised as political opinion can be shut down by “none of my business” or “don’t be rude”

[luckydreaming]

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

[onceuponakhaleesi]

voidethered:

ask-omnipony:

I don’t really believe this mumbo jumbo

I mean it’s a goddamn hat.

Right..?

The white rose, it symbolizes the unique beauty of all the women who wish not to be with a nice guy such as myse-

I wonder if this works with other kinds of hat…

Nothing ventured, nothing gained…

WHEEEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE THAT’S AMORREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Men of Tumblr are my favorite kind of people…

[jamesbleach]

wait, does that mean?

oh boy…….

[usedtobehmc]

Luckily, this nonsense doesn’t work on girls.

Observe…

[rootbeergoddess-deactivated2017]

IT’S GOTTEN BETTER!

[coffeeandcursewords]

This post is immaculate

[mobians-and-chaos-blog]

It can’t be true.

And it can’t possibly work on motorcycle helmets.

I must test it.

Nothing happening so far…

[strampunch]

HOLY SHIT IT WORKS

[pokemon-chick-1personalblog-blog]

What in the world?

Oh why not? This should be interesting.

Here we go!

Were all mad here in Underland!

What the hell! Never Again!

… Actually …

One more time.

[combthecombel]

Alright, I gotta try this!

Can’t be that bad!

….

…oh my god…

[verityglasses]

ask-gmodsfmrocks:

LOL

This just gets better and better

[fairytail-angel]

This is one of my favourite things to look at

[strampunch]

holy shit this stuff is back

[livia-jones]

The Gravity Falls one though

[nightowlhowell]

i wonder if it works for flower crowns?

here goes nothin-

w HAT THE

DID I JUST-

WHAT THE FUCK

[artfulhobbes]

Okay Clearly something is up.

Hmm… I wonder

I’m sure nothing could possibly…

HOLY SHIT

[clolymoly-deactivated20190507]

IT GOT BETTER

[nukewolf]

I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING SO LONG FOR THIS POST OH MY GOD!!!

[cm8x-insanity]

I wonder what happens when you wear 8 of these at once…

[roses-in-fire]

Never not reblog

[ryrobsessed]

IT’S ON MY DASH. ACTUALLY ON MY DASH.

[syzygy-yzygy]

IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2024?!?!?!!? IT IS ON MY DASH??????

[mysteryshack324-deactivated2024]

It’s so nice to see an ancient relic post be kept alive for the younger generation on this website 😂

[coffeegymnast]

oh thank god i found the unvandalized one

[conservethis]

AHHHHHHHHHHGHHGHHHHHH!!1!1!!!!1!!!!!

[xladyseerx]

Oh my god, this is great.

What a thing to wake up to.

[stuckinapril]

Very true

[quixotic-dragon]

Personal gold stars

[thepromiscuousfinger]

[nottithonus]

Ohhhh I see, so when YOU rearrange someone's guts its "Hot" and "Sexy", but when I do it, it's "medical malpractice" and "the act of a deeply disturbed individual"

[ravioliet]

huge fan of when characters love each other and are closely bonded in an explicitly nonromantic way. however ☝️ i am very much not a huge fan of what happens when characters like this are introduced to fandom

[an-drom-eda]

environmental storytelling

[number1mongrel]

"You hear that? They're saying The Odyssey doesn't even have nobody!"

"They've got nobody in the Odyssey?"

"No I'm saying they don't got nobody."

"Nobody's there?"

"Nobody's not there!"

"So everyone's there?"

"Everybody but nobody!"

[vanglaggle]

"why are so many leftists disabled" maybe it's because disabled people don't really care for the "kill all disabled people" parties but who can say