[ID: Caitlyn, a woman with brown skin and darker brown wavy hair who is wearing a teal royal dress and a flower crown, smiles softly. There is shattered glass around her, the cracks sprouting from her eye. The background image is the northen lights with some trees. /End ID]
I do art sometimes, too.
The Deltarune Community as a whole is too quick to jump to the assumption that just because a character is mysterious that means that they must be evil.
Feel free to debate me but Toby doesn't write 'evil' characters. Characters that fill antagonist roles typically have an understandable motive for doing so. Their stories are fleshed out, and the characters never act the way they do just for the sake of being villainous.
So, seeing sooo many people theorize that Seam is just that, evil for the sake of being evil, it really bothers me. Especially when the discussion surrounding them as a whole is so miniscule compared to other characters.
This also applies to Kris and (pre-chapter 3 & 4) Ralsei. AND also goes as far back as Chara and Alphys in Undertale. Just because you can't fully grasp a character doesn't make them the devil.
Over 100 million children are homeless and/or on the streets.
[PT: Over 100 million children are homeless and/or on the streets /End PT]
That's the numbers estimated back in 2015, and regardless of whether they've grown or shrunk since then, the issue still remains that there are MILLIONS of minors on the streets.
Homelessness and street survival is an intersecting issue for people of all marginalized groups, and that includes the youth.
Homeless youth are very likely to be sex trafficked and targeted by dangerous people to be groomed into criminal activities or otherwise unsafe practices.
Many homeless youth are runaways, usually trying to escape abusive households.
Note for clarity: "Children" and "kids" throughout this post will be referring to teenagers as well, since minors of all ages are grouped together in these statistics.
---
What is homelessness and street children?
[PT: What is homelessness and street children? /end PT]
Homelessness is defined by a lack of stable housing. This includes living without shelter, in a tent, in a car, in a homeless shelter, couch surfing, or using public locations/transport for shelter.
"Street children" are children who spend a majority of their time on the street due to housing complications. Some of them are not considered "truly homeless", because they technically have a house, but this house is usually inaccessible or unsafe for them, and thus they do not reside in it much, if at all. Usually, they only spend the night there, but the rest of their time is spent outdoors.
When discussing the statistics of both these concepts, I cannot neatly discern between them, because so many of the studies use the statistics interchangeably. Street children have very few distinctions anyways, and thus trying to separate the two is usually not beneficial anyways.
---
What are the statistics of homeless youth and street children around the globe?
[PT: What are the statistics of homeless youth and street children around the globe? /end PT]
Around 30 million children in Africa are homeless/on the street.
There is no overall consensus on how many children in Asia (including The Middle East) as an entirety are homeless/on the street, however it is estimated to be quite high, with individual locations being given statistics (Bangledash having 445,000 homeless/street children, India having 11 million, Pakistan having 1.5 million, Indonesia having over 170,000, Iran having anywhere between 60,000-200,000, the Phillipines having 1.5 million, Turkey having 88,000, etc.)
There is also no overall consensus on how many children in the Oceania are homeless/on the street, however Australia estimates around 76,000, and New Zealand estimates around 33,000.
Around 400,000 children in the EU (European Union) are homeless/on the street. There is no overall consensus on how many children in Europe as a whole (not just the EU) are homeless/on the street, however individual countries also have statistics.
Over 1.2 million children in the USA are homeless/on the street. Over 40,000 children in Canada are homeless/on the street.
Around 40 million children in Latin America are homeless/on the street.
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What ways do homeless youth and street children suffer?
[PT: What ways do homeless youth suffer? /end PT]
A higher risk of sex trafficking, rape, assault, and kidnapping.
A higher risk of child labor/slavery.
A higher risk of being poisoned or suffering from oral, throat, or gastrointestinal system damage (as malicious people often put poison, razors/glass/sharp objects, and other dangerous things into the food provided to the homeless.)
A higher risk of sexual, reproductive, urogenital, and gastrointestinal disorders/infections.
A higher risk of respiratory disorders.
A higher risk of nutritional disorders, growth disorders, and starvation.
Higher rates of substance use and addictive disorders.
A higher risk of mental health disorders.
Low or no accessibility to hygiene products or showers/bathing (which significantly increases risks of infections and diseases.)
And, of course, a higher likelihood of death and grave injury, due to weather conditions, untreated disease/injuries, hate crimes, overdose, and/or suicide.
---
What about intersectionality? How does that affect homelessness and street survival?
[PT: What about intersectionality? How does that affect homelessness?. /End PT]
Note: Whenever the discussion of employment comes up, we think it is important to remember that:
1- Unemployed adults can have children, and thus, the children in the equation will be effected.
2- Teenagers can also get employed in a majority of locations, and in many countries even minors younger than that, meaning their incomes could be contributing to housing as well.
The most obvious - being low income often risks loss of housing. Hell, being "average income" doesn't even afford housing anymore for most people, in the current financial crisis. Classism and homelessness go hand in hand, and the refusal to provide for the lower class their basic needs is the direct cause of homelessness.
Being a foster kid. Discussion:
Being a foster kid greatly increases the likelihood of homelessness, due to the foster system being notoriously abusive, and not providing minors with the proper funds, stability, and education necessary to survive in life. In the USA alone, 23,000 people age out of foster care a year. 25%-50% of those who age out end up homeless. Now imagine the statistics of that worldwide, of how many people are ending up homeless the moment they turn 18 (or younger, in countries where legal adulthood begins sooner)?
Additionally, minors will often run away from foster homes, because it is unsafe for them there. They wish to escape the abuse. A depressing fact is that a majority of sex trafficked youth are from foster care, usually runaways who were living on the street to avoid abuse.
(You can read our post about the statistics of foster kids here [link.])
Being disabled. (Note: Some of these statistics leave out emotional, behavioral, personality, or other mental disabilities, and also often leave out "small" physical disabilities, so the statistics may actually be higher if all disabilities were included.) Discussion:
We could not find any overall statistics on the intersection of homelessness and disability in Africa and Asia, unfortunately.
However, disabled people in Africa often suffer forced evictions and are more likely to be impoverished, and we did find statistics on specific locations of Asia (ie; 42% of homeless people [including adults] in Nagoya Japan are neuropsychologically disabled, 15% of homeless people [including adults] in Hong Kong are physically disabled, in South Asia 85% of disabled people [including adults] are unemployed which greatly risks homelessness, etc.)
We could not find any overall statistics on the intersection of homelessness and disability in the Oceania as a whole, however we did find statistics in Hawai'i, Australia, and New Zealand. in Hawai'i an estimated 62% of homeless people [including adults] are disabled. In Australia, an estimated 9.5% homeless people [including adults] are disabled, and 8.9% have an unknown disability status. In New Zealand, 4.1% of homeless people (including adults) are disabled.
We could not find any overall statistics on the intersection of homelessness and disability in overall Europe, however in the UK alone, 35-39% of homeless people [including adults] are disabled (and for comparison, only 20-22% of the overall UK population are disabled.)
In Canada, there is no minor-specific statistics for disability, however 50-60% of the overall homeless population (including adults) are disabled.
In the USA, 19% of homeless K-12 [pre-college] students are disabled (and for comparison, only 14% of the overall USA student population is disabled.)
We could not find any overall statistics on the intersection of homelessness and disability in South America as a whole, however in Latin America, disabled kids are 15% more likely to not attend school (and those who do attend are more likely to drop out), which inherently leads to employment issues down the line (and thus, housing issues) Additionally, 1 of every 5 households in extreme poverty houses a disabled person. And in some locations, people with disabilities are more likely to be unemployed (ie; in Argentina 91% of disabled people are unemployed), earn less money in work (ie; in Mexico and Costa Rica, disabled people earn 20% less than their abled peers), and/or have no insurance (in Ecuador, 84% of disabled people have no insurance), which can cause or exacerbate housing issues.
Being queer. Discussion:
In Africa, we could not find any statistics of the overall intersection of being LGBTQIA+ and homelessness, however homelessness is highly reported by LGBTQIA+ people (especially youth.)
We could not find any statistics of the overall intersection of being LGBTQIA+ and homeless in Asia, however we did find a few for individual Asian locations (ie; in Singapore 20% of LGBTQIA+ people [including adults] experience homelessness, in the Philippines 12% of people who are 15-25 are homeless, In Japan 4 in 10 LGBTQIA+ people struggle with housing, in India there is a hidden housing crisis within LGBTQIA+ people, etc.)
We could not find any statistics of the overall intersection of being LGBTQIA+ and homeless in the Oceania, however we did find some statistics for Australia and New Zealand. In Australia, queer-oriented people [including adults] are twice as likely to be homeless than nonqueer-oriented people, and 1 in 5 trans & gender diverse people aged 18-25 suffered homelessness (unfortunately we cannot find a statistics for people younger.) In New Zealand, 2.6% LGBQTIA+ people who are 15 and above are homeless, and unfortunately there is not a clearcut estimate on minors under the age of 15.
In Europe, 17.39% of LGBTQIA+ people [including adults] have been homeless, with 1/3rd of intersex people and 1/4th of trans people being homeless.
In the USA, LGBTQ+ minors are 120% more likely to end up homeless. They make up roughly 30-40% of homeless youth (and for comparison, only 9.5% of the overall population are LGBTQ+)
LGBTQ+ minors of color have an 83% higher risk of homelessness than their white peers. 44% of Indigenous LGBTQ+ youth, 16% of LGBTQ+ Asian & Pacific Islander youth, 27% of Latinx LGBTQ+ youth, 26% of Black LGBTQ+ youth, and 36% of multiracial LGBTQ+ youth have experienced homelessness.
38% of trans girl youth, 39% of of trans boy youth, and 35% of non-binary youth have experienced homelessness (compared to 23% of non-trans & non-gender diverse homeless queer-oriented youth.)
39% of intersex youth have experienced homelessness.
In Canada, 25% of homeless youth are LGBTQIA2S+ (and for comparison, only 5-10% of the overall Canadian population are LGBTQIA2S+.)
We could not find any statistics on the overarching intersection of LGBTQIA+ and homeless in South America, however we did find a few in specific locations (ie; 30-40% of homeless youth in Brazil, 30-35% of homeless youth in Argentina, 30-35% of homeless youth in Colombia, 25-30% of homeless youth in Mexico, 15-25% of homeless youth in Chile, etc)
Being a person of color. Discussion:
We could not find any statistics on the overarching intersection of race and homelessness in the Oceania, however we did find some individual statistics for Hawai'i, Australia, and New Zealand.
In Hawai'i, 28-50% of homeless people [including adults] are Native Hawaiian.
In Australia, 1 in every 3 Indigenous Australian is homeless.
In New Zealand, 31% of homeless people [including adults] are Māori, and 6.6% of Pacific Peoples [including adults] (and for comparison, 17% of the overall New Zealand population are Māori, and 8% are Pacific peoples.)
We could not find any statistics of the overall intersection of homelessness and being a BIPOC, however we did find statistics in the England, Ireland, and the EU specifically. In England, Black people [including adults] are 4x more likely to be homeless than white people. In Ireland, 15% of homeless people [including adults] are Romanian, and 6% are Black.
In the USA, Hispanic high schoolers are 2x more likely to experience homelessness than white highschoolers. Black highschoolers are 2.25x more likely to experience homelessness than white highschoolers.
Black and Hispanic people [including adults] make up 64% of the homeless population. Pacific Islanders [including adults] have the highest rate of homelessness in the USA. Native Americans [including adults] have the second highest rate of homelessness in the USA.
In Canada, 10-30% of homeless youth are Indigenous and 15.4% are Black (and for comparison, 5% of the overall Canadian population are Indigenous, and 4.3% are Black.)
We could not find any statistics of the intersection of race and homelessness in Africa or South America, unfortunately.
Other. Discussion:
In the USA, 17% of English learners (which are usually immigrants) in K-12 [pre-college] school are homeless (and for comparison, 10% of the overall student population are English learners.)
Being in areas of the world subject to war, genocide, political violence, and environmental disaster. Discussion:
16% of the population in Sudan had to flee their homes due to conflict.
90% of Gaza [including adults] are homeless right now.
46% of homeless people [including adults] in Ukraine became homeless due to the invasion costing them their homes.
Venezuelan immigration has led to a disproportionate amount of homeless Venezuelans in South America.
---
Sources
[PT: Sources /End PT]
General:
Trends and dynamics of homelessness in Hong Kong: evidence from population survey in 2015 and 2021
Housing & Homelessness [link]
Global Homelessness Statistics [link]
Street Children - By Country [link]
Street Children and Homelessness [link]
28 Million Children Homeless [link]
Nearly 50 Million Children Uprooted Worldwide [link]
The Truth of Life in Accra (about Africa) [link]
The Health Profile of Street Children in Africa [link]
Street Children in Asia and the Pacific [link]
Street Children of South Asia [link]
5 Facts About Child Homelessness In India [link]
Understanding the Heart of Homelessness In Hawai'i [link]
Strengthening the European Child Guarantee to address Child Homelessness [link]
Statutory Homelessness in England [link]
Shocking Extent of Family and Child Homelessness in Australia [link]
Our Hidden Child Homelessness Problem (New Zealand) [link]
2023 Census Severe Housing Deprivation (Homelessness) Estimates (about New Zealand) [link]
Nationwide, More Children Live in the State of Homelessness than in Most American States [link]
The "Street Children" of Latin America [link]
Student Homelessness: Quick Facts and Resources for Governors (for the USA) [link]
Disabled homelessness sources:
Challenges and Struggles Faced by Persons with Disabilities Across Africa [link]
Forced Evictions and Disability Rights in Africa [link]
Prevalence of Mental Illness, Cognitive Disability, and Their Overlap Among the Homeless in Nagoya, Japan [link]
Trends and Dynamics of Homelessness in Hong Kong: Evidence From Population Survey in 2015 and 2021 [link]
Disability In South Asia [link]
People With Disability in Australia 2024 [link]
Disabled People Are Disproportionately Affected by Homelessness – And Getting support Feels Nearly Impossible (UK) [link]
Invisible Intersections: Disabilities and Homelessness (Europe) [link]
People With Disabilities in Latin America [link]
Disability In Latin America [link]
LGBTQIA+ homelessness sources:
Global Crisis of LGBTQ+ Homeless Youth: A Call for Inclusive Policies and Accurate Data [link]
Safe Homes for African LGBTQ+ Youth [link]
Experiences Of Conflict, Non-Acceptance and Discrimination are Associated with Poor Mental Well-Being Amongst LGBTQ-identified Individuals in Singapore [link]
2024, Philippines National Survey on the Mental Health of LGBTQ+ Young People [link]
4 in 10 LGBTQ+ People in Japan Still Face Report Housing Barriers [link]
The Hidden Housing Crisis Within India's LGBTQ+ Community [link]
Housing & Homelessness Transhub (Australia) [Link]
Homelessness Australia LGBTIQ+ People [link]
LGBTIQ+ Experiences of Poverty (Australia) [link]
LGBTIQ+ Population of Aotearoa New Zealand: 2023 [link]
Intersections Report: Homelessness (EU) [link]
LGBTQ+ Youth Homelessness (for the USA) [link]
LGBTIQ+ Population of Aotearoa New Zealand: 2023 [link]
LGBTQ+ Youth Homelessness (for the USA) [link]
LGBTQ+ Youth Homelessness & Housing Instability (for the USA) [link]
Intersex Youth Mental Health Report (for the USA) [link]
2SLGBTQ+ and Homelessness (in Canada) [link]
Homeless POC sources:
Paradise for Tourists, a Struggle for Natives: Native Hawaiian Homelessness in the Hawaiian Islands [link]
Out of Sight is Not a Solution (about New Zealand) [link]
Australia National Homelessness Facts [link]
Racism and Racial Inequality Within the Homelessness System Needs Recognition and Action From Government (England) [link]
Homelessness, Race and Ethnicity Research Programme Finds Shocking Evidence of Inequalities (UK) [link]
Census of Population 2022 Profile 6 - Homelessness (Ireland) [link]
Rooted in Trauma: Homelessness in Native Communities (USA) [link]
State of Homelessness 2025 (USA) [link]
Racial Inequalities in Homelessness by the Numbers (USA) [link]
Racism and Homelessness (USA) [link]
Young People of Color Facing Homelessness (USA & Canada) [link]
Aboriginal Homelessness In Canada [link]
Black Communities and Homelessness (in Canada) [link]
Other sources:
Sudan's humanitarian crisis: The facts and figures [link]
Crisis in Gaza: What to Know and How to Help [link]
46% of Those Experiencing Homelessness in Ukraine Lost Their Homes due to Conflict, Report Finds [link]
Four Years of War in Ukraine: Childhood has ‘Moved Underground’, Displacement Continues – UN humanitarians [link]
Ukraine - Street Child [link]
A Latino Learning About Homelessness in Latin America [link]
Venezuela Situation [link]
Venezuelans Sleep in Cars and Under Trees as They Question Where They’ll Live After the Earthquakes [link]
how manual wheelchair users move (explainer for non-users)
frequently when i’m out and about with someone walking, they can’t anticipate what path i will take and therefore they’re in my way pretty frequently. this is fine! i can politely ask them to step to the side. but it makes me think about how little non-wheelchair users understand the way wheelchair users move. as someone who used to walk everywhere, it was an adjustment period for me to figure out how to navigate the world in a chair. here are some things that didn’t occur to me so that you don’t cut off your friend right as they’re building momentum to go up a ramp 😆
for context, i use an active manual chair. the world is very different in a power chair. even among active manual chair users, there is a huge diversity in physicality and strategies for getting around. this is a general guide that i think will apply to most manual wheelchair users. i’m starting super basic and getting more complicated as i go.
———
1. manual wheelchairs are a momentum game. it is very easy to maintain speed and direction. but speeding up, slowing down, or turning, is hard. one thing this affects is if we’re on a wavy sidewalk or other twisty-turny walkway, that is a pain in the ass and i am taking as straight a path as i can.
2. wheelchair users also have to pay attention to the slope and condition of the pavement, so our path somewhere will be different than yours, even if we’re taking the same route to the same place. for example, i usually have to go down slopes straight, not diagonally, to avoid tipping over sideways. one area this affects is crosswalks. many intersections have one curb cut for both roads you could cross, which means i will go down curb cuts to a crosswalk as if i am aiming for the middle of the intersection.
your path in orange, mine in blue. to you it seems indirect, but to me it’s the path of least resistance.
i also will be building speed in the second half of the crosswalk. this is a much easier way to tackle a ramp. if i approach with momentum, i won’t have to drag myself up the slope once i get to it.
3. building momentum and maintaining it is only half of the job. the other half is stopping. manual wheelchairs cannot stop on a dime if they’re moving with any kind of speed. if i tried to stop immediately when going downhill, i would fly out of the chair. so don’t walk right into the path of a wheelchair in motion and then stop! i will have to turn to the side very quickly and hope i don’t tip. i can’t tell you how often parents pushing strollers will stop their stroller directly in my path and then get offended when i am alarmed and turn sharply to avoid hitting their child. from their perspective, i was being careless and going “too fast.” in reality, normal walking speed takes a few feet to slow down from and stop.
4. in terms of slope. see this street in san francisco?
i can’t go down this street, it’s way too steep. i would give myself friction burns on my palms trying to control my speed. if i was in a situation where there was no avoiding this street, like in an emergency, i would be breaking my straight-slope rule and zig-zagging in the middle of the road.
this would require several zig-zags back and forth, more than the four that i drew. i also could not go up this road other than with this method. up or down, i risk tipping over sideways if i’m not careful.
4. in a similar vein, consider terrain. slopes with grass or carpet take huge amounts of energy to get up. this grassy hill isn’t insurmountable, but it would take me like thirty minutes to get up there. honestly i would probably go backwards, because it’s easier to pull yourself up a slope than push yourself.
other types of terrain can be completely immobilizing, though. this decorative gravel pathway is beautiful, and inaccessible to me. my casters (front wheels) simply will not go through that.
5. in terms of walkways and obstacles. if there’s a deep gap in the pavement lined up the way i’m going, and it’s, say, an inch wide, that is an obstacle for me. my casters are one inch wide, and my back wheels are an inch and a half. i’ll get stuck in it like a train on a track.
i have to straddle this, even if it means being too close to the middle of the sidewalk and preventing us from walking side by side.
similarly, if a crack is greater than an inch high, i’m gonna wheelie over it. at two inches, i have to. a wheelie may require a change in speed, either faster or slower depending on the person.
i have 4 inch casters, so a lip as little as 2 inches will stop me in my tracks. a lip as little as one inch, hit with any speed, can knock my casters out of square. casters can get knocked out of alignment pretty easily depending on the chair. i’d rather not have to pull out an allen wrench and a level, so i’m gonna wheelie.
this happened when i hit about a 1.5” lip on a pavement crack when i was going downhill at maybe 3mph.
6. putting it all together. see how diagonal this crack is?
this is another situation where i have to go straight relative to the slope. because that crack is wide, it will probably also require a wheelie. if i tried to approach that straight relative to the sidewalk, my left caster would get up the slope, i’d wheelie, then my right caster would land in the crack. i have to go this way.
(also lol at the trash can blocking the curb cut)
these are just a few things to keep in mind when walking about with a wheelchair user! ofc the best strategy always is just to listen when someone asks you to move out of their way 😆 but i think being able to anticipate movement a little better will help it seem less random. feel free to ask any questions!
isn't it insane though how schizophrenic people are viewed as violent and dangerous by the majority of society when in reality schizophrenic people are nearly 14 times more likely to be on the receiving end of violence than to be the perpetrators...
1) schizophrenia hardly ever causes people to be violent so schizophrenic people aren’t more likely to be violent than anyone else
2) schizophrenic people’s autonomy is often taken away from them because of their schizophrenia. because the authorities and mental healthcare providers often automatically assume schizophrenic people to be violent, they’re more likely to immediately react to schizophrenic people's symptoms with violence, without even knowing for sure said schizophrenic person was going to be violent. all of this causes schizophrenic people to be more likely of being victims of violence and abuse. schizophrenic people also have a harder time getting out of abusive households because of the risk of their autonomy being taken away. if a schizophrenic person’s relative or partner is abusive, often the schizophrenic person has no way out of the situation, both because our disconnect from reality can result in us being easier to manipulate, and because the system is built in a way that it takes away our autonomy because of our condition.
also schizophrenic people and psychotic people in general, please do a lot of research before picking a provider for your own sake, and if they try to treat your psychosis in a way that you think is harmful then don’t hesitate to switch providers. your safety and wellbeing should be a priority over everything else.
I need to add that if you're in any kind of healthcare, you need to listen to your schizophrenic patients! You should believe them when they talk about their life. Your assumption should not be "anything bad this person says is a delusion." You have a duty to care for your patient, not protect your patient's abusers.
DuckDuckGo, Signal, and NordVPN all stated they may stop serving Canada if Bill C-22 passes.
Here is a petition against Bill C-22, which I believe can be signed by both citizens and residents of Canada (it will tell you when you fill it out).
Bill C-22 requires digital service providers to retain metadata on Canadians for up to a year and disclose it to authorities, who can request it without an individual being under suspicion or investigation. Even with planned adjustments to the bill to require encryption, this still represents a massive security issue. It also represents a huge privacy concern and raises concerns over Canadian protections from unreasonable search and seizure.
once again linking my art fight now that I'm out of burnout... if YOU want fanart of your OCs in my style (seen above) my art fight is leonkennedy_emostyle 😼
pedestrians don't seem to realize how exhausting using a wheelchair is, both manual and powered. i had to wheel around a hospital today with several ramps i had to go up and down multiple times, and even with my smoov i ended up with shoulder and chest pain and deep exhaustion.
people look at wheelchair users and think "well you're sitting down all the time that doesn't take effort" no actually it does. pushing a manual chair takes a lot of fucking effort, especially without a power assist. repetitive stress injuries are a huge problem manual chair users encounter all the time. going up hills and ramps is so deeply fatiguing.
this doesn't just apply to manual chair users btw. power chair usage can also be really exhausting, especially for people with complex seating needs. going over bumps and cracks can trigger many symptoms such as spasticity, pressure sores are common, even just sitting upright can be exhausting for many people.
basically don't assume using a wheelchair takes 0 effort, it really really does. getting to "sit down all the time" doesn't mean it's easy.
im gonna need you able bodied motherfuckers to stop comparing the extreme pain and exhaustion that comes with using a manual chair to being in a car for 8 hours. not even remotely the same thing.
Pro tip! If u have OCD, that genre of advice stuff that's like "if youre questioning whether youre X, you probably are" is not for you and is in fact poison!!!
Something I have been thinking about a fair bit recently is how important it is to know how to talk to people with dementia, and how so many people don't actually have any real awareness of how to do that, so, off the top of my head, here are a few things that might help:
the way you frame your conversations is important! People with dementia are often, particularly at the earlier stages, very much aware that their memory is getting worse. This can make them very anxious, which isn't fun for anyone, least of all them. One of the most common things that people say to people with dementia is "do you remember ___?" as a way to try and prompt their memory. This feels helpful, but it's not. Because hey, in all likelihood, that person does not remember ___, and being confronted with this fact is not going to make them feel great. Remember that they literally have a degenerative brain disease; they're not going to suddenly regain their memories because you tested them. Instead, try talking about your own memories. Tell them what you remember. Tell it like a story. If they remember, then they can join in. If not, then hey, it's a nice story.
don't correct them if they say something wrong. Their version of reality is not going to be the same as yours. That's just a given. My grandma is often convinced that she's just on a very long holiday in a nice hotel, and that her dad is waiting outside in the car. I'm not going to tell her "uh, actually, you're in a care home and your dad died 50 years ago," because who's that going to help? Quite literally no-one. It'll just confuse her more, and she's already confused enough. Even if the person is saying something that's making them anxious - a common one is believing that people are stealing from them, or that someone is being unkind to them - then it's easier to try and distract them by trying to talk about something that you know makes them happy, rather than to outright tell them that they're wrong. Being consistently told that they're wrong can make them react defensively; they're not children, and they (usually) know it. It's just easier not to get into a confrontation.
get used to repetition. Don't get frustrated when you have the same conversation 25 times in two minutes. It's going to happen. For them, it's the first time you've had that conversation; they won't understand why you're angry at them for asking a question. It's completely normal to feel frustrated, but the onus is on you not to make it their problem. My grandma's short term memory is, charitably, about 3 seconds long. A conversation with her at this point is like rehearsing for a play; I know her lines, and I know mine. That's just how it is. She gets just as much joy out of telling me that she likes my cardigan for the 86th time as she did the first time she said it. People with dementia are not able to retain the information or the memory of that previous conversation; reminding them that you've already answered their question is just going to confuse and upset them.
don't take things personally. They might say things that are unkind. They might say completely inappropriate things. Again: their brain is deteriorating. It is a medical condition. They're not becoming bad people, or showing their 'true selves' to be evil and rage-fuelled. It's a combination of the fact that they're living in a perpetual state of confusion, which can lead to frustration and anger, and the fact that their ability to process and respond to information is affected by the dementia itself. If they say something cruel to you, you just have to take it on the chin and recognise it as a symptom of a disease that they're not able to control. Step out of the room for a moment if it gets too much. I've been fortunate in that my grandma has never experienced this symptom, but it's very common, and it's no reflection of you, or them.
don't treat them like children. My grandmother is 92 years old and she will look at you like you're the bane of her life if you try and tell her what to do, or use baby talk. Keep your sentences short and clear to avoid confusion, but don't ask them if they need you to clean their wittle fingies.
try and avoid open-ended questions, especially ones that involve memory recall, like "what did you do on the weekend?". My grandma was an absolute queen at making shit up when people asked her that, because she couldn't remember a damn thing, and she never liked to admit that she couldn't remember, because it made her stressed and anxious. "I picked up leaves" was her personal favourite, for some reason. I used to just tell her about my weekend instead, and sometimes she would joyfully tell me (completely falsely) that she also went to the shops, and that was much less stressful for her; she wasn't actively trying to come up with an answer to cover for her own lack of memory, and instead felt like she was part of the conversation on her own, equal terms.
most importantly: don't try and pull them back to reality. The best way I've learnt to communicate with anyone with dementia is to enter theirs instead. Sometimes, this is referred to as 'validation therapy'. It's about acknowledging that the reality of someone with dementia is as real to them as your reality is to you, and you're not going to be able to 'reorient' them to your version of reality, because they don't have the short term memory or ability to retain information that would enable that. Put simply: if my grandma asks when my uncle is going to come home, I gain nothing from (correctly) informing her that he's dead. This just upsets her, because every time she hears it, she's receiving the news of his death for the first time. That sends her into a spiral of grief and anxiety that remains even after the memory of his death has vanished again. Instead, I just tell her that he'll be home after lunch. She nods, accepts it, and we're both happy. My uncle is still dead, but in her world, he's going to come home soon. It's a way of having empathy for the person with dementia, and acknowledging that your reality, or objective 'truth', is not more important than their wellbeing.
Godspeed, and best of luck to anyone who needs this advice, because I truly wish that no-one did.
I found, with my mom, that gently reorienting her often worked and seemed to make her feel less stressed. We'd be talking, and she would clearly be trying to ask me about my life while also, visibly and obviously, trying to figure out which of her relatives I was.
So I'd mention something about where I lived, or the names of my children, frequently enough that she could orient on it. Those were unique details that would place me for her, without her having to try to track everything that was going on.
It didn't work as well towards the end of her life, but in the first few years, the way she'd relax and get to have a real conversation where she knew who I was, as long as I kept orienting her every few minutes, it worked really well. The conversations often still looped, but she didn't know that. All she knew is that she was talking to me, about my kids, and she knew who we were and felt like she knew what was going on. It meant she got to have many conversations with me that were pleasant for her and gave her some normalcy.
there is a screen reader / magnification program that is the only one the low vision clinic knows of with these features and it is $650 Canadian Dollars behind specific approved vendors that require you to be geographically close to them and get government approval of a degree that I am only just now reaching after being visually impaired for going on seven years. I feel normal about this
if you can code a program that does any or all of the following:
Magnifies a display beyond standard options with keyboard / mouse movement inputs or voice commands,
Can read text on the screen,
Has different color filter options for text / background distinction,
Can change and magnify the cursor beyond standard amounts,
Works on Windows or more than just Windows,
Has a keyboard echo (says the character you've pressed on the keyboard out loud)
... there is a genuine, GENUINE need for you to code this and put it at a more accessible price point than $650 Canadian Dollars which I also just learned is a SUBSCRIPTION FEE AND NOT EVEN PERPETUAL. if you are reading this and able to code I am begging you. would genuinely change lives
I’ve been inactive for about three whole years and I’m reaaally curious how many of us are (still) into the RA and/or Brotherband series/fandom (especially here on Tumblr).
My main acc was @honeyinmycoffee. You probably do not remember me, though.
If you do, how have you been?
Much love,
Robin
PS. Should I start posting again, mostly incorrect quotes?
[ID: The rocks, going from left to right are a rounded diamond shaped rock, a squat rectangular rock with scratches on it, and an ovular, smooth rock. /End ID]
gummygunk
prguitarman
jacobvanloon
kianamaiart
turnnoffyourmind
dailybridgerton
ellievsbear
