[art-of-idleness]

[pankendev]

there are places in the world today that are experiencing 40°C for the first time in recorded history. of course there's no way to know whether chucking billionaires into volcanos will appease the sun god but i feel we're doing the scientific method a disservice if we don't at least try

[cipheramnesia]

My dad said to me, son, you can be anything. And I said really dad? Even a woman? And then my dad said no son of mine is growing up to be a woman without knowing how to give a proper blowjob. I spent years of training intensely until my blowjob sensei agreed I was ready, but just as I was about to receive my blackbelt, the blowjob student he had kicked out of the dojob for pride and cruelty returned, and sucked down the master with a single blow. And this is what brings me to your psychiatric practice, Doctor. You have changed, but I know you were the one who slew my master, and now you will meet your fate.

[cipheramnesia]

He thought he could best me with his skills, little did he know I can take down seven with one blow.

[medievaljournalist]

lol yeah go ahead try and attack me *notices i left my dragon scale talisman of immortality at home* or maybe lets not be too hasty

[aliceinmadnessland]

Chappell Roan could hit a paparazzi with her car and I still wouldn't give a fuck.

[bonivers]

i haven’t stopped thinking about this tweet for days

[targetedknowledge]

[campsis]

Eden Kalif, Good Cats

[heated-blanket]

they’re foreclosing on my mind palace

[aurpiment]

“It’s easy to assume”: someone’s misconception is about to be amiably corrected

“It’s tempting to assume”: someone’s assumption is about to be criticized

“It’s comforting to assume”: someone’s assumption is going to be read for filth

[hussyknee]

The most basic, intractable fact about mental illnesses is that you simply cannot willpower your way out of them. The only exceptions to this rule are the ones I have, which continue to disable me due to lack of determination and other grave personal flaws

[akashicrecord]

You have turned this glory hole into a hole of dishonor and you must leave immediately

[sorryiwasasleep]

the kids in hsm2 shouldve unionized that country club

[maxxie-or-smth]

maybe it's time to try religious psychosis

[bobbole]

Carrie Liao, Alien visitor

[segamascott]

[pissvortex]

Imagine how bad that first post-nut clarity hits for a freshly married mormon