It is simply not fulfilling to enjoy media in the height of its popularity. You need to show up so late to the party that everybody else is gone and the hosts are asleep so you can rummage through their trash for chip dip and stale hors dāoeurves to eat alone in the dark like a dirty little raccoon secret
Itās early in the summer, about the end of June you are finally able to take a weekend off of work, the hospital you work at never gave up on you through the weekends, especially during summer weekends where most accidents occur, which is specifically the season you regret taking your medical degree.
Standing in your apartment around 8 in the evening, struggling to correct your eyeliner in front of the long full body mirror in your bedroom, you curse under your breath for fucking up your eyeliner again before putting down the pencil and smudging the stupid line you already put on your lash lines.
You applaud yourself, even though you sucked to begin with, it didnāt turn out half bad. Or at least thatās what you convince yourself.
Your phone buzzes onĀ your nightstand which makes the music youāre already playing on your phone go quieter, you turn while singing the missed part of the song youāre playing, you look at the screen, itās Hoseok, your high school best friend who ended up being your really close friend even after all these years of studying abroad and being busy with work, your parents became close with his since they already love him.
You slide down the notification.
āyou better be ready when im thereā
āu know I hate waiting in the carā
āand you always take so long so pls be readyā
You were going to the club to celebrate the last weekend of your friend Yoongi being single, you had already chose a short flattering, but very revealing dress, barely covers your lower ass, silver that fully exposes the tattoo on your spine of a long flower that ends on the nape of your neck, your dress barely covers your lower back, with silver high heels.
You rarely get a chance to dress up because of your time consuming work that robbed all the fun out of your life, not long ago you started balancing work and having an actual life, you and Hoseok visited different clubs and went on so many hiking trip together through the past year which resulted in you making a new friend to add to your group, Hoseok is such a social butterfly and a comfortable person to be around.
Your lips curve in a soft smile, well heās right, no matter how hard you try to manage your time, youāre always late, your fingers automatically hover over the screen to reply.
āyes sir.ā With a salute emoji.
You get up and take off your pajama set and get into the small dress you chose, you loosen your big curls and make the final touches, youāre looking perfect and you knew it, tonight will be solely about having fun, Yoongi is actually getting married!
Your phone rings after a few minutes and you know itās Hoseok, you answer and inform him that youāll be down in seconds, you take your purse and put in your sample size perfume, phone and lipstick, before getting in your not comfortable very high heels, you turn off the lights and make your way out of the building.
You spot his fancy Porsche parked right in front of the entrance, you roll your eyes when you see him walk out the car and make his way towards you.
āLook at you.ā He holds his hands out to hold yours. āYou look like a disco ball.ā He spins you and whistles, which makes click your tongue and look at him with your free hand on your hip.
āA beautiful disco ball.ā He elaborates, he looks good too, wearing a gray suit with the first 4 buttons of his off-white shirt unbuttoned. You hug him and give him a soft kiss on the cheek. āLetās get going weāre already late.ā
Flaws and all, I love āem all, to me youāre perfect
The moment you walk into the club, Hoseok walking behind you with his hand on your back, slowly guiding you to the table youāre friends booked, place already packed with people. And once Taehyung spots you he gets up with his drink in his hand. āFinally.ā He starts dancing, slowly making his way towards you, which makes you sway your shoulders, dancing with him and laugh at him, clearly heās already drunk.
He hugs you in his big arms and kisses your temple softly. āThere you are, I hope you enjoyed the hike you didnāt invite me to.ā He says in a sarcastic note making you nudge him in the chest.
āCome on, it wasnāt that fun any way.ā You say subtly into his ear which he smirks and takes another sip of his drink, he hugs Hoseok before both of you approach your table, you hug Yoongi and he hugs you back. āItās really happening huh?ā You rub his back.
āIām really putting my dick in jail.ā He laughs, handing you his drink, which you donāt think twice before sipping it.
āCome on, weāre getting a round of shots!ā Seokjin moves a seat away to give you space to sit, his hair grew longer than you could ever remember, he pushed it back but a few strands manage to slip on his forehead.
āYou guys are already drunk?ā You exclaim before taking a shot glass from him, you all stand up and clink your shots together.
āTo putting Yoongiās dick in jail!ā Jungkook says loud which makes you all repeat after him. āTo putting Yoongiās dick in jail!ā You swallow the shot and cringe immediately at the bitter taste, which makes you chase it with the nearest glass of juice you find on the table.
āHey. Y/N, letās dance.ā Jimin puts his hand on your back, you shake your head immediately in refusal. āI need more alcohol.ā
Jimin ends up pulling Taehyung to the dance floor, you take your seat between Yoongi and Seokjin, Hoseok already headed to the bar to grab you both drinks.
āThey finally let you off work?ā Seokjin asks out loud for you to hear him, you nod and straighten your back. āI didnāt take a weekend off since October.ā You pout, he nods and take a sip of his drink. āYouāll figure it out soon, itās always difficult in the beginning.ā
You and Seokjin met at the bar near the hospital you work out, heās a pediatrician resident in his 4th year, you never knew he worked at the same hospital until you met him at the bar, it was only Hiās and Helloās at the beginning of your friendship, but he made his way into the group when he actually showed up when you needed him, heās a bully sometimes, which makes you laugh even when you force it out, but heās the sweetest.
āAnd you?ā You turn to Yoongi. āHow are you not panicking?ā
He rolls his eyes at you and puts his drink down, āTypical Y/Nā
Studying abroad has definitely made you a bit more open minded than usual, itās not that you refuse relationships, youāre totally not against them, but itās just not your thing. Youāve never been through a full experience to love and be loved, but you never craved it. Back while you were studying, your week nights were devoted just for studying and focusing on your career, but on the weekends, you had to spend them out, partying, clubbing, having flings with a couple of people, you liked your lifestyle and you still enjoy it being like this.
You nudge Yoongi in his arm and add. āYouāre so brave for doing this, Iām happy for you.ā
āI would totally agree with Y/N, I would panic.ā Jungkook shrugs, which makes you high five him.
āCome on.ā Seokjin scoffs. āJungkook wants to pound every pussy in Seoul before getting married.ā
āWord.ā Hoseok agrees without even getting the context while putting your drinks down, Jungkookās mouth falls as if he was offended. āHeās not wrong.ā Hoseok shrugged.
Not long after, youāre not completely drunk, but drunk enough to get on the dance floor with Taehyung and Yoongi, youāre sandwiched between them, the three of you dancing to the loud beat of music, the dance floor is crowded as hell, people making out and kissing in the corner of the club, some even grinding against each other, the place smells like a mix of perfume, cologne, and hormones.
Seokjin joins you eventually and starts dancing with you, you laugh at how stupidly drunk he is, his cheeks flushed red and his eyes barely kept open. You lean closer to his ear. āIām gonna go grab a drink.ā
You go over to the crowded bar, you hardly find a place to stand next to man waiting for his drink, you stumble on the small step you didnāt see, which you curse under your breath for not paying attention, you barely bump into the manās elbow, you out of habit apologize while panicking. āIām sorry.ā
āItās okay.ā He said, you could feel him looking down at you while youāre checking if your heels are okay, you shrug it off once it looks okay, you walk closer to the bar while leaning your elbows on it, waiting for the bartender to notice you.
āAre you okay?ā The gentleman asks, right until now you realized you donāt know who this deep voice belongs to, you turn to look at him, sharp nose, a charming smile with a soft dimple on his cheek, small orbs that stare right into yours.
You visibly gulp and nod, studying his face and features more, he even dares to shoot a sweet smile at you. He knows he has a beautiful smile and he uses it as move to make.
And at this moment you realize youāve been quite for an uncomfortable amount of time.
āYeah. Iām alright.ā You nod, you know itās not that hot in June, but youāre sweating. He turned his face to the bartender and you notice his soft jaw and long neck, his long fingers wrap around the glass, youāre pretty sure he said something, but you were busy staring at his buff arms making their way to his back pocket to locate his wallet, your eyes chase every single movement he makes, and with his hands locating his wallet in his front pocket, your eyes fall on his thick thighs, where did this man come from?
āWhat can I get you?ā The bartender asks, immediately making you snap out of your thoughts, you look up and clear your throat. āIāll have a martini.ā
An awkward silence and tension builds between you and the man right next to you, you want to say something but you donāt want to sound stupid, you choose to ignore your thoughts and just take your phone out of your purse and act occupied, you look very stupid when youāre deleting old pictures on your phone.
āY/N?ā He says, which makes your eyes widen and you almost choke in your own breath, you look at him again, Do you know him?
āIām sorry?ā You answer surprisingly fast, which makes him take a sip from his drink and laugh. āYour phone case is a pass card.ā
Youāre confused for a second, still trying to process what heās saying, youāre drunk, but not drunk enough to be this stupid and slow and thick?
He can easily read your face and he shoots you another one of his smiles, he knows what heās doing.
He gives you a look, which clearly means āCan I?ā, And you shrug telling him to elaborate. He grabs your phone and flips it over still remaining in your hands, which reveals your see through phone case, that you have your hospital pass card inside it, showing your full name in a large font.
āAh this.ā You immediately turn your phone back, you hope he didnāt see too much, like where you work or whatās your job. You look back at him to see him staring right into your face, studying your features too.
āIām Namjoon.ā He reaches his hand out to shake yours, and you donāt hesitate at all to shake his hand back and feel his long fingers squeezing your hand ever so softly, both of you shaking hands and not letting go for a few seconds.
āIām sorry for catching you off guard.ā He grins, which makes you feel like something is pinching you in your stomach. āBut you have your pass card on full display, which if itĀ makes you feel better, I just saw your first name, nothing else.āĀ He adds, like he knew what you were concerned about.
āY/N!ā Jungkook calls from behind, which makes you pull your hand away from Namjoonās in the speed of light, your weird attitude doesnāt go unnoticed by him, he looks back at Jungkook and turns back to face the bar and take a sip of his drink.
āCome on, weāre popping the champagne.ā Jungkookās hand sits respectfully on your upper back, you nod and look back at him. āIām waiting for my drink, Iāll follow you in a second.ā although your drink has been sitting in front of you for the past few seconds, Jungkook is too drunk to notice and he heads back to your table, Namjoon turns to look at the sight of Jungkook joining the rest of the boys around the table.
āYour boyfriend?ā He asks, which you think is a little bit over the line.
āHim?ā You cringe. No offense to Jungkook, but you and him are just friends, you almost ended up sleeping with him long time ago and thankfully it didnāt happen, youāre just friends, and youāre smart enough to know itās wrong if you did it. āAbsolutely not.ā You enunciate it.
Your fingers wrap around your drink and you know itās your turn to make him look. āNice to meet you Namjoon.ā You clink your glass with his thatās resting on the table, and you turn and move your hair to the side to expose your tatted back to him, you walk towards the table and join the boys for the rest of the night.
Your night has come to an end, youāre leaning against the wall outside the club with Jimin waiting for Hoseok to bring his car, your heels in your hands and Jiminās jacketĀ on your shoulders, muffled music from inside still in your ears, youāre done for the night, youāre not completely drunk, but you started having a strong headache minutes ago, you need to rest, shower and go to sleep.
You laugh at Taehyung teasing Jungkook and you join Taehyung, Jungkook ends up flipping Taehyung off and sending you a fly kiss which is way over you when you see behind him Namjoon, walking out of the club with what seems like his friends.
Ironically, you can hear the song āSatisfactionā played from the inside.
Push me, and then just touch me.
Till I can get my satisfaction.
He had his suit jacket in his hands, he was rolling his shirt sleeves slowly up with his long fingers.
Are you drooling?
He sits on a near bench and just man spreads his legs, his hand taking out a pack of cigarettes from his jacket, he takes one out and puts it in between his plump lips, clicking the lighter a couple of times while shielding the flame with his other hand before it goes to his hair and runs his fingers through it, he looks around and notices you staring at him, youāre not even blinking. He hallows his cheeks while taking a drag and blows out a huge cloud of smoke.
This man walked out of a fucking book!
He doesnāt hesitate to show you his dimple one last time before winking at you, your breath hitches and your hand goes to your stomach, thereās a knot that you feel only he can make it feel better, youāre sweating more than usual, and you can feel the heat between your legs getting uncomfortable.
āDrive safe Hoseok.ā Jin opens the passenger seat and looks at you, you snap out of your thoughts and turn towards the car, āDonāt forget our dinner tomorrow.ā He adds.
You had already planned on a celebration dinner for Yoongi too, this time a little more formal considering some of the boys are bringing along their girlfriends. You nod and look one last time at Namjoon. You secretly wish you took his number or had a drink with him, but youāre not a girl who makes a first move, for your prideās sake, itās always guys making a move on you.
āText me when you get there safe.ā Yoongi leans his palms on the roof of the car, you get into the car and buckle your seat belts.
āGood night.ā You smile at him. āIāll see you guys tomorrow.ā You wave to the rest of the boys and they wave back, you turn to look at that bench again, Namjoon mustāve left because you canāt locate him, you lean your head back into the car seat and your hands move to the air conditioning, youāre on fire!
Hoseok didnāt drink throughout the night since heās driving, he did take a couple sips of whine, but heās not drunk at all.
Doesnāt take that long to get back to your place, you undress and get into the shower and clean off your makeup, you take a bottle of water out from the fridge and sit in your living room.
The images of this man is haunting you, you only know his name and his face, you donāt know what he does, where he lives, how old is he?
You look at your phone and open up your social media, shuffling between the apps and searching āNamjoonā. You donāt even know his last name, he could use a picture thatās not his.
Your friends admired that you were talented in finding peopleās accounts, especially when one of the men had a secret crush on a girl, you would help them find her social accounts by trying to search in different ways.
And you did manage to find an instagram account, the username matching his real name, the picture was taken on a beach, a figure of a tall man with his back turned to the camera, it could be him after all
You open the account but itās clearly not active, following 120 accounts and followed by 70, and only 1 photo uploaded. But the account is private.
You put down your phone in frustration and sigh, you end up gulping your water and going to bed. Itās just a one time thing, you wonāt see him again.
Or at least thatās what you think.
Itās the moment he walks back to his house when he feels the heavy weight of the world on his shoulders, he stands in front of his apartment door, debating whether he should go inside or just go crash at his parents.
No, no. They donāt have to know.
Kim Namjoon, the successful man who went out of the box and did the extraordinary, chose an out of the box job, with a high degree. Quickly managed to pull his life together and marryāwell not the love of his life, itās the woman he got used to being around.
Married for 3 years and not once did he feel that this marriage is about them, it was about her and only her.
First year was low key not that bad but not that good either, every married couple have fallouts, but he assumes that they both have to compromise, but only he had to compromise. She wants everything done her way, she wants him to eat what she eats, go where she goes, not out of love, but out of habit of controlling people around her.
Yet he was sweet and considerate, she travelled to a different province to live with him away from her parents, maybe thatās why sheās acting like this, sheās probably homesick, he did everything he could to make it up to her, he bathed her with love and gifts and money. He wanted to show her the world quite literally, but she just refuses every act of love, even denies his touch in front of their family, never did she ever like a photo he posted of both of them, she never left a comment which he really craves. He wants to show people he loves her.
Even when he once tried to surprise her on their one year anniversary, booked her first class seats to New York on new years eve, she completely rejected and never even said thank you. Goodness, she never even gifted him on his birthday.
Second year things went significantly downhill, when they found out sheās pregnant. Planning for kids was never on the table, not that they donāt want kids, but this kid is totally unplanned for. He so desperately wants to be a dad, but heās not sure how she feels about him, or most importantly how he feels about her. Theyāre married just by name.
She made up an excuse for being a tough sleeper and she wanted her own bed, he gave up the master bedroom to give her her own space, and moved out to the couch at first when he thought it was temporarily or short termed.
3 Months, 4 months..
9 Months passed, she gave birth and came up with another excuse of the baby crying at night, he had flights to catch in the morning, she doesnāt want to mess up his sleep. As if she cares.
A man has his own desires, he tried different ways, kissing her, touching, even suggesting movie nights to show her something that might make her aroused, none.
He adores his son, thatās whatās keeping him sane at the moment, although when he comes back late from work, baby Jay mostly gets ready for bed by that time. Play time with daddy is not allowed, he canāt even love his son the way he should.
His son turned 2 in their third year of marriage, he can now talk , walk, even run. And baby Jay doesnāt seem to like mommy as much as he likes daddy, although he spends most of the weekends in Ilsan with her parents, but heās still attached to his daddy.
It was 2 in the morning, standing in front of his apartment door, the debate tonight is taking longer than usual, especially when he saw you, the astonishing lady who fucking screams his type, outgoing, gorgeous, attractive, social hence your large group of friends.
He searches his pockets before fishing out his ring, puts it back on his left ring finger, before pressing the pass code on the door, the lights are.. On?
He makes his way inside his flat and locks the door behind him, āWhere have you been?ā She storms out from the guests room, a huge ugly frown on her once he thought was a pretty face.
āIām sorry, I went out with guys from work.ā Namjoonās job kind of restrained him when it came to having friends, he did have some, but they ended up getting busy with their regular jobs and life, it became easier to hang out with his co workers because they got off work together, plus they click and get along really well.
āDo you know what time it is?ā
When he looks at her, he swims in a deep pond of thoughts in his head, he canāt even remember the last time she showed him skin, he did excuse her when she gave birth when she wanted to be in comforting clothes, but their soon is at her parents house, she could at least try and show some skin.
In a pair of sweat pants and an oversized stained shirt, who is he to judge, at least sheās comfortable, and those stains show her effort of being a lousy housewife.
āIām sorry.ā He apologizes for the second time in a span of 4 minutes, walks closer to her, a few inches away from grabbing her hips, she immediately hovers her hand on his chest, not even touching him, signaling him to get away.Ā āEw, did you smoke?ā She covers her nose with the back of her hand, before turning and walking towards the bedroom while shutting off the living room lights. āClean yourself up and go to bed, and turn of the rest of the lights, weāre paying too much for the bills.ā
A small breath of frustration leaves his nose, she slams the door shut which he doesnāt even flinch, heās so used to her being the worst human being heās ever met.
He puts his jacket down on the couch and throws himself down on it, his head falls back and his eyes just close for a split second.
Music from the club still playing in his head when he remembers your breath taking figure walking away from him, your back explicitly making a show for him, he wished he could touch your tattoo with his fingertips at least. And what you didnāt see was his eyes roaming around your body, as if heās not believing his eyes actually seeing someone that looks exactly like the woman he imagined having in his teenage years.
His eyes so passionately with high concentration focus on your calves and thighs, up to your ass that he wants to dive in so desperately, he admires your skin color, the small birthmark on the back of your thigh, your chest rising when your breathing quickens, up to your long neck begging for his fingers to just wrap around and for his lips to suck on, up to your lips pursing with each word and your tongue moving to your lower lip when you look at him, then finally his eyes met yours, and he finds the way you look at him insanely hot, he was never looked at like this, and heās so positive that you both are on the same page.
His eyebrows scrunch in a frown when he rewinds the night.
Did you just flirt with someone when youāre married? Ā He thinks before scoffing, totally forgetting the tought that he started filing for divorce a couple weeks ago, without even letting his wife know, itās the last thing he wanted for his son to experience his parents getting a divorce, but his marriage went down the pooper and itās just a lost cause.
The lawyer said itās going to take some time, especially when thereās a baby between them, but still, is he allowed to flirt with someone while still being involved in a marriage?
But fuck, what you actually do to him? He finds himself palming his jeans, slowly but surely unzipping it to make himself more comfortable, the bulge in his pants is way too tight for his liking.
He gets up and makes his way to the bathroom, undressing in seconds and getting under the running warm water, his hands move to his body lotion before he puts some into his palm and rubs it all over his sculpted big body, his hands going slowly to his already erect cock, he grabs the head tightly in between his thumb and index finger, stroking it slowly, making sure to take his time to feel the pleasure, his eyes even close and all he can see is you
Namjoon was a man with a fucking wild brain and an even wilder imagination, sudden scenarios go through his brain, you dancing, even him touching you, his eyes close tighter, not totally satisfied with his vanilla imagination, it needs to be harder.
And in a snap of a finger he can see himself fucking your tight pussy from behind, ruining you and using you to release all his frustration, he imagines kissing your spine and running his tongue on it. His messed up thoughts show him your mouth around his monstrously large dick, choking on it, and thatās when he totally gives in and grows weaker, his muscles relaxing when he shoots continuous white ribbons of cum on the shower floor, his breath going quicker when he releases, he tenses again and a small groan escapes his plump lips when he looks down at his cock still shooting cum, this has never happened with him before and it makes him wonder on the spot, fuck what are you doing to him.
His palm automatically leans on the wall for support, he starts breathing slowly to control his breath. He came hard imagining you in his hands, which if you knew you would be flattered.
He cleans himself up and gets out of the shower, gets dressed and rushes to bed, he has to pick up Jay from Ilsan tomorrow.
As the year is ending soon... this is your friendly reminder that you didnāt waste your year. any moments of happiness or comfort, any small accomplishments, they all matter. this has been a really hard year, and simply surviving is something to be proud of. š¤
gen z has to reckon with its radicalization problem. you are not a morally pure and superior generation of youth come to save the world, your men and boys are radicalized at an unprecedented level and you ignore it because itās too hard to address but you have to. these boys are in your classes, they date your friends, you know them and you cannot continue to pretend this is an āold white guyā problem
girls are contributing, too. the coquette aesthetic, the āi donāt want to girlboss i want a man to pay my billsā, girlmath girljob girlmoney. itās a joke, itās clothes, itās whatever, i get it but it is driving a mentality of traditional gender roles and you know youāre joking but your boyfriend doesnāt. your kid brother doesnāt. you have to stop this shit it is a contributing factor
why would 8 be brought up if itās EVEN in a post about ODDS??????? the post said āevery single ODD number has an āeā in itā not āevery single number with an āeā is oddā what the fuck
yousharknotpass
origamiaround
areudirty
ellievsbear
amandla
