Impressively proportional.

26 | she/her | pfp made by my dear pal @thaumazomai

[charontransitauthority]

[oldmanpusspuss]

most euthanizable mutuals of 2026

[victusinveritas]

Step 1: Remove filters in Reflecting Pool because Obama put them in.

Step 2: Give your criminal neighbor who runs "Greenwater Services" a $20 million no-bid contract to paint the pool.

Step 3: Fill the pool with water from the Potomac River, the phosphates from which cause algae blooms.

Step 4: Freshly sealed pool and extreme heat result in a super scum event

Step 5: Direct National Park Service to dump hydrogen peroxide into the pool which causes the paint to peel.

Step 5: Deploy US National Guard to stop people from taking photos of the swamp as a perfect metaphor for the administration.

[creepymutelilbugger]

you know I never put it together that he built his platform on draining the swamp and then like went and made a swamp and now refuses to drain it

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

6. Spread conspiracy theories that the Democrats have deliberately sabotaged the pool and arrest whoever pulls out the floating paint chunks as vandals.

[pavizi]

trans women i love you

[pavizi]

disabled trans women i love you

[piratewithvigor]

Just saw a bird get a worm at 8:06pm.

Never let the morning people say it can't be done

[alkatyn]

This is making me realize that as a child I assumed that worms emerge from the ground at some point in the early morning to make the phrase make sense

[jingle-knight]

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.

[muppetshow2026]

not to give green day credit but it is immensely funny how often Big Corporation For Guys Men Guys Guy Corporation will be like hi green day play my event. and green day is like ok Big Corporation For Guys Men Guys Guy Corporation but you know we suck dick and penis and want to kill politicians and we are going to play our song we suck dick and penis and want to kill politicians .and Big Corporation For Guys Men Guys Guy Corporation is like ok green day thats cool. and then green day plays their song we suck dick and penis and want to kill politicians. and Big Corporation For Guys Men Guys Guy Corporation is like wtf green day you cant do that you cant play your song we suck dick and penis and want to kill politicians. and this has been happening in a cycle for 30 years.

[theabigailthorn]

reminds me of the time Rage Against the Machine were vying for Christmas Number 1 (british public was doing a little trolling) so the BBC had to let them come on and play 'Killing In the Name Of' live on the breakfast show, and they asked them not to swear and they swore

[emberry-pie]

me when I tell the guy who sings "fuck you, I won't do what you tell me" not to do that

[lgbtwingsofficial]

[billymayslesbian]

i think this post is improved by the knowledge that i got renamed "punished ant" after getting banned for posting a gift of optimus prime twerking, completely forgot that was my nickname, and didnt understand why i was getting yelled at for typing

[bigbigtruck]

quotes taken from the source

(the 4th one is Bumpus wanting dinner, friends can back me up on this)

[saxifraga-x-urbium]

come back to me most perfect of comics

[willowrosenberg1997]

[yellow-cat]

the reason that wounds that break the skin hurt is because its always supposed to be dark inside your body and when your blood sees sunlight for the first time it gets scared. and that causes the pain. or maybe it doesnt

[yellow-cat]

basicllay the creature got you.

[yellow-cat]

lightbulbs is poisonous

[kosmogrl]

I really am just living for the hope of it all

[carmilla-minus-one]

staring grimly at a cheeseburger: for cleavage... i will make any sacrifice

[judgejudyofficial]

speedrunning getting fired by sending this to my boss over slack

[madz-the-3rd]

[treasuredplanet]

in hindsight sending the number one digit at a time created the funniest half second of either of our lives

[dogpuppy]

[melonflavored]