[catasters]

[soundssimpleright]

Working in a warehouse when suddenly…..

[undercovertacobell]

So there's only one channel in this motel,

This morning while I was getting ready I was watching Sesame Street.

They were doing this bit where some clown was trying to wash his hands but kept washing his feet or his elbows and Elmo would go, “no mister noodle, your HANDS!” and all the tv kids would laugh.

Around the fourth or fifth time he couldn’t find his hands, I heard a grown man yell from somewhere else in the motel, “GODDAMMIT, MR. NOODLE.”

[oodlyenough]

work is sending me to french training, which i have been nervous about. had the first lesson this morning. teacher told me i had beautiful pronunciation, like i'd been raised with it (i was not). dangerous ego levels for someone who can only hold conversations that sound like téléfrançais episodes

[oodlyenough]

today's feedback was essentially that it's confusing to speak to me because instead of sounding like an anglo i sound like a francophone who is an idiot fhklgglh

[spirantization]

you're like the real life version of that Paul Taylor bit

[havocthecat]

thank fuck for subtitles, all I have to say

[what-hos-there]

Well I guess I have a new fear when it comes to learning languages now XD I'm going to sound so stupid in so many places all over the globe sksksks

[justcatposts]

Little jockey

(Source)

[clarifrench]

@elodieunderglass

[glorious-spoon]

i really like outsider POV, but the thing is, it fundamentally works better when whatever is going on with the characters in question is so fucking weird that no reasonable outsider could ever discern it

like, the ideal outsider POV should have at least some element of 'what the fuck is wrong with these people'.

[blignick]

[thegenderdruid]

walking down the street and saw someone walking the other direction with a pig in a harness and leash and I stupidly asked, "is that a pig?" and he replied, "I sure hope it is, it was a pig when I left the house"

[nattousan]

ok so, I approached my local library with a proposal to donate a mural as a way to A: build portfolio/gain practical experience and B: give back to a beloved public institution. The director was very enthusiastic about it and i've been working on it since the beginning of March. Come with me as I endeavor to paint what is in all honesty an excessive amount of birds

I wanted the birds to look like they were actually in the space so first thing after doing the draft was to do a lighting study

after that I covered the walls in letters in lieu of a projector/vr headset bc i have neither of those :) Then i take a picture of the section of wall and superimpose the lineart over top of it so I can pencil in the lines

et voila

and that was a whole week on it's own so next comes the paintin' >:)

[nattousan]

and now, the birds

Birds 1 and 2/14: Red Winged Blackbird, Male and female, Agelaius phoeniceus

[nattousan]

Bird 3/14, American Robin, Turdus migratorius

[nattousan]

hoo boy, ok *out of breath*

GIVE IT UP FOR BIRD NUMBUH 5, THE CANADIAN GOOSE, Branta canadensis!!!!

this guy took me about 4 days to completely finish, all of those freakingk coverts were a bear to render

[nattousan]

speaking of obnoxious coverts:

bird 6/14, Bluejay, Cyanocitta cristata

the friggin stripes almost got me chat, i may not make it

[clarifrench]

@elodieunderglass

[kedreeva]

Today the lady behind me in line at the grocery store checkout politely tapped my shoulder and when I turned around she motioned toward my giant bundles of kale and asked: “what do you do with your kale? Do you cook with it, or make juice, or…?” And i admitted there in front of god and the world “oh I feed it to my peacocks.” And she just looked so taken aback that I said “I’m sorry that’s not the answer you were hoping for”

And that’s how I learned other people don’t really know what to do with kale either. We’re all pretty sure it’s edible, though.

[kedreeva]

People are sending me kale recipes like they honestly believe I will try to eat bird food

[raptorific]

I still think it’s hilarious that the reason nobody ever figures out Superman’s secret identity or where he lives or what he does when he’s not saving the planet, is because he already told them all the Kryptonian stuff that can’t be tied to any of his human friends or family. I guarantee you the in-universe wikipedia article on Superman lists his name as Kal-El and the “personal life” section says that he lives full-time at his private fortress of solitude at the north pole. Nobody in the world looks at Clark Kent and thinks “oh my god, maybe he’s superman!” for the same reason nobody ever starts to suspect that their coworker who looks KINDA like Barack Obama is actually secretly Barack Obama – They know who Barack Obama is and know what he does and they know their coworker Greg is Greg and not Barack Obama. They have no reason to assume Barack Obama secretly moonlights as Greg The IT Guy at their workplace even though they’ve never seen Greg and Obama in the same place. At best, “Greg is secretly Obama” would be a running joke at the office, and the same is true at the Daily Planet. “Kal-El of Krypton, who lives in a CRYSTAL PALACE at the NORTH POLE and whose dayjob is SUPERMAN, sometimes puts on a suit and pretends to be a clumsy reporter and lives in a one-bedroom walkup in Metropolis” is a ridiculous concept to anyone who doesn’t already know it’s true

[mousathe14]

[bigpastapete-deactivated2018060]

[From Max Landis’ amazing “American Alien” series about Superman.] SO GOOD

[detective-birdy]

SCREAM 👏🏻 IT 👏🏻 TO 👏🏻 THE 👏🏻 BACK 👏🏻 SO EVERYONE 👏🏻 CAN 👏🏻 HEAR

[logisticbumm]

His shit eating grin in the last one sells it

[reformed-roark]

I love the idea of Clark Kent turning up to every office Halloween party in an ill-fitting Superman costume from Target.

[joshscorcher]

Still one of my favorite clips from Superman: The Animated Series.

[fidgetelftree]

This has gotten bigger since I last saw it ant that’s FANTASTIC

[thebaconsandwichofregret]

Henry Cavill literally once stood in Time Square, in a superman t-shirt, under a giant poster of himself and no one recognised him, even though he was actively trying to be recognised.

[advanced-procrastination]

I’ve never seen this post but it just became my favorite post on the internet

[mercy-angel-09]

Wanna know the kicker?

In the first chapter of JLA’s “Divided We Fall Arc” both Clark and Bruce reveal their civilian identities to the rest of the League. This is post “Tower of Babel” where nobody but Clark still trusts Batman, and in order to start building trust again, Clark urges Bruce to unmask himself to the rest of the team because Bruce obviously knows who everyone else is. Bruce agrees on one condition, Clark has to “unmask” himself as well.

When the big reveal goes down, Kyle Rayner says it best re: Clark being Superman: “He doesn’t…wear a mask. I never even…thought he had a…day job…”

That’s right, the canon reason why nobody makes the connection between Superman and Clark Kent is because nobody thinks that Superman HAS a civilian identity.

Also, with a really good actor, Clark Kenting is entirely possible, as Christopher Reeve demonstrates in the 1978 Superman film.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

There was actually a story where a scientist at Lexcorp developed a computer program to analyse all available evidence and work out who Superman is

It figured out he was Clark…and Lex fired the scientist for wasting company resources because he COULDN’T BELIEVE that Superman would ever “Pretend” to be human because it would mean pretending to be “Weak”

90% of Superman’s disguise is everyone else doing the work for him

[ayellowbirds]

the best secret identity of all.

[babyanimalgifs]

[whoarei]

me

[sandersstudies]

Sometimes I’m talking to a child like hey I’m not mad. I’m not even disappointed really. Your classmates however are going to beat you with sticks if we don’t do something about this.

[ivvyela]

nothing on this god's green earth can convince me that peter parker doesn't have an ao3 account where he is elbows deep in a 'rise of skywalker' fix-it fic. like, fully invested in it, been writing it pre-spider bite with ned, who is just as enthusiastic about it. but the thing is, it's really hard to do updates when you are literally spider-man.

every three months he'll post and in the author's note there's some shit like "sorry this took a while, i got shot seven times :/" or "i know it's been a minute, i literally got hit by a bus and then stabbed in the leg, but i'm all good!" or sometimes ned would log in and post with a note "hey i'm a friend posting on the author's behalf, they're healing from severe hypothermia but promised an update, so here it is!"

and the fic just gets increasingly more popular for the author notes alone. a good handful of the comments are something along the lines of "i'm not even in the star wars fandom, i'm just here to see if the author is good" or "every update i cheer for another day the author gets to live at this point"

and any reader who is a native new yorker kind of pieces together that holy shit the author might be spider-man because the timeline adds up, and they just fully embrace it. spider-man will stop a robbery and the guy behind the counter will ask when the next chapter will be up. spider-man returns a stolen backpack to a girl and she'll tell him that he "really got poe's voice down so well, it's really impressive."

ned thinks it is hilarious. mj finds out about the fic from twitter, to peter's absolute horror, and changes peter's contact name to "friendly neighborhood ao3 author". but the worst thing to happen is after an avengers battle where peter took a pretty big hit and ends up in med-bay. and during a press conference, when someone asks how spider-man is healing, tony just drops "spidey won't be down for too long. the star wars fic will be updated within the week, probably."

ao3 goes down for two days.

[mysticalcoffeequeen]

When you thought it would be easy peasy lemon squeezy but it turns out to be difficult difficult lemon difficult.

[switchnx]

Wait that’s actually really good, gonna pop this out of the tags

[itsreallystupid]

[teaboot]

[strawberrycatcrowbar]

[ruusverd]

I usually try to be tolerant of anachronisms in books, particularly ye olde medieval generic swords and sorcery type books, but I think I broke the sound barrier with how quickly I just shot out of my immersion in this book when ye olde ancient archivist in the ye olde fantasy-england castle's library tells the protag where to find a certain book by giving him its dewey decimal number.

[ruusverd]

Today in an arthurian retelling set in pre-saxon britain I encountered a character who said he was going to quit drinking "cold turkey," which I think puts him roughly a thousand years prior to European awareness of the existence of turkeys, and the dissonance had barely registered in my mind before I remembered the medieval lending library run on the dewey decimal system and decided a chronologically misplaced poultry idiom wasn't worth noticing in comparison.

[official-library-posts]

official library post

[byjove]

Though I don’t have a fear of dogs, I find it really sad and disgusting the way the phobia is treated at large. Cynophobia is one of the most common and debilitating phobias and it often forms in childhood, especially after a traumatic event. I grew up in the middle of nowhere with a lot of unleashed, untrained and/or stray dogs and I was bitten and knocked down by several dogs as a kid. Your dog might be your best friend, your dog might be a very good dog but that person may look at your dog and only remember being a helpless 6 year old child with a dog’s jaw around their neck. The fear seems irrational and hilarious to you, someone who has had mostly positive interactions with dogs but remember not everyone has lived the life you have.

So many dog owners are practically allergic to doing anything to alleviate human anxiety around their dog, even things that would greatly benefit the dog like keeping it leashed and not bringing it into high stress environments* without cause. If a friend told me they were afraid of cats, I’d tell them it is best we meet outside of my home because that is a completely reasonable accommodation. There are so many horror stories about someone being told another person is afraid of dogs and repeatedly putting them in situations where they have to be in close proximity to a dog without that person’s consent because they think it’s funny or because ‘My dog is such a good dog. It’ll definitely change their mind about dogs. This is like impromptu exposure therapy.’ and it makes everything worse.

Someone being frightened and on the verge of a panic attack at your little Shih Tzu mix may seem like an amusing overreaction to you but those bitches (pun absolutely intended) do bite and the safest thing to do for that person and your dog is to keep them separated. You don’t know what life they’ve lead.

*This post is not about service dog and handler teams. If your dog is a disability aid, it is the responsibility of others to Buck Up and Deal regardless of their opinions on dogs. This is about the epidemic of terrible dog owners taking their poorly trained dogs places and being completely inconsiderate towards others AND their own dog.

[byjove]

RIGHT! Someone saying “Dogs are not my thing. I’m a bit nervous around dogs. I’m not fond of them.” is so different than wishing harm on your dog. I’m a cat owner and I’m very used to people who hate cats saying vile things about them but there really is a stark difference between “I don’t really like cats.” and “I would love to sic my dog on your stupid fucking cat.” but many dog owners see anything other than totally loving dogs as a sign the person is inherently evil.