clowns and marvel

Avengers shit ig enjoy

[clownsandmarvel]

Peter: Uh.. hes like... an expert in IRL lore.

Tony: Do you mean he’s a he’s a historian, Peter? Are you talking about a historian?

[clownsandmarvel]

Peter: Yeah he’s a science guru.

Bruce: A PHYSICIST, PETER, A PHYSICIST!

[clownsandmarvel]

Pepper: Tony you can’t buy the whole world that’s not possible.

Tony: But Pepper.

Tony: I’m a Material Gorl.

[clownsandmarvel]

Stephen, exasperated: What did you do now?

Tony: ur mom

Stephen:...

Tony:

Tony: No, actually I lit a building on fire.

[clownsandmarvel]

Peter: I’m so cold but at least I look good.

MJ: Beauty is pain and pain is living in New England during January.

[clownsandmarvel]

Natasha: I’m about to do a full 360 degrees spin and slap you.

Tony: Don’t you mean 180 degrees?

Natasha: No, it’s called lies and deception. I start spinning around so you think I’m going to walk away and not slap you, so you let your guard down, only for me to come back around again and bitch slap you extra hard.

[clownsandmarvel]

Peter, showing MJ photo’s of them from five years ago: Oh, look, these are so cool.

MJ, squinting at the picture, and back at Peter: You look so different, I can’t see the resemblance!

Peter:

Peter: MJ, we were snapped. We haven’t changed in the last 5 years.

MJ: And?

[clownsandmarvel]

Bucky: Things were better back in my day.

Bucky: Now it’s all “No, Bucky, you can’t do that!” “No, Bucky, that’s illegal!” “No, Bucky! You can’t stab people!”

Bucky: Like, ugh.

[clownsandmarvel]

Pepper, looking at the camera, Tired of Shit: Neither my husband or my daughter had voluntarily eaten in the past three days and I don’t know which will last longer, my daughter’s toddlerhood, my marriage, or my will to live.

[clownsandmarvel]

Tony, angrily: Stop calling me!

Maria Hill: Tony, the compound is burning down, Thanos is attacking, Fury is dead, and everything’s going to hell.

Tony: I swear, my phone has been blowing up all morning, and I haven’t even had coffee yet.

Maria: Tony, Loki got ahold of the Chutari army somehow-

Tony: I couldn’t give less of a shit.

Maria: Tony, the sun is blowing up-

Tony: JARVIS, block all saved phone numbers.

*line ends*

[clownsandmarvel]

“I have a PhD in Gamma Radiation, not people skills.”

-Bruce Banner at some point.

[clownsandmarvel]

*Peter about to fistfight someone in the store*

Manager: I’m afraid we’re going to have to ask you to leave the store.

Narrator: Peter knows this was a rhetorical question, but that doesn’t mean he was going to take it that way.

[clownsandmarvel]

Nat: How’d you manage to get a boyfriend?

Bucky, proudly: I swept him off his feet.

Steve: He drop kicked me.

[clownsandmarvel]

Tony: ...what did you do?

Peter, standing in front of a room full of spiderwebs: It wasn’t me!

[clownsandmarvel]

“Okay, your definition of ‘too much Goldfish’ is different than my definiton.”

-Peter at some point in his life

[clownsandmarvel]

*Dr Strange describing his adventures through the multiverse*

Stephen: ...and a giant lizard comes charging at me. At first I think it’s a dragon, then I realize it’s a T-rex.

Peter: You literally just described most of the history of archeology in a sentence.

[clownsandmarvel]

Tony: What time is it?

Pepper: 8:00.

Morgan: actUALLY IT’S 8:02-