[teathattast]

[aj521z]

The accuracy and precision is unparalleled 

[thegoldengals]

Opposite vibe

[penandinkprincess]

in my heart ilya does get off to the dynamic of the "bad boy seduced the golden boy of hockey" thing, which does make it especially funny after they're married because like

ilya, spent the day helping david and yuna reorganize their home office and put new shelves in, dropped by with lunch for shane at a shoot because he KNEW he wasn't going to like anything on offer, just ordered anya new little snow boots for her little baby paws because she doesn't like the velcro on her existing set and his sweet baby princess deserves what she wants forever, refilled shane's water bottle for him with ice water before beginning tonight's seduction because shane likes both cuddles and cold water afterwards so this way he can have both: i am a devious and sexy evil seducer who has TEMPTED YOU into my devious and sexy evil clutches >:)

[haflacky]

Hollanov 💔

It was ordered as commission, but the customer deceived me, didn’t pay me for the second half and muted me, so PLEASE feel free to use this commission as you want, make prints, post it online (with credit), anything!

[muttsys-deactivated20260425]

i want to share this picture my mom took when she was young with you all. because its fucking awesome

on the back "super puppy 1985" is written

[recklessmoss]

super puppy 1985!

[sailorsally]

God's first mistake was giving me an art degree. His second mistake was letting me watch Supernatural.

[space-bakery]

His publicist or his agent manages Shane's instagram but I think he secretly LOVES it when he's watching tape on the couch & Ilya's lying with his head in Shane's lap scrolling through his own feed and Shane gets to look over and make blisteringly judgmental comments while seeming ''''''disinterested''''''''

[space-bakery]

Ilya is sooooo into this btw and he's always trying to prod Shane into an """'involuntary""" commentary session. Casually opening Instagram as Shane's cooking, making exaggerated "WOW" noises under his breath till Shane leans over. And then whenever he does get Shane started he's like excuse me I need my phone back I'm going to tell ESPN Shane Hollander is actually the biggest bitch in Canada. CBC? Hello? Yes I have shocking news about your national hero --

But of course he would never do that, having cunty Shane all to himself is much more important.... he just likes watching Shane squirm when he calls him moya suchka... bitochka... Shane's like oh please, you say shit that's way worse -- hold on can you zoom in on that pic of Jackie? Ugh I told Hayden he has GOT to stop buying her jewelry from fucking Pandora, what the actual fuck. Actually can you text me that bracelet you were showing me the other day, I'll send it to him~

[space-bakery]

[scinnlaece]

He would give up so much more, if he needed to. [...] Ilya reached for his hand and tangled their fingers together. I love you so much. Don't leave me.

Rachel Reid | Heated Rivalry; Chapter Twenty-Seven

[gloriousclio]

Luke Skywalker put away his targeting computer to destroy the Death Star so I don't need AI to help me write an email.

[knownqueerbaiter]

shane hollander in the 2022 playoffs with the cens actively suffering daily from the “no sex during playoffs” rule for the first time in his life

[knownqueerbaiter]

ilya: it is not real rule, you know. we can fuck if you want to

shane: do you WANT to lose?

shane: do you think if we jerk off together while watching each other that counts

ilya: counts to who, moya lyubov? who is checking?

shane, gesturing vaguely but frustratedly: you know! hockey!

[shanesmouth]

That scene says, “I want you and not just in a sexual way, but I like you, you make me swoon, you make me melt.” I think that's a really interesting layer. (x)

[2colde]

much like a beautiful horse i like salt and roaming freely

[t4timekeeper]

dinosaur sprinkles. look at this post with your eyes if you agree

[t4timekeeper]

[v3llichor]

ayyy @pngblog I feel like your audience would love this one

[pngblog]

Only one way to find out!

[dietspam16]

[elnotwoods]

shane cockwarming ilya this, shane cockwarming ilya that… this fandom tends to forget that ilya is a throat goat and freaking loves to suck a dick, he swallows cause he “does not mind” (i.e. moans harder when shane cums down his throat than shane himself.. you know - the person cumming)

add to it that ilya loves resting his head in peoples laps, getting his hair played with.. and has an oral fixation

so what i am saying is that ilya loves, loves, LOVES! cockwarming shane - sometimes they just chill on the couch, watching a renovation show or a movie ilya isn’t particularly interested in so while he rests his head in shane’s lap he simply turns around, tugs shane’s sweats down and puts shane’s cock in his mouth

they stay like that for a long time, ilya gets all floaty and sleepy bc shane’s hand is stroking through his hair, lightly scratching at his scalp and his cock is in his mouth

when ilya gets antsy again he starts sucking him off and gets him to come quickly, swallowing at the end of course and goes back to cockwarming him if shane wants to continue watching his show

[heterorealism]

Truck comes first and if there is any money left over the kids may eat. - Modern Consumer Patriarchy

[varginhamonologues]

she got her degree and started removing the parasite 🙏

[earths-roots-grow-up]

Tinfoil hat moment but I don't think he was dumb, I think he was strategic. He put her in a situation in which she had to either: sell her car (so the only means of transportation is now in his name), or maybe even to drop out (to have time for the second job) if she wants to feed the kids. He did it right when she was aaaaaalmost done with her degree. Either way, it's sabotage.

Sometimes when an action makes NO sense to us ("he's like a stupid alien"), it's bc we are not understanding its true motivation/purpouse. If his goal was control, financial pressure and limiting her options due to lack of funds, it makes perfect sensie to buy the truck.

Tinfoil hat moment over!

[existennialmemes]

Every Website right now: Give us a scan of your driver's license or be banished. It's for safety.

Every Website for the last 10 years: Oopsies we had another massive data breach! Tee-hee!

[mutinsfromthemoon]

one of the videos on the ottawa centaurs account with the most views is the one where a handful of the guys are playing football and kicking the ball to each other. one of them kicks it too hard and has to go after it and he runs out of frame, but the video keeps rolling and catches ilya pulling shane in by his waist and kissing him while shane giggles. when the player comes back, ilya backs away from shane and they both just resume playing like it’s the most natural thing in the world. and the fans in the comments absolutely lost their minds going “oh yeah the PR relationship looking a little too real” “they’re in love your honor” “omg look at shane smiling” “they love each other so much is disgusting (affectionately)” “can we talk about how lapointe is so bad at kicking ball? thank goodness he’s a hockey player” “please some of us are single” “i bet ilya sent the ball away with his mind just to have a break to kiss shane” and ilya had liked that last one.