Pulvis Et Umbra Sumus

Tom Holland, Bucky Barnes, Dousy,Clace a and Jurdan are life. Obsessed with Shadowhunters, Doctor Who, Sherlock, Hunger Games, Stitchers, etc. 9,10,11,12, Captain Jack, Jace, Magnus, Alec, Cameron, Malec, Camsten, so many more...feel free to message me about ships.

[heatedrivalrysource]

Jacob's writing 👀👀👀

[bugslibraryy]

Shane leaving a big dark bruise looking hickey in the v of Ilyas hip purely on accident, he doesn’t think about it, all teeth and mouth and hungry tongue because Ilya told him he’s not allowed to get Ilya off with his mouth, that he wants to use his cheek instead. And was, thrusting his hard cock all wet from his spit (get it wet for me sweetheart, that’s it Shane spit on it for me) over Shane’s soft cheek, and since Shane couldn’t his his mouth how he wanted he kept his mouth busy on Ilya’s skin.

Later, after, after ilya had cleaned Shane’s face with his fingers and both their mouths- they are stumbling heavy footed and tired into the bathroom for a shower- and Ilya sees it, a dark mouth shaped bruise, purple red, it looks like he took a fucking puck to his groin. He gasps and Shane is like huh? All big heavy eyes already in the shower, waiting for Ilya to get in with him. His hair is all wet flat to his head, brushed back out of eyes. Ilya has got to fuck him again. But more importantly -

“I was attacked !!!!” Ilya points to his hip. “Some little vampire attached to me, can you believe this? Shane how could a vampire sneak into our bedroom without knowing?” And Shane is all red red cheeks and red red chest and mumbly “it was an accident, you’re the one who said I couldn’t use my mouth” and he’s huffing and puffing and Ilya steps into the shower and he’s only going to tease him a little while longer, before he kisses Shane stupid and tells him how much he likes it. But first. “You did this? My Shane? I had no idea! Let me see your fangs” and he’s shoving his fingers into Shane’s mouth, poking at his canine teeth and Shane is making his furious kitten face-

[aslongasitsblack]

Lately Ilya has spent ninety percent of his time thinking about Shane Hollander. This is a low estimate. And something he would never acknowledge to himself, or even consciously realise or conceptualise of.

Shane on his knees. Shane on his hands and knees. Shane and him fucking in front a fireplace with Shane riding him slowly while they’re sat up chest to chest, real romantic shit. Shane’s mouth open and plush. Shane begging for it. Shane crying for it. Shane saying his name. Shane saying goodbye. Shane saying hi. Shane’s eyes and his neck and his baby rabbit soft ears and his strong forearms. The bend of his elbow. Taking Shane to some stupid resort in the Bahamas or something where they would just lie in a private cabin in the middle of the ocean and hold hands and sunbathe and have cocktails appear in their hands. Where Shane would let him have him on every surface. He thought about Shane’s eyes and his eyebrows and the space between his eyebrows that would crinkle when Ilya said something to rouse him on purpose. The way Shane said what. The way he said what do you mean. All earnest like all honest and vulnerable. The way Shane could look at him in a way that made Ilya feel like he was being pierced through the skin. He wanted to lie awake and watch Shane sleep and whisper just loudly enough that it was heard by the world. I would die for you I would die for you I would I would. Shane holding a baby. Shane’s trim waist roped with muscle, Ilya’s big hand wrapped around it. Mine, mine, mine. Shane’s shoulders and back, rippling through water. Shane drinking a glass of water. Shane drinking a glass of beer. Shane wearing blue jeans and a white t-shirt. Shane’s pinched brow. Making out with Shane open mouthed. Fucking Shane up against a wall. In fact, every surface became a place he could fuck Shane. Every song became about Shane. Every conversation thread had by other people something he could spin into Shane.

It got so bad he simply had to talk to someone about it. Luckily Marley had just met some new chick of the month as well and it was easy to transpose Shane onto some nebulous type girl. They weren’t super sharey in general so he kind of got away with being unspecific, never saying a name. Just any excuse to talk about him. They traded lovesick comments between them like tween girls and sexual fantasies like perverse men. He never said the truly damning shit out loud though. It was just a pressure release. A way to keep from exploding, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong person.

Ilya imagined taking Shane into his arms rough and ready in the doorway and saying I missed you. Did you miss me? And Shane admitting I missed you and Ilya would get to smirk into Shane’s smiling mouth and Shane would be overcome with it and kiss him like he was air. Shane in shorts. Shane in briefs. Shane in a jock. Shane completely naked in his bed. Waking up to find Shane naked in his bed. Returning from a shower to find Shane naked in his bed. Returning from practice to find Shane naked in his bed. All dark hair and sweet eyes, sheets tangled around his limbs and hands grabbing at nothing, grabbing for Ilya. Shane and him touching chest to chest with nothing in between. Shane holding him under the covers. Shane complaining that the carrots are overcooked. Or the glass isn’t clean enough. Or the fabrics not organic.

Everytime he stopped at a red light while driving he imagined Shane sliding into the passenger seat, smiling and saying “Hi” shyly before throwing himself over Ilya, Shane’s lips all over his face and neck, hands running like water, and Ilya would chuckle and say “Okay easy. Easy now” which was ridiculous because it was Ilya’s fantasy and so he was the one making Shane act like this. And he would say “I missed you, did you miss me?” and Shane would murmur “Well, obviously” and Ilya would feel like a fucking lottery winner for affecting the man who can’t be moved, for making him admit to his being moved. Shane wearing his hat backwards. Shane blushing from the bridge of his nose to his belly button. Shane folded in half gasping and moaning into Ilya’s mouth. Shane across from him at a cafe or a restaurant or in the seat next to him at a bar. He would know exactly what to order for Shane, for Shane to roll his eyes and then say thank you and Ilya would say show me how thankful you are and Shane would roll his eyes and kiss him even though there were people around.

All things absurd and mundane. But if you asked him, even to himself, he would’ve responded he spent minimal amounts of time thinking about Hollander.

The only thing better than thinking about Shane was having him. Real and in the flesh it was like a dream. No, not like a dream. Like everything made sense. Like waking up. Again, this was yet far from a conscious observation.

[gayhockeyshow]

“Is just a plan to fuck” Ilya be SOOOOO fucking for real was it casual when u planned how u were gonna slip hollander your room number in the middle of the fucking all star skills competition was it casual when u gaped openly at shane on his knees for you was it casual when u princess carried him to the bed and said “on your stomach… on your stomach!” three seconds into blowing him because you wanted to fuck him so bad it made you look stupid ILYA PLEASEE

[punksalmons]

the thing about shane is that he goes for the throat without even knowing it

[lavenderprose]

Another closely guarded take of mine is that I think Hollanov actually did do the whole lovemaking thing before the cottage.

Not often. Maybe only a couple of times. Maybe only once.

Some brutal fucking game where Shane cracked his fucking head on the ice hard enough that Ilya swore he felt it through the ice. The visor on his fucking helmet snapped off. His ears rang and his head swam but he didn't lose consciousness, his eyes were dilating fine. The trainers kept him back for half a period but eventually had to let him back out on the ice because someone complaining that much and talking that lucidly was probably alright. And he is, he is actually alright, but by the time the adrenalin of the game is gone and by the time he's done self-flagellating for the fact that, after all of that shit, Boston won by one point--by the time that's done, he's tired. His head aches. And this is the last time he gets to see Ilya, maybe, before playoffs ramp up and they don't speak for awhile. So of course he still goes to Ilya's place and of course he lets Ilya kiss him hard in the doorway, though he can't help the slight Ah, ah that comes out of his mouth when Ilya does his normal thing and fists a hand in his hair.

"Oh, oh, your head." Ilya says this far too gently and far too sweetly, like one might to an animal or child. Because Ilya is a little like the Big Bad Wolf and at times speaks with a voice not his own. Sometimes he opens his mouth but what comes out isn't his normal voice, deep and sexy and sometimes crude. At times he speaks with a different voice enirely--soft, higher. Call it loving, if it wasn't Ilya fucking Rozanov.

(This is because Ilya Rozanov is a loverboy at heart, always has been. Shane doesn't know this yet.)

"It's fine," Shane mutters, already searching for Ilya's mouth again. "Come on. Come on."

And Ilya obliges him, slots their mouths back together and slots his hands behind Shane's thighs to lift, and Shane loves that. He always does. He would never ever tell Rozanov, but he fucking loves submitting to him in that way--giving over his entire body as something to be picked up, moved around. This instrument of his that he keeps so finely tuned, and when he's with Ilya it doesn't belong to him anymore. It feels so fucking good, every time.

It feels especially good tonight, when all he's heard for hours is Fuck Hollander that one was bad. Careful with that head man we're gonna need it. That one was nasty, you sure you're good. Gotta be careful man.

Ilya says absolutely none of this. Ilya hauls him to the bedroom and tilts onto the bed, landing on it widthwise with Shane under him. He kisses Shane's stomach and hips as he takes off his pants for him and then he rests his chin in Shane's bush as he smiles and says, "You have headache, hm? I see you squint."

"A little. It's fine."

"You know what's good for headache?" Ilya kisses him twice, once in the hip, once on the stomach, low enough that Shane feels the suction of the kiss at the base of his dick.

"What?" Shane whispers, arms over his head and knees dropped onto the bedspread.

"Orgasm," Ilya says simply. "Releases chemicals, makes you feel good. I'll make you feel good, okay? See if that headache goes away."

And Ilya, as always, makes him feel good. But only after he puts a pillow behind Shane's head and a pillow under his hips and asks him if he's comfortable. And Shane would roll his eyes and accuse him of patronizing him, making fun of him for taking the hit, if there wasn't something different in Rozanov's eyes tonight. He kneels between Shane's legs and looks down at him, hands massaging Shane's thighs, and he looks unbearably handsome. Shane tells him so.

"Are you gonna fuck me?" Shane murmurs, when the staring and the touching has gone on for a very long time.

"Mm-hm. Yes." Ilya kisses his belly again, presses his forehead there. Says something that might be So beautiful or Pretty boy or even My baby. Shane decides it's not for his ears and doesn't listen, and then makes himself forget he ever heard it.

Ilya fucks him for absolute ages and says things like Feel good? Nice for you? Nice full feeling in your tummy? How is your head, baby, feel better? And Shane doesn't know why it doesn't feel condescending, why it feels so fucking good to let Ilya handle him this way when they normally snarl and bite at each other after games like the one tonight and like it that way. He doesn't know why this version of Ilya's control over him feels so right and fucking special.

Shane comes twice. Once with Ilya's hand around his cock, hand fisted in Ilya's perfect hair, Ilya grunting into his neck, the beautiful sensation of Ilya's thick cock twitching inside him, ideal in almost every way. Once a little later, in Ilya's mouth after he'd come and tied off the condom and got back in bed and kissed his way slowly down Shane's body from his shoulder to his hip. A gentle, soundless orgasm that Ilya swallowed down without comment before he rested his cheek on Shane's hip and dozed for a little while.

Shane taps his chin because it's getting late and he's going to miss curfew.

"I will pay your fine," Ilya mutters next to Shane's balls.

"Bad idea," Shane mumbles. There's a beat of silence, and then he says, "We probably shouldn't...do it like that again."

Ilya, after a moment, only nods.

It's the closest they come to talking about it. The way that it gets just a bit too real sometimes. The way that they let it keep happening, each of them making eye contact with it and then plucking their own eyes out just to forget its shape.

At the door, Ilya says, "Your head feels better, yes?"

And Shane says, "Yeah, you took good care of me."

And Ilya puffs up, proud of himself, then kisses the side of Shane's head while Shane resists the urge to say Fuck, Rozanov, what did I just say, because he wants it. Goddamn it, he fucking wants it and he's tired of denying himself.

So he lets himself be held for just another minute, because someday he won't have this choice anymore.

[hr-rep]

Do yall remember how crazy it was to watch HR episode 2 and have the sex fade out to more sex. I didn’t know we knew how to do that.

[cadillacjohnf1]

unfortunately i do kinda love whatever genre of image this is

[onefabulousplatypus]

I'm howling

[countingstars-17]

he's so done

[catchymemes]

[annabelle--cane]

a vampire's long term fwbb (friend with blood benefits) making an idle remark about how it was a struggle to handle the aphrodisiac in the bite venom for the first while but now they're used to it and know to expect it and the vampire saying "hey um. so I don't have any bite venom. like at all."

[chirasul]

we got a full redbox and now we're playing go fish with the redbox movies

[chirasul]

I would never pay money for a redbox. if you ask politely and are very very persistent (i.e. annoying) they will let you take it away

here's my dad and i taking it away

a redbox makes a wonderful addition to your patio

[fishmech]

for those wondering why they're free to take now, it's because the company that made those "chicken soup for the soul" books bought them a few years ago and then completely collapsed so bad they couldn't afford to dispose of or even take the blu rays and dvds out of their kiosks all over.

so any of them is free game because they're all located on other business' property and they usually don't want to have to pay to get rid of them either. so asking the store manager usually gets you the ok to pull it out and keep it.

[chirasul]

there was a period of time right after their bankruptcy where you could put in any debit or credit card and it would spit out movies without charging you. you could even put in like an expired or deactivated card, or a visa gift card with a $0 balance, didnt matter, they'd just start spitting discs out. a lotta people raided redboxes for movies for a couple months, with some people doing what me and my brother and my dad did here, taking the whole box and signs and marquees as well. because managers sure as hell don't want a big abandoned piece of trash on their sidewalk disappointing customers. BUT they're also often too cheap to pay someone to remove it. so they just sit there.

luckily there are no shortage of freaks like us who will just take them away on our own volition. we did it all "by the book", too: we set up cones and caution tape, disconnected electricity properly, used an angle grinder to grind down the bolts in the concrete so nobody would trip on them, then cleaned everything up afterward and sealed off the electrical panel so the store would know everything is safe and tidy. though they were hesitant when we were first contacting them, they were honestly very relieved and grateful when we finally took it away, especially once they saw that we "knew what we were doing" (we don't) and look like we've "done this before" (we haven't).

the fun part: the reason why this redbox, in particular, was completely full and unraided is because the computer hardware inside had failed some months before the bankruptcy, and a failing company sure as hell wasn't gonna send a tech out to our podunk dipshit city to fix it, so it was impossible to rent movies or take any discs out. plus, for who knows how long, people were returning old redbox discs to this machine and not taking any out, leading to a much higher variety of movies than your average redbox.

there is a thriving community of redbox hackers and modders out there, as well, creating open-source software for repurposing the machines and not letting their very interesting and robust disc-management hardware go to waste. this one belongs to my brother (who was very annoying persistent and did all the legwork of contacting managers and securing permission) who is a programmer by trade and will be hacking it into a family-access movie library, with whatever discs we want. i mean the machine is completely weatherproof and has a built-in AC unit, it would be such a waste to not try to turn it into something cool.

if we get another one, i'm gonna try to mod it into some sort of art or zine vending machine. the disc boxes are just the right size for small print art or stickers. would make a great "little free library" too.

remember: the rules are made up. act like you belong there and you can get away with anything. this applies to your own life

[femdreamland]

Ilya making lunch for his kids: Healthy food cut into fun different shapes. A little sweet treat for balance. A note saying how much their dads love them 🩷

Ilya making lunch for his first daughter, Anya: Cooking her plain meat and rice and plating it in her fancy little bowl 🐶 (no canned dog food)

Ilya getting lunch for himself: Monster energy drink with one single McDonald hash brown and 3 M&Ms 🔥

[stabthroughme]

Ilya can't go back to visit his mother's grave, but sometimes higher ups from the Treasury Board in Canada do go on diplomatic missions.

David who's assigned to go on a trip to Russia after Hollanov's been outed, because he's been picking up Russian and it would be a good temperature read on the Russian counterparts.

David who visits Irina's grave and spends time cleaning it up, lights a candle and sits until long after it's burned out.

David who tells Irina about Shane as a child, who tells her about all the ways Shane and Ilya fit together, who tells her about the puzzle nights and the cookies and cream ice cream and the blanket they keep specifically for Ilya on their couch.

David who reassures Irina that he helped Ilya with his cuff links on his wedding day, tells her not to worry about her boy.

David who tells Irina that her son is so loved and cherished.

David who plants a little maple tree as a "sign of friendship" in a park across from the cemetery Irina is buried in. He got to pick the place, and he made sure she would be able to see it.

Edit may 3: Hey if you're here from threads :) Love getting jump-scared with my own tumblr post getting screenshotted (this is fine i promise, they credited me properly) but jfc. Right in front of my salad???

Yes I kissed the brick :D

[normal-about-hollanov]

ilya struggling with emergency contacts. he can't put his father. who barely remembers he has a son in the show. barely remember he has a son at all some nights. can't put his brother. god fucking forbid something happens and Alexi picks up the phone. he probably wouldn't really. wants sometimes to put his mother down so bad it hurts. an ache in his stomach that feels like a sucker punch. leaves it blank most times. when he can get away with it. puts Svetlana when he can't. lies and says she's a cousin and never tells her because she'd laugh so hard she'd probably choke. and he'd laugh too and then spend the night trying to remember what was funny anyhow. pretends he doesn't care when he watches shane fill out forms deftly. mom. dad. like it wasn't anything at all. ilya who marries shane. one day. after all that aching and waiting and preemptive and permanent grief he felt so often he forgot it was there. who gets those stupid annual papers and writes (like it isn't anything at all) Yuna. David. and has to pretend it doesn't close a gaping wound he'd been bleeding from for so long it almost scares him. to press on and find no. I belong. I have a family. a family.

[hudcon-and-on-and-on]

When the hudcon/hollanov fandom complains about too many Hudson or Connor ad campaigns, remember

Inspired by @hollanovstars