Life And Shit

She/her, bi Life, and fandoms are life, but honestly this is a bunch of random shit, like history, animals, paintings/art, queer stuff, fashion, etc.

[olanrogers]

#ripvine Even though I only ever did like 9 vines 😂

[mishi-mish-mosh]

THIS CAT’S NAME IS FUCKING STARSCREAM

[transformers-why]

IM LOVING THIS SO MUCH

[sorrynomoretaee]

LETS GO GET SOME TATER TOTS!

[anexperimentallife]

The director of cybersecurity from the Electronic Freedom Foundation is offering to help women who have been threatened with compromise of their devices.

[littlewitchlingrowan]

I better see EVERYBODY reblogging this

[c3rvida3]

It is with a heavy heart that I am forced to announce that I must disassemble my lawn chunks.

[c3rvida3]

Yes, my critically tolerated yard sculpture “Lawn Chunks”, after having received glowing reviews such as: “Is that just like a whole ass fucking tree or what?”; “How’d you fit that in the Buick?”; and, “Patsy Ann, please stop putting chunks everywhere, it looks like a mummified octopus,” is unfortunately no more, as my dad wishes to “not have to look at this thing every goddamn day”.

As I cannot reasonably fit “Lawn Chunks” into the new apartment, her skeletal bits shall be removed and made into like maybe a jewelry stand or something, and this big ass piece of wood will be respectfully thrown over the guard rail, where hopefully my dad will not see it and yell and yell and yell because I lied and said I would not throw it over the guard rail. There are train tracks down there, and while I do not think I can throw that hard, I bet it would look incredibly sick if this thing got hit by a train.

RIP.

[c3rvida3]

Stereotypes like this are the exact reason my chunks are being unjustly terminated, and I hope you have trouble sleeping at night knowing that Lawn Chunk’s innocent splinters are on your hands.

[c3rvida3]

I call this one “Hmm This is a Pretty Fucked Up Thing to Find in the Woods and It’s Absolutely Haunted But Residual Catholic Guilt Prevents Me From Throwing It Away So I Guess It’s in a Tree Now”:

And this is a little installation known as: “I Took This Behind the Garage to Fix It and Forgot About It For Like a Whole Three Months and I Think There’s Ticks in It Now Which Isn’t Great Probably”.

I’m really just out here living my life like a cryptic swamp hag in a low budget backwoods slasher flick, and I mean, it’s fine, it’s sexy, but also I’m very concerned as to how exactly I’m going to survive in an apartment.

[ftafp]

Fun fact! According to folklorists, all myths, fairy tales and nursery rhymes that are about some dude named Jack are talking about the same guy

What this means is, that ever single one of the following

Jack Be Nimble (who jumped over burning candles for fun)

Jack the Giant Killer (who sold his cows for magic beans then robbed and killed a giant)

Stingy Jack (who tricked the devil so many times he was banned from both afterlives)

Jack of Jack and Jill (who splattered his head open falling down a hill)

Jack o’ Lantern (the headless horseman spirit of halloween)

Jack Frost (the spirit who heralds the end of autumn and the start of winter)

Are literally the same jackass who made so many bad life choices he ended up an immortal ice dullahan with a pumpkin serving as both his head and flashlight

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

but what an incredible journey he had getting there

[gh0stcity]

One thing I’ve learned in life, if you act really self-assured and confident you can pretty much get away with anything.

[gh0stcity]

For example, I’ve watched someone walk on to a plane with no passport. Just walked right on.

[jennitheodd]

Once walked out of a dude’s house with a pair of his pants slung over my shoulder. Did all the usual eye-contact, saying-goodbye movements and noises, just… while stealing his pants. He did not notice. 

[razorlightt-deactivated20161221]

I told my English teacher that she graded my final paper(I did not turn one in) and that she told me it was well written. She scrambled 3 days trying to find the nonexistent paper, then apologized to me for losing it and gave me a 96%. Confidence is key

[whiskey-and-a-wry-smile-blog]

my dad’s mate just walked out of a shop with a canoe and didn’t get questioned

[matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll]

Humans are like bees: if they sense you’re an intruder all hell will break loose, but if you get inside the hive they just assume you belong there. Be confident.

[minero-tan]

Bee confident

[88thparallel]

This is funny but also true, and a huge tip when traveling. Act like you belong, and you won’t be bothered like other tourists might. Especially on public transportation… do your research ahead of time and look like a disinterested commuter and you’ll blend right in.

[butterfly-bandaid]

Fun Fact about Bees: they use pheromones to communicate and the pheromone to signal ALARM is the same chemical that makes bananas smell like bananas so if you eat a banana and then breathe on a beehive you will regret it and this seemed relevant when i started writing it

[marsplanetpalace-deactivated202]

Everyone who reblogs this post before October 31 2018 will get a jack o lantern version of their icon. Like mine!

[marsplanetpalace-deactivated202]

Everyone who reblogs this post before October 31 2018 will get a jack o lantern version of their icon. Like mine!

[quirkdotcom]

!!

[aboveconstant12]

If this shit is fake I’m calling you out on it lmao

[vittyyluvscookies]

Am I wet? Am I on my period? Did I pee my pants?- next on wtf is going on down there.

[submissivefeminist]

I’m so glad this is a universal wondering among vagina-owners, haha.

[chaotichowlite]

‘Vagina-owners’

[anxiousnerd]

Tune in next time for: Are these menstrual cramps? Am I pregnant? Is it just gas? I wouldn’t have to ask these questions if I didn’t have a damn uterus

[sexylibrarian1]

Next week: Is it a bladder infection? An ovarian cyst? Do I have endometriosis? Oh God please do not let it be cervical cancer! A 20/20 special

[occupyvenus]

Y'all are forgetting the all-time classic: Is it just my period or is my appendix about to burst? Some nice tea and a heatpack or 911 and emergency surgery?

[phantoms-lair]

There is actually a test for that last one!

Place your hand over the pain, press down slightly and release. If the pain doesn’t change by any great margin, you’re fine. If it suddenly becomes some painful you can barely stand, Get thee to an Emergency Room

[taysweetbae]

reblog for the safety of vaginas and their owners

[greedyagain]

The appendix test works with or without a vagina so reblogging for everyone.

[eurynomephoenix18]

Visit Original Link

[doc-coyote]

Originally posted by anchosixx

[coelasquid]

I’m okay with Halloween starting now.

[zodiacdad-blog1]

i pressed play and my cat fell off the windowsill :(

ITS TIME ITS TIME ITS T I M E

[leonhartgolden]

my body is ready 

[stark-raven-mad]

Originally posted by twenty1-grams

[stark-raven-mad]

THE COUNTDOWN HAS BEGUN, WHO’S READY TO GET SPOOPY!

[nerdy-ai-deactivated20170913]

Originally posted by weirdandcreepygifs

[warmelon-blog]

Originally posted by docile-potato

[calicotails]

it’s t i m e

Originally posted by lookhuman

[keechoo-deactivated20200120]

yes

Originally posted by thequeenofnightlyrics

Originally posted by h-otokichan

Jack is my favorite pixar character

Yeah he’s from pixar totally

[epicbattler3-deactivated2021090]

Originally posted by jjjjjjjjjjohn

[twisted-trash-deactivated201712]

Originally posted by horrorjapan

[papuzo]

[just-a-space-nugget]

[d-voldo-deactivated20190607]

A lesson that we can’t afford not to be taught.

[hypnotic-flow]

let’s spread this again and again and again

[the-memedaddy]

[homoluigi]

In case anyone’s wondering is because getting an x ray once is so barely harmful that it rounds to zero but standing in front of an x ray emitter 40 hours a week for years will definitely kill you

[iridepigs]

If I go to the bar and have one drink with the bartender I’ll be fine. If the bartender has a drink with every patron then they will die

[jezi-belle]

… I honestly never considered that. It seems so obvious but never crossed my mind. Thank you, twinkcommunist and iridepigs.

[staff]

if you fuckers do the skeleton war shit again this year we’re deleting the website for real

[folkmetaltransfag]

en garde motherfuckers

[rslashrats]

you know what day it is……….

[pro-gay]

Hm. I must say, I was very anti-sport before but after being on tumblr.com for a while I definitely identify with jocks. Unlike nerds, they’ve never made me read sherlock mpreg miscarriage on the Harry Potter train AU Masterposts. They only wanna kick their balls and take booty pics. I’m sorry i took u for granted, jocks

[agreedt]

The jocks were only trying to protect us all this time

[pro-gay]

They pushed nerds into lockers when no one else did

[marsplanetpalace-deactivated202]

Everyone who reblogs this post before October 31 2018 will get a jack o lantern version of their icon. Like mine!

[zintersoldier]

white person: *eats chicken tikka masala once* i just…. i feel so connected… to indian culture …. I’m learning to speak islam…. check out my third eye….. chakra

[teaboot]

Every time I see this. Every damn time. I’m immediately sucked back into my fuckin. Fuckin English lit class with Mr. Fuckass McShit. Mr. “Hit the gong to begin class”, “Namaste, Children”, “I wanna go backpacking in India to find my spiritual awakening and also my left burkinstock that I lost during a cedar sauna drum circle” ass bastard. “Do you want to share your poetry with the class to get in touch with your emotions” ass fucker. Mr. “Here’s a photograph of a tribal shaman, describe him using nature words” asshole. Pretentious-ass, condescending motherfucker. “Do you want to tell us about your saddest memory?” “I dunno, sir. Are you giving me an option?” “No.” “Then why are you asking” Every goddamn day. Fuck. “You seem tense.” Oh, I seem tense? I seem tense. Well fuck, Professor Pillsbury, maybe I ‘seem tense’ because I walk into a room on five hours of sleep to the sound of a goddamn brass gong drilling through my brain and your seven-foot-nine, socks-and-sandals-wearing, patchouli-smelling ass immediately gravitates in my direction with some shit like “a tree……… Is a Poem” and I gotta sit here and politely tell you that No I’m Not Comfortable Telling The Class About A Time I Was Emotionally Vulnerable With A Loved One using words that sound like the way the color yellow smells. Maybe I don’t wanna sit in a circle and hold hands with Brittney from Computer Sciences to “align our auras” or some shit. Fuck. Fuuuuuuck. I swear to God, if I wanted to sing ‘kumbaya’ with a smelly old guy with gross facial hair who writes bad porn on the side, I’d go out to the parking lot and share a Hookah with Crazy Dan, the disgraced electrician. What, I don’t wanna do an interpretive dance to represent the spiritual experience of eating Quinoa in a room full of ambivalent preteens and suddenly I’m the ‘troubled youth’ you need to Robin Williams “O Captain My Captain” your way into having a Paternal Bonding Moment powerful enough to Expand My Impressionable Young Mind and Turn My Life Around, you goddamn saint, you? Jesus Fucking Christ. You insufferable jackass. You’re not “Enlightened”, you rolled out of bed and ate half a pot brownie, wrote a sad song about a leaf, and strolled into class to ramble about your Spirit Animal for six hours straight before calling it a day. Holy Jesus goddamned Christ. Fucking Balls, sir. Holy Fucking Balls

[rockerchicktravellinwidthedoctor]

Okay but I wanna know what Crazy Dan did to become a disgraced electrician

[gayfeatherfiend]

What a goddamn ride.

[snugglebearinc]

[naamahdarling]

I’m losing my fucking mind.

[kittykat8311]

oh my god

[cryptid-sighting]

my favorite part is that the guys just go along with it in spite of confusion/misgivings because they don’t want to miss out on stickers.

[signherepleased]

My favorite post

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

This is surprisingly wholesome.

[the-stickers]

the power of stickers