Sometimes, I find it fun how this blog should have been about my depression, but it has manifested into a physical thing. I can't help, but I just can't believe that I'm the victim. This is something else.
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@felixwhiteee
Sometimes, I find it fun how this blog should have been about my depression, but it has manifested into a physical thing. I can't help, but I just can't believe that I'm the victim. This is something else.
People are like: "AI is ruining our education!", "AI makes you dumb!", "AI rots your brain!"
Bro, I might surprise you, but everything will ruin your education if you won't use your brains. Of course you won't learn everything if you ask it to solve things for you, instead of explaining it to you. I've literally learnt and understood chemistry just by using Gemini, ChatGPT and DeepSeek. Although, I've always thought that it was a hard subject, when it is so easy, when being explained properly.
"Ohhh, I'm sorry for not taking you with myself, I mean, what if you have an seizure? I will not be able to help you, there are no hospital nearby!!"
A case of ableism I've endured and kind of want to share, because... I have all the rights to do so.
I'm a person that loves studying and one day I was in my class for exam preparation as my teacher started insisting on me choosing the simplified exams, because what if I feel bad? What if I can't handle the thing?
I have a literal diagnosed PTSD because of neglect with myself and yet... People like her love triggering it!
The Chronic's Manifesto: Why "Chronically Ill" is a Rank, Not a Diagnosis
You call us "disabled." You see weakness, limitations, a metro pass discount. You offer pity.
We call ourselves CHRONICS.
And here is why that is a badge of honor.
A Chronic is not someone who "can't." A Chronic is someone who is forced to do everything DIFFERENTLY.
While you run, we calculate every step so the "heron pose" on the bus doesn't turn into a fall.
While you forget to eat,we cross-reference our troop deployment schedule (medications) so our own biochemistry doesn't mutiny against us.
While you think about your career,we think about how to get through tomorrow without a flare-up.
Our lives are not defined by a lack of ability. They are defined by a permanent campaign for survival on the territory of our own bodies.
We are not "sick." We are veterans. Veterans of a quiet, invisible war that is fought every single day.
· Our weapons are not swords, but pill schedules, breathing exercises, and the willpower to simply get out of bed.
· Our armor is not steel, but the dark humor that saves us from despair, and the rage that refuses to let us surrender.
· Our battle is not for land, but for every "normal" day, wrestled from the jaws of pain, fatigue, and fear.
You fear having one seizure in public. We have been negotiating with ours for years.
You say: "I am sick, I need treatment."
We say:"I am in remission," "I am in a quiet phase," "I am having a good day." We speak the language of tacticians and strategists, not patients.
Pity? We don't need it. It is demeaning.
What we need is respect. Respect for our hard-won knowledge of our own conditions, for our right to name our own struggle, and for our incredible, titanic strength that you often fail to even see.
You see a crutch. We see a tool that allowed us to travel one more meter.
You see pills.We see artillery support, without which our front lines would collapse.
So the next time you meet a "Chronic," don't offer pity.
Just know: you are in the presence of a warrior. Perhaps the most resilient one you will ever meet.
PTSD core:
Start to feel sleepy from 9:00-10:00 PM, but then wake up at 3 AM without a want for continuing sleep.
Just got diagnosed with PTSD. Who knew that medical neglect can lead to that... Well, basic chronic illness experience.
It's actually so comforting to have classmates with mental illnesses or issues. Like, yeah, I'm not alone in this shit!
"Are you okay? I noticed that you lost weight..."
The guilt after getting ill is consuming me away. I wish, I was able to change or heal.
Metro reading experience
Metro 2033: wow what a ride. Let's check what else is there. Metro 2034: Metro 2035: anyway.
I may not understand psychosomatic disorders, but damn, people definitely should stop stigmatizing them. Like, why the fuck it's called pseudo just because it has mental origin? You wouldn't call someone depression pseudo, so why the fuck you're calling functional symptoms pseudo?
Guys with FND/Conversion disorder/Idk, whatever you call it, you're completely valid. I genuinely don't care about your disease being psychogenic, you're still a legend with completely real symptoms, just not psychical origin.
PNES are PNES. It's a psychological, conversion, functional, dissociative seizure. Of course it's non-epileptic. But. Often missing the word of the seizure being functional can harm those who have non-epileptic, but NOT psychological seizures.
Non-epileptic ≠ Functional.
Get over it.
"Epilepsy this!" "PNES that!"
Yeah, yeah... I got it, now, when will we bring awareness about paroxysmal dyskensias? I bet, there's at least one person who's reading this post and instead of FND has some kind of dyskensia. Do not let doctors down your disorder. The thing that might be seen as psychogenic, can actually be a genetic.
Bring awareness about paroxysmal dyskensias. Do not let them put us down.
Non-epileptic seizure doesn't mean that the seizure is due to FND or PNES! There are much more conditions than epilepsy and PNES. Stop seeing only white and black, when there exists a gray side.
When you suddenly realize that you need to do your lessons, but your whole body is hurting and also twitchy and a small activity could turn you into a shaking mess:
Sometimes it amuses me how if epileptic will have 6 seizures in one day, they will be hospitalised immediately and given treatment, while with dyskensias they just... Give the "Well, damn, but you're conscious during seizures." Yeah, I am, but why the fuck I had 6 in a row?? Sometimes, I think that tearing my ligament wouldn't be as hard as getting treatment, lol.