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noise dept.
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PR's Tumblrdome
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Love Begins
tumblr dot com
Jules of Nature
d e v o n
@theartofmadeline
$LAYYYTER
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Product Placement
we're not kids anymore.
Misplaced Lens Cap
Acquired Stardust
Janaina Medeiros
Three Goblin Art
Andulka
izzy's playlists!
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@iamsuggestingthatcoconutsmigrate
title of this is just ‘lesbian sex’
lot of terfs have been reblogging this so I may as well publicly state that the woman on the right is modeled with permission after my transfemme friend. if you relate to it as strongly as many of you claim in the tags I urge you to reflect upon that with empathy and compassion about the depth of experiences you truly do share with trans women.
otherwise fuck off I guess. my art is not fuel for your hatred.
Recently managed to activate the most amazing infodump trap card.
I was driving through Vermont with a friend, and we pulled over at a tiny shop offering Maple Items. We were on the state highway, not the interstate, so "pulling over" meant "squeezing my tiny car into a parking bay the size of a broad highway shoulder."
As we got out of the car, an older woman emerged from behind the building where she had been pruning her roses. She introduced herself as Tammy.
Her shop offered the promised variety of Maple, but also a number of small antiques and a plethora of dog figurines, plaques, and clearly-hand-stitched garden flags.
A huge purple ribbon hung on the wall behind the register, along with many pictures of small dogs. This was no county fair ribbon. It was the size of my torso. The material had the soft sheen of actual silk.
As I placed my purchases on the counter, I asked, "Do you... Breed dogs?"
Yes. She does. She has bred Yorkies for the last 40 years. Her mother bred Yorkies before her. The purple ribbon was from her national championship winning Yorkie.
You may be expecting that the infodump was going to be about Yorkies.
It was not.
It was about 40 years of drama in the Yorkie breeding community. Where – you must understand – the judging at shows is often about who you're in with, not about the dogs. This is especially true when Tammy's opponents win anything.
And Tammy's mother! Well. Phyllis has been on the Yorkie scene since Yorkies were invented. Because of this, many women of equally venerable age hold deep grudges against Phyllis. The sort of grudges that result in episodes of Midsommar Murders.
This led to deep injustices against Phyllis on the part of judges and prevented her dogs from winning so often she retired from the scene. Judging is all about who you're friends with, after all.
After 20 years in hiding, Phyllis – the One True Queen of Yorkie Breeding – hatched a plot. She may have been out of the show circuit, but she was still breeding dogs. She entered an absolutely perfect bitch in the national competition, but sent her with a handler rather than go in person.
None of the usurpers knew who this dog belonged to, and in dog-breeding circles this Does Not Happen. This could have resulted in further injustices, but Phyllis was crafty. She knew this tournament was being judged by a man from the UK, who knew naught of the drama in the US Yorkie Empire.
With these advantages – and being the best dog there – Phyllis's bitch won the highest honor at the show.
Incensed by this insult to their ill-gotten supremacy, the other owners descended on the handler after the show, demanding to know for whom he was working.
"Phyllis," said he.
The name of the overthrown queen evoked horror in the usurpers.
"PHYLLIS!? She's still ALIVE!???"
Yes, Phyllis yet lived, and this bitch – the dog, not the woman – went on to mother Tammy's current dogs. One of whom, Lucy-Fur, is the reincarnation of Tammy's sister (also Lucy). This is certain for two reasons.
Firstly, Sister Lucy absolutely went straight to Hell upon her death, and Lucy-Fur the dog is positively as evil as Sister Lucy was.
Secondly, Sister Lucy always said when she died she wanted to come back as one of Phyllis's dogs because "mom treated the dogs better than us."
There are multiple chapters that are set in hospitals where the characters are attempting to recover from injuries that never fully heal. I must once again stress that my experience in WWI was perfectly normal.
There is a giant horrible mudplain full of unrecoverable and perfectly preserved dead bodies that the characters have to walk through in a land where the air is poisoned gas, and on a compLETELY UNRELATED NOTE: WWI WAS TOTALLY FINE AND NORMAL!!
Uh??? Tolkien did not claim that???
"One has indeed personally to come under the shadow of war to feel fully its oppression; but as the years go by it seems now often forgotten that to be caught in youth by 1914 was no less hideous an experience than to be involved in 1939 and the following years. By 1918, all but one of my close friends were dead."
He talked about how WWI affected his writing all the time, he was not in denial for how it affected??? Am I missing something????
https://www.tolkiensociety.org/blog/2017/09/tolkien-as-war-novelist-another-way-of-dealing-with-trauma-through-writing/
what Tolkien was adamant about, which has been confusing people for several decades now, is that he wasn't writing about World War Two
He was also very clear that he was not writing allegory. Now, some people are not very clear on what allegory means. "Allegory" and "symbols" are not the same thing. Allegory is a type of symbolism, but there are a lot of ways of doing symbolism that aren't allegory ... and a lot of people are kind of fuzzy on that. The way allegory is most commonly used in literary and religious analysis is that there is a direct, almost 1:1 correspondence between the literary figure and what it is standing in for.
So, for example, Pilgrim's Progress is an allegory of Christian salvation. It's sort of a novel? There are characters who do stuff? but also they are very one-dimensional. The main character is a guy named Christian--yes, really!--who is journeying from his hometown ("the city of destruction") to the Celestial City (heaven). There is not much subtlety to it. It is pretty much what it is. There is no slippage, no playing around with the theme, no places where the symbolism is ambiguous. John Bunyan, the author, is hitting you over the head every step of the way with the Meaning That You Are Supposed To Be Getting From The Story.
Not all allegories are that crude or simplistic; the Narnia books are also allegory for Christianity. They have a lot more subtlety to them and a lot more nuance, and there's a lot of stuff in there that isn't allegorical, but on the crucial matters there is still a 1:1 correspondence. Aslan is Jesus. He's not like Jesus, he's not a character that has some similarities to Jesus or takes themes from the stories of Jesus, he is Jesus.
Tolkien is not doing allegory. Tolkien is taking the material of his life--his faith, his experiences in WWI, his linguistic and historical knowledge, his favorite books--and using them as the building blocks of his story. The themes and imagery and symbols draw heavily from all of that, the characters and settings draw heavily from all of that, but they are too complex to be allegorical. There's a lot of symbolism! It's not allegory.
So, for example, let's take the Dead Marshes referenced above. Does the experience of walking through this muddy wasteland with corpses all around that are rotting but still look like people draw from Tolkien's WWI battlefield experience of dead bodies in the trenches? Of course it does! but there are also a lot of differences. These dead are not from the current war, they are from a previous one--they are a reminder of old conflicts, of the ways the systems and powers of the current war have not come out of nowhere, there is history here. There is meaning that is not drawn from the Somme. And they are also drawing from literary references Tolkien was familiar with--primarily William Morris. Modern readers don't get the references because we have generally not read The House of the Wolflings, but that doesn't mean that the references aren't there.
So people read Tolkien's insistence that he didn't write allegory, and take that to mean that he's saying there isn't symbolic and thematic references. And that isn't what he meant! And also, we focus so much on the thematic references to WWI and Christianity, and we miss most of the other references, which makes it seem like Tolkien's only drawing on WWI, when he's actually doing something more complex.
do not taste plants if you don't know what they are
do not identify a fruit as edible just because it tastes sweet
hope you didn't eat any fucking seeds, bro
And today, we have this winner:
I saw the photo in my feed and went ohh, dude, no, we do not handle yellow rocks with our bare hands until we know for sure what they are. And I know that orange...
In comments, they continue:
and that's where I started cussing at the computer monitor. But someone else had got there first:
So just as a reminder, folks. If you don't know what it is, don't put it in your fucking mouth!
YOU GODDAMN STUPID MOTHERFUCKER
Good fucking god, people, if you don't know what it is, DON'T PUT IT IN YOUR STUPID MOUTH.
Oh my god. Good lord. I learned that when I was TINY. I was the tiniest, dumbest baby child and I knew better than to do this. What is wrong with you.
At Halloween last year, the tiniest little girl dressed as one of the Folk came to my door. There's an increasingly magnificent native beautyberry to one side of my stoop, with its marvelous electric purple berries served up in great tumbles, and she was transfixed by it. She got her candy, I complimented her costume, she started down the stairs, and then stopped, and turned back around. Her: "Are those for-eating berries?" Me: "Oh, you are so smart and clever for asking first! That is such a good idea, I'm so impressed! These are Callicarpa, called beautyberry, and they are edible. Usually they are for cooking, though, to make syrup or jam, and they're not very nice right off the bush. But they are a food berry, and you're so smart to ask!" Her: "Can I...try one?" Me: "If your mother says you may." Her mother, from the walk: "Are you SURE, like, 100% sure. That those are food." Me: "A hundred percent sure, ma'am. I could show you a couple of websites on them, if you want." The Girl: *waits for her mother's nod, then gently reaches out and takes three very small berries and puts them into her mouth* The Girl: *makes an inquisitive face as she chews, walking down the path toward her mother* Me, turning back inside: "Husband, you should have seen this very smart little girl just now!"
This is the reason I don't plant foxglove in my flowerbed, even though I love it -- I live right next to a playground.
LARP years and years ago someone playing a "quirky" character (JFC) was chewing on some leaves and grass fine whatever. Then I saw them pick up this bitch:
Those of you who's sphincter just tightened, congratulations you make it through night one of the Hunger Games. Everyone else, that's fuckin poison hemlock. It'll kill ya real dead.
My hand snapped out and slapped the small spray of flowers from their hand.
"What the fuck?!"
"Out of character, that's hemlock. It's very toxic, so you are going to not touch anything, and go to the kitchen and wash your hands with cool water and dish detergent and never do that again. Stop."
They were less mad after that.
happy werewolf transgenderism wednesday
happy werewolf transgenderism wednesday
Happy Pride
It's been a while since I said "this person wins the internet", but today it is merited.
(via bsky)
(The classic XKCD comic)
Gaycation - “USA”
Real and growing possibility of him dying live on tv and nobody in the room noticing for minutes on end.
Likes charge, reblogs cast.
Here's a legal PSA:
If you've committed a crime and a detective gathers everyone involved in the room, especially if he's not actually a detective and is instead a novelist, puzzle-setter, psychic, fake psychic, dog, chess grandmaster, etc. ...
YOU SHOULD NOT CONFESS.
Every year, hundreds of people are put away by non-traditional "detectives" who have either inserted themselves into the case or are working with the police in a dubiously legal capacity as advisor. In 99% of these cases, the murderer gives a full confession even though the evidence against them is circumstantial at best and often requires a long just-so story which can only guess at motive.
If this happens to you, stay quiet, do not attempt to defend yourself or talk your way out of it, only say "I want a lawyer".
Now if you find yourself being investigated by a boy genius, magician's assistant, anthropologist, classics scholar, or philosopher, it's likely that refusing to talk to the police (or investigator with no legal authority) is merely the end of the second act, and by the end of the third act they will have you dead to rights.
YOU SHOULD STILL NOT CONFESS.
Make them take it to court. Force the eccentric detective and his straight-laced police partner to take the stand and explain their methods to a jury of your peers. Have your lawyer look at the chain of custody on the evidence, especially if you believe it to have been handled by someone who has only bumbled into detective work through their natural charm and/or unique set of skills and outsider perspective that come in handy more often than they should.
Know your rights. Don't let eccentric detectives put you away.
my fav pokemon fact is that 25% of marill are canonically trans masc
the gender ratio for azurill is 75% female whilst for marill it’s only 50%.
also look how much happier he is post transition! go on king <3
happy pride month to transgender marill pokemon <3
it's actually so crazy how much the simpsons would fucking suck if it didn't have any of the simpsons characters. just a bunch of shots of empty houses and streets for half an hour while nothing happens. that would be so badddd lol
yeah that tends to happen when you remove characters from media. without characters its all just background. i guess movies set in scenic locations would still land as kinda nature docs but even then
it only happens with the simpsons
this same criticism could be applied to nearly any media ever.
it's just the simpsons. are you a troll?
Dragon's right, if you remove all the Simpsons characters from Death Note it hardly changes anything
post so ancient the profile pic faded
“Because the truth is, tech doesn’t have an image problem. It doesn’t have a message problem. It has an intention problem. What’s wrong with the axe murderer who broke into my house is not that he hasn’t successfully persuaded me to buy into his narrative. What’s wrong is that he’s trying to kill me with an axe. Similarly, when you launch a product that’s designed to put millions of people out of work, block access to sources of verifiable truth, replace human creativity with slop, and lower the barriers to every sort of atrocity, the problem isn’t that you haven’t told the public a good story about those things. The problem is that you are trying to do them.”
— The 40 Most Rage-Inducing Problems in Tech
If you're just learning about this, some of the other questions you might ask yourself next are: - Why the fuck is there even a US military base in Aruba? - Why the fuck are there even 4 US military bases in Australia? - Why the fuck is there even a US military base in the Bahamas? - Why the fuck are there even 2 US military bases in Bahrain? - Why the fuck are there even 3 US military bases in Belgium? - Why the fuck are there even 2 US military bases in Bulgaria? - Why the fuck is there even a US military base in Chagos archipelago apparently aka "British Indian Territory"? - Why the fuck is there even a US military base in Cuba? (this is of course Guantanamo bay, which is just straight up an illegal occupation of a foreign country to host a US torture prison) - Why the fuck are there even 2 US military bases in Djibouti? - Why the fuck is there even a US military base in Egypt? - Why the fuck is there even a US military base in Estonia? - Why the fuck are there even 3 US military bases in Greece? - Why the fuck is there even a US military base in Greenland? - Why the fuck are there even 6 US military bases in Germany? - Why the fuck is there even a US military base in St. Helena? - Why the fuck is there even a US military base in Honduras? - Why the fuck are there even 2 US military bases in Hungary? - Why the fuck is there even a US military base in Iceland? - Why the fuck are there even 2 US military bases in Iraq? (when the Iraqi government keeps demanding that the US leave the country) - Why the fuck are there even 7 US military bases in Italy? - Why the fuck are there even 8 US military bases in Japan, if you exclude the several bases on Okinawa? It's 13 including the ones on Okinawa. - Why the fuck is there even a US military base in Jordan? - Why the fuck are there even 2 US military bases in Kenya? - Why the fuck is there even a US military base in Kosovo? - Why the fuck are there even 5 US military bases in Kuwait? - Why the fuck is there even a US military base in Latvia? - Why the fuck are there even 2 US military bases in Lithuania? - Why the fuck is there even a US military base in the Marshall Islands? - Why the fuck is there even a US military base in Norway? - Why the fuck is there even a US military base in Oman? - Why the fuck are there even 9 US military bases in the Philippines? - Why the fuck are there even 5 US military bases in Papua New Guinea? - Why the fuck are there even 5 US military bases in Poland? - Why the fuck is there even a US military base in Portugal? - Why the fuck is there even a US military base in Qatar? - Why the fuck are there even 3 US military bases in Romania? - Why the fuck are there even 2 US military bases in Saudi Arabia? - Why the fuck is there even a US military base in Singapore? - Why the fuck is there even a US military base in El Salvador? - Why the fuck are there even 2 US military bases in Somalia? - Why the fuck are there even 8 US military bases in South Korea? - Why the fuck are there even 2 US military bases in Spain? - Why the fuck are there even 2 US military bases in Syria? - Why the fuck are there even 2 US military bases in Turkiye? - Why the fuck are there even 2 US military bases in the United Arab Emirates? - Why the fuck are there even 5 US military bases in the United Kingdom? Note: This list (that i got from this website cause their data was pretty recent and they had it in a handy list form) does not even seem to include things like the military airbase in the Netherlands where the americans keep nuclear bombers, or shannon airfield in ireland that the americans get to use freely for their genocide in Palestine, and used for their wars in afghanistan and iraq, so this list seems to be very far from complete.
My latest Guardian Books cartoon.
p.s. I’m on a German book tour: come and see me in Berlin (mon), Frankfurt (tue), or Munich (wed). Details at www.tomgauld.com
