sure why not

[guerrillatech]

[pisshandkerchief-deactivated202]

Holy shit that's so cool

[knightofleo]

[beckiboos]

Finally “do you love the colour of the sky” got compressed for our convenience

[kandykittixd]

This is now my favorite photo

[liberalsarecool]

Free Palestine. #AaronBushnell

[no-longer-another-bondi-blonde]

This wins the internet for 2024!! 😂😂

[no-longer-another-bondi-blonde]

Brilliant 😂😂

[angietherose]

I needed a good laugh 🤣

[purlturtle]

You're laughing.

She's there upside down tits out feet stuck and you're laughing.

[kaijuno]

If the USA is so great then why did they make a USB?

[bonyassfish]

[kaijuno]

Yeah okay that’s fair

[gen-is-gone]

Lady on the bus next to me: Tell me again- what are you not going to do in daycare today?

Little boy: I will not hit the teacher with a light saber.

Lady: And why are you not going to hit her with a light saber?

Boy: It is my toy, and my choice, but if I hit her with the light saber, I’m acting like a Sith.

Lady: Do you want to be a Sith?

Boy: No! I am Obi-Wan!

[the-haiku-bot]

Lady: And why are

you not going to hit her

with a light saber?

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

[imawriterdamnit]

I’m a bit of a rabble rouser.

How exciting!

[xspiderfanx]

"I can't wrestle" "they say that about me too, don't worry about it."

[the-haiku-bot]

“I can’t wrestle” “they

say that about me too, don’t

worry about it.”

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[apollos-boyfriend]

the fact that we only have “herculean task” and “sisyphean task” feels so limiting. so here’s a few more tasks for your repertoire

icarian task: when you have a task you know you’re going to fail at anyways, so why not have some fun with it before it all comes crashing down

cassandrean task: when you have to deal with people you KNOW won’t listen to you, despite having accurate information, and having to watch them fumble about when you told them the solution from the start (most often witnessed in customer service)

feel free to chime in i ran out of ideas much faster than i anticipated

[sherbertilluminated]

Promethean task: opposite of a Cassandraean task. You have the right information, and SOMEONE has to share it. But it's all in the delivery and if you're the person to identify the problem you WILL be hated forever.

[thearrogantemu]

Oedipal Task: (1) Attempting to avoid an unspeakably awful outcome and in doing so creating the circumstances that will bring it about. (2) Trying to solve an problem and discovering that you are in fact the problem you are trying to solve.

[theoppositeofprofound]

Odyssean task: you’ll complete it but it’ll take 20 times longer than it should and involve multiple side quests and mini-adventures

[lierdumoa]

Pandorean task: some people fucked around and now it's your job to make sure they find out

[stuckinapril]

I could get over anything as long as I have something new to be obsessed with

[stuckinapril]

girls when they don’t have a new obsession that helps them dissociate from their problems and they’re actually forced to face their thoughts

[valtsv]

the tracking service for online orders at work keeps glitching and showing the drivers' location as somewhere off the african coast, so me and my coworkers have developed a ritual of standing in a circle and chanting "banished to the ocean. banished to the ocean." like evil sorcerers each time we go to accept an order and every time the location tracker shows them lost at sea we high five and cheer

[nudibranchparty]

NULL ISLAND

CAN WE GET SOME APPLAUSE FOR NULL ISLAND

BANISHED TO THE OCEAN!

(It's 0° N, 0° E, so lots of gps glitches return that point when they fuck up.)

[valtsv]

[desert-palm]

[liberalsarecool]

Mental health PSA.

[depsidase]

[akashicrecord]

you ever been milked big time?

I was the only almond at Silk for 5 years

[odinsblog]

NASA Data Sonification: Black Hole Remix

In this sonification of Perseus. the sound waves astronomers previously identified were extracted and made audible for the first time. The sound waves were extracted outward from the center. (source)

[sleepy-bebby]

“You’re not for the streets Pricilla.”

[buttercup-gamer]

Absolutely

[greentrickster]

People discussing ‘unhinged’ fanfiction always seem to talk about dark!fic or explicit stuff, as opposed to the truly unhinged stuff like the fic author zapping all their favs from a story onto a set, assigning them roles, and forcing them to act out popular movies. Because, let me tell you, I read a fic like that with the original Yugioh cast acting out Disney’s Aladdin approximately fifteen years ago, and it is to this day one of the one of the most unhinged pieces of media I’ve ever consumed.

[getintherobot]

????????

[huffylemon]

[triviallytrue]

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

[friendshapedhole]

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

[triviallytrue]

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

[max1461]

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

[triviallytrue]

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

[ghostpalmtechnique]

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

[triviallytrue]

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

[a-girl-with-sparkling-lies]

Mambas are shy as hell and their first instinct is going to be to speed away from you and hide. They do not want the smoke with you unless you corner them, and in an entire mall you’ll never be anywhere close to encountering them. This is the obvious choice.

Gorillas do not naturally want beef with anyone either, so unless you are actively provoking the silverback he is not going to give a fck about you just vibing in his general vicinity. Second pick only because unlike the snakes he ain’t afraid of you and if he decides the mall is his territory you cannot beat him to death with a stick.

Chimps will commit homocide on sight for no other reason than the memes. Fling yourself from the roof, it is the better option than letting them catch you.

[memewhore]