Eat the Rude 🍽️ @kimmywholocked - Tumblr Blog

immortality as theft (you have to steal life from something else) immortality as parasitism (there is something else inside You that is keeping you alive and you become less of yourself more and more the longer it stays in you) immortality as violence (everything is trying to kill you because everything is supposed to die and the universe will always try to find a way to right the wrong that is You) you understand

sceptixfakemon

this heatwave fucking sucks how am I going to serve my liege like this

sceptixfakemon

im never leaving this hellsite

sceptixfakemon

i swear if this is the second stupid sword picture post i make that gets to 10k i'll just go kill someone

sceptixfakemon

FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!

exhuastedpigeon

The first rule of fandom is have fun. The second rule of fandom is find an enabler and become an enabler. Yes you should write that fic. What if it was even hornier? What if it was angstier? What if you wrote it just for me?

makesomenoise

Ohhh Jesus needs to hear about this 🙏

were--ralph

i would genuinely watch an entire episode of this their synergy is insane

memorydatas

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

memorydatas

for context:

dragonquestv

an-actual-lion-deactivated20200

“Beep Beep Bitch, You’re Gay!”

leolikesaccountability

Updated the lesbian flag and added nonbinary, pan, ace, and aro for all your tacky LBGTQ+ barcode needs.

non-binary-ary

Hope yall like my abomination

thegrimmlovely

That last one is fucking moving istg

at last. the gaydar

Oh man, oh man. I've been going through some ancient hard drives (New Years resolution) and found some of the oldest digital photos of myself. Enjoy what 20-25 years of age - with 15 of that being on HRT - does to a guy.

Age 23 vs 48, lmao. Back when I box dyed my hair a dark auburn. To be fair, I think all of us who lived it as young adults glowed up from the year 2000.

26 vs 48. Same coat, only it finally fits properly in the shoulders! I think I had just seen Matrix Reloaded and that was me playing around as my OC. 😅

26 vs 48. I'm still kind of scrawny at 20+ lbs heavier, but clothes fit so much better now.

Me at 28? Just starting to be able to afford the tweedy look. Man, I miss those shoes. I still have that coat, though no recent photos of it, so we'll close this out with one of my favorite pics of me from last year, age 48.

sharp-tender-shock-deactivated2

This is a comment someone appended to a photo of two men apparently having sex in a very fancy room, but it’s also kind of an amazing two-line poem? “His Wife has filled his house with chintz” is a really elegant and beautiful counterbalancing of h, f, and s sounds, and “chintz” is a perfect word choice here—sonically pleasing and good at evoking nouveau riche tackiness. And then “to keep it real I fuck him on the floor” collapses that whole mood with short percussive sounds—but it’s still a perfect iambic pentameter line, robust and a lovely obscene contrast with the chintz in the first line. Well done, tumblr user jjbang8

headspace-hotel

I hate that my aesthetic sense agrees with this but everything you just said was correct

headspace-hotel

I went back to dig up this post because I was thinking about poetry.

This is one of those non-poem things that are among my favorite poems.

As the OP stated, the use of alliterative consonants is aesthetically just great, especially the placement of the strongest use at the end: “fuck him on the floor.” The use of “chintz” is indeed great word choice.

Because I’m insane, decided to scan the poem:

Not only is the second sentence, indeed, perfect iambic pentameter, the entire poem is perfectly metered, though the first sentence has four iambs rather than five.

There are further things I love about this poem, though: I like the casual connotations of “keep it real” juxtaposed with “chintz.” It causes me to interpret the “chintz” more strongly as meaning something fake, a facade. There is also of course the coarseness of “fuck,” which is a contrast with “chintz” but a different kind of contrast, gutsy and carnal where “chintz” is flimsy and inanimate.

And then there is the storytelling: there is SO MUCH storytelling in just these two lines. To break it down: The speaker is having sex with a married man, in the house he shares with his wife, which is “filled with chintz”—something that here connotes fakeness, in contrast with “keep it real.”

The illicit encounter in the poem takes place within a house filled with facade, the flimsy construction of the wife’s marriage and domestic sphere, but the encounter itself is a taste of something “real.” That’s a story, and it’s just two lines.

This is EIGHTEEN SYLLABLES, y’all. The amount of meaning condensed into these eighteen syllables is stunning, and it is so elegantly done.

From a technical standpoint (and ive taken 300- and 400-level poetry classes so I can say this) this is damn near flawless as a poem.

agent-octopus

Kept thinking about this ever since I saw it and had to do something

headspace-hotel

there's art now

jetlaggingbehind

questions-within-questions

Ah dang to go further; the floor is framed as a refuge. As if there is literally no other space in this house that hasn't been populated by his wife with flimsy inanimate fakery. There is no space for this man in this house save for the floor. There is no space for him on the sofa, oon the counter tops, and most notably, no space for him in the marital bed.

normal-horoscopes

I’d also like to point out the use of the word “has.” The wife has filled the house with chintz. She isn’t filling the house with chintz. She doesn’t fill the house with chintz. She has filled the house with chintz. Use of the past-tense makes the wife a subtly removed element in the story, someone whose presence we see in the environment, but who is blissfully distant during the actors throes of passion. There is an element of physical as well as emotional separation from the wife that is catalyzed by being fucked on the floor. Use of the past tense is an end to the wife presence in the actors life, a carnal catharsis amid cold fragility and emotional distance.

stargazing-enby

This is my new favourite post in the world

astronomical-bagel

everyone cheer for the one (1) time tumblr had reading comprehension

trekkiesagainstchastity

And, predictably, it's because it was about gay sex

pencilcat

Here’s another dumb Temeraire comic, a follow-up to This One.

I’m starting to believe Tem’s hatred for hatchlings may be justified.

#temeraire

derinthescarletpescatarian

They need to invent a type of exercise that doesn't absolutely fucking suck to do.

#fucking is my favourite cardio #there I said it #horny on main lol

hjartasalt

Mods are asleep post forbidden tits

Huh

Huh

Huh

Hhhhhhh

Perfectly balanced as all things should be…

0v9

lexeirikrleif

fruitloopghosty

offbrandbeethoven-blog

immortalcheesewedge

balance

consulting-cannibal

based on this chat post

i just—

booksbabybooks

Welcoming this post to my dash like an old friend returned from the war

itsrainingshadybitches

tygermama

“We heard youse are behind on your payments to Fat Tony.”

defydamage

I ALMOST SPIT MY ROOTBEER

gallusrostromegalus

“Think you’re all aesthetic, huh? A real instagram Wiseguy! You want something to blog about? We’ll give ya something to blog about!”

quendergeer

the nature of tumblr is such that every few years it will independently invent goodfeathers

bluering8

listen to me, this is so so important: you've gotta get used to really giving it your 60% as a default. like don't half-ass it necessarily but try not to go over 70% or so of an ass. you'll feel better and live a happier more fulfilled life, and on the rare occasions where you do need to lock the fuck in you'll be able to pull off bullshit that the sad miserable wretches giving it their 100% can never dream off, because they're busy draining themselves dry and you have energy reserves to spare.