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Andulka
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@kits-and-pieces
when i go in a room and forget what i needed i become a point and click protagonist. [water bottle?] that’s not helpful right now. [socks?] i don’t know what to do with that. [charger?] that’s not helpful right now. [scissors?] i can’t do anything with that. [water bottle?] that’s not helpful right now. [lone paperclip?] that’s not helpful right now. [water bottle?]
Disgusted by the fact that my dad kept pronouncing wiwi as “oui oui” and spoke to the poor baby in a French accent and implied wiwi was French. Absolutely vile.
Look how sad he is
the anniversary of library paste man’s death is in four days.
One hundred and ten years ago to the day. Amazing. Incredible.
RIP😔🙏📚🍯
asked a student what their favorite animal was today and they said “a cheetah AND a sloth” and I said “wow smart, you’ve got both ends of the speed spectrum covered!” and they looked at me like I was the only sensible adult they’d ever spoken to
transphobic music fans be listening to he or she might be giants
what are white gay men going through
I would take a job pushing the Sisyphus rock if it paid 20 an hour and I could wear my headphones
ragebaiting lemonade stand owner with one simple order
dump his ass. move to a walkable city. start hormones. get into fiber crafts. dye your hair weird. grow an herb garden. foster a distrustful cat. take a welding class. invite your friends over for tea and cake. get way too into obscure media. explore a new cuisine. lie to the police. protest in the streets. life has so many possibilities don't it?
make out with a frenemy. buy noise cancelling headphones. wear office inappropriate attire. quit a toxic workplace. improve your apartment. start a dog walking sidegig. get on first name basis with your local librarians. bully politicians at town hall meetings. get an unexpected piercing. cultivate farmer's market connections. trade recipes with a gossipy old neighbor. unionize your apartment complex. move to the countryside. let a friend take you larping. keep a sword on your mantleplace
get a tattoo on your 40th birthday. be tempted to buy a loom. do a charity drag show. sue your landlord. buy a really nice kitchen appliance. volunteer at an anarchist soup kitchen. rediscover a tv show you watched when you were 8. spam your state senators. shop at asian grocery stores. do cosplay. buy trans flags in bulk and mount them along the highway. go viral for unexpected reasons. move in with your best friend. make lemoncello with leftover lemon rinds. run for school board membership. explore pegging.
update: i'm delighted to report this post has been responsible for at least one person dumping his ass
update: three four people
problematic sudoku solving skills gap
in all fairness to amber if my boyfriend was asking my roommate who was in love with him for study help when his roommate was THE science nerd i would have lost my fucking mind
as a birder, I strongly believe in falling in love with the boring, everyday stuff. the pigeons, the sparrows, the crows. a black cap sings outside of my window every single morning and it always makes me smile. the hedges are full of sparrows everywhere. there is joy to be found in small and common places. go find it.
they need to invent the opposite of an nda called an fda where u have to tell everyone everything
subpoena
tumblr
alcohol
war thunder forums
Can't decide whether it's funnier to say "my hungry ass could never work at a" and then say something that implies you're eating something truly grotesque or something that just, makes no sense
"my hungry ass could never be a brain surgeon" awful. 10/10
"my hungry ass could never be a truck driver" ????? 10/10
EATYIGNIN TIJOK;L'HE????
You're right, that would be shocking.
@funnier-when-objectum
isolating will fix me this time
⚠ SANITY CRITICAL
