where's that masterpost of quotes that have no right going as hard as they do. I'd like to submit "Protagonism is best left to teens and the insane"
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
sheepfilms
YOU ARE THE REASON
I'd rather be in outer space šø

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Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

ā

JVL

@theartofmadeline

Product Placement
styofa doing anything
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Kaledo Art
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Cosmic Funnies

Kiana Khansmith
almost home
KIROKAZE
Game of Thrones Daily
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@languor-em
where's that masterpost of quotes that have no right going as hard as they do. I'd like to submit "Protagonism is best left to teens and the insane"
my poorly coordinated and incredibly enthusiastic child
I'm a disability advocate (I think you should be disabled)
really though a lot of people put themselves through a lot of pain or inconvenience because they have decided they aren't Bad Enough to need help with something and it sucks. so I truly do want to encourage identifying as disabled. you can get a cane if you think you'd only use it on the really bad days or if the deciding factor is that it's your favorite color or if you think maybe it would make one single task a little easier. you can use a screen reader if it's more convenient to hear text spoken to you rather than reading it. you can get cut-proof gloves, or a chopping gizmo, or pre-cut ingredients if it would make you feel safer when cooking because you're a little clumsy. you can use a wheelchair if it would just make you less tired.
as someone who struggled (and struggles) with feeling Bad Enough to justify the tools I need: it's okay if you don't think you need them. A want is enough. A passing "oh, that would be useful" is enough, especially if it keeps happening. you're allowed to want things to be easier and you are allowed to make them easier. I love you.
@yuri-puppies how dare you hide this in the tags
I'm crying cause that's actually what it feels like! You put into words exactly how I feel about my disability and gender!
I know of at least two people who got a walker after I did, and old people ask me about getting one all the time. I'm nonbinary because the gender binary is bullshit (and cause it's hot and queer).
I'm holding your hand and telling you that all these systems and their rules are nonsense! You can just be! You are enough! You don't have to destroy yourself trying to fit into their perfect little boxes! You don't have to suffer! The pain isn't worth it! You deserve joy and love and support! Let's get them together š
The Odyssey but retold as a low-stakes modern adventure of one guy out with his girlfriend leaving the bar with his buddies to do just one (1) simple thing real quick, it'll take like 15 minutes tops, he'll be right back, but then some bullshit happens and the trip keeps getting more complicated as more bullshit keeps happening while he just tries to get back to the bar because he promised his girlfriend that he'd get back and he knows that she's still there because she told him she'd wait there.
And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and
His girlfriend had been fending off the 5 drunk guys for most of the evening by explaining that even if she was going to ditch her boyfriend, she can't possibly leave without finishing her beer, which she is keeping perpetually full via careful sleight of hand where she's just pouring it back and forth into and out of the pitcher.
However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.
That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizableāespecially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.
yuh i was there, that's how it happened
I know very little about Warhammer 40K lore- but the punk scene has to go CRAZY right?? Like, in the grim dark far future there have to be crust punks still doing their thing, right??? Or did the Emperor personally kill them all off??
domming is great until you hit a decision fatigue wall likeeeeee i think youre a fucking grownup and you can decide whether to cum or not on your own. be proactive for once
disturbing amount of people being like āyouāre a bad domme you donāt deserve to dommeā girl ur a bad comedy audience you donāt deserve to heckle get outta here
do you really think im in the middle of sex going āactually you know what? figure it out for yourself.ā
me sucking dick until i get bored
Happy pride to those 5 seconds where Charlie Swan thought Jacob was coming out to him in the most insane way possible
My favorite genre of self-portrait is cartoonists being bothered by their characters while trying to draw
Bill Watterson ā Calvin and Hobbes (1986)
HergĆ© ā Tintin (1947, Tintin Magazine)
Jeff Smith ā Bone (1993, Bone Holiday Special)
Walt Kelly ā Pogo (1950, Maclean's Magazine)
And a bonus:
Berkeley Breathed ā Bloom County
for the reverse, take this image of Tove Jansson about to murder the moomin characters
įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·
įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·
įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·
įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·
įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·
įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·
įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·
įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·
įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·įā̤įį·
I am asking you to endure it.
a lot of Gregory Berrycones in the notes missing the reference to my twelve note magnum opus from several hours prior in which the narrator silently begs an entity that isn't really God for death and the entity says no
the narrator is operating under the constraint that they can only use words "god" has already spoken, "god" is aware of this and says the 'Time flies' sentence on purpose in order to give the narrator the pieces they need to voice their complaint; "god" has constant access to the narrator's thoughts, and answers them as though they're having a conversation between equals, but clearly absolutely dictates the terms under which the narrator can speak. it becomes obvious as the scene continues that the narrator is silently screaming and that the request being denied may be a request for death, but is at minimum a request for some acute suffering to be stopped
this could be an interaction between a normal person and an evil telepath with some mind control ability pretending to be the voice of a benevolent god. or it could work as a demon lord speaking to a soul they've trapped in a mirror and keep at their side. or it could be an actual god trying to calm down their only believer because they're trapped in the same prison. the concept amused me so kindly forgive the ugliness of the execution
Posts that altered the fabric of the universe
Project Hail Mary (2026)
Average transformers g1 episode:
Megatron is attempting to black out the entire sky across a hundred mile radius and funnel all the sunlight into one, concentrated solar death ray to target a heavy duty solar panel he's having soundwave and the cassetticons build in order to convert it to energon. Then he plans to hit the autobot base with the death ray just for funsies. Starscream plans to push Megatron directly into the death ray, also just for funsies.
Optimus sends Wheeljack and Spike to deal with it, along with two bots you're pretty sure have not been in this show before this point, but you're kind of past asking how many of these fuckers were on the ark offscreen when it crashed. One of them has the worst fake Canadian accent you have ever heard, and the other's name sounds inexplicably dirty.
Starscream tries to get Megatron to stand in the spot he told Skywarp and Ramjet to direct the death ray, but is interrupted when Rumble asks why Starscream stuck him with extra work (a task Megatron assigned specifically to Starscream). This vexes Megatron. The autobots show up and try to figure out what the point of the blacked out sky is while Starscream attempts to talk his way out of it. Then the death ray goes off two feet away from Megatron, which only pisses him off further.
The Canadian bot yells "AH BINARY-BEAVERS!!" because the death ray caught him off guard and completely gives away the bots' position. Soundwave immediately fires on them. Gratuitous robot violence ensues. Spike is generally useless and tries chucking rocks at Rumble. Megatron is too busy trying to almost-murder Starscream to bother with the autobots and just lets Soundwave handle it.
Probably-an-innuendo-name-bot is luckily a flier and takes the chance to see what's blocking the sun now that their cover's blown anyway. He gets up there and the seekers are sticking tinfoil on the clouds to make the tops reflective. The writers are really just hoping you don't think too hard about it.
Skywarp starts firing on dirty-name and calls him a nerd. Dirty-name takes evasive action. Skywarp runs out of ammo and starts just chucking tin foil at him. Dirty-name calls him dumb and says his processor is made of spare toaster parts. Then he crash lands and canada-bot asks if dirty-name's wings are spare toaster parts as well. Wheeljack yells that they'll all be spare toaster parts if they don't focus on the decepticons. The death ray goes off again and barely misses the autobots. Wheeljack corrects himself to Melted spare toaster parts.
Dirty-name gives Wheeljack the rundown on the tinfoil clouds so he can figure out a way to get rid of them while Canada-bot fights Soundwave and the cassettes in the background. Spike is kind of helping too sort of almost. Those rocks hes chucking sure are damaging. Ravage gets straight up drop kicked. It cuts back to Wheeljack whipping up a good old fashioned Deviceā¢ļø.
Starscream flies up past the tinfoil barrier while Megatron shoots at him. All the holes he's shooting in the blackout barrier are just making more, slightly shittier death rays and the main one is losing concentration. One of them hits Megatron right in the optic and he keels over with an over the top screech. Starscream descends, breaking another hole in the tinfoil to see a golden opportunity.
"MEGATRON HAS BEEN BLINDED!!! I, STARSCREAM AM NOW YOUR LEADER!!!"
Wheeljack finishes his Deviceā¢ļø: A grenade that makes tinfoil entirely invisible, thus rendering the whole weapon unusable. The writers are hungover, please do not think about it too hard. Pretty please. Dirty-name doesn't know if he can throw it into one of the holes in the barrier on his own since he can't fly in robot mode and he cant throw in altmode. Spike offers to get on his back and throw it in for him if he can get close enough. And he's just SO good at throwing things. The other two agree he's their best shot, they're so happy spike is around, couldn't do it without him.
Starscream is hovering in the air as he gives his Decepticon Leader Acceptance Speech he's prepared for this very occasion, golden light streaming in from the him-shaped hole in the barrier. Dirty-name and spike zip past him and spike makes the best goddamn throw of his life. Before starscream can properly question the Fucking Audacity of these autobots interrupting him while he's trying to have a moment, the invisible explosion goes off that the animators are just happy they don't have to put that much effort into drawing. Starscream gets knocked out of the air and crashes directly onto Megatron. This vexes Megatron.
Sky's normal again. Don't worry that there's still tinfoil there, don't even fuckin worry about it dude. Spike and Dirty-name touch back down. Round of applause for spike for throwing super good. Wheeljack comments that he's just happy it blew up the way it was supposed to. Cue uncomfortably long laughing. Megatron manages to roll starscream off him and calls for a retreat.
Back at the decepticon base, Megatron has an eyepatch and is skulking. Starscream yaps about how it makes him look like a proper tyrant, brooding and battle scarred, and, dare he say, darkly handsome? This vexes Megatron.
Earthās Scapegoat and her Sacrificial Lamb
yoooo guys these wings my dad made look INSANE i canāt wait to try them tomorrow
i donāt think you understand i totally thought we were gonna die locked up in this castle but this fucking genius was like āim going to invent a way for humans to flyā. shout out to my dad heās a real one fr
LMAOOO this dude told me to be careful as he affixed the wings to my backā¦..dad no offense but you just invented flying and we have to go high enough to avoid the kingās archers. soo
HOOOOLY SHIT YOU GUYS I AM SO AFRAID. THE GROUND IS SO FAR. HOW DO BIRDS DO THIS. OH MY GODS OH MY GODS OH MY GODS
itās so beautiful up here
i donāt like seeing the ground. iām going higher
itās cold and i canāt see anything. not sure if thatās better or worse
by zeusā¦.what is that thingā¦ā¦.itās as bright as the sun and twice as warm
the gods look truly down on me this dayā¦apollo calls to me from his chariot of fire. a mere mortal. he must think my flight such a wondrous feat
i donāt understand why but heās coming closer. he is not supposed to stray from his path, lest the sun fall from the sky. why does he look so anguished to see me?
oh. i am in his path
itās so hotā¦was it this hard to fly before? maybe iām tired
the wax
he really does look like the sunā¦the light emanates from his fingers, his hair, his skin. he means to catch me. i reach for him
his skin burns. i cannot hold on
i slip through his fingers.
it takes a really long time to fall from the sky. longer than i thought
i wonder if he cried for me
i pray to him just in case. i am grateful he tried. my palms are red and cracked from where they touched divinity. the ground does not look any closer than it was
i have not seen my father since we took flightā¦i hope he escaped. i hope he will not witness this. i wish i could tell him how joyful these wings made me before the wax melted
i do not regret it. i have seen with my own eyes what others will only dream of
i am not afraid
i am not afraid i am not afraid i am not afraid i am not afraid i am afraid i am afraid i am afraid
please please please please please pleaseplease
the gods will not save me. i suppose this is a lesson in hubris. i am forever a flightless thing
please please please i have no coin for the ferryman if i am to die now i will never reach the realm of hades please turn me into a bird any bird or a bug or something anything please please pleasepleaseplease
I AM NOT AFRAID I AM NOT AFRAID I AM NOT AFRAID I AM NOT AFRAID I AM N
Slenderman is a tall good boy and thereās nothing wrong with tormenting and killing amateur filmmakers
What did amateur filmmakers ever do to you
I live in New York City