lemonrow::escape the ordinary @lemonrow - Tumblr Blog

i say this in all seriousness, a great way to resist the broad cultural shift of devaluing curiosity and critical thinking is to play my favorite game, Hey What Is That Thing

you play it while walking around with friends and if you see something and don't know what it is or wonder why its there, you stop and point and say Hey What Is That Thing. and everyone speculates about it. googling it is allowed but preferably after spending several minutes guessing or asking a passerby about it

weird structures, ambiguous signs, unfamiliar car modifications, anything that you can't immediately understand its function. eight times out of ten, someone in the group actually knows, and now you know!

a few examples from me and my friends the past few weeks: "why is there a piece of plywood sticking out of that pond in a way that looks intentional?" (its a ramp so squirrels that fall in to the pond can climb out) • "my boss keeps insisting i take a vacation of nine days or more, thats so specific" (you work at a bank, banks make employees take vacation in long chunks so if youre stealing or committing fraud, itll be more obvious) • "why does this brick wall have random wooden blocks in it" (theres actually several reasons why this could be but we asked and it was so you could nail stuff to the wall) • "most of these old factories we drive past have tinted windows, was that just for style?" (fun fact the factory owners realized that blue light keeps people awake, much like screen light does now, so they tinted the windows blue to keep workers alert and make them work longer hours)

been playing this game for a long time and ive learned (and taught) a fuckton about zoning laws, local history, utilities (did you know you can just go to your local water treatment plant and ask for a tour and if they have a spare intern theyll just give you a tour!!!) and a whole lot of fun trivia. and now suddenly you're paying more attention when youre walking around, thinking about the reasons behind every design choice in the place you live that used to just be background noise. and it fuckin rules.

#love this

I've been fluttering around tumblr over the last few days, back for the first time in a couple of years, with absolutely no plan or purpose to being here...

Reading old posts/reblogs. Popping onto a few peoples' blogs.

And--

It's making me kind of emotional.

It's why, despite a few false starts over the years, I just haven't been able to really come back. On the one hand, I'd like to. On another, I'd like to seal this blog up and just keep it as a time capsule to the Lemon That Once Was.

I guess time will tell.

#personal #i'll say one thing #i still love the heck out of my silly little icon #made that in MS paint and never looked back hehe

ampervadasz

sweetsigyn

I know it’s on purpose but still every dead choreographer is spinning in their grave

anais-ninja-bitch

this is so brilliant but how many times did they just crash and send each other ass over teakettle during rehearsal

#funny #art #dancing

feministism

strengthins0lidarity

Fun things they don’t teach you in sex ed.

teaboot

Talcum powder has asbestos in it. Has for years. Leave it be

evieplease

This is all FAR more useful education than ‘Having unmarried sex while female makes you a dirty slut’ .

nakedinasnowsuit

There are a lot of male folks who follow me but don’t know these things. It’s good to know all of this! Just as your partner should want to know about the intricacies of your plumbing, you should care about this.

lunacorva

Spreading this for general health tips.

placentafluid

for trans guys who haven’t transitioned yet and even then

shofarsogood

Here’s a thing a lot of people don’t know:

You can be allergic to condoms and you can be allergic to semen.

There are polyurethane condoms if you’re allergic to latex or your partner is. Lots of people claim to have a latex allergy to avoid condoms, so it’s good to have polyurethane condoms on hand in case someone tries that.

If you find yourself getting really red and irritated after sex without a condom and you know it’s not an STD or yeast infection, have your partner orgasm somewhere else on your body and watch for a rash. It’s rare, but it can happen and many people resort to douching or unsafe cleaning instead of addressing the problem. This is fixed with condoms.

vaspider

You can use corn starch or a version of it like Lady Anti-Monkey Butt (the “lady” version has calamine in it, which is a miracle on irritated skin) on your butt and chub rub but try not to it in your actual labia, any sugars in your self-lubricating bits can contribute to yeast infections.

Don’t use any powder if your skin is broken or bleeding, though. If you nicked yourself with a razor or whatever, wait until there’s an actual scab there.

lemonrow

Also, as a healthcare professional can I just say:

Please, never ever ever EVER apologize for the appearance of your vulva, labia, pubic hair, etc.

We see these body parts every day. We see them in every variation of size, shape, colour, smell, hairiness, etc. Our job is to make sure they are healthy. Cosmetics are the absolute least important consideration- in fact it’s not a consideration at ALL. Any healthcare provider who says or does something to make you self-conscious about the appearance of your body parts is in the wrong.

#gynecology #health #medicine

beaft

my cat hates taking his pills. the only way we can get him to eat them is to turn it into an elaborate pantomime - we take the packet out of the cupboard slowly and hold it up, saying “oh!! what’s this? what’s this? a TREAT? a TREAT for louis????” while making surprised faces. we offer him a pill… then, before he has a chance to sniff it, we wag our fingers at him and replace it in the packet so it becomes a Tantalising Forbidden Mystery. we continue doing this until he’s so confused and excited that he will eat the pill as fast as possible, just so he can find out what it is before we can take it away from him again. as soon as he’s eaten it he looks utterly disappointed and betrayed, like a child who just ate a delicious sweet only to find it was a chocolate-coated brussels sprout. it never gets old

autumngracy

Op this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read

fucktheflagandfuckyou

op how could you just hide this from me in the tag this makes this objectively 10000000% funnier

stalling

50 First Doses

skyline-sunset-in-my-veins

You trick Louis? You trick Louis like a common fool? Oh jail, jail for owners ONE MILLION YE-oh what’s this? A treat?

#cats #hilarious

soulofthebloodofthewolf-deactiv

honestly missionaries are evil. the idea of traveling the world to tell people Who Didnt Fucking Ask that their beliefs are wrong in the hopes that theyll adopt your beliefs seems sinister

kittyinhighheels

The Christians in the notes whining are so absolutely stupid

ajunlost

I don’t even want to talk about how they specifically target poor people and hold basic necessities over their heads in exchange for faith.

cowboymalewife

“I read about an [Inuit] hunter who asked the local missionary priest, ‘If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?’ ‘No,’ said the priest, ‘Not if you did not know.’

‘Then why,’ asked the [Inuit] earnestly, ‘did you tell me?” -Annie Dillard

(edited to remove slurs/dated language)

bullydyke-deactivated20210902

My culture and our religious practices (Inuit) have been decimated by Christianity and I fucking hate pretending its a neutral thing.

piya-re

Christians in the notes still don’t get it. They’re saying that missionaries aren’t that bad bc they’re just trying to save all ppl and they’ve started quoting bible verses and whatnot but here’s the thing: I. Don’t. Believe. In. That. Like your beliefs and scriptures are non applicable to me (and everyone else who isn’t Christian, or at least abrahamic) bc we’re not christian and I literally don’t care if you think we “need to be saved from Satan” or smg bc frankly, it’s not your business and that “well meaning, innocent” intention is still forcing your religion onto us. OP is right. Missionaries are evil. Leave other religions tf alone.

wiisagi-maiingan

One half of my family is Native Christians via forced conversion.

The other half is white Christians, including missionaries.

I can tell you that missionaries don’t just invalidate other religions (mainly indigenous religions) to try to convert people, they blatantly hold valuable resources hostage to convert people.

They’ll provide books to communities with low literacy rates… but all the books are bibles or otherwise Christian-centric.

They’ll host free meals for the whole community… but the people have to attend a church sermon before they’re allowed to have food.

They’ll host events and groups for kids… but all the education and activities are about Christianity.

Missionaries blatantly take advantage of scared and vulnerable communities, who are like that because of Christian colonialism, to forcefully convert them and kill off their religions and cultures.

lifewithchronicpain

And then christians feel offended when you don’t say “merry Christmas”

#colonialism #christianity

beardedmrbean

#betty white #golden girls

thenatsdorf

Black cats are lucky. (via leahweissmuller)

immaplatypus

MAN [IN THICK ACCENT]: Black cat bring good luck. Not bad luck. I have black cat - See, him face - And I am not dead today: Good luck!

official-mugi

“See him face”

I sure fucking do see him face

just-things-i-enjoy

Him face

luccorvus

Reblog him face for good luck in 2021

catsbeaversandducks

Reblog him face for good luck in 2021 (2)

laurenthemself

Reblog him face for good luck in 2022!

#cute #animals #cats

lucydacusgirl

*says ‘I’m so fucking sick of this pandemic shit’ in a distinctly vaccinated, pro mask, pro lockdown, pro taking all the necessary safety measures way*

#COVID-19

bannedtags

A Growing List of Banned Tags

This is my second go at making this blog. The first time, I got shadowbanned immediately for writing a post with these words on it, so I’m going to have to link to a google doc instead.

You can find my current list HERE

If you’d like to contribute tags you’ve found, please send it via an ask or submission so I can double check and add it to the list.

EDIT: Right now many of these are only banned on IOS, but that really doesn’t make it better

lemonrow

Absolutely furious about this.

This is LITERALLY going to make LOTS AND LOTS OF PEOPLE less safe!

We use a lot of these banned tags to PROTECT each other! To help each other avoid content we don’t want to see!!

I get that this is complicated, and it’s challenging to make everybody happy but there has GOT to be a better way. Some of these banned tags make absolutely no sense. We’ll be forced to use other nonsense tags which will just create confusion and JKFHKWJXKSJS I’M SO ANGRY.

#tumblr #tumblr tags

ayeforscotland

And if I die, I die. And I shall join my brothers and sisters in Valhalla where I belong!

penrosesun

Ok but guys, in all seriousness, this is exactly why you should get the HPV vaccine. We have a vaccine that literally protects you from getting throat cancer from eating pussy, and yet there are supposedly straight men walking around without it. It's a shame and an embarrassment, and everyone who enjoys pussy in any form should get vaccinated, genuinely.

#a vaccine that can literally prevent cancer #of the throat #and the cervix #:D

mythopoeism

early homo sapiens b like help i cant stop making bowls . help i cant stop domesticating plants and animals. help i cant stop developing language and architecture and religion

pricklydyke

ok im obsessed w this tag

iwearmygreencoatatnight

once in grade 6 I saw a 'pottery making club' in a ditch on the schoolyard- I assume at some point someone realized there was actually good quality clay in the ditch and when I walked up there were about a dozen 12 year olds sitting around the few girls who had brought their water bottles out to mix the clay, and a designated spot to put the finished bowls and tablets, and people going off and collecting sticks to make designs with and i really think that's the natural state of the human race

roomba-with-knives-taped-to-it

In elementary school I learned that you can make paint out of certain sedimentary rocks on the playground if you crushed them and mixed with water and at one point I had up to 25 kindergarten through third graders making cave paintings on the underside of the slides

xphilosoraptorx

The nature of man is such that every so often, someone recreates the neolithic era.

voyageofbran

Yeah, every recess

#bravo #hilarious #awesome #humans

tiktokstowatch

rosyish

I’m frothing at the mouth this is my DREAM

wolffyluna

#as a professional carnie i gotta say#wlw have a special inate ability at these games i swear to god#there used to be some kind of year#yearly retreat for?? idk what but it was made of almost entirely butch women#and there would be like a whole day the part was just overrun by gay ladies#and when the catering hall let their party out they all wanted nothing more than clean fucking house for their gifriends and wivesa#we all knew it was coming. wed all be like todays the lesbian day guys get everything stocked#and this isnt like the o be weird or something abt butch women being strong or athletic#i mean they would win games of chance way more often than straight couples#gay dudes do not factor in cuz we all suck balls at those games literally they were all awful#one very out gay coworker i had would openly tell them like look from one of us to another keep walking these arent for us they just arent#but girls? girls dating other girls? it was on sight they all won all the time (via @transkeiichi)