the "came back wrong" trope except like... they didnt. like this mad scientists wife died, and so he studied necromancy, brought her back, and she came back and it all worked. like she came back exactly the same as she was before with literally no difference. but the scientist guy is like "oh no... what have i done.... shes Different now!!!! she came back Wrong!!!!" and shes just like. chilling. reading a book. cooking dinner. shes just so so normal but in the guys mind hes like "oh shes soooo weird" but shes just normal
Everyone who plays around with Tarot cards long enough winds up with a “bad” card that they love. I just barely persuaded my husband not to get the Ten of Swords tattooed on his body; traditionally, it shows a corpse with ten swords stuck in their body and means “utter ruin,” but he thought that if it took ten swords to kill you, then you must have put up a pretty good fight.
honestly this is the most badass ten of swords interpretation i've ever heard. i'm stealing this
When I last posted my annual "Let's compare last year's Eurovision entry from each country against this year's" review, I felt like all passion for the international song competition had been drained from my body and soul. I'd already found 2023 underwhelming, and 2024 was no less so. Well I don't know what happened in the intervening years (by which I mean 2, meaning I only skipped 1 post), but it feels like something took a turn for the better. (I can't say it's anything to do with the greater EBU, of course; they're sticking their fingers in their ears and going "la la la" for the most part...and not in reference to the Spanish entry from 1968...although that's to do with an entirely different matter.)
But is this year's crop of songs really that much better? I decided to check. I'm only gonna compare 2026 to 2025; a more ambitious me with more free time on her hands would compare 2026 against at least 2023–2025, but I haven't warmed up *that* much, yet. At the very least, if a country with a 2026 song didn't have a 2025 song, I'll compare it to the next most recent.
(As always, these ratings are exclusively based on the studio track, and I generally go by a song's vibe [or would that be VÆB?] and don't go out of my way to translate non-English lyrics. Everything I know about what those songs are trying to communicate comes courtesy of my listening to other people talk about them. Speaking of which, thanks be to the playlists put together by the Eurovangelists podcast)
Albania: Zjerm vs Nân
Both of these songs are just sort of "there" for me, which is entirely typical for Albania's entries, tbh. Not bad but I wouldn't put them on my playlist to listen to after the competition. I give the edge to Nân because I'm not a huge fan of whatever you call that talk-singing in the back half Zjerm.
Armenia: Survivor vs Paloma Rumba
At the very least, Survivor has some of the most memorable Eurovision lyrics in recent memory (or rather, one specific term: "stay alive-r"). It's fine. Paloma Rumba's got one of those chorus meant for some kind of dance break, which I generally don't care for, but it's not quite as bad to me as other songs. It's winning at the moment, but I reserve the right to change my mind and pick "neither", since neither of these is ever going to wind up on that playlist I just mentioned.
Australia: Milkshake Man vs Eclipse
Am I inherently opposed to a song that's exclusively based around sexual innuendo? No. But Milkshake Man is a big "ew, no" from me. Eclipse is fairly meh as a studio track. Hopefully Delta lives up to her reputation in the live, as certain people on the internet keep assuring me. It does not earn itself any points by referencing anything astronomical (I'm flashing back to Hovig's Gravity right now), but I like the unexpected piano solo.
Austria: Wasted Love vs Tanzschein
As I have noted for many years, I don't like it when singers go super high. Some can overcome this bias. JJ and Wasted Love do not. Tanzschein has an acceptable beat and it's the first song in this list that isn't in English. Sometimes that earns a song points, and I think that's the case, here.
Azerbaijan: Run with U vs Just Go
I had literally no memory of Run with U until hearing it again since the 2025 competition. Just Go isn't even on the spotify playlist I'm listening to, so it is equally forgettable. Both nothingburgers. I reserve the right to not choose either song from a country, and I am doing that right now.
Belgium: Strobe Lights vs Dancing on the Ice
I don't understand why so many people were mad Strobe Lights didn't make the final. Granted, I remember nothing about the live performance other than it being very red and my ears hating his high notes. Those high notes are less hurtful in the studio version but I'm also not a fan of this particular dance track. Dancing on the Ice will always stick in my head for a weird reason (the lyrics "I want love, but I'm not loyal" make me want to scream "then go to therapy and fix yourself"). This will not be the only time this year an entry makes my brain tangent. Also, I prefer the vibe of the song.
Bulgaria: Intention [2022] vs. Bangaranga
Wow has it really been that long since Bulgaria was in the competition? Bangaranga gets the "guilty pleasure" award for 2026, in that it gets my head bobbing relatively quickly so I stuck through the whole thing when I didn't think I would. Genre-wise, Intention is much more up my alley (Does this count as Dad Rock? Because I am not opposed to saying I like the occasional Dad Rock song), but it underwhelms in the chorus and doesn't change things up enough after the guitar solo. I don't feel good about letting Bangaranga win anything, but I guess that's where we are right now.
Croatia: Poison Cake vs Andromeda
Andromeda doesn't build to a big enough climax for me, at least in the studio version. And the overall sound mixing is a little flat? But it's definitely better to listen to than Poison Cake.
Cyprus: Shh vs Jalla
Jalla is pleasant enough and like what Antigoni's voice brings to the table of all the female artists this year. I don't even know what happened with Shh.
Czechia: Kiss Kiss Goodbye vs Crossroads
I don't like either of these. Sometimes I wonder what my distant relatives (as in ~170 years worth of my direct Czech ancestors not living in Bohemia/etc. anymore) think of their country's Eurovision picks, because I'm usually disappointed and that makes me sad. If you forced me to pick I'd go Crossroads but for now I'm not gonna.
(P.S. I am also German, and British, and Irish...the Swedish 1/16th of me is occasionally satisfied)
Denmark: Hallucination vs Før vi går hjem
I don't know what else you'd call it, but that "chorus" for Hallucination really doesn't sound like one to me? And we've all stuck around long enough to know how I feel about choruses. Før vi går hjem isn't really my thing either, but at least it sounds different than what I'm used to.
Estonia: Espresso Macchiato vs Too Epic to Be True
Both songs lose to whatever Ollie sent that year (for the record: Venom > Slave > whatever that 2nd song was that I don't like as much). Given that I am perfectly fine with so-called "dated" songs, I'd pick the latter if forced. But it does not live up to its title at all, so I won't reward it even if it's not as terrible as some people say it is.
Finland: Ich komme vs Liekinheitin
Ich komme sounds like it needs to be heard in a stadium. As a studio track, it feels like it's missing something...or maybe my sound mix setting with my headphones is just wrong. The first time I heard Leikinheitin I felt like the vocals and violin didn't stitch together very well, but after a few listens it's grown on me (I also wasn't into Cha Cha Cha the first time I heard it, so this is not unusual for Finnish entries). I suspect the ESC version w/ Linda playing live will sound better than the studio track.
France: Maman vs Regarde
I like the French songs that aren't boring chansons (even when they're simply twists on it, like Évidemment, which is probably my favorite French entry since 2013, if not of all the ones I've ever heard). I'm not the biggest fan of classical singing, but Regarde at least has that twist. So it's an easy win over Maman.
Georgia: Freedom vs On Replay
Freedom was another song I had literally no memory of. And I was not missing out on anything. I'm technically more willing to listen to On Replay again, but I will again choose neither.
Germany: Baller vs Fire
Germany got points for finally sending a song in German, but that's not enough for me to like it. I don't even know what to say about Fire other than Germany you are not Cyprus.
Greece: Asteromata vs Ferto
Klavdia's glasses game aside, Asteromata is a pretty forgettable ballad for me. I like the bounce of Ferto but I would never listen to it outside of the competition. I choose neither, but neither is bad.
Italy: Volevo essere un duro vs Per sempre sì
I generally like whatever Italy sends. I also liked the standard ballad that won Sanremo last year. I didn't like what actually went to Eurovision, and I imagine Lucio Corsi is alright with not being my cup of tea. Per sempre sì has a happy infectious energy that reminds me of Occidentali's Karma, which for a while was my favorite Eurovision song. (I don't know what my favorite is now; I haven't sat down to think about it.)
Latvia: Bur man laimi vs Ēnā
I can't get into the rhythm of Bur man laimi. Ēnā is a typical ballad that has a nice build, but it only really kicks in for me at the very end (a rare case where I like a high note, which is enough of an achievement that I'll give it to Ēnā even though I'd never put it on my playlist.)
Lithuania: Tavo akys vs Sólo quiero más
Another case of my not liking either song, but I'll give the edge to Tavo ayks for a preference toward the general sound.
Luxembourg: La poupée monte le son vs Mother Nature
I have no connection to the original song which La poupée monte le son is a response to, so that backstory doesn't have any real sway on me either way. It just sounds more interesting. I don't actually know where Mother Nature's chorus begins, but if it's at those very words, well...
Malta: Serving vs Bella
I am a child and therefore like the cunt song. It loses some points for the dance chorus, but it's more interesting to listen to than Bella. Bella is fine, and I'm very happy for that young man fulfilling his dream of going to Eurovision, but his studio track doesn't do anything for me.
Moldova: In the Middle [2024] vs Viva, Moldova!
I remember watching In the Middle and getting really confused by the violin props (as in they felt woefully underused), but that has no bearing on how forgettable the song itself is. Viva, Moldova brings back the standard bop, but like the song about the train actually has a subtle political message that I admire. (If In the Middle had a secret message, it was never revealed to me.)
Montenegro: Dobrodošli vs Nova Zora
I just like the vibe more.
Norway: Lighter vs Ya Ya Ya
Lighter is a nothingburger with a dance chorus and the actual ya-ing in Ya Ya Ya is very annoying. So I choose neither.
Poland: Gaja vs Pray
I don't really like Gaja but I like Pray noticeably less. Why is she rapping???
Portugal: Deslocado vs Rosa
Both are fine. (I rarely connect with any of the songs in Portugal's national final; this year was no different). Portugal will continue to do its own thing, and I will continue to listen to their songs like five times max and then skip them every other time they come up. That said, I like Deslocado a bit more.
Romania: D.G.T. [2023] vs. Choke Me
Choke Me (which honestly I can't even hear her say; I keep hearing "Show Me") gets my 12 points this year. The operatic bits stick out a bit too much in the studio track, but I love the sound of this song. Best thing Romania's sent in...maybe ever? Admittedly, I haven't listened to anything pre-2006, and it's been a while since I listened to everything post-2005. D.G.T. was fine.
San Marino: Tutta l'Italia vs Superstar
I doubt anything will ever beat the sudden surprise appearance of Flo Rida, but also in terms of Senhit's Eurovision stuff Adrenalina is my favorite. Superstar has okay verses but the song falls apart in the chorus. Tutta l'Italia is an inoffensive stadium anthem for people to bounce along to, so I should technically give it to that, but really I don't wanna. So I won't.
Serbia: Mila vs Kraj mene
The thing I liked best about Mila was Princ's hair. The song was forgettable, minus him getting dragged along the stage in the Eurovision performance (which does not count here, even though I'm told it's very hard to sing well while lying down). I like what they're going for with the sound of Kraj mene, but it isn't quite enough to push it into an actual "like" for me.
Sweden: Bara bada bastu vs My System
Take Loreen's second win away and give it to Kaj. This was my favorite song of 2025 (also check out their parody, which I saw during UMK without subtitles and had no idea what they were talking about except TRAUMA). My System loses to Bara bada bastu easily (whatever you call that genre of music, it is not mine. Also, chorus...)
Switzerland: Voyage vs Alice
Voyage reminds me, in a way, of Limits (Austria's entry from 2019), in that it has one lady with a nice, reserved voice singing a woefully boring song in the context of Eurovision. (I actually like Limits better as a song, but that is neither here nor there.) Alice is also definitely not a Eurovision song, but it's unusual enough that definitely places it above Voyage. The fandom lets Portugal get away with sending whatever they heck they want. Why not Switzerland?
Ukraine: Bird of Pray vs Ridnym
I like Leléka's voice and how the song kind of sways.
United Kingdom: What the Hell Just Happened? vs Eins, Zwei, Drei
Okay, the other song with a brain tangent. Eins, Zwei, Drei makes me think of Cool Runnings (because Derice decides to count in german while pushing the bobsled at the top of the track, because that's what the Swiss team does). Also whenever he says "goodbye, drudgery; hello me" I think of the cheese halloumi. Is either of those the reasons why I like this song way more than WTHJH? No.
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Okay, 2025 outright won 6 times. 2026 won 20. Eight ties. So yeah, 2026 is objectively* (*not actually objectively) a better year by comparison.
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🇷🇴 Go Alexandra (and her band)! 🇷🇴
(I will not be mad if Finland wins, as currently predicted; I will be very happy for my PhD supervisor's Finnish husband)
lvl 1: the plural of octopus is octopuses because the plural version of a word is the word with an s at the end
lvl 2: the plural version of octopus is octopi because if a word ends with "us" the plural version replaces the "us" with "i" e.g. cactus -> cacti and fungus -> fungi
lvl 3: actually, that rule is only for latin words. octopus is a greek word and the correct plural is octopuses or octopodes
lvl 4: actually, language is descriptive not prescriptive. since enough people over time have used octopi as the plural for octopus, it's a valid plural
lvl 5: the plural of octopus is octopeese, like geese
Lvl 6: My Marine Biology professor told me it was technically “Octopods” to bring it in line with “Cephalopod,” but that if the class is falling asleep you can call them “Octopussies”
Some of the categories for the NYT Connections fills me with hatred and wrath. What do you mean “dog breeds with the first letter changed” i’ll kill you
"Your son will take your throne from you," they prophesized, spitting each word out of teeth clenched tight with hatred. Why they'd bother prophesizing such an event befuddles you; your son is literally your chosen heir, after all.
Years later, you realize what the prophets meant. For most of your life your son was your pride and joy; an academic, who would surely lead the kingdom into greater health and wellness. Until he committed the ultimate act of betrayal.
"You will not take my throne from me!" You cling to your grand chair so hard your knuckles turn white.
Your son sighs. "Dad. Dad it's lead-"
"Of course it's lead! It's a strong metal, signifying the strength of our country- this throne has been passed down the royal line for 300 years, 15 rulers before me-"
"That is not enough time for that many people!" Your son throws his hands up in the air. "Because it is lead! It is poisoning you! Didn't you wonder why grandpa died at 40?"
"Ah, pfoo! That's the ancestral curse."
"It's the throne! The throne is the ancestral curse!!!"
There once was a man from the sticks
Whose limericks stopped at line six.
They were fine till line five
Then they took quite a dive —
But the problem is easy to fix
If you just ignore the last line, it doesn't even follow the rhyme scheme oh god I've really lost control of this thing I'm so sorry...
There once was a fellow named Dan,
Whose poetry never would scan.
When told this was so,
He replied, "Yes, I know--
It's because I try to squeeze as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can."
On Tumblr did lasses and lads
Their way with fail poetry had.
You're having your fun
But you're fooling no one -
It takes skill to do something this bad.
I referred to something as a "real Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra moment" in conversation with someone who has never seen TNG, and let me tell you, that was a real Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra moment
Bras, Kets, and Internets @licensed-quantum-mechanic - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
