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Your Name I 2016
SHE IS RIGHT AND SHE SOULD SAY IT!!!
YES!
OMFG!!! I LOVE THIS!
It’s so long and an awkward topic but this really needs more notes.
Basically she’s saying men cause abortions not women and I’m here for it.
HI LET’S SHARE NICOLE’S WORDS ON THE SUBJECT!
It has been literal years but every time I see Martin’s tweets posted somewhere and his word is shared as truth while her post is not shared it sort of reiterates the fact that we trust men to speak about feminism more than we believe women who experience it.
Interesting, innit? https://medium.com/@nickyknacks/working-while-female-59a5de3ad266
Reading her account of how their boss treated her blows me away. Men are so emboldened that they will literally admit to illegal discrimination casually and face no consequences.
In all the years of seeing this post I’ve never seen a link to her side. Didn’t even know she’d written one.
Adding screenshots of her post. His whole post is there without needing a link. Hers should be, too.
Also, she posted this is 2017! It’s fucking 2020 and I’ve seen his side of this for years, but it took 3 years for her side to make its way to my dash…
How I Teach Men Not To Talk Over Me: from one feminist to another, when basic respect is lagging and conversations are impossible
I’ve done this to several men, and they catch on rather quickly. You’ll be able to have a conversation right then and there, and it works long term too - they might’ve forgot their manners by the time you talk to them again, but by repeating this, they’ll eventually learn to let you talk without you having to do this at the start of every convo. Source: I have a very stubborn older brother, who eventually learned too.
1. When they interrupt you, stop talking. Don’t try to raise your voice or battle them. Be completely quiet and wait.
2. Ignore everything they’re saying. Do not actually listen - just wait until they shut up. Don’t make a point of anything they say, do not answer to anything they say, do not refer to anything they say here. Literally do not listen a single word. Let them rant as long as they want.
3. When they finally shut up and wait for your reaction, say: ”I wasn’t done talking.”
4. Start over whatever you were saying when they interrupted you. I don’t care if it was a 10-minute explanation of rocket science. Start. Over. Repeat you original thought, but do not add anything related to what they just said while talking over you. That gives them the idea that it’s okay to interrupt you, you’ll still listen and pay attention and they’ll get their point clear without having to listen to yours. (It’s especially funny when you get done and they expect you to keep going talking about whatever they talked over you. The face when it sinks in that you didn’t listen a single word is glorious.)
5. If they interrupt you again, return to step 1. If you find yourself repeating the cycle over 3 times, tell them: ”you’re not letting me speak. Either you listen and wait for your turn, or our conversation ends here.” If they try to make excuses, laugh it off or keep interrupting, end the conversation. Prove them that if they wont let you speak, they’re not worth your time.
Why does this work? First, because sometimes talking over is internalized and men don’t actually notice they’re doing it. Being vocally called out makes them realize it and pay attention to it - especially if it happens more than once. Secondly, by refusing to aknowledge anything they say when they interrupt you, they’ll soon realize they will not get their own point across if they keep doing that. Peoole and especially men have the need to be heard and paid attention to when they talk - when you make it clear that by talking over you, they will not have your attention, they’ll learn to wait until you’re done, because they know that’s when you will be paying attention and actually listening.
Go my darlings. Have some actual conversations where your point of view is just as valid as his. Demand the basic respect of being heard. You can actually have some interesting conversations with men when they’re forced to listen too, when being louder is not going to make them feel like they’re dominating the conversation or winning the argument.
This is gonna be fun.
The importance of consent: a narrative.
I will forever reblog this gifset.
look at how badass she is though i mean some of it gets on her too and doesn’t even give a fuck
She pours hot liquid on her own leg she’s that badass.
fire cannot kill a dragon.
Fire cannot kill a dragon.
I once went to a concert with a friend (I don’t remember the band, she dragged me along) when I was 16. They were starting a wall of death and this guy who was flirting with me decides it would be funny to pull my top down, exposing my breasts, then throw me in the middle of this wall of death right as it’s about to meet. When I stumble in the middle and hit the wall someone screamed “STOP! EXPOSED GIRL!” and I thought they were all going to oggle at me. Instead, one guy quickly helped me cover up, three more helped me to my feet, and another asked who did that. When I pointed out the guy, two of them looked at him, me, each other, then nodded and punched the guy in the face before forcing him into the wall that was about to form again.
Metal men are gentlemenly as shit.
This fucking this^^^
I’ve always loved this.
I went to my first concert a few months ago and there were these really tall men with black vest tops and tattoos and piercings surrounding us screaming loudly when the music started playing, but then we realised this kid in the crowd had lost his mum so they tried to comfort him and when he started crying they asked him his name and he shakily sobbed “Eliot” at which point they lifted him in the air onto the shoulder’s and shouted at the top of their lungs “ELIOT’S MUM, ELIOT IS LOOKING FOR YOU. EXCUSE ME HAS ANYONE SEEN ELIOT’S MUM!!!” at which point Eliot started giggling between sobs until he finally found his mum while in the air.
Seriously, I have felt safer in groups of death metal dudes than in the group of the preppiest preps that ever prepped.
Metal guys are one big family. Simple as that.
I remember seeing this for the first time like a year ago and not once have I seen it and not reblogged it because this is just amazing.
My old coworker was one of those guys. Big, bearded, played in a hardcore metal band. One day another coworker’s laptop was stolen from the breakroom, so metal-head bought him a brand new one.
That guy was really a huge teddy bear.
My friend is tiny and she was at a concert when she was 15 or something and they were about to do a wall of death and she was right at the front. She started to realise this was not going to end well for her, but then this massive guy next to her picked her up and put her on his shoulders just as it began. After when she asked why, he said “if I didn’t pick you up you would have been crushed.” Metal men are nicer than most.
I think the rules for metal dudes are universal. 1. Look out for smaller people that could be hurt and help them. 2. If someone falls, help them up. 3. If you see anyone being a dick fucking pulverise them
If demons looked like demons Evil would be quite rare. It’s the demons dressed as angels For which we must beware.
Reblogging for that perfect last addition
“If she says no 20 times then says yes, that’s rape” if there’s literally nothing forcing her (or him) to have sex and they say yes after 20 no’s, I’m pretty sure that’s consent. And women do lie about rape or have y’all not seen @lastsonlost long ass text posts with examples and sources on it? You’re naive to think this way.
“if there’s literally nothing forcing her (or him) to have sex and they say yes after 20 no’s, I’m pretty sure that’s consent.”
@mr-downer My therapist once told me, regarding consent, that “you can only say yes if you can also say no.” And I think a woman who’s been professionally trained to help survivors would know what constitutes assault and rape. The word “yes” might come out of a person’s mouth, but if they’ve been coerced into saying it, that’s rape. Period.
If someone has said no TWENTY times before finally giving in, they’re not saying yes because they want to. Maybe their partner is emotionally or physically abusive, and they’re afraid to be humiliated, hit, or verbally bashed if they keep turning them down. Maybe their partner is refusing their stream of “no, no, no” in a way that is frightening them. Maybe their partner plays the “Why don’t you want me?” card over and over again, and guilts them into having sex; because for many people, they’d rather be hurt themselves than make the person they love feel rejected.
Whatever the circumstances, I promise you that when someone says no to sex twenty times in a row, they don’t want it.
And really, you should never ask someone to have sex more than once. If someone says no, they mean no. The only reason you’d ask someone to have sex after they’ve said no is that you care more about fucking them than you do about their consent.
Think for a moment. Who wants to have sex with someone who doesn’t want to have sex with them?
There’s only one answer: RAPISTS.
Please look up consent means.
Please look up what consent means in the context of sexual assault and rape. The word “yes” =/= sexual consent in all situations. Which I just explained, but you’re obviously not listening. The fact that you can’t tell rape from not-rape after that detailed of an explanation is frankly disturbing.
The fact you can’t read and comphrend words shows you should probably go back to school and take an English class again.
Coming back at me about my intelligence when I gave you a well thought out, articulate response doesn’t prove anything you’re saying. Because you’re really not saying anything. Just typing things that you think are clever, because you don’t have a leg to stand on. I’d hope you were a troll, but I’m pretty sure you genuinely don’t understand what rape is, which is waaaaay worse.
I can’t believe I’m arguing with a rape apologist. This is my Tuesday, brought to you by tumblr dot hell.
So we’ve reached the phase in the conversation where you run out of anything to say entirely and use memes instead, because your argument is that weak! Good for you.
For the record, my composure is perfectly intact. I’m just not backing down because you’re a rape apologist.
No, you’re just a moron.
Even if I was a moron, that would be better than being a rape apologist. But you know, almost anything is better than that. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Please don’t tell me mr-downer is real.
Please, someone… please please pleeeeeeease tell me this is a sick internet joke.
I am not the sharpest tool in the shed by a landslide. But even I can understand this simple, incontrovertible FACT:
“…when someone says no to sex twenty times in a row, they don’t want it.”
😨
I have to believe this person isn’t for real… Nobody is this dumb.
Do we need to get out the tea analogy on this? It’s seriously not a hard concept. Coerced assent is not consent. And very telling that when one of these apologists starts losing an argument they attack their opponent’s intelligence. 🙄
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brock-obama:
Owls confirmed to be the creepiest birds ever. LOOK AT THE FUCKING THINGS. If you fail to notice the one on the left fucking SWALLOWING a rat, then you have the dude singing some satanic chant or something next to him, and then you have those two other fucking psychos synchronized to make you feel creeped the fuck out with their soulless dance of FUCKING DOOM.
I really am tempted to reblog this every time it’s on my dash. That description is one of the best things on the internet.
Yeahhhh, I want this on my blog again.
OMG MY FAVORITE TUMBLR POST EVER IT’S FINALLY BACK YAY!
Here, have another of my all-time favorite Tumblr posts.
We were just discussing this again and I had to reblog it again because IT IS MY FAVORITE
I’m permanently traumatized that you introduced me to this over lunch, EGT.
::bows with a flourish::
There’s a gif out there of some people reenacting this that makes me laugh til I puke every damn time.
@revfrog
Sweet Jesus
@threewinterssnow your favorite bird.
I’ve seen a lot of curious people wanting to dive into classical music but don’t know where to start, so I have written out a list of pieces to listen to depending on mood. I’ve only put out a few, but please add more if you want to. hope this helps y’all out. :)
stereotypical delightful classical music:
battalia a 10 in d major (biber)
brandenburg concerto no. 5
brandenburg concerto no. 3
symphony no. 45 - “farewell” (haydn)
if you need to chill:
rondo alla turca
fur elise
anitra’s dance
in the steppes of central asia (borodin) (added by viola-ology)
if you need to sleep:
moonlight sonata
swan lake
corral nocturne
if you need to wake up:
morning mood
summer (from the four seasons)
buckaroo holiday (if you’ve played this in orch you might end up screaming instead of waking up joyfully)
if you are feeling very proud:
pomp and circumstance
symphony no. 9 (beethoven; this is where ode to joy came from)
1812 overture
symphony no. 5, finale (tchaikovsky) (added by viola-ology)
american (dvořák)
if you feel really excited:
hoedown (copland)
bacchanale
spring (from the four seasons) (be careful, if you listen to this too much you’ll start hating it)
la gazza ladra
death and the maiden (schubert)
if you are angry and you want to take a baseball bat and start hitting a bush:
dance of the knights (from the romeo and juliet suite by prokofiev)
winter, mvt. 1 (from the four seasons)
symphony no. 10 mvt. 2 (shostakovich)
symphony no. 5 (beethoven)
totentanz (liszt)
quartet no. 8, mvt. 2 (shostakovich) (added by viola-ology)
young person’s guide to the orchestra, fugue (britten) (added by iwillsavemyworld)
if you want to cry for a really long time:
fantasia based on russian themes (rimsky-korsakov)
adagio for strings (barber)
violin concerto in e minor (mendelssohn)
aase’s death
andante festivo
if you want to feel like you’re on an adventure:
an american in paris (gershwin)
if you want chills:
danse macabre
russian easter overture
if you want to study:
eine kleine nachtmusik
bolero (ravel)
serenade for strings (elgar)
scheherazade (rimsky-korsakov) (added by viola-ology)
pines of rome, mvt. 4 (resphigi) (added by viola-ology)
if you really want to dance:
capriccio espagnol (rimsky-korsakov)
blue danube
le cid (massenet) (added by viola-ology)
radetzky march
if you want to start bouncing in your chair:
hopak (mussorgsky)
les toreadors (from carmen suite no.1)
if you’re about to pass out and you need energy:
hungarian dance no. 1
hungarian dance no. 5
if you want to hear suspense within music:
firebird
in the hall of the mountain king
ride of the valkyries
night on bald mountain (mussorgsky) (added by viola-ology)
if you want a jazzy/classical feel:
rhapsody in blue
if you want to feel emotional with no explanation:
introduction and rondo capriccioso
unfinished symphony (schubert)
symphony no. 7, allegretto (beethoven) (added by viola-ology)
canon in d (pachelbel)
if you want to sit back and have a nice cup of tea:
st. paul’s suite
concerto for two violins (vivaldi)
l’arlésienne suite
pieces that don’t really have a valid explanation:
symphony no. 40 (mozart)
cello suite no. 1 (bach)
polovtsian dances
enigma variations (elgar) (added by viola-ology)
perpetuum mobile
pieces that just sound really cool:
scherzo tarantelle
dance of the goblins
caprice no. 24 (paganini)
new world symphony, allegro con fuoco (dvorak) (added by viola-ology)
if you feel like listening to concertos all day (I do not recommend doing that):
concerto for two violins (bach)
concerto for two violins (vivaldi)
violin concerto in a minor (vivaldi)
violin concerto (tchaikovsky) (added by iwillsavemyworld)
cello concerto in c (haydn)
piano concerto, mvt. 1 (pierne) (added by iwillsavemyworld)
harp concerto in E-flat major, mvt. 1 (added by iwillsavemyworld)
and if you really just hate classical music in general:
4′33″ (cage)
a lot of these pieces apply in multiple categories, but I sorted them by which I think they match the most. have fun exploring classical music!
also, thank you to viola-ology and iwillsavemyworld for adding on! if you would like to add on your own suggestions, please reblog and add on or message me so I can give you credit for the suggestion!
I love this list!
Don’t get them stuck in your head you’ll never find them again if you don’t have this post saved fair warning. “That one song with the really killer flute bit,” doesn’t work as a song search.
So important
Howl: Oh God I need an adult
Howl: Wait shit I am an adult
forgot to say that, without Howl chasing girls and Sophie resenting him for it, the film completely erases part of the point of Sophie being old. Wynne Jones is using an idea that Beauvoir talked about - that being an old woman is both tragic (as we lose male attention/attractiveness) and freeing (as we are freed from the male gaze). the idea is that with being old comes liberation, and the true meaning of what it is to be a woman, as society no longer forces gender norms on us.
Sophie is free from Howl’s attentions and therefore safe from harm (a big part of the book is the fact that Sophie believes he eats women’s hearts, and him chasing girls proves this to her). she takes solace in the fact that she’s old, and finds it freeing. when she learns more about Howl (notably: that he doesn’t eat hearts and that he’s not evil), she starts to curse her age and resent him chasing girls. BUT she remains old OF HER OWN VOLITION - Howl notes that she’s perpetuating the spell by wishing to remain “in disguise”. there are SO many layers to this, and lots to do with gender politics - if she’s still old Sophie can’t get hurt, she likes the freedom, etc. but of course on a personal level being old is her denying her feelings for Howl, and also a representation of her low self esteem - being old is a defence mechanism and protection, both on a gender level and a personal one.
and the film kinda… loses this? the only thing that remains is being old = low self esteem. which really sucks. because there’s SO MUCH MORE to Sophie being old in the book (perspective I already mentioned), and a HUGE amount of this is gender politics. that the film just erases.
Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu
-
“Those poor boys”
“She deserves to be punished too.”
“I’m not saying I support rape, but-”
“Sorry to say - she deserved it.”
“She put herself in harm’s way”
“But if she was fingered, then that’s not rape.”
“She ruined their lives.”
“Well she didn’t exactly say ‘no’..”
“Yea, but did you see what she was wearing?”
“Boys will be boys!”
“She should know better than to drink at a party…”
Cannot not reblog.
“She should have tried to enjoy–”
“She’s just saying something now for atten-“
boy am i glad this has so many notes
“But he’s a dude. That’s not ra-”
“He should’ve enjoyed it.”
“She must’ve lead him on.”
“But she orgasmed. That means she liked it - “
“She’s slept with so many people! She’s a slut-“
“Get over it, at least you’re still a virgin”
“Women can’t rape because…”
“Be grateful it wasn’t a man!”
“I’m sorry she hurt you but don’t call what happened to you rape, it’s an insult to the REAL victims…”
“You weren’t raped, you’re just lesbophobic.”
“She shouldn’t have posted provocative photos!”
“She shouldn’t have been dressed like that … she was asking for it!”
“It’s the woman’s responsibility to not put herself in dangerous situations, she should have been more aware.”
reblogging because it’s gotten even better since last time
I love this post!
“Well he paid for dinner, she kind of owed him.”
“She’s his wife, it’s her job to please him.”
“Oral isn’t rape.”
“Well he wasn’t armed, she could have walked away.”
“Guys can’t be raped, they love sex!”
“She didn’t fight back; it wasn’t rape.”
A good post
the day I do not reblog this is the day I’m buried six feet under
Slutty Witch
Bwahaha
i swear to god, men raising their voice is the most terrifying thing in the whole world. they dont understand, like its an immediate panic response, game over
I actually had no idea women found this so scary
my downstairs neighbors fight on a regular basis, and every time he starts yelling i’m a little afraid he’s going to kill her. i have no reason to think this except that he is a man and he is angry
My math teacher has a loud voice and a temper and he scares the living shit out of me almost everyday. He’s made me and other kids cry more than once and he and his teacher buddies make a joke out of terrifying students.
this was women in general? i knew my gf didn’t like it but I was unaware if this affected most women
Yes, it does
As a woman, I had no idea it effected other women like this. I was too afraid to even talk about it. I thought I was weak. Thanks for bringing attention to this.
My dad thinks it’s funny that I used to cry when he raised his voice. I freak out whenever some one does. Once my director did, and I started crying I couldn’t stop. I’m glad to see I’m not alone…
This is so important– seeing how common this is– and I also want you all to know that this is not normal. It isn’t something instinctively ingrained into women, to be afraid of men. There is no natural state of men being a threat that women constantly have to be afraid of. This is cultural. So many women and girls here have a mutual understanding of this feeling, and I think it really shows an unsettling truth about our society, particularly about how men are raised to act and how so many women have this defensive reaction gradually develop. It’s so important that these people have their voices heard, because it teaches us about problems that we just can’t deny the existence of any longer.
I’m glad I’m not the only one
My fellow men, pay attention. I didn’t realize how scary this could be until one of my exes explained it to me, and it’s heartbreaking.
Also, when we move too much during an argument, or lean forward, it’s scary, and I never knew. I was even a little insulted at first, because surely she didn’t think I would hurt her. But see, that doesn’t matter. It wasn’t a sign that she mistrusted me specifically; it’s a conditioned response. (Although if you keep doing it once you realize it scares her, she SHOULDN’T trust you.)
Not every woman has been physically harmed by a man she trusted, but every woman KNOWS a woman who has.
I used to be horrible about this, because I didn’t realize how intimidating it was. I didn’t understand why the woman I was with clammed up or tried to tell me what she thought I wanted to hear, and I only got angrier, and acted even more like an asshole. It was wrong. It was abusive. It didn’t matter if I INTENDED it that way; it was still emotionally abusive. And it was inexcusable.
I get that when passions are high, and when you’re frustrated, it’s a natural tendency to let your voice get louder, to shout and gesture and lean forward. But you can train yourself to do better. You can train yourself to keep more of an even tone, to refrain from large and fast gestures, to not lean into her personal space. I did. I’m not perfect at it yet, but goddamn it, I WILL be.
Don’t tell me it’s too hard, that you just can’t do it, or that you “shouldn’t have to.” I’m 53 years old and just now getting the hang of it, and if this old dog can learn something new, so can you.
Note to guys: It really, REALLY doesn’t matter if you’re thinking, “but I would never…”
History is littered with the bodies of women who believed a man “would never.” This includes women killed by men who honestly, deeply, truly believed they “would never”… right up until she said that one thing or moved in just that way and he just got so mad, just that once, and pushed her or punched her or slashed her or shot her… just once, y’know, to shut her up, or because she was flinching and didn’t she know that HE’S NOT LIKE THAT and I’LL TEACH HER TO BE AFRAID OF ME…
We are trained, from infancy, that Men With Loud Voices are a source of pain from which we cannot escape, and attempts to escape may result in more pain. And as soon as we’re old enough to comprehend a world broader than our immediate circle, a world that extends into the past and will run into the future, we realize that there is no way, no way at all, to tell which men “would never” and which men “would never… except if.”
We live or die on that “if.” And any man who doesn’t like facing that hyper-vigilance can work on fixing OTHER MEN, not women’s fear.
The reaction shouldn’t be “not all men are like that;” it should be “no woman should have to live in fear.”
It’s telling that so many people will hear a story of long-term abuse and say, “why did she stay with him?” and not “why did he treat her like that?”
This made me cry.
Don’t skip over this.
so my question is this : if we are getting yelled at by you women are we just to suppose to be quiet??
@blcksheepking you’re missing the point entirely and making this about something it’s not. Why do men do this? Turn the topic around when they don’t like it. “You women”? You clearly already know the answer but you’re too busy being condescending.
Cool gif showing human embryonic development… <3 <3 <3