Litgram

Literature, grammar, writing, language, study tips, and growing up. I'm an English teacher! Have a question about an assignment or need some clarification? I'll try to help!

[infpisme]

[corvid-language-library]

Remember that if you want to do more of something, you have to do less of something else. It's that time of year where people set goals for the new year and they have plans and hopes and it's always focusing on what they want to do more of. More studying, more exercise, more crafting, more socialising, more making things from scratch. Okay, great. What are you going to do less of in order to have the time and energy to do more of those things you really want to do?

[corvid-language-library]

And if your answer to this is "less doomscrolling" or "less bedrotting" then great, but please think about why you're doing those things. No one's doomscrolling or bedrotting because they don't have things they'd rather be doing. Actually, I'm willing to bet you have a lot of things you'd rather be doing and you spend your life internally screaming at yourself to do literally any one of the many things you want to be doing instead, but you don't have the energy for them all and you can't work out how to prioritize them, so doomscrolling spares you from making that decision. Or perhaps you're burned out from taking on too many projects and you need to rest your brain, so you lie in bed because you don't even have the energy to get started anymore.

This is going to be a really hard pill to swallow, but the truth is you might not be able to balance all your hobbies and all your projects the way you'd like. If you want to finish writing that book, you might have to reduce your daily drawing habit to a couple of times a week. If you want to do yoga every morning, you might have to accept not cooking from scratch as often. If you want to spend more time with your family, you might have to cut down on your yearly reading goal. I'm not saying give up on your hobbies; I'm be realistic with your time and your energy and be kind to yourself. Stop expecting yourself to do more and do better every single year. You don't have to constantly be growing upwards and reaching for the stars; you can be content with where you are, or even cut parts of yourself back to make space for other things in your life to bloom.

Think about what your priorities are and make peace with doing less of other things. Less is okay. Less is not failing. Less is self care.

[rowlfthedog]

[ms-demeanor]

I'm sorry, professor, I consider publishing your course a day late, having a mandatory live zoom meeting during business hours to stay enrolled for an asynchronous class, and requiring students to use a $60 ***pdf*** that you wrote as their textbook to be exceptionally unprofessional and since I've still got 14 days to get a refund I'm totally not paying $150 to take your class.

Also, for all the newbie professors out there: a syllabus is not just a greeting and a list of assignments. If you haven't given your students AT LEAST your office hours, your late work policy, and your preferred method of being contacted, then you have not given your students a syllabus it's just sparkling announcements.

But really. Sir. SIR. You teach Speech 100. This is one of the most basic classes with like, 20 of the most widely available accepted textbooks and you want me to pay sixty dollars for a pdf of a book that you rewrite every semester so that there are no previous editions?

Buddy this is interpersonal communication, not introductory rhetoric. Why is one of your *four* total assignments about Socrates?

Maybe it's the fact that I've taken Spch 100 interpersonal communication three times already, maybe it's the fact that I grew up with somebody who taught Spch 100 interpersonal communication from 1981 to 2018, but buddy what the fuck are you doing?

"Some of our lectures will only be available for 24 hours so it is up to you to stay on top of it."

Friend, you are teaching an asynchronous online 100-level class at a community college during a pandemic. Get off your high horse, a third of your students are probably parents. There is no reason whatsoever to limit access to course materials to 24 hours unless you are doing it to be a controlling asshole.

Also YOU published your class a day and a half late! You don't get to publish your class late with an incomplete syllabus and tell students to "stay on top of it." Especially not since that means that people have two fewer days to buy your PDF textbook and only one full day to prepare for your mandatory 1pm on a Tuesday zoom meeting!

Why do you require me to have access to a printer for an online class? Oh yeah it's because you expect me to print out and draw on sections of your $60 ebook.

SIR. No thank you.

Kids, new students: this is a level of bullshit and disorganization from a professor that you do not have to put up with. This is a neatly ordered series of red flags that say "this professor is going to be absolutely unbearable."

Also *any* humanities class where your whole grade is 4 assignments should get serious side-eye. You should be able to pass most 100 level humanities classes by just turning in weekly assignments. 4 assignments means that by the time you figure out how the professor grades you're probably close to halfway through the class. Look for classes that require weekly participation as a major chunk of the grade because that way, even if you fuck up a project in a major way, just showing up can save your ass.

[ms-demeanor]

Me the first time I was in college: this isn't fair, but I guess these are the hoops I gotta jump through.

Me now: absolutely not. I am too old, too experienced, and my ass is too fat to fit through that hoop. Kid, you are an ADJUNCT, what the hell do you think you're doing?

[ms-demeanor]

One of the stated goals of the first assignment isn't "assess understanding of the subject" or "introduce basic concepts" it is "prove access to course materials, such as the textbook."

Friend. You are supposed to have global learning outcomes for your students. If your goal is "teach students how to pass MY" class and not "teach students the basics of interpersonal communication" you are a bad teacher.

[ms-demeanor]

Okay everyone get out your bingo cards because the professor just managed to get his class halfway updated and here's what I've found:

"This Class Is Not A Safe Space"

"Discussion question: If you are MALE say four things that you think females normally say. If you are FEMALE say four things that you think males normally say."

Prager U vid is one of three total resources on the topic of climate

Chris Rock "How to keep from getting your ass kicked by the police" video as part of the "conflict resolution" unit

Democratic-Capitalism-Exceeds-Socialism-in-Economic-Efficiency-as-Well-as-in-Morality-by-Ayaan-Hirsi-Ali.pdf (Paper by the Hoover Institution)

This uncredited image:

The Unfortunate Fallout of Campus Postmodernism - Scientific American.pdf

A video on the "proven" techniques of how to spot a lie from the author who owns this webpage (time to update your security certs, Pamela):

And just for shits and giggles, the first assignment is due one month into the semester so you'll have no idea what his grading style is until well past the add/drop date and that assignment is the only one that requires the $60 pdf textbook that he wrote. This is HIS description of that assignment:

Purpose – To check that the student has completed initial tasks; included, but not limited to: 1. Having access to the textbook. 2. Demonstrating that the student has interacted with the text. 3. Reading and understanding the text.

Buddy.

No.

Are you fucking kidding me?

[ms-demeanor]

Also the midterm and final were scheduled for a one-hour slot on weekdays in spite of, again, being an asynchronous course.

So I've already dropped it (good riddance) but I probably WILL contact the dean and say "hey so I signed up for this asynchronous course because I am a returning student with a full-time job and your professor decided on his own that he was going to schedule 1pm zoom times and 1pm exams for all his async students, which is probably going to cause problems for other students who are enrolled because I'd guess that at least some of them have classes that are SCHEDULED for T/TH 1pm class meetings oh and also just FYI your boy was 28 hours late on publishing his class and didn't get his syllabus up until 34 hours after he was supposed to so I'm not really sure his time management skills are up to teaching async classes and ADDITIONALLY he noted that he would only make the lecture materials available for 24 hours and then did not list when those lectures were scheduled in his syllabus so it would be very easy for busy students to miss lectures because he didn't schedule them but also won't be leaving the materials available. So. You know. Someone should probably check on that."

[ms-demeanor]

His score on ratemyprofessor is 1.8 and even the two people who gave him a 4 say "I failed the final because he hadn't taught us any of that information or put any of those fields of study on his final exam study guide."

[ms-demeanor]

Also, new students, you must learn the proper way to complain to the dean.

Every department has That One Fucking Asshole who everyone wants to see gone but students tend to complain about personalities or "why is my speech teacher assigning an economic ethics paper published by a conservative think-tank funded by the Waltons" and that is not how it's done. The administration may agree that he's an asshole, but "he's an asshole" isn't a good enough reason not to renew someone's contract and go through the time and effort to bring in a new hire.

So you get them on bureaucratic shit. "Published his course late," "did not provide office hours," "did not provide a way to communicate and did not respond to calls, emails, or canvas messages," "set required meeting times for asynchronous courses" - THIS is the shit that the administration can pin a professor to the wall on because it isn't student said vs. Professor said.

Like, look, you are important and your feelings and thoughts matter, but the administration knows there will always be someone who is offended about something innocuous who doesn't know how school works and they're not going to write up a professor because of how a student thinks the class should be run. But they WILL write up and add observations for a professor who doesn't run a classroom the way that the school policy says a class should be run.

[gallusrostromegalus]

It's getting to be school time again, and some of you will have garbage professors.

You're paying for this, do not accept this kind of behavior. Read and re-read the last part from @ms-demeanor because complaining effectively is key to stopping this bullshit.

If you are stuck with a professor that is administering thier class well but being hostile, belittling students, not making reasonable accommodations or otherwise being a jackass, write down specific incidents (what was said to who where and when, if possible, take screenshots or make recordings of class), and look up your school's nondiscrimination policies, classroom safety standards and inclusivity goals. It's way more effective to say "on September 3rd professor last name said "(fucking nonsense here)" to student Y, which is a clear violation of classroom safety rule (Cite specific rule) and stated inclusivity goal "(goal here)" and I want to know what administrative actions I can expect to see while you handle this." Than it is to say "hey prof lastname's been really mean/a bigot in class"

The admin almost certainly wants to fire this asshole too. Give them the legal ammo they need.

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

Shared before, without Gallus’s addition. Time to share again!

[canthaveshitingotham-crucified]

i hate it when i cant even write a poem about something because its too obvious. like in the airbnb i was at i guess it used to be a kids room cause you could see the imprint of one little glow in the dark star that had been missed and painted over in landlord white. like that's a poem already what's the point

[canthaveshitingotham-crucified]

you get it. you get the themes. i dont have time to do it justice. just look at it its on the ceiling

[brenna]

[teaboot]

[wheresmyphonemp3]

[inthefallofasparrow]

[weaselle]

these exchanges and this fiddling about for the collective to appreciate in passing is, to me, true artistic spirit. I don't know what the past was truly like to live, but in my heart i know that humans have always been... like this

[rythms-of-synthax-deactivated20]

Quote of the day

[baffledtreesquid]

I’m seeing a lot of people saying this post changed their brain chemistry, and as a neuroscientist I wanted to say yes!!! Yes it does!

Wanting something requires dopamine signaling, but liking something doesn’t.

If you have a mental illness/disorder that affects dopamine, you might feel that you don’t want to do the things that you like. You do still like them. You will appreciate having done them.

Let your likes guide you.

(If you want to read more, here’s one experimental paper about it. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5171207/ This theory called the incentive-sensitization theory was originally created to explain behaviors in addiction but can be applied elsewhere as well)

Rewards are both ‘liked’ and ‘wanted’, and those two words seem almost interchangeable. However, the brain circuitry that mediates the psych

[amyamychan]

[Image Description]

Black text on a white background. It reads:

"Focus on your likes, not your wants.

You may not want to exercise, but you like how it makes you feel.

You may not want to write, but you like the feeling of accomplishment.

You may not want to wake up early, but you like the calm beauty of morning.

Wanting is the desire you feel before doing something. Liking is the satisfaction you feel after doing something. Let your likes guide you.

[End ID]

[beardedmrbean]

just some lads, being fellows

[skullchicken]

If you have achieved something, please remember to observe a mandatory period of basking in the warm glow of your achievement like a lizard on a stone, lest you teach your brain that effort is futile, actually, because it didn't get to enjoy its happy chemicals, so, naturally, nothing good ever comes of trying. (And no, avoiding punishment is not a reward!)

I recommend, like, 5% of basking time in relation to whatever time you invested into achieving the thing minimum. And if you can't make your own bask, friend-brought is fine (= tell your friends!).

[westiec]

5% is a long time for some things and the idea of actually celebrating my efforts for that long is kinda blowing my mind. hm.

[dredsina]

Ive said this before but swear the biggest skill to learn as an adult is how to resist high-pressure sales tactics. You do NOT have to answer questions with anything other than "Sorry I'm not interested." No matter how nice they are or no matter how many follow up questions they ask or even how agitated they get when you stand your ground. Just keep saying I'm not interested. Don't answer their questions. Don't give them an opening to try to push back on your reasons. Be a fucking brick wall of I'm not interested.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

When we bought our car, I told Sean to let me handle it. I walked in and said "We have X for a down payment and cannot pay more than Y in monthly payments." My Y number had some leeway, but I didn't mention that.

First thing the sales guy did after I laid down the rules was turn to Sean and go, "What's your number?" And Sean said. "Oh, no, you negotiate with Gayle."

So, strike one for the sales guy. Could not divide and conquer us by implying THE MAN would not surprised at what I laid down.

Sales guy then had to confer with his manager and left us at his desk for several minutes. I have a vague recollection (this was 16 years ago) of Sean and I amusing ourselves doing bits about the other people there to look at cars. I am sure we did not give off the stressed or nervous energy they were hoping for.

Guy comes back. His first offer is fifty dollars a month more than I told him we could pay. I looked at him and said "I gave you our upper limit."

"Well, but what's another 50 bucks a month?"

"Something I can't afford."

He didn't know what to do with my open and unashamed admittal that I had a budget because my money was finite.

He went back to talk to the manager again.

It took two more rounds of "I told you what I can afford" before he finally came back 20 bucks under what I'd stated as my max.

The trick to resisting high-stress sales tactics is doing the math at home, knowing exactly what you can afford, and then walking into the room and stating that number minus 15%. Then refusing to budge from that number. Never, ever, meet then where they want. Always meet them where you want. Because at the end of the day, you can walk away and go somewhere else and say "I told the people at Z what my terms were, and they refused to work with me. Here are my terms. Meet them, and you make a sale today."

[crabussy]

"live every day like it's your last": scary. weirdly foreboding. not a good thought process if you get anxious easily. stressful. so much pressure that it loops back around to making you do nothing. "live every day like it's your FIRST": everything becomes fascinating. renews the excitement of discovering things for the first time again. makes you feel like exploring stuff. #mywisdom

[itsnotwhatimlike]

embarrassment has good bones

[spookylecturafemme]

My personal favorite part of this piece

[wiisagi-maiingan]

Hey, I know this is the "lovingly bullying your friends" website but please make sure that your friends are actually okay with the jokes you make about them and the things you tease them about, even really innocent things like making fun of typos or pronunciation because that shit is fine for most people but VERY hurtful for others.

[wiisagi-maiingan]

If you make a joke and you notice your friend getting quieter suddenly or they stop responding to messages or they try to change the subject, it's a good idea to take them aside or message them privately and ask genuinely if they were hurt by what you said and if they want you to stop making those kinds of jokes. It can save a lot of heartache and hurt feelings.

[flavoracle]

Mental Crop Rotation

When farmers grow the same crop too many years in a row, it can leave their soil depleted of minerals and other nutrients that are vital to the health of their fields.

To avoid this, farmers will often alternate the crops that they grow because some plants will use up different minerals (such as nitrogen) while other plants replenish those minerals. This process is known as “crop rotation.”

So the next time you find that you need to step away from a project to work on something else for a while, don’t beat yourself up for “quitting” that project. Give yourself permission to practice “mental crop rotation” to maintain a healthy brain field.

Because I’ve found that when that unnecessary guilt and pressure are removed from the process, a good mental crop rotation can help you feel more energized and invigorated than ever once you’re ready to rotate back to that project.

[bomberqueen17]

: A crucial part of crop rotation is that the field is let fallow sometimes. You plant what’s called a “cover crop”, which is something you don’t expect to harvest– it’s there for its roots to hold the soil in place, and often it’ll be what’s called a nitrogen-fixer, i.e. a plant that can pull nitrogen out of the air and fix it into the soil with its roots (but sometimes it won’t, sometimes it’s really just there to shelter the soil surface), and then you’ll till in that cover crop, or let the frost kill it and the stalks lie as mulch, and then you’ll rotate productive crops back into that field the next season. 

It’s important, though, to understand that during the fallow period, no nutrients are removed from that ground, and nothing is expected of it. Whatever the land grows then, it keeps, and it gets tilled back in or decomposes in place, to return its energy to the earth.

We’re not allowed, in our current society, to just let our minds be fallow for a bit, to produce nothing for export, to make nothing that can be sold. But it’s part of good land stewardship, to give every field time when it doesn’t need to give you anything back. 

So yes, grow and produce different things from time to time, rotate them around your mind and exercise different mental muscles, take different things from your creative processes, yes– but also, give yourself a fallow spell now and again, and let the field of your mind grow things for itself to keep, to break down and save for later. 

[highvelocitysandwich]

Positive mental health AND agriculture??!?

*slams reblog button*

[neil-gaiman]

Dear Mr. Gaiman,

I hope you are doing well. I'm sending this ask again for the fourth time because the first three don't seem to have reached you. It's OK if you don't answer though.

1) I keep plagiarizing accidentally and it's frustrating me. I came up with "Crying has always fascinated me as a concept. It is the first thing humans do after getting out of the womb. I wonder why they think it’s a sign of weakness, when it’s what proves that they’re alive!” and was rather proud to have written it only to find out some weeks later that Charlotte Brönte wrote a similar thing in Jane Eyre. I'm certain that I have never read this line before in my life, let alone the book. I also wrote the line "I loved you like a blind preacher in a godless temple", then realized that I came up with it while thinking about this comic called, The God of Arepo. And then I found out from your reply to an ask that you have a gay character called Foxglove. Coincidentally, my main character has the same name and the same sexual orientation. If all my new ideas are just other people's ideas recycled, am I still a writer?

2) Now, a sillier question: I was in a state between awake and asleep and for some reason, when I heard Aziraphale's voice whisper, "Sometimes it takes more than a snap of the fingers to perform a miracle." I don't understand how or why or if this is grammatically accurate. Have you ever written such a quote before? (If not, can I keep it?) If yes, what does it mean?

Please forgive me for wasting your time with a long ask.

Sincerely,

A confused, teenage writer

It's not plagiarism when you notice that someone else said something similar to you after you wrote it. That's just you living in world in which lots of people have made a lot of art for thousands of years. Plagiarism is when you read something and then write that thing pretending it's yours.

And the quotes you bring back from dreams are free.

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

"You're not the main character" also applies to thinking that you're so uniquely horrible that everyone you meet is deeply invested in judging and hating you. That's just as much of a cognitive distortion as believing that you're the center of everyone's admiration. I promise you that other people got their own lives to live and their own struggles and flaws to cope with.

[neil-gaiman]

NEIL HELP

I'm supposed to go to a birthday party tomorrow and I really don't want to... my best friend is the only one I feel comfortable with and she can't make it.. how do I avoid this without being rude or hurting anyone? I'm really nervous.

I believe that the phrase "I'm really sorry, some personal stuff that I can't talk about came up unexpectedly and I won't be able to come" is designed to get you out of things you don't want to go to.

If people press you, you are allowed to repeat, "It's personal. I'm afraid I can't talk about it."

[blackwoolncrown]

pretty shitty how baseline human activities like singing, dancing and making art got turned into skills  instead of being seen as behaviors

so now it’s like ‘the point of doing them is to get good at them’ and not ‘this is a thing humans do, the way birds sing and bees make hives’.

[sonateharder]

I know I’ve posted this before, but it bears repeating.

This is a thing humans do; you don’t have to be good at it to enjoy it.