Cate 👽

1998 she/her

[loki1aufeyson]

I just watched The Hobbit for the first time, (I know I’m late, I read the books years ago just never took the time to watch the movies.)

& I just want to talk about some things that really stuck with me 🥺

First when Thorin was half insane, lost all trust in the company, and was consumed with greed over the hoard of gold. He just … pulls Bilbo aside and tells him he’s the only one he trusts .. over lifelong family and friends he chooses Bilbo. AND he doesn’t even say “This is my gold alone no one else deserves it.” He literally tells Bilbo “This is our gold.” Like he just wanted Bilbo by his side no matter what

also Bilbo almost being able to break through to him when he was talking about planting his acorn and Thorin just looking at him with soft eyes

And the parallel of the screen cutting back and forth from Bilbo crying over Thorin’s body, to Tauriel crying over Kili’s body. And Thranduil saying “it only hurts so much because it was real.” Just to cut back to Bilbo is just 💔💔💔

And at the end Bilbo having no words to describe what Thorin was to him or how much he meant to him

i remember not particularly caring about the book but the movies hit me like why couldn’t the husbands just live happily ever after ❤️‍🩹

[loki1aufeyson]

I really want a dark!Harry fic that instead of Harry going to Hogwarts ready to accept anyone that loves him, and then later getting betrayed by the light side

he ends of hating and distrusting everyone because of the way his relatives treated him. he goes to Hogwarts and charms all the adults because he knows how cruel they can be if they don’t like you

he studies everything in his path because he never knows when something is going to be taken away again

he manipulates and charms his peers because he’s never needed friendships but he knows allies can be useful in the future

just a full on Harry being Voldemort’s equal in every way type of fic

with the bonus of Dumbledore realizing he fucked up

any recommendations? 🥺

[loki1aufeyson]

long nonsensical twilight ramblings, enjoy.

Okay !! Let me preface this by saying that I haven’t watched or read Twilight Series in years !! BUT ... i was thinking about vampire Bella ...

I will always think that Super-Self-Control-Bella is a cop out.

Jasper and Emmett were literally betting how many humans she would kill in her newborn years. So she shouldn’t have ever been as cool, calm, and collected as she was. ANd I get that for story building purposes she couldn’t be a blood thirsty monster because her daughter had a heartbeat and the planning for the volturi had to happen ,,,, but it still sucked. 

Like, hear me out, Bella should have killed that mountain climber straight up. And then after she realized what she did, the guilt from that action is what could have kept her in check. She had a monstrous moment, and after that moment realized she didn’t want to be a monster, so she kept her blood lust under better control. 

BUt THAT also brings me to Vampire BElla’s special power.

Having her be a shield was just too obvious. Having her mind be silent was fine, they could have just gone with the “you think on a different wave length” thing, and be done with it. 

But, Think about how the vampires inquire their powers. Intuitive human Edward can now read minds. Human Jane who wanted the world to feel what it felt like to burn alive can now project pain with a single look. 

Now think about Human Bella’s skill. She drew people in. This ordinary, plain girl brought people in like a moth to a flame. Jessica said her first day that she was the “shiny new toy,” but Jessica herself was drawn in by Bella, and the novelty didn’t really go away. For seemingly no reason other than being the new girl, she caught the attention of her human classmates, and she kept it. 

She also caught the attention of the Cullen’s. As rocky as the start was, it ended with them all willing to die to protect her. With Emmett and Alice and Esme and Carlisle all loving her as family. With Edward, who never showed interest in anyone, wanting to spend forever with her. With war-hardened Jasper telling her she was worth it..Think about how broken the family was when they left.. Of all the schools, and all the humans, what was so special about Bella Swan?  She drew them in, captured their attention, and kept it.  

The wolf pack was also willing to die for her, despite the fact that she wasn't a part of their people, both pre-resume and post-resume. The pack were her friends, some before they shifted and some after, but they still let her be apart of the pack despite not imprinting with any of them. Other than her knowledge on vampires what did she bring to the pack, other than herself. 

Bella was able to make herself an entire supernatural army to fight against newborns, when the safest option for them, the option with the least amount of bloodshed, would have been to just hand Bella over to Victoria and let the volturi take care of the newborns. 

SO I didn’t really think this through and I have no idea where this is going and it probably doesn’t even make sense, but 100% Bella’s special vampire power should have been allure ,,, or even the ability to switch alliances and make people fight for her ( which for have made for an interesting final fight )

[loki1aufeyson]

I need a twilight post-credit scene that has Charlie and Billy sitting on a dock holding fishing poles, surrounded by empty beer cans and hamburger wrappers, and Charlie is just continuously gushing praises of how great Dr. Cullen is, all the while Billy is clutching his fishing pole and staring stone faced at the camera.

[captainevans]

give me the romcom we deserve starring chris evans and chris hemsworth ya cowards

[captainevans]

hear me out: evans is a mechanic and hemsworth owns a flower shop across the street and they have a love/hate thing going on and they try to make each other jealous by getting with the same person meanwhile this person is just trying to matchmake these two hopeless idiots on the downlow

[captainevans]

can you imagine hemsworth just saying his peonies smell fucking incredible and he gives one to evans after he begrudgingly fixes his motorcycle off the clock.

hemsworth’s australian accent has no effect on evans whatsoever. clearly. he never melts. he is calm, cool, and collected the entire time they’re spending together.

and if evans has to stick his head inside the mini fridge in his office after each time they talk, that’s no one’s business but his own.

[captainevans]

john krasinski works for evans and keeps throwing out popular rom com tropes they’re following and evans scoffs at every one and michael pena works for hems and keeps a tally of how many times they give each other heart eyes when the other isn’t looking. he has a board with a huge 😍 emoji that he keeps that he made with his kids because they’re just as invested as he is and the fact that this board is placed near “shrinking” violets is not lost on hemsworth and he resents that thank you very much.

[captainevans]

for the record if anyone ever needs to passive aggressively tell someone ‘fuck you’ in flowers you need a bouquet of geraniums (stupidity), foxglove (insincerity), meadowsweet (uselessness), yellow carnations (you have disappointed me), and orange lilies (hatred).

hemsworth knows that. evans doesn’t.

[captainevans]

meanwhile evans’ office manager hayley atwell is caught in the middle because she’s a friend to both and is constantly, aggressively, banging her head against the wall because “how can these dumb arses not see it?!” and her girlfriend (still workshopping, possibly priyanka chopra/tessa thompson/constance wu/gugu mbatha raw) tries to get her to relax while simultaneously biting her tongue because she said, she said, this was going to backfire on her but she didn’t want to listen

[epiphanies]

“Evans, my motorcycle is acting up again,” he says and John holds back a laugh. This was the third time this week. 

“I literally just fixed it two days ago though,” Evans says. 

“Yeah, funny how it keeps breaking down,” John says, wiping his hands, and smirking. 

Chris thinks John can shut up. Chris also thinks the way Evans walks around in that tank top should be illegal, but no one else has to know that.

[captainevans]

evans goes over to get a bouquet for his mother’s birthday and if michael just so happens to get hemsworth’s white t-shirt wet it was simply an accident that he overshot the row of petunias with the water hose

[epiphanies]

Chris sets about fixing Hemsworth’s bike, fuming. Maybe you didn’t do a good enough job. Maybe he didn’t do a good enough job?? Chris had never had any complaints against his work and now this guy had a problem for the third fucking time this week. Maybe they just didn’t teach driving in Australia, what the fuck.

Two hours later finds Chris giving a once-over to Hemsworth’s bike, making sure there were no more problems, while Hemsworth waits for him to finish. Just like last time. And the time before that.

“Alright, looks good. I don’t think you should be having any more problems,” he says pointedly. Maybe you didn’t do a good enough job, my ass.

Hemsworth seems to falter for a moment, looking apologetic (probably a trick of the light), before pulling out a bouquet of hydrangeas seemingly out of nowhere and holds it out.

“What’s this?”

“We had some extra ones in the shop.”

“Extra ones.”

“Yeah maybe it’ll brighten up this dump,” Hemsworth says before walking out with this bike.

Chris looks at John who isn’t bothering to hide his laughter. “Did he just call my shop a dump?”

“He also gave you hydrangeas,” Hayley points out.

“They were extra ones.”

Hayley rolls her eyes and leaves the room muttering something about children and dumbasses.

Chris looks at John. “Krasinski. You know what she’s talking about?”

“No clue boss, I don’t get paid for talking about your love life,” he says.

Chris wants to deck him and wipe off that smirk.

[captainevans]

evans mutters that everyone around him is an idiot as he makes his way to his office to find a cup to put the flowers in.

his eyes linger towards his computer and he makes the snap decision to google the meaning of hydrangeas

google doesn’t help for shit

[captainevans]

after delivering the flowers hemsworth returns to his shop just as michael comes out of the storage room with arms full of ribbon he needs for centerpieces, his children trailing behind him. 

“how’d it go, boss?”

“good? i think?”

“what do you mean ‘you think’?”

“he-”

“sit.”

hemsworth sighs and lowers himself onto the stool next to the workbench, scrubbing his hands across his face. 

“go on.”

sending michael a look that says dude i’m trying, he continues. “i waited for him to finish my bike just like we planned-”

“don’t forget us!”

hemsworth smiles at michael’s daughters. “of course not girls.”

“get on with it, man! i am dying of suspense here. you’re killing me. oh, i hope you can live with yourself when i go. tell us what the dreamy mechanic said!”

i said it once, once,  under my breath, how the fuck. “so i waited until he was finished to give him the hydrangeas and told him maybe that would help brighten up that dump.”

a beat passes. michael and his daughters stare blankly at hemsworth. 

and then, three voices ring out simultaneously. 

“YOU CALLED HIS PLACE A DUMP?!”

“YOU GAVE HIM HYDRANGEAS?!”

“I was trying to flirt, just like you three said! And what’s wrong with hydrangeas they mean heartfelt honest emotions and gratitude.”

“They also mean you’re not interested in him romantically. What else did you give him besides that?”

“…just the hydrangeas”, he mumbles.

“CHRIS.”

[captainevans]

two scenes follow next: a couple of days after the hydrangea disaster hayley and evans have a heart to heart at night and she tells him that she knows he’s scared to put himself out there after how badly his last relationship ended but he deserves to be happy and it would be good for him….and says who knows? maybe someone who walks into the shop will catch his attention and he won’t be feeling so conflicted

MEANWHILE

hemsworth is still internally facepalming and grumbling to michael that maybe this was a bad idea after all and he should just move on to someone else.

ENTER CHRIS PINE.

what evans and hems don’t know is that everyone in their lives is conspiring to get them together

because they’re fucking hopeless and they clearly can’t do this themselves

so they hire aspiring actor chris pine to…stir the flower pot, as it were. if they can’t see they belong together, maybe seeing someone else try to get in will make them want to act on what - who - they truly want

OPERATION WHAT IN CARNATION IS A GO*.

*krasinski named it that, michael was enthusiastically onboard with the name, and hayley knows when she’s fighting a losing battle so she throws her hands up and reluctantly agrees

[captainevans]

pine’s objective: to be charming but not too charming. he wants to get them both interested, and he’s confident enough to know if he was his actual self he could snag the two easily.

this isn’t about him though.

he shows up at evans’ shop one day with his “car” in tow, and he’s funny, sweet, very nice but still reserved. evans doesn’t seem like he’s into the too forward types right off the bat so pine plays it cool, but still makes it very clear that he’s interested as he’s leaving.

a few days later, he stops by hemsworth’s, telling him that he wants a longer lasting plant that’ll keep in his office and not need too much maintenance.

when hemsworth tells him “you’re looking for something succulent like then”, pine, biting his lip a little, looks him up and down and says “yeah i am.”

after their unexpected interactions, each chris can’t help but shake the feeling that this new chris isn’t that chris, and they don’t know what to do with that information.

[captainevans]

his goal is to make the guys slightly more interested in him so they’d both be seen out in public together and each guy needs to see pine out with the other

now remember pine is also working for their friends. michael, hayley, and john will make passing comments about how cute pine is, but also ask about the other chris. “i thought you two were going somewhere?” questions …which leads to both of them sighing and finally admitting out loud they thought so too.

[captainevans]

pine plays into that.

he’s extra flirty when he’s with one and can see the other trying not to pay attention when he’s at one of their shops. it works; both are lowkey fuming and trying not to let it get to them. they’re not exclusive pine can flirt with whoever he wants.

BUT THEN

the group has given him collective data on what the guys like/don’t like in people they’re interested in.

pine mentions he’s not into dogs or disney to evans, and that having children isn’t something he sees in his future.

and michael told him that even though the shop has a presence on social media, he’s in charge of it because hemsworth detests it so much.

“if you’re taking a photo of a moment, are you truly in the moment, mate?”

so pine gets to work on unleashing his inner instagram ho, obsessively checking his phone after every post watching the numbers instead of listening to hemsworth talk excitedly about whatever shipment of a new plant he got in that week.

both end up deep in thought, it was never like this with chris.

[captainevans]

over the next two weeks, evans and hemsworth pull the plug on their relationships with pine, citing that it just wasn’t going to go anywhere and not giving anyone more information when asked.

pine did his job, but the group still worries that they went about this the wrong way when neither makes a move and appear more sullen than ever.

because evans and hemsworth were each trying to make the other jealous they haven’t really talked that much. even without the flirty banter, they just miss each other.

but at the start of the third week they each get to their shops early and it’s the first real moment they’ve had together in a long time.

they’re both walking on eggshells because they know things have changed between them but they don’t know where they stand. a little small talk gets made and they move to unlock their doors, with evans turning around at the last moment to cast another look at hemsworth before stepping inside.

and after closing his, hemsworth leans his head back against it and breathes deeply, trying to recalibrate himself before tending his gardenias.

[captainevans]

that friday hemsworth and the group have gathered at john’s place to hang out while evans remains at his shop putting in extra hours on a huge commission he’s been given.

hemsworth’s sullen mood that evans isn’t there matches the storm clouds rumbling outside, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by the others and they share concerned glances whenever he’s not looking.

michael caves first - and the others follow - explaining their plan on how they just wanted them to finally get together and be happy, so they enlisted pine to speed things along but that now both guys are more miserable than ever.

“look, you want him right?”

“yeah, john.”

“then tell him. better yet, go to him! right now. run over there like he’s the sally to your harry, and go lay it all out. go man, go!”

hemsworth’s out the door before the first raindrop hits the ground.

[captainevans]

hemsworth reaches evans’ shop, soaked to the bone and heart pounding out of his chest.

as he draws nearer to the open garage door, he’s struck with the realization that he doesn’t have a damn clue on what to say.

and i’ve never seen when harry met sally. fuck.

he can jerry maguire this. hopefully.

he calls out. “hello?”

“chris? what -?”

“okay, let me get this out. i hate that things have shifted between us. i miss coming over here and talking with you and being with you, fuck, i miss you. and i didn’t act onbit enough and make it more known that i cared for you and we have wasted so much, so much time, not being together. not being us. and now i just… i don’t know. i wasn’t complete, i wasn’t even close to being in the same vicinity as complete, because i wasn’t with you. i couldn’t hear your voice, or laugh about things with you and being away for all this time…what i do know is that i’m not letting you get rid of whatever we have. i can’t. i won’t.”

hemsworth takes a breath. “i love you, chris. you…complete me.”

evans has unshed tears in his eyes, visibly shaken by what hemsworth has just put on the line.

“you had me at ‘aloe.’”

there’s a long pause, the sound that can be heard is the storm raging outside.

“get it? aloe? ‘cause you own a flower shop?

“shut up.”

still laughing, evans steps toward hemsworth, reaching out to cup his cheek in his hand.

looking up into his eyes, lips drawing closer to hemsworth’s.

“i love you too”, he says before kissing him breathlessly.

the end.

the chrisis (2019) - directed by taika waititi

[loki1aufeyson]

I’m re-reading PJO & I haven’t read the series in years (so this might be explained somewhere in the series already) but I just started TLT & riptide is a cheap bic pen right ????

like one with a removable cap ??? and the way to get the sword to turn into a pen again is to put the pen cap to the tip of the sword,,, so what happens if he loses the cap???? does the cap also return to his pocket, is the cap just always in his pocket while in sword mode ?? or does he have to make sure not to lose it ???? if he loses it does he just have to carry it in sword form forever? or can he replace it with any old bic pen cap

[loki1aufeyson]

Harry didn’t become a Cop ™️ after the war. He opened up a small coffee shop in Diagon Alley and named it after his two dads (Starbucks was already copyrighted)

[loki1aufeyson]

idk if this has been said before but my friend and I were talking about the avengers being skrulls theory and he said something like “what if Bruce is a skrull and when he tried killing himself he actually succeeded so Fury let a skrull take his identity” and honestly wow what if

[loki1aufeyson]

are there any hp fics out there where harry is raised by sirius and he totally goes to hogwarts as an honorary Black and like everyone is expecting a photocopy of james in look and attitude but holy shit he’s a little sirius

[potionsmasters]

Harry learning to knit. So there's a period of Sev wearing misshapen scarfs, sweaters with one sleeve ridiculously too long, and using knitted cauldron cozies in his classes. He'll admit away from Harry how silly it is, but as soon as Harry is around he immediately is brimming with compliments and bragging about his 'personal weaver'. Harry is all smiles as he gives the Potion Master a new pair of socks that are nearly to his inner thigh.

this is so cute i’m cr yin g

[halfblood-lecter-blog]

#i’m sorry to ruin it but sad version??#snape is wearing one of harry’s scarves#and someone comments how it’s ‘as ugly as his face’#and harry hexes them but later cries for like an hour#sev tries his best to comfort him but he admits it hurt him too

hi FUCK YOU

[potionsmasters]

I’M SORRY

[red-shadow-wolf-19]

“What are you wearing?” Minerva asked, her eyes wide with amusement as she looked up at Severus from her breakfast.

The Potion Master pushed up his left sleeve so he could properly pick up his fork. The overly large turtle neck was pulled down, causing the man to prop his chin on the fabric and restricting him from looking down. “Harry has taken up knitting while he waits for the shop to get set up.”

“I suppose it’s a good first attempt.”

“This is his sixteenth.”

“Ah.”

“I know it’s not very good, but it makes him happy and gets his mind off the shop and looking for a surro-”

Severus stopped talking as Harry nervously came up to the staff table, his eyes lowered as he took his place next to his husband.

“There’s still no letter from the agency.”

“I’m sure there will be tomorrow. I was just talking about my personal weaver, showing off my new sweater.”

Harry looked up at him, his eyes wide. “Do you really like it?”

“I only wear clothes I like. I’m sure Minerva would like a scarf. And I know you have been making a few cauldron cozies.”

“Cauldron what?” Minerva whispered, but she couldn’t help but smile as the young couple shared a small kiss, somewhat made harder with the rolls of fabric under Severus’s chin.

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

How is it that there are over 7000 harrymort and tomarry fanfics between ao3 and ffn but these damn harrymort and tomarry fic rec blogs only rec fanfics by the same 10 writers? Can you give me an actual detailed list of harrymort and tomarry fanfics instead of shoving the same 5 year old stuff down my windpipe?

Most of us just aren’t good enough apparently.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You can find my Harrymort/Tomarry fics {AO3} and {FFN}. I’m too lazy to separate each one. But I have more on FFN than on AO3.

Harry Potter and the Shadowed Light by itshannieee

I Welcome the Unwelcome by XxXxDarkVampirexXxX {AO3} {FFN}

His Twenty-Eighth Life by Lomonaaeren {AO3} {FFN}

Devil Take the Hindmost by TaleCaster (fem-Harry)

The Flaw In the Plan by Little.Miss.Xanda

The Explosion by AmyTheAuthor {AO3} {FFN}

Golden Cage by Isys Luna Skeeter {AO3} {FFN}

Viridan Kings by LoveThyFrenemies

Out of the Shadows by NekoMama34

The Divine Right of Kings series by darklordtomarry (das_omen) {FFN}

The Dark Lord Inside by Melodramaticx

The Call of a Vampire by TosMichiyo {AO3} {Adult-FFN}

Denial Ain’t Just A River, Harry! by BlueRam

Dance With the Devil by Driverpicksthemooseic {Ratkinzluver33)

In The Heart of the Sea by KaedeRavensdale {AO3} {FFN}

Exhibit A by WereBunny87 {AO3} {FFN}

Red by cherrybaby

A Sky Far Away by SeaDreaming {AO3} {FFN}

The Dark Lord’s Equal by Riddle_Me_Harry {AO3} {FFN}

Reaching Through Time by Ethril {AO3} {FFN}

Whispers in the Dark by NeuroWriter14

There you go! ^-^

I understand the frustration over never seeing anything but the same fics on the rec lists. And some people, who claim to not read certain types of fics to begin with, dare to tell writers to write better. Sorry if you don’t like it, but if you aren’t going to even read it because there’s a tag you don’t agree with, you cannot determine if the writer is good or not.

[artemxmendacium-blog]

Scenes I need...

Peter Parker: -on meeting Loki, offers his hand- Hi, I’m Peter!

Loki: -shakes his hand- Loki of Asgard.

Peter: Aren’t you like…a bad guy?

Loki: It varies from moment to moment.

Peter: So like…on a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst evil imaginable, like…killing puppies, and one being I’ll spit on your hotdog…where are you right now?

Loki: …maybe a three?

Peter: Cool. Lemme know if it gets above a six.

Loki: -thinking- I like him.

[runnerfivestillalive]

It had been a joke, a flippant line, but somehow, Loki found himself taking the youth up on it.

It was hard living around these heroic Avengers, hard trying to stay close to Thor. And when he felt his need for mischief rise too high, when he felt exasperation with these Midgardians turn too close to spite, he would casually say “Six.” to the young man, or sometimes “Seven.”

And Peter would spend the rest of his day with Loki. He would badger him with questions about magic, or drag him across his beloved city to see its entertainments, or take him along stopping petty crimes. He grounded Loki to the here and now, and distracted him from the churning, jagged shards of ice in his mind.

[hindi-si-ikay-deactivated202501]

WE NEED LOKI AND PETER FICS

[strawbebbynya]

[lyricfrost13]

Stark’s brat had a system. It had been amusing, at first glance, especially when “killing puppies” was apparently a higher level of evil than trying to take over the world. It had risen and fallen - two, five, one. There were honestly good days.

It took some time before a truly bad day came up.

After a difficult battle, the Captain was being particularly sanctimonious, his team following suit. Even Stark made biting comments.

Loki could scream.

“Spider-man,” he said as calmly as he could. The young man glanced up, having been tying up some of their enemies a few yards away.

“Seven.”

“… okay, guys, I’m going to head out with Loki for the rest of the day. Don’t need us for debrief, yeah?”

“Sure,” Stark shrugged, glancing between the two of them oddly. Loki wasn’t entirely sure what the plan was. They went in civilian clothes to a small café.

“I wasn’t paying attention, so whatever was said, I don’t agree,” Peter began. “But that’s not what I’m here for. So. When you teleport, how does that work? Is it harder with longer distances? Or is knowledge of the place more helpful?” Loki blinked, but explained. It led to a discussion of magical theory. Peter (Loki still called him Parker aloud, but the child and even his young friends grew on him in time) was eager and curious, comparing what he knew from Strange and fantasy books to Loki’s knowledge. It was admittedly fascinating to see how many versions of sorcery humans had created by mere imagination. He was definitely amused by the elves and dwarves of Lord of the Rings.

Sometimes Peter tentatively asked about Strange and Maximoff, if they were doing similar things. Never if Loki was at an 8 or above though.

“Strange is like a child prodigy. He’s good, picks the practical parts up well. He even got the jump on me - but he has not had as much time to study as me. He’s a student where I am a master. Maximoff is incredibly powerful and incredibly lucky, but she does not have much training at all.” Sometimes conversation turned to music, animals, current events.

Peter was good. It was odd, how Loki became so sure of the fact so quickly.

After the conversations, often accompanied with food or a walk, he was always down to a 3 or so. Which made Peter an important person.

So the next time Peter was in trouble and the Avengers were indisposed, Loki was not the least bit surprised that he was not the only one ready to tear someone apart for the kid. Two men in red - one with horns, one with guns and swords - a young girl with cat-shaped blasters on her hands, and the Captain’s assassin friend. Loki curled his lips and muttered:

“For anyone that harms you? 10.”

[shetanshadowwolf]

IT GOT MORE SINCE THE LAST TIME I SAW IT AND IM IN LOVE

also, the fact we get Daredevil, Deadpool, Shuri, and James teaming up with Loki to protect Peter? I AM HERE FOR ALL THIS HELLS YES

[tygermama]

(I thought I didn’t have anything to add but I do)

It was just after noon on a Saturday when Loki got a text from Peter, all it said was 

‘8, I’m at home′

Peter had never used their number system for himself before.

Loki had promised the boy’s aunt he would not teleport into their home and while he’d had every intention of honouring that promise, this was definitely an exception.

When Loki materialized in Peter’s room, his friend was pacing, angry and red-faced. Loki had never seen Peter furious before.

Peter began shouting when he saw Loki, ‘Men are scum! Irredeemable, horrible, crappy, scummy scum!’

‘Thank you for telling me, Peter.’ Loki said, sitting down on Peter’s bed. ‘Any particular men inspiring this diatribe?’

Peter grabbed a pillow off his bed and screamed into it, ‘There’s a guy at Aunt May’s work who’s harassing her and she says I need to stay out of it and let Human Resources do their jobs and he’s a creep and he’s making May feel creeped out and… I don’t know what to do.’

Loki blinked. Of all the people Peter could have gone to, he had chose Loki.

‘Thank you, for telling me this. Although I’m not sure how I can be of help.’

Peter flopped down onto the bed next to Loki, ‘You’re my friend and you’re an adult. And I wasn’t sure who else to talk to.’

Loki flopped back next to Peter, it seemed appropriate. ‘If Human Resources doesn’t sort this out to your satisfaction, I can turn this person into a goat.’

Peter giggled, ‘An ugly, stupid goat?’

‘Any kind of goat you like,’ Loki replied.

[loki1aufeyson]

and my girls ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[loki1aufeyson]

and these boys

[loki1aufeyson]

my boys are looking so pretty I cri

[fairlyathletic-quails]

“jenna’s only with tyler for his money smh”

it’s not like jenna started dating him before twenty one pilots released vessel, which was their first well-known album, or before tyler became remotely famous or successful financially. 

(source)

“jenna needs to stop showing off her ring gosh we get it, you own tyler”

i guess i forgot the part where jenna forced tyler to propose to her.

“jenna is so selfish with tyler like back off he was josh’s friend first”

“jenna needs to share her husband with us too”

not really, no. but she does anyways. 

“jenna’s evil and i wish tyler would just divorce her already, she doesn’t deserve him”

right, okay. 

[mothertimestwo]

Tbh Jenna is the most wonderful person that has ever walked on earth, she is just so kind, such a nice person, patient, etc… and yet there is people who still attack her??? Like, why??? How??? Like she is an actual God-sent angel????

[brianttran-deactivated20120224]

Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.

[ovod0se]

I love my mom.

I am risking nothing

I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY

Will not risk.

sorry followers :(

[whatgracelikes-deactivated20190]

omg im so glad to se so many people love their mummy

[ameriagrae]

Why’re you being mean to my mum?

[larryismyhallelujah-blog]

goddamn it

[lollie-pond-deactivated20150728]

Nope. Googled it. 15 minuets. Nope. Not taking any chances

[steampoweredplayer]

Koop

[twirliest]

This has 1.2 million reblogs … Ps not riskin it

[nathanvj]

1.4 almost ps not risking it

[queenprotein-deactivated2016012]

Fuck this post

[irosefromthedead-deactivated201]

I am sorry…

[honeyviahye]

sorry

[hel1]

sorry,not sorry

[diamndsandsilk]

I love my momza  im not taking any chances

[focused-mind]

sorry

[414lilj-deactivated20170902]

Why does this keep appearing on my damn dashboard!!!

[nonsensical-human]

I ignored it and then I felt very, very guilty about it…

[haiku-robot]

i ignored it and then i felt very very guilty about it…

^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!