i log into Tumblr. i reblog a funny little post. i block 274532452 porn bots. i leave.

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shark vs the universe
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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

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@luckysevens7
i log into Tumblr. i reblog a funny little post. i block 274532452 porn bots. i leave.
"we live in an uncaring universe"
false. i care very deeply. am i not a part of this infinite universe?
"We live in an uncaring universe" factoid is actually a statistical error. Most conscious beings in the universe care a lot. Capitalism Georg who runs on suffering and eats the hopes and dreams of the entire earth is actually an outlier and should not have been counted.
TIL In an epilogue at the end of the original 1931 Dracula film, Dracula breaks the fourth wall and taunts the audience, saying vampires are real and to be afraid. In a 1936 re-release, this was censored by the Hays Code, out of fear it would encourage belief in the occult.
via reddit.com
think about how many people have died because they took out the warning
This is hilarious because the biggest edit Stoker’s editor made him do was to cut out a preface that said “this was all real and the Harkers are wonderful people and my friends :)” The editor felt he risked inducing mass panic.
#DRACULA SERIES FRAMED AS BEING JONATHAN AND MINA TELLING THEIR GOOD FRIEND THE STORY OF HOW THEY GOT MARRIED OVER DRINKS #contrive not to say his name the whole time #and then in the very last episode have the doorman or whatever stick his head in and go #‘mr. stoker your carriage is here’ (@words-writ-in-starlight)
Tumblrites, the hour has come for us to practice one of our most sacred rituals.
Likes to charge, reblogs to cast.
what is THE worst thing you've ever drank. all liquids acceptable. please tell me what it was, bonus points for why
Hey whoa hi. Hello. I am looking directly into your ear canal. What do you mean you drank a tube of virus concentrate.
So, I was working in a lab, right? My job in the lab was preparing a pure, concentrated enough sample of virus. This is tricky since, y'know, viruses require hosts to replicate, but you then need to get the host cells (and the pieces of the host cells that died!) out of the sample while still keeping the viruses. Once I'd finished and the samples had been sent to the database for analysis as well as a second one sent to be frozen for future reference, there was still some left over that needed to be disposed of.
I, knowing that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, waited carefully for the lab director to be deep in conversation with someone else on the other side of the laboratory. And then I took my chance.
Test tubes, as it turns out, are really bad as shot glasses. Their shape turns any liquid inside into a stream, so you really can't knock it back quickly - it takes a couple seconds. Additionally, the best way I can describe the taste of virus concentrate was "sterile rot". A very unique kind of bad! Made worse by the test tube's inefficiency as a shot glass.
(by the way we were studying bacteriophages, not animal viruses. these viruses are too specialized on attacking prokaryotes to even recognize our cells as targets at all, according to studies.)
(but also like. if the viruses managed to successfully switch hosts and killed me with a violent infection, itd still be worth it.)
(for science.)
You have a fitting blog title
this post is getting 50k easy
This WOULD be how humanity would go out though tbh
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roach
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the-universe-at-large
roach:
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YES YOU DID
high-saffron
the more you reblog this the more it breaks
the-universe-at-large
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO
dangergays
literally what is happening @staff you dun goofd
i tried to reblog this and the stupid app just crashed
If you’re seeing this, I managed to reblog this post.
on survival
-// @aridante // @orivu // @buzzkillgirls // ? // ? // richard siken// @cemeterything // moomin, tove jansson// @disenchanted-killjoy // isn't that enough, shawn mendes// @ prettytheyswag on twitter// @ coletyumuch on twitter// ? // ? // bird by bird, anne lamott// undertale// @strawberrycircuits
you cannot kill yourself unless you have exhausted the following options
go on hrt
leave your family's house
get a leather jacket
spike your clothing
make a fursona
drink horchata
go to a punk rock venue
rp with your friends
go to a national park for a day
If you've already done all these and you need more options may I recommend:
change your name
get a tattoo
put art on your walls
use a fancy soap you love the smell of
build a terrarium and put some pillbugs in it
visit a petting zoo
community theater
SSRIs
smoked paprika
mushrooms
Start a collection. Things I collect or plan to collect are:
Gemstones
Pokemon cards (been collecting since 1998)
Andrea Gibson books (I have every single one)
Garth Brooks on cassette
Polaroid cameras (I only have one so far, but it's in the works)
Cool notebooks
Any Totodile merch I can possibly find
the role of the person in the passenger seat is not only navigator but secretary as well. you have to type up the drivers messages to random ladies on facebook about cbd cream & google whether that billy joel song was the theme song for that show or not
you also have to provide a henchmans disdainful scowl at whoever the driver is flipping off in the target parking lot
other assorted roles may include
retrieval team for objects in the backseat
custodian of the parking garage tickets
"All clear my way"
en-route dining concierge
announcing "Horses!" when there are horses
Don't forget the Tommy Gun
You should never forget the Tommy Gun
i promise: however big you think this wave will be, it is bigger
That wasn’t a joke. I aimed my estimate high and then added some.
The wave was bigger.
I like to imagine that, thousands of years ago, humans still stood a (reasonably) safe distance from the ocean during weather like this to watch the waves, hooting and cheering when the spray came closer than expected and left them drenched
Whenever I take a long car ride I end up exhausted afterwards, and I’m always like “why am I so tired? I was just sitting around doing nothing all day.”
But the answer, it turns out, is I was doing something. Riding in a car jars your body in many directions and requires constant microadjustments of your muscles just to stay in place and hold your normal posture. Because you’re inside the car, inside the situation, it’s easy not to notice all the extra work you’re doing just to maintain the status quo.
There’s all sorts of type of work that we think of as “free” that require spending energy: concentrating, making decisions, managing anxiety, maintaining hypervigilance in an unfriendly environment, dealing with stereotype threat, processing a lot of sensory input, repairing skin cells damaged sun exposure, trying to stay warm in a cold room.
The next time you think you’re tired from “nothing”, consider instead that you’re probably in situation where you’re doing a lot of unnoticed extra work just to stay in place.
opening my body’s task manager to see what’s taking up all my cpu
Also, just to add: we should not lose sight of the fact that the mammalian brain is a ridiculously energy-hungry organ. A human brain makes up 2% of the body’s weight and volume and 20% of its caloric requirement. Thinking is physical work.
Competitive chess players carb-load before tournaments. And lose weight in the process.
It took me an embarrassing amount of time to realize that thinking physically takes up energy. I would be like “why don’t i have energy I’ve been sitting inside studying all day” ma'am it’s because the phrasings, evidences and vocabularies in your brain are eating the energy
If I’ve been really focused on crafting or something, there will invariably come a point where my brain is just like “Warning! Warning! Out of Energy!”.
Getting a snack usually fixes it.
I get post-exertional malaise from just… Going places. I sit in a wheelchair, I take one bus and spend some time in a different building… And when I get home, I’m sick.
This post helped a little cause I always feel bad about it.
leaving the house is abso-effing-lutely EXHAUSTING and it’s okay to BE exhausted after having to do stuff
It's kinda funny when you get a bunch of likes but no reblogs like I enjoyed your post but I'd prefer if no one else saw it
spiritual successor to my email post
ok this too
people online will just say "I don't trust the Chinese" as if that's normal and not the sort of thing a cartoon racist would say out loud
The computer used to do something very basic & helpful and now it doesn't. I'm gonna complain
The computer used to do something very basic & helpful and now it doesn't. I'm gonna complain.
Stranger Things season 1: beneath the superficial image of “peace and prosperity” in 1980s small-town America, there was the painful legacy of countless atrocities committed by the American government in the name of ‘freedom.’
Stranger Things season 4: evil Russians (not Soviets) have sent our All-American Hero to the gulags which apparently still exist in the 1980s and it’s up to us to save him 🇺🇸🦅🫡
There’s probably a term that already exists for this but if there isn’t I’m gonna call it ‘Rambofication’ in honor of its probably most well known instance: Rambo First Blood was about a soldier, John Rambo (that’s his actual name I’m not doing a bit), returning home from the Vietnam war, so traumatized by war that he brought the war home with him to a small town, unable to adapt to life without strict military discipline and hierarchy. Subsequent Rambo movies were about how John Rambo was the only supersoldier tough enough and patriotic enough to kill faceless hordes of dastardly foreign commies.
Ergo, ‘Rambofication’ is the process of a series starting with a relatively nuanced or subversive narrative before its sequels become a shallow embrace of the very narrative it originally subverted. It happens surprisingly often!
take me to art museums and make out with me
But they said to not touch the masterpieces
Well somebody’s gotta pin the artwork to the wall
This is Johnson, those idiots are fucking in the east wing again.
I’VE ONLY EVER SEEN THIS LEGENDARY POST IN SCREENSHOTS