wallacepolsom
NASA
No title available
dirt enthusiast
shark vs the universe
ojovivo
Discoholic đȘ©
Sade Olutola
Mike Driver
styofa doing anything
Misplaced Lens Cap
Keni
Monterey Bay Aquarium
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Not today Justin
No title available
todays bird
izzy's playlists!
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Stranger Things
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from Lithuania
seen from United States
seen from Canada
seen from Germany
seen from Singapore
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Canada
seen from Malaysia
seen from Mexico
seen from United States
@miradori
The PR after the Meghan and Harry interview has been pretty desperate and transparent but I am LOSING it over this headline, what a gift
The reactions. I canât stop laughing.
Lost it at the rockâs tweet
Iâm not sure which is funnier. Stanley Tucci saying that Ryan Reynolds is a sexier bald man than Prince William when he has a full head of hair, or Stanley Tucci saying that TILDA SWINTON is a sexier bald man than Prince William.
Heâs correct
PSA: please do not take out a personal loan even if your favorite podcast family says you should
i don't listen to mcelroy podcasts these days so i didn't know about this before now, but i am... rather alarmed they are advertising for Upstart, a predatory loan company, targeted at their young, parasocial-leaning fanbase during a global pandemic that has taken a huge financial toll on people.
this thread on reddit goes into more detail about why this is so bad (with links to many more sources).
i repeat. do not take out a personal loan no matter what your fave podcaster says about it.
It can be difficult to understand just how routine-oriented cats can be if youâve never owned one. If my oven timer goes off and Iâm slow responding to it, my cats will run and fetch me and lead me right to it, because the beepy thing means the human is supposed to go into the kitchen, and are they the only ones around here who give a damn about the Rules?
One night my partner decided to stay up and play video games whilst I got an early night, and the cat responded to this by running from the bedroom to the living room yelling, because only ONE human had gone to bed and so IS IT BEDTIME OR NOT HUMANS, MAKE UP YOUR MINDS, THIS IS NO WAY TO RUN A HOUSEHOLD.
Can confirm. My cats not only know exactly when Iâm supposed to get up for work in the morning, but they also know when Iâm supposed to STOP working. The fact that these times correlate to snackies and supper is not a coincidence.
And one of them is Quite Proficient at people-herding. After a certain time of day, all the humans must be in the sleeping chamber and if one of us is not, he becomes Perturbed.
You canât just post this and not link the soap.
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLql9FhhOdRbMT9qcOEIePBd7GKwoG4-tk
By âthis guyâ they mean Randall Park who has since had guest spots in a bunch of sitcoms, starred in Fresh Off the Boat and was in Ant Man and the Wasp.
OK BUT THIS IS HILARIOUS I watched the whole thing and they donât film seven episodes and then get caught they get caught like every episode and they just switch ikeas and itâs so funny every time they get caught they just roll with it Iâm laughing so hard
andrew came downstairs from the office to give me a hug and seemed really worried about me and it turned out that i had reblogged a picture of a jellyfish with the tag âsometimes i wish i could be thisâ and while i had meant âbeautiful, ethereal, and full of lightâ he had interpreted it as meaning âbrainless and totally free of the burden of consciousnessâ
this was the jellyfish
hades game
âtraditional valuesâ should mean likeâŠteaching kids which local forest mushrooms are edible, not that the lady next door is going to hell for having a cool girlfriend
I deserve to live in a world where âtraditional valuesâ means teaching kids to imitate birdsongs not bigotry
âMy vampiric mistress saved me from a life of poverty and destitution, but she made me wait to be turned until I was old enough to take up a trade or go to university. That way I might be taken seriously by the humans which surrounded us, and would have the pick of careers to pursue.
âUnfortunately, in the six hundred years since, cultural mores have shifted, and now appearing to be fourteen means they wonât even hire me for a weekend shift at the Burger House.â
âAnd thatâs why Iâm submitting this audition tape to the Disney Channel. Tired of your serial programming having a short shelf-life when your stars inevitably age out of their roles? I wonât age. Believe me, Iâve tried. This baby face is forever. I can play a winsome middle schooler for decades, and I can do it convincingly. Do you know how many times Iâve gone through fucking seventh graââ The video cuts off and resumes with the speaker looking noticeably more composed. âAre you sick of working with child actors? Looking for a performer whose maturity level matches yours and whose cultural references youâll understand? Iâm happy to discuss popcorn stitch knitting and World War II submarines with any of your cast and crew. I could do my own taxes if anybody would hire me for a job that generated taxable income. I mean it, Iâm a licensed CPA. They have night classes down at the learning annex, and itâs just something to do, you know? But Iâve been going for a few years in a row and the professors are getting nervous and one of them asked me whether I had a goddamn glandular condition and she was so nice about it that I couldnât justââ The video cuts off and resumes with the speaker looking noticeably less composed, holding the camera with both hands and leaning in close so the speakerâs face fills the frame. âListen. Listen. I need this job. I am perfect for this job. I will pay you if you hire me, okay? Iâm good for it. You know how much money six hundred years of compound interest will get you? Give me this fucking job or Iâll make it my lifeâs mission to buy Waltâs company and raze it to the groundââ
The tape cuts to a black screen with white block text reading THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST. I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU.
So I read this aloud to my roommate and we started riffing on it and-
Me: Okay but imagine THIS as a Disney Channel show.
Him: What, like, a vampire child actor?
Me: YES imagine it as a DISNEY CHANNEL MOCKUMENTARY. ABOUT FILMING A DISNEY CHANNEL SHOW.
Him: Where the lead is a vampire-
Me: ITâS SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE FOR KIDS
Directed by Taika Waititi
Follow me on Twitter for more vampire nonsense
all the drawings together :â)
đ«tos - 60s inspired
âĄïžtng - 80s inspired
âšds9 + voy - 90s inspired
đent - early 2000s inspired
For only 17.99 you can shit the fucking bed!!!!
new idea for a dnd potion
people who complain about dinosaurs ânot being scary anymoreâ because its been discovered they have feathers and are closely related to/ancestors of birds are so bizarre like
its not about how scary they are, they are/were real life animals and what matters is learning more about them, not how well they fit into your science fiction horror film lol
can you imagine a 13 foot chicken running at you with full intent to eat you??? thats fucking terrifying holy shit
peacocks are synonymous with vain, frivolous beauty and they will attack cars. they will attack you while you try to get to your car. theyâre like six feet of useless feathers and they will destroy you. imagine if they were carnivorous and had functional spurs.Â
a t-rex could look like a gay disco ball and i guarantee that you would fucking book it if it had a problem with you
listen
listen
have you ever met a swan
if anything the birdier they get the scarier they are
Australia literally fought a war against giant birds AND FUCKING LOST
@kidwithheadphones
Overheard in the student lounge:
âOh man, I canât deal with birds âcause theyâre dinosaurs and sometimes itâs like they get this glint in their eyes and they remember.â
âHave you ever interacted with a goose? âCause those things are dicks.â
If chickens were still the size of a T-Rex weâd all be dead. No question.
Feathered creatures that give some serious lie to the idea that feathered dinosaurs ainât scary:
This is a bearded vulture, or lammergeier. Itâs four feet long and has a nine foot wingspan and it eats bones.
This is a shoebill stork. It dropped the duck without biting down shortly after the picture was taken, but if it had decided not to-
⊠it could have been the end of the road for that duck.
This is the last thing a fish sees before a macaroni penguin eats it.
This is a secretary bird in the act of demonstrating to Lord Voldemort that he came to the wrong neighborhood, ese.
This is a goose.
This is a vulture.
This is a cassowary on the attack.Â
Be glad I couldnât find the actual gif of a pelican swallowing a fish, because itâs freakinâ Lovecraftian in its HEADS SHOULD NOT BEND THAT WAY factor. Youâll have to settle for the idea of a feathered dinosaur suddenly going GLORP and devouring its victims whole just like this lady here.
Steven Spielberg didnât create these. These are the feet of an emu.
And this is what happens when a swan (this one is named Asboy; his father was Mr. Asbo, the first swan in the UK to get named after an anti-social behavior order in âhonorâ of his tendency to attack boaters) decides it doesnât like you. I should probably note that this one attacked a cow.
Respect the feathered dinosaur, yo.
Terrifying. The last two illustrate why you did not fuck around with the Children of Lir.
I suspected that a dinosaur could have been feathered after I heard that a T-Rex is the chickensâ ancestor.
For those who think dinos arenât cool because theyâre featheredâŠwhatever, mutherfuckers.  Evolution doesnât give two shits what you think is cool or not.
You showed a cassowary on the attack, but forgot to show what exactly itâs attacking with. Their feet are nearly identical to the Emuâs, except for one minor, teeny tiny detail: A five-inch claw for killing motherfuckers, raptor-style.
This is like the âfuck birds master postâ and I love it because Honestly, Fuck. Birds.
Do you know how many people are scared of chickens? After I started owning chickens, I found out: itâs a LOT. Itâs a LOT of people. I joined chicken Facebook groups for when I get roosters or hens dumped that I need to re-home, and found out: itâs even MORE. And itâs a fucking chicken. Weâve domesticated them to the point that most of them want to be our friends when weâre nice to them. We are at the top of their food chain. The worst damage a chicken can do is like, scratch you, or peck you, before you grab it with the hands you evolved for doing things like grabbing chickens. Even the roosters, who can have considerable spurs, almost certainly arenât going to kill you, not unless they were to, like, get a freakishly accurate and lucky hit to you carotid or something. And yet. There remains a huge portion of people who are afraid of chickens. There are so many people who will run if a rooster comes at them.
The velociraptor was about 2 feet tall. Thatâs about the size of a turkey. Do you know how many people are scared of turkeys? Do you know how many people will run away from a turkey coming at them? Almost everyone. Itâs about the size of a goose; and even more people will run from a goose. And none of them have proper bone anchored teeth, or sickle claws, or grasping hands. Theyâre not predators, they eat grass and bugs and maybe small rodents or fish if they catch them but itâs not a staple. And yet. So many people are terrified of them. The feathers donât seem to be a problem for their fear.
So anyone who says that they would look at a 10-14 TON dinosaur with sharp teeth and decide âthatâs not scary because it has feathersâ is lying to you. Because the people who know better than to be scared of a turkey, know enough to fear a Trex or velociraptor.
Cassowaries kill humans every year. I forget what their kill count is but keeping them is dangerous.
Also with that shoehorn bill stork- look closely at the picture of that duck, because Iâm pretty sure it stabbed that duck with the lower bill and it only wouldâve dropped it to eat it again.
Herons will stab baby alligators and eat them whole. Birds are fucking dinosaurs and are terrifying
Bartender: thanks for stopping that bar fight, spiderman. Can I get you a drink? Itâs on the house
Peter: thank you, but I canât
Bartender: why not
Peter:
Bartender:
Peter, trying not to give his age away: Iâm pregnant
Bartender, shook: oh, congratulations, boy or girl?
Peter, now in full-on panic mode: itâs an uh, spider
Iâm seeing stuff in the notes about âMiles would do thisâ and I just want to say: youâre absolutely right. All Spider-folks across all universes share one (1) singular brain cell and most of the time itâs Gwenâs.
As the current author of Spider-Gwen, I can attest that Gwen has not seen the brain cell in years.
I FOUND IT
I finally lay my eyes upon this glorious post myself
Do not punish the behaviour you want to see
I mean, it seems pretty obvious when you put it like that, right?
But how many families, when an introvert sibling or child makes an effort to socialize, snarkily say, âSo, youâve decided to join usâ?
Or when someone does something theyâve had trouble doing, say, âWhy canât you do that all the time?â (Happened to me, too often.)
Or any sentence containing the word âfinallyâ.Â
If someone makes a step, a small step, in a direction you want to encourage, encourage it. Donât complain about how itâs not enough. Donât bring up previous stuff. Encourage it.
Because I swear to fucking god there is nothing more soul-killing, more motivation-crushing, than struggling to succeed and finding out that success and failure are both punished.
Read this:
âI want to tell a story about an invisible elephant.
Once upon a time, when I was in graduate school at UCSB, the department of religious studies held a symposium on diasporic religious communities in the United States. Our working definition for religious diaspora that day was, âreligious groups from elsewhere now residing as large, cohesive communities in the US.â It was a round table symposium, so any current scholar at the UC who wanted to speak could have a seat at the table. A hunch based on hundreds of years of solid evidence compelled me to show up, in my Badass Academic Indigenous Warrior Auntie finery.
There were around 15-20 scholars at the table, and the audience was maybe fifty people. There was one Black scholar at the table, and two Latinx scholars, one of whom was one of my dissertation advisors. The other was a visiting scholar from Florida, who spoke about the diasporic SanterĂa community in Miami. But everyone else at the table were white scholars, all progressively liberal in their politics, many of whom were my friends. Since there was no pre-written agenda, I listened until everyone else had presented. I learned a tremendous amount about the Jewish diaspora in the US, and about the Yoruba/Orisha/Voudou, Tibetan Buddhist, Muslim, and Hindu communities, and even about a small enclave of Zoroastrians.
As they went on, I realized my hunch had been correct, and I listened to them ignore the elephant, invisible and silent, at that table.
So I decided to help her speak the hell up. âHello, my name is Julie Cordero. Iâm working on my PhD in Ethnobotany, Native American Religious Traditions, and history of global medical traditions. Iâd like to talk about the European Catholic and Protestant Christian religious diaspora in the United States, as these are the traditions that have had by far the greatest impact on both the converted and non-converted indigenous inhabitants of this land.â
Total silence. And then several âhot damnsâ from students and colleagues in the audience. I looked around the table at all the confused white faces. My Latinx advisor slapped his hand on the table and said, âRight!!?? Letâs talk about that, colleagues.â
The Black scholar, who was sitting next to me, started softly laughing. As I went on, detailing the myriad denominations of this European Christian Diaspora, including the Catholic diocese in which Iâd been raised and educated, and the brutal and genocidal Catholic and Protestant boarding schools that had horribly traumatized generations of First Nations children, and especially as I touched on how Christians had twisted the message of Christ to try and force people stolen from Africa to accept that their biblically-ordained role was to serve the White Race, her laughs grew more and more bitter.
The Religious Studies department chair, whoâd given a brilliant talk on the interplay between Jewish and Muslim communities in Michigan, stopped me at one point, and said, âJulie, I see the point you are so eloquently making, but youâre discussing American religions, not religious diasporic communities.â I referred to the definition of diaspora we had discussed at the start of the discussion, and then said, âNo, Clark. If I were here to discuss religions that were not from elsewhere, Iâd be discussing the Choctaw Green Corn ceremony, the Karuk Brush Dance, the Big Head ceremonial complex in Northern California, the Lakota Sun Dance, or the Chumash and Tongva Chingichnich ritual complex.â
It got a bit heated for a few moments, as several scholars-without-a-damn-clue tried to argue that we were here to discuss CURRENT religious traditions, not ancient.
Well. Iâll let you use your imagination as to the response from the POC present, which was vigorously backed by the three young First Nations students who were present in the audience (all of whom practice their CURRENT ceremonial traditions). It got the kind of ugly that only happens with people whose self-perception is that they, as liberal scholars of world cultures with lots of POC friends and colleagues, couldnât possibly be racist.
Our Black colleague stood and left without a word. I very nearly did. But I stayed because of my Auntie role to the Native students in the audience.
I looked around at that circle of hostile faces, and waited for one single white scholar to see how unbelievably racist was this discursive erasure of entire peoples - including my people, on whose homeland UCSB is situated.
Finally, a friend spoke up. âIf we are going to adhere to the definition of diaspora outlined here, she is technically correct.â
And then my dear friend, a white scholar of Buddhism: âIn Buddhist tradition, the Second Form of Ignorance is the superimposition of that which is false over that which is true. In this case, all of us white scholars are assuming that every people but white Americans are âother,â and that we have no culture, when the underlying fact is that our culture is so dominant that weâve deluded ourselves into thinking itâs the neutral state of human culture against which all others are foreign. Even the Black people our ancestors abducted and enslaved we treat as somehow more foreign than ourselves. And, most absurdly, the peoples who are indigenous to this land are told that we belong here more than they do.â
People stared at their hands and doodled. The audience was dead quiet.
And you know what happened then? The elephant was no longer invisible, and my colleagues and I were able to have a conversation based on the truths about colonialism and diaspora. We were THEN able to name and discuss the distinctions between colonial settlements and immigrant settlements, and how colonial religious projects have sought to overtake, control, and own land, people, and resources, while immigrant and especially refugee diasporic communities simply seek a home free from persecution.
As we continue this national discussion, it is absolutely key to never, ever let that elephant be invisible or silent. You are on Native Land. Black descendants of human beings abducted from their African homelands are not immigrants. European cultures are just human cultures, among many. And the assignation of moral, cultural, racial superiority of European world views over all non-Euro human cultures is a profound delusion, one that continues to threaten and exterminate all people who oppose it, and even nature itself.
I hope that this story has comforted the afflicted and afflicted the comfortable.â
-Â Julie Cordero-Lamb, herbalist & ethnobotanist from the Coastal Band of the Chumash Nation
IN THIS HOUSE WE WILL WORSHIP AND HONOR THE IDOL THAT IS LUCKY THE PIZZA DOG
