[“When you learn how to listen to your body’s whispers, it no longer needs to scream. Your body begins to trust you. Trauma-bond survivors who trust themselves are a powerful force to be reckoned with. They have seen tragedy and betrayal, and not only did they conquer it, but they found a way to tame the darkness so that it is on their side. They are aligning with what their body is saying yes to and tuning in to what their body is saying no to by listening to the messages underneath.
Once you begin to listen to your body and trust that you can provide a service for it when it needs you, you will also begin to align with self-trust and self-confidence. You are uncovering ways to first offer your body the stillness it requires by internally navigating yourself to a window of clarity and openness. From there, you can practice techniques that strengthen your resiliency to face relationship conflicts and manage stressors with calmness, confidence, and intentionality. You are becoming aware that you have a body, and that body is experiencing thoughts, emotions, and sensations. Remember, you are not your thoughts, nor your emotions, nor the sensations in your body they are connected to. They are experiences you are having, not representations of who you are.
It will take time for your body to internally maneuver its way to this space when past trauma-bond patterns beg to unleash old toxic reactions. But you can do this. I promise. One step at a time. I want you to know that you are something more than the experiences in your body and the actions they once compelled you to do. You are the awareness of those experiences. You are the infinite consciousness that can see these experiences as just moments in time with a beginning and an end that you can influence in ways that are healthier for and helpful to your greater good. When you are ready, the next intentional step toward self-trust and healing will involve becoming aware of your beingness, a state of presence and existence as is without reference or relationship to anything else. Developing conscious awareness in the way you’re about to learn will help you recognize that what is happening within you and what is happening around you are reflections of each other.”]
laura copley, from loving you is hurting me: a new approach to healing trauma bonds and creating authentic connection, 2023
