Smug face of a free man
hello vonnie
Monterey Bay Aquarium
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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Today's Document
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ellievsbear
Three Goblin Art
almost home
Not today Justin
KIROKAZE
Sweet Seals For You, Always
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occasionally subtle

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Product Placement
Claire Keane
Sade Olutola
Misplaced Lens Cap
we're not kids anymore.

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@owned-by-tiny-velociraptors
Smug face of a free man
they hate each other.
hey bestie you forgot the poll
oh sorry
would you kill and eat these animals?
yes
no
I was talking to prev, asshole. The fucking critter-creature-beast poll blog? That person? Don't be a fucking dickhead.
sorry for being silly on my post it wont happen again
would you kill and eat @barin-mclegg?
yes
no
when i was a kid i had moments of being so fucking diabolical because i realized at some point the best way to leverage power over my family was to do shit that would make everybody late
our house was in the middle of nowhere surrounded by woods so when i decided i didnt want to wear dresses anymore if we were going to some event & my parents insisted i had to wear a dress i would just go hide in the woods. was so committed i almost made us miss a flight once bc my mom packed a dress in my suitcase
i only promised to stop doing this if my parents got me formal boys clothes to wear which eventually they did. i don't feel bad about resorting to violence bc i asked politely and they said no. proud of 10 yr old me for evil annoying lesbian behavior
5th grade was the last time I wore a dress for school pictures. When my parents attempted to force the issue for 6th grade, I climbed onto our roof and pulled the ladder up after me. My dad borrowed the neighbors ladder. As soon as it touched the roof I pulled it up too. By the time I had 3 ladders they were willing to negotiate, and 2 hours late for work.
[Image ID: a tumblr tag reading "problems that can be avoided if you simply treat your child as a human being with the right to make decisions on what they wear". End ID]
i’m losing my mind
STOP REBLOGGING THIS my phone is glitching an astronomical amount and I immediately knew the culprit was one of my tumblr posts gaining traction
oh
GROOVE WITH ME BABY
Ya gotta have
✨⭐️ SOUL ⭐️✨
DONT STOP ME NOW!
eepy mourning dove cupping its wings under its belly for cushion ©Ella
eepy mourning dove cupping its wings under its belly for cushion ©Ella
Where's that tweet about how American chants are "let's go [team name] and some other country (Irish?) fans are "I've made up a song about the other team's drinking problem to the tune of London Bridge Is Falling Down one two three"?
I honestly believe that sometimes the birds can't tell a difference 🤣
My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian
its like ive never seen herbivore
i sighed so loud my mom asked me if i was okay and she’s two rooms away
I think it's so funny how we bred JOBS into dogs. I have two shih tzus and they were bred to be lap dogs. All they care about is looking cute and cuddling with people. Meanwhile my grandma has a border collie and that dog needs to feel so useful all the time, he acts like he will pass away if he doesn't have a job to do constantly
On one hand this is extremely fucking funny, but on the other hand, it really boggles my mind how many people punish their dogs for just… doing the thing they were bred to do.
Your husky isn’t “hyperactive”, it’s bred to pull sleds for 8 hours straight and you have it in a 400 sq ft yard.
Your English sheepdog isn’t “pushy”, it’s bred to herd sheep, and you have neither to space nor the herd to allow it.
Your terrier isn’t “nippy”, it’s bred to kill rats and your hamster looks a hell of a lot like one.
Your Catahoula isn’t “mean to animals”, it’s bred to hunt any and all animals smaller than it, and you didn’t acclimate it to your cat.
Your Lhasa Apso isn’t “yappy”, it’s bred to bark at any tiny noise and alert watchmen to intruders
Like Jesus Christ, if you can’t provide an environment where your dog can’t fulfill its literal life purpose, maybe?? Don’t get that dog??? And if you do, maybe know the breed characteristics so you can redirect those traits into more constructive outlets????
Both your most common doodle's parts (labra and golden) want to hunt and retrieve water birds so the best suggestion I can give y'all is congratulations on your new duck hunting hobby.
#people will overlook the perfect breeds to suit their needs based on just their looks#and get a work dog because it looks cool
tags from @gnarlystarships because YEAH
@gallusrostromegalus
Any time someone sees Herschel and says "AWWW I want a Corgi <3" (because he is Very Cute (TM)), I immediately reply: "Do not get a Corgi unless you have a job for it to do. They were bred to bully livestock across the hills of Wales. This is basically a Border Collie that knows he is cute enough to get away with murder. If you get one and it doesn't have a job, it will apply its livestock-bullying instincts to YOU. Herschel's job specifically is to help manage my crippling ADHD, because I don't have a bull for him to micromanage." This gets me odd looks at the home depot but it does get the point across.
She gets neurotic if she doesn't do her agility.
you may think misogyny is good because it is made up of miso, which is delicious, and gyny, which is woman. and girl miso sounds great. but 👆 it is not girl miso
"Miso" is Greek for "hatred". "Gyny" is Greek for "woman" Misogyny literally means "hatred of women".
The word "misogyny" is always associated with the unnecessary hatred and abuse of women. No one ever thinks about this word in a positive light.
will you ever forgive me
jesus christ did i fucking kill them im sorry
you may think homicide is good because it is made up of homo, which is gay, and cider, which is delicious. And gay cider sounds great. but 👆 it is not gay cider
Reblog if you would date a robot. I'm not a robot I'm just asking for a friend. I have skin.
is it your own skin though? As in you grew it, on your own body, from birth?
This skin was grown yes. On a human body. That is mine. I’m not a robot
Ok ok I’ll believe you… If you first tell me what this says:
I don’t need to prove myself to you how dare you, I love breathing oxygen
Oxygen is good. What are your thoughts on motor oil?
“No weapon forged by human hands can harm m- OW, did you just hit me with a stick??”
Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941), poem 85 from “The Gardener”, 1914 Translated by the author from the original Bengali. New York: The Macmillan Company.
It is an hundred years hence now. Go open your doors.
could u imagine if ppl talked about catholicism the same way they talked about like… indigenous ppl’s religions….
girl in horror movie holding a bible open: “according to legend, a mob tortured a half-man, half-god, and nailed him to a wooden cross, leaving him to starve to death. But days later, on this very night, they found he had clawed his way out of the grave. Now those who believe lie in wait for him to rise again, To honour him, they have weekly gatherings where they chant and sing, and at the end of it they eat his flesh and blood.”
girl’s friend: “wow.. thats so creepy…”
horror movie jock: “it’s only a myth, don’t worry”
I love the fact that this is insinuating that jesus is going to try to kill these kids
“They say, when you die, he’ll take your soul to live with him for all eternity…”
(Ominous door slamming, distant organ music plays “For I am the lord of the dance said he”)