My Holes Can Take Me Anywhere

He/him, bi. CEO of the Bi Peter Parker Agenda. Magik’s strongest soldier. Scott Summers is Just Like Me FR.

[luna-azzurra]

A writer's relationship with their own work goes: this is genius, this is garbage, this is genius, this is garbage, i should never have been born, okay actually this line is good

[jastard]

Top 4 krusielle all time past & future

[mercurio-shadowz]

HAPP PRIDE

Yeets More transfem shadow at u

feat. a slight redesign ;D

[big8cola]

great trope

[p1tufina]

Who else but THEEE dynamic duo

[soviet-union-deactivated19911226]

u ever see someone with extremely fucked up views (or actions) and think wowww if a couple of things in my life went the tiniest bit differently that would have been me

[max1461]

I think most people would benefit from reflecting on how this might be true for them

[vacuously-true]

Sometimes people bitch about media, both fiction and nonfiction, that they think "humanizes" bad people, especially bigots fascists Nazis et cetera. And I'm just like. Hey. Hey. The problem is. They ARE human. HUMANS did that. Your next door neighbor could do that. Your grandma could do that. You could do that.

"No I'm a good person" why? Because you've gotten lucky and not seen propaganda yet that perfectly hit your buttons? Because you had people to correct you when you fucked up? Idk man I don't think we're all so different from the bad people. We're all just people.

Reminding ourselves of our shared humanity with terrible people does NOT serve to justify their actions. It serves to remind us that the seeds of what happened to them could get into us as well, or might already have. It reminds us to be vigilant and interrogate the hatred inside us.

If you convince yourself that you're just an Inherently Good Person who would never believe hateful things well. Now any little hateful thing that makes its way inside you undetected is never going to be interrogated. It will be left to grow undisturbed.

If you remember that those things can get into anyone, you know to look out for them, and weed them out when they appear, and take the criticism when others point them out in you. So remember, that could have been you. If you forget, maybe it will be.

[hikingdragon]

“It was because he wanted there to be conspirators. It was much better to imagine men in some smoky room somewhere, made mad and cynical by privilege and power, plotting over the brandy. You had to cling to this sort of image, because if you didn't then you might have to face the fact that bad things happened because ordinary people, the kind who brushed the dog and told their children bedtime stories, were capable of then going out and doing horrible things to other ordinary people. It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was Us, then what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.”

Terry Pratchett, Jingo (Discworld, #21; City Watch, #4)

[hollowboobtheory]

imagine hiring an assassin and they talk to you in a customer service voice

[teaboot]

"Hello, how can I help you today? Wonderful, can I get a first and last name? And how would I spell that? Awesome. And would you happen to have an address for this individual? And place of work? Fantastic.

Now, I'm going to give you a number, and I'm going to ask that you send in a photo of your target alongside any additional information you may have- family members, security, combat training, medical conditions, just anything you can think of that might be helpful.

Wonderful, you are all good. All we need now is a piece of government-issued ID, for insurance purposes, and a location for payment pickup. We accept cash, gold, processed uranium, and etransfer.

I'm sorry, we don't take american express.

Good, okay, so it looks like we are all set- when the job is complete, you will be notified VIA discreet codeword that a stranger will whisper to you on a crowded street.

We do not issue receipts, but if you'd like, I can arrange for a specific breed of tropical flower to be sent to your home address. Our associates will be able to validate it should the need arises.

And is that everything you were looking for today? Great! Thank you for coming to us. Have a nice day!"

[teaboot]

Alternatively,

"I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid the Pope is a high-status target that is beyond our area of service.

Yes, I- no, I'm sorry, I'm not able to do that for you.

Okay. Okay. Yes, I understand.

Sir, if you're going to use that sort of language, you should know that our HR department does operate in a hands-on capacity.

Wonderful. You take care."

[nebulousboundsfloof]

They create a perfectly normal call cemter staffed by decidedly amoral college students and paying them at least 4x minimum wage.

[hollowboobtheory]

hiring manager: you’re not concerned about the ah, services we offer? 

a college student who has eaten ramen twice a day for the past year: for $25/hour i’ll pull the trigger myself

[talvin-muircastle]

Look, the difference between Assassins and Customer Service is that Assassins are paid a lot of money to kill people and Customer Service isn’t being paid nearly enough not to.

[fakeharmless]

[soymsan-entro]

So my sister is on vacation and has sent me a photo of the store she was buying clothes in.

I'm going to lose it.

[voidsentprinces]

[tobiasdrake]

Can you imagine being Gandalf? Getting shit from other wizards because you have a thing for hobbits and you're just like, okay. Okay, maybe I'll temper my fascination with hobbits.

This Ring quest will have two hobbits. Maximum.

Then they all get to Rivendell and have somehow multiplied into four hobbits. And it's like. Okay. Maybe the others are right.

Maybe this is too many hobbits.

We have as many hobbits as we have not-hobbits.

But damn it, you just don't want to get rid of any of these hobbits. Screw it! Everyone can deal. Four hobbits. This is a four hobbits problem.

So away you go.

And things go bad in the worst possible way.

Over and over.

You've lost your hobbits. You've lost yourself. The fellowship has been separated.

It takes everything in your power to help the humans defend themselves, bringing them together to save Rohan. Finally, as things begin to look upright, you're ready to face the war with everything the Rohirrim have left.

You're ready to face him. This may be the hardest battle you've ever fought. But you ride.

Then you get there and two of your fucking hobbits are sitting there like "Yeah, while you were gone, we raised a tree army and beat Saruman's ass. Wanna help us loot his tower?"

....

There were not, in fact, too many hobbits.

This was a four hobbits problem.

[picturesofspideyman]

Thinking about all the Darkseid yuri memes and it put this image in my head and I’m not sorry about it

[margindoodles2407]

ouagh lord of the rings really did say “it might be hopeless, it might be fatal, there may be no coming back— but it is always, always better to do something, to fight for what is good and true and beautiful, than to sit back and give into despair with an ‘it would have happened anyhow’”

[miggsboson]

DEMON: A Togore Comic

aka togore makes a friend ;)

did you find all my sneaky secrets? did you find the hidden daniel???

°•Xx_CLICK HERE for more TOGORE COMICS_xX•°

<<FIRST <PREV NEXT>

[dateamonster]

my dealer: got some straight gas this strain is called 1000xResist youll be zonked out of your gourd

me: yeah whatever i dont feel shit

5 minutes later: dude we need to abolish the family structure

my buddy watcher pacing: the allmother is lying to us

[thepageofhopes]

Please play 1000xRESIST

[frontmansdefender]

Source

[picturesofspideyman]

So how’s everyone liking Absolute DC

[picturesofspideyman]

Well this has aged interestingly.

[foone]

The three types of kink are

* you have power

* you're safe

* feet

[foone]

this is a shitpost but I think it's not THAT wrong. Most kink is either one of (or a combination of):

You get to play at having power over someone else. This is your dominance sorts of things, your sadisms, etc.

You get to play safely. You can play with scary things while knowing there's safewords and a dom/top who loves you.

Feet. By which I mean, there's some normal part of the human experience that your brain has for some reason fixated on. Maybe you're into red hair, or glasses, or fluffy tails.

[foone]

"safety" can also present as "useful". You have some intrinsic value that cannot be taken from you (because of some sex/kink thing). The safety is from abandonment, because you're useful, despite everything. And "useful" is a bunch of kinks (none of which I'm comfortable mentioning here).

[sleepydogdisease]

oh no, animal ears are feet

[foone]

yeah. cat ears are feet!

[mere-technicality]

can someone turn this into the calvin's dad dialogue

[foone]

oh god, this is so obviously calvin's dad dialogue that now I'm worried that I plagiarized it without realizing it

[madigail]

the two types of tumblr post are calvin's dad and rule 34. all posts fall into one of these two categories. despite being kink-related, this post is actually calvin's dad.

[riseofthecommonwoodpile]

calvin’s dad: Apollonian

rule 34: Dionysian

tumblr reinventing Nietzsche as always

[ltamerica]

Today's mad revelation: There is a shocking amount of overlap between Kris/Susie and Frodo/Sam.

Kris/Frodo: The smaller, waif-ish one. Moody, puppydog, carries a terrible burden that has a mind of its own and can influence their behavior. Said burden is either a heart or heart-like. They're both the ostensible protagonist of the entire story.

Susie/Sam: The big, rough-and-tumble one, bit of a temper (at least, Sam has one with Gollum). The everyperson. Humble to the point of self-deprecation. Ridiculously loyal to their bestie. Their love interest is a nice, blonde girl next door, but that hasn't stopped a lot of people from shipping them with their bestie (warrior's bond). Seemingly just the sidekick, but it becomes increasingly clear that if anyone is the Hero here, it's them, even if they can't see it.

You can take almost all of Sam's most iconic lines, attach them to Susie, and they fit like a glove. Susie WOULD fireman-carry Kris to the mouth of hell, fuelled only by raw spite for the world.