Potato in Space

a potato but not a simple one ... a FREE potato

[galvanizedfriend]

[leatherleaves]

I recently started working in hospitality, and I’ll tell you guys right now, the trope of “there was only one bed” is not as rare as you’d think in real life. A few times a week, at least, I have guys come in who are working together on projects in town or passing through who have to literally book the last room I have available for the night and lo and behold — there is only one bed, and guess what, they give each other a side-eyed look and begrudgingly take it. So write it up, it happens all the time!!!

[karis-the-fangirl]

[blatant-phishing-attempt-bot-de]

Never let your There Was Only One Bed dreams die. I was secretly in love with my best friend for over a year when she graduated and moved to Oklahoma (like 1000 miles away) for grad school. Between that travel restrictions, we were so scared we’d never see eachother again.

At the end of summer, when Covid numbers were at a lower point, I took the risk to visit her in her new apartment and I quickly realized that, unlike when I’d spent the night at her house before, the couch wasn’t made up like a bed. She explained that since her new couch was so fancy and pink, I couldn’t possibly sleep on it, and so I needed to sleep in the bed with her. You know, out of necessity. I woke up with her snuggled around me in the middle of the night.

We’re dating now, and I genuinely think I’m going to marry her. Just the other day, though, I mentioned that if she hadn’t been weird about her fancy couch, I probably never would have like confessed my feelings. AND THEN she stood up, took the cushions off the fancy couch, UNFOLDED IT INTO A HIDE-A-BED, and said “I KNOW.”

THIS GIRL. ORCHESTRATED. BED SCARCITY. JUST SO SHE COULD MAKE THE “ONLY ONE BED” EXCUSE. Y’all when I said I just about lost my goddamn mind, I just about lost my goddamn mind. I love this sneaky bitch so much and the moral of this story is BE THE ONE BED YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD.

[leet911]

Fanfic imitates life, and life imitates fanfic. It’s full circle really.

[blue00phoenix]

oh my god 

there was only one bed

but it was STAGED

[thedragonemperess]

I love this so much

[potterchild]

New Fanfic Trope Unlocked!!!!!

AU:There was only one bed - by design👀

[boldlyanxious]

Fake dating or only one bed?

Fake only one bed

[scottishaccentsareawesome]

THE TROPE HAS LEVELED UP

[signoraviolettavalery]

“orchestrated bed scarcity” is my new favorite phrase

[an-atlas-or-other]

Soccer players are the horses of sports. They run around in fields for hours on end. They stub their toe and they die. They fall and they die. They run into each other and

[qhockeysacrament]

This would make hockey players the cats of sports. Random zoomies, chasing the little dot, knocking things over, and not admitting sickness or injury until nearly dead.

[scifigrl47]

Put more hockey players in air jail. Putting them in the naughty box isn't enough. Air jail. Watch them hiss and claw the air.

[hylianane]

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

[maseratus]

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

[mousidy]

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

[mousidy]

[bisthefairy]

Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...

[maightymai]

[cipheramnesia]

It's like talking to a 2010 Old Spice commercial with you people

[roguedeer]

Being asexual and racist is embarassing as fuck. Being racist at all is obviously embarassing as fuck but the amount of racism and especially antiblackness i have been seeing from asexuals recently is obscene.

One of the only asexual activists is Yasmin Benoit, a Black woman. She has raised so much awareness for the community. She was the first asexual person to lead Pride in London, she started the #thisiswhatasexuallookslike movement and is THE leading voice for the community.

And you all will celebrate international asexuality day on April 6th but we wouldn't even have that if she hadn't cofounded it.

Edit: why are you all too scared to repost this. Cmon. Be vocal about being against racism

[probablyreal]

brushbug banging out the tunes

[ID: A looping gif of the brushbuddy from Witch Hat Atelier patting its paws repeatedly, edited to have a PNG of a toy xylophone (the same one from the "Neil banging out the tunes" photo) beside it so it looks like the brushbuddy is playing it. End ID]

[the-irreverend]

And stay safe everyone!

[lowpawly]

u gotta be careful reblogging posts cuz what if you see it drowned in water later

[chrissyjoshys]

[rainyydoves]

[agriocnemis]

[rainyydoves]

[butchifiedcatfish]

Oh wow! what a beaut! Time to reel her in!

[lowpawly]

What Are You Doinf To My Poast

[voidartisan]

I think the Jedi council should have at least considered sending obi-wan over to Dooku to be like “yes hello I am here for sith training” just to see what would happen

[voidartisan]

Like, we know from the rako hardeen arc that he’s a good enough actor to pull this off. Combined with Dooku’s clear affection(?) for him, I think the council would have most of the separatists’ top military secrets in a month, max

[voidartisan]

I mean, even if Obi-Wan got caught transmitting information

Dooku:…what are you doing

Obi-Wan, panicking slightly: I’m a double agent. Passing them bad intel.

Dooku: I didn’t ask you to do that

Obi-Wan: …i’m taking initiative????

Dooku:

Dooku: We’ll it’s about time SOMEONE around here did

[voidartisan]

Palpatine: There have been far too many “coincidences” with the Jedi lately. The information your new apprentice is transmitting is accurate, I’m sure of it.

Dooku: My boy would never do such a thing

Palpatine: Your b— you know, the whole “no attachments” is a Jedi thing but I think we need to have a talk

[terapsina]

Let's just add another layer to this cuz I bet that LIKE the Raako Hardeen incident no one tells Anakin anything.

So we also have an unhinged (but in the OTHER direction) Anakin chasing Obi-Wan across the galaxy going: 'Come back to the light side, Master, you're my brother!'

So now Palpatine's dealing with the unexpected headache of his planned future apprentice being too busy trying to de-sithify the not-actually-a-sith!Obi-Wan to get sithified himself.

[wolverina2002]

Anakin suddenly throwing himself hard into being the perfect Jedi to guide his master back to the light is hilarious

[leapingbadger]

For the love of God, someone please write this!!!

[thoodleoo]

there’s a lot of evidence that the iliad and the odyssey were actually composed by a variety of poets through an oral tradition rather than just by one poet, so what if the homeric texts are actually just a very long game of D&D

[ovary-harvester]

Homer: Ok so Poseidon you are returning from Ethiopia when you see Odysseus on a raft

Athena: Ah shit

Poseidon: I hit him with a giant wave

Homer: Um ok, roll to hit

Poseidon: 18

Homer: Roll damage

Poseidon: *rolls* wait adding modifiers, yeah that’s twenty damage

Odysseus: THATS MOST OF MY HEALTH WTF

Homer: Uh, ok um, a woman comes out of the ocean and gives you an anti-drowning scarf

Odysseus: I swim towards the island

Homer: You can barely see the island and you are in the middle of a storm

Odysseus: I swim towards the island

Homer: Okay, roll dexterity then constitution with disadvantage

Odysseus: *rolls* ok dexterity I got a 16

Odysseus: *rolls* hell yeah 17 and 18

Homer: ok fine you spend two fucking day swimming without fainting because apparently that’s how things work now

[tetitasdelimon]

top 5 horror movies

-having a job

-not having a job

-applying for jobs

-the job market

-the concept of working my whole life

[tesb]

The Force will be with you, always. HAPPY STAR WARS DAY!

[mapsontheweb]

Frodo and Sam’s journey if it took place in the United States

[a-book-of-creatures]

Average trip to Florida

[whetstonefires]

we must take the ring to jacksonville

[the-davest-of-uncles]

Beware of Florida Man.

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

One does not simply cross the Mason-Dixon line.

[santaclausdeadindian]

They are taking the hobbits to Tallahassee!

[hjbender]

“One does not simply walk into Florida. Its orange gates are clogged by more than just tourists. There is heat there that does not sleep. And the great Mouse is ever watchful. Tis a fetid jungle riddled with fentanyl and mosquitoes and conservatives. The very air you breathe is a necrotic fume. Not with ten thousand transmen could you do this. It is folly.”

[parkchanwoohoo]

Realizing that I am not employing enough of my free will to become a nuisance at work

[raine-of-auroria]

Me watching this:

[coffee-khaleesi-deactivated2020]

When I was training to be a battered women’s advocate, my supervisor said something that really blew my mind:

“You can always assume one thing about your clients; and that is that they are doing their best. Always assume everyone is doing their best. And if they’re having a day where their best just isn’t that great, or their best doesn’t look like your best, you have to be okay with that.”

Any now whenever anyone in my life, either a friend or a client, frustrates me, disappoints me, or pisses me off, I just tell myself They are doing their best. Their best isn’t that great today, but I have days where my best isn’t that great either. 

[bogfox]

Op I’d like to thank you for sharing this. Ever since the first time I’ve read it I’ve held it in my mind and it really has helped me to be kinder to others and to myself.

[stealingpotatoes]

happy neil banging out the tunes day to everyone who celebrates

[millenniallust4death]

I’m paying to force seven thousand strangers to see a photo of my late husband having fun with his dog. Tumblr Blaze is totally worth it. XD

[briannyssey]

im such a fan of how Andor painted revolution as a movement of a million shitty, desperate, deserving-better people throwing their bodies on the gears, the machinery, and the levers of power. One way out and it might not even be your way out. Maybe there was never a way out for you. But you helped carve the way for everyone behind you, and isn't that worth everything?