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trying on a metaphor
Mike Driver

if i look back, i am lost

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Andulka
hello vonnie
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ç„æ„ / Permanent Vacation

shark vs the universe
taylor price
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

JVL
todays bird

Janaina Medeiros
h
Monterey Bay Aquarium

JBB: An Artblog!
sheepfilms
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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@powermadrose
a list of 100+ buildings to put in your fantasy town
academy
adventurer's guild
alchemist
apiary
apothecary
aquarium
armory
art gallery
bakery
bank
barber
barracks
bathhouse
blacksmith
boathouse
book store
bookbinder
botanical garden
brothel
butcher
carpenter
cartographer
casino
castle
cobbler
coffee shop
council chamber
court house
crypt for the noble family
Objectification, Degredation, Ownership and Praise - A Guide
Objectification -> You are a hole to fuck
Degradation -> Your holes are worthless and filthy
Ownership -> Your holes belong to me
Praise -> Your holes feel so good
Objectification and praise -> You are such a good fuck toy
Objectification and Degradation -> You are a worthless fuck hole
Objectification and ownership -> You are my personal fuck toy
Degradation and ownership -> You are mine to destroy. I will ruin you.
Degradation and praise -> You are such a pretty little cum slut
Ownership and praise -> You are my favorite- I love owning you
Objectification, Degradation and Praise -> You are the best little cum hole
Objectification, Degradation, praise and Ownership -> You are my favorite cum filled hole to fuck.
Reblog with your favorite combination or add your own!
The Most Comprehensive NSFW Ask Around
Iâve seen a lot of these floating around, but none of them seem to get check every box. Iâve attempted to create my own Ask list and try to include as many things as I could think of. Simply pick a category and a number to ask that question. For example, message âmasturbation 3 and 5.â On that note, enjoy 500 NSFW asks.
About You
What is the size of your penis/breasts?
Does your penis have a curve?
Are you circumsized?
Have you ever had an STD?
Have you ever been pregnant/gotten someone pregnant?
What type of underwear are you wearing?
What is your favorite type of underwear?
When was your last erection/arousal?
Have you ever had an erection which someone noticed?
Has anyone seen your private parts other than yourself?
Explain your ultimate fantasy.
What are your turn-ons?
What are your turn-offs?
What is the strangest thing youâve ever been turned on by?
Have you sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr (Anonymously or Not)?
Have you sent a nude photo or video to someone?
Did it include sexual acts?
Have you ever posted a picture of image of you in the nude on a website?
Did it include sexual acts?
Have you ever anonymously sent/posted a picture or video of yourself in the nude?
Did it include sexual acts?
If someone you knew asked for a nude image, would you do it? What about a tumblr follower?
What was your latest sex dream about?
Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about someone?
Was it about anyone other than your lover?
What was the last fantasy about?
Have you ever fantasized about someone older/younger than you? How much older/younger?
Have you ever told any of these people that you fantasize about them?
Do you have a favorite person or few people to fantasize about?
How often do you fantasize about other people?
Have you ever showered with someone?
Have you ever confessed you were aroused by someone?
Are you open about your sex-life and sexuality?
Do you orgasm easily?
Have you ever played â7 minutes in heavenâ? Explain the experience.
Have you ever played âspin the bottleâ? Explain the experience.
Have you ever played âTruth or dareâ? Explain the experience.
Have you ever played strip poker/strip beer pong/etc?
Do you shave your pubic hair?
Have you ever had your pubic hair shaved?
Do you prefer clean shaven or unkept?
What is your favorite type of underwear for the opposite sex?
Do you own any lingerie?
How much lingerie do you own?
Whats your favorite lingerie outfit?
Do you like the way your genitals look?
Are you comfortable naked?
Masturbation
Do you masturbate?
How old were you when you first masturbated?
How often do you masturbate?
When is the last time you masturbated?
Do you masturbate to any stimulus?
What do you think about?
What is the last thing you thought of or masturbated to?
Have you walked in on or caught someone masturbating?
Have someone ever walked in on or caught you masturbating?
Have you ever had cyber sex?
Have you ever had phone sex?
Have you ever had a wet dream?
What is your method of masturbation? (i.e. Hands/Toys/Lotion/etc.)
Are you loud or quiet when you masturbate?
Has anyone ever watched you masturbate live online?
Has anyone ever watched you masturbate in person?
Have you ever masturbated with someone? (Mutual masturbation)
Have you ever watched someone masturbate live online?
Have you ever watched someone masturbate in person?
Have you ever masturbated to someone?
Who do you like to think about when you masturbate?
Have you ever told them you think about them while you masturbate?
Whats your most embarrassing masturbation story?
Whats your funniest masturbation story?
Have you ever used something unique or strange to masturbate?
Is it easy for you to orgasm or do you have to work for it?
Whats the easiest way for you to get off?
Is there only one way you can get off? (i.e. Vaginal/Clitoral/Toy Use)
Does anyone know you masturbate? How did they find out?
Have you masturbated because your partner wasnât around to help? Where were they?
Have you ever masturbated to a fictional character?
Are you able to achieve orgasm through only non-conventional or indirect methods? (Breast Play/Hands-Free/Anal)
What is the strangest object youâve used to masturbate vaginally or anally?
Do you ever double penetrate while you masturbate?
Do you ever suck on a dildo while you masturbate?
Do you edge when you masturbate? (Get to the point of orgasm and stop repeatedly to enhance the experience)
What position do you typically masturbate in?
Describe a typical masturbation session.
How often do you usually last?
Whats the quickest youâve ever been brought to orgasm?
Whatâs the longest masturbation session youâve had?
Whatâs the most amount of times youâve cum in a day?
Relationships
Are you straight/bi/gay/etc?
How many relationships have you been in?
What has been your longest relationship?
How old were you when you had your first relationship?
Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?
Have you ever used an online dating site?
What do you look for in a partner?
What do you look for in a hookup?
Have you ever had a one-night-stand?
Have you ever been a booty call?
Have you ever had a booty call?
Who was it?
Have you ever had a friend-with-benefits?
Who was it?
Have you ever cheated on a partner? Explain.
Have you ever been cheated on? Explain.
Would you ever be in an open relationship? Have you?
Porn & Sex Industry
Do you watch porn?
How often do you watch porn?
What is your favorite category?
When is the last time you watched porn and what was it?
How do you feel about hentai (Anime Porn)?
How do you feel about gang-bang porn?
How do you feel about cumshot porn?
How do you feel about lesbian porn?
How do you feel about amateur porn?
How do you feel about cuckold/cuckqueen/swinging porn?
How do you feel about threesome porn?
How do you feel about teen porn?
How do you feel about Japanese/Asian porn?
How do you feel about mature porn?
How do you feel about ebony porn?
How do you feel about bondage porn?
How do you feel about masturbation/solo porn?
How do you feel about rough/violent/humiliating porn?
How do you feel about BBW porn?
How do you feel about orgy/party porn?
How do you feel about trans/shemale porn?
How do you feel about POV porn?
How do you feel about blowjob porn?
How do you feel about bukkake?
How do you feel about extreme porn?
Have you ever tried to recreate a scene?
Have you ever used porn to show a partner what you like/want?
Has a partner ever used porn to show you what they like/want?
Who is your favorite pornstar(s)?
Have you considered getting into porn?
Have you considered being a webcam performer?
Have you watched cam girls?
Do you have a favorite cam girl?
Have you ever watched porn with a partner? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever watched a cam-show with a partner? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever performed in a cam-show with a partner? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever been to a strip club?
Do you frequent strip clubs?
Do you have a favorite strip club?
Do you have a favorite stripper/dancer?
Do you get lap dances or just watch the performances?
Whats your best strip club experience?
Most embarrassing strip club experience?
Funniest strip club experience?
Have you ever orgasmed from a lap dance? Describe the experience(s).
Sex
Are you a virgin?
How old were you when you lost your virginity?
If you havenât, when would you like to?
Explain your first time in detail.
How many sexual partners have you had?
Who was your best sex partner?
Did you tell someone after you lost your virginity? Who?
Do you give oral sex?
Have you received oral sex?
Do you prefer to give or receive oral sex?
Have you had anal sex? How was your first experience?
Do you have any friends you would hookup with?
Have you wanted to have sex with someone, but couldnât? Why couldnât you?
Do you like dirty talking?
Do you like being called names?
Do you like being called obscene names? (Bitch/Slut/Whore/Sissy/etc)
Are you loud or quiet in bed?
Whats your favorite position?
Have you ever invented a position?
Whats the strangest position youâve tried?
Have you ever been caught or walked in on while fucking?
When is the last time you had sex? Describe the experience(s).
When is the last time you received oral? Describe the experience(s).
When is the last time you gave oral? Describe the experience(s).
When is the last time you had anal sex? Describe the experience(s).
Which celebrities would you want to have sex with?
Any fictional characters you want to hookup with?
Have you ever had shower sex? How was it?
What is your favorite position(s)?
Where is the strangest or wildest place youâve had sex/oral?
Have you ever broken up with someone because they couldnât satisfy you?
Have you used anything to improve sexual performance? (Penis Extenders/Tingling Lube/Cock Rings)
Whats your most embarrassing sexual experience?
Whats your funniest sex experience?
Have you ever had any performance issues? What were they?
Are you on birth control?
Do you use condoms?
Have you ever faked an orgasm? Describe the experience(s).
Can other people get you off?
Is there only one way you can cum? (i.e. Clitoral Stimulation Only/Anal Only/Toy/Specific Position)
Have you ever been rejected? Have you ever rejected someone?
Have you ever been stopped mid-sex? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had sex outdoors? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had sex in public? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had sex in front of others? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had sex in a car? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever given or received road head? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had sex/oral/manual sex in a movie theater? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had sex in a fitting room? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had sex in a plane? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had sex at work? Describe the experience(s).
Explain your best sex experience in detail.
Which non-genital parts of your body do you like being touched or stimulated?
Do you ever take pictures or videos when you have sex? Explain the experience(s).
Have you ever given a strip tease to a partner?
Have you ever given a lap dance to a partner?
Have you ever received a strip tease from a partner?
Have you ever received a lap dance from a partner?
Have you ever âtitty-fuckedâ before?
Has someone ever âtitty-fuckedâ your breasts?
Do you prefer your partner to be vocal/moan loudly?
Do you enjoy having your nipples played with?
Do you ever role-play?
What situations or themes have you role-played?
What would you like to role-play?
Do you role play with costumes?
Do prefer lingerie in the bedroom?
Do you enjoy rough sex?
What would you like to improve about your sex life?
Have you ever gone into public with hickeys? Did you know they were there?
Have you ever had a threesome? Describe the experience.
Would you like to have a threesome?
Who would you like to have a threesome with?
Would your partner be okay with a threesome?
Would you like to be with two men at the same time?
Would you like to be with to girls at the same time?
Would you like to be with more than two girls at the same time?
Would you like to be with more than two guys at the same time?
Have you ever been double penetrated? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had every hole filled or been involved with filling each hole? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever tried â69â? Explain the experience.
Do you like cum or is it gross?
Have you ever tasted cum? Do you like it?
Where is your favorite place to cum or receive cum?
Have you ever had sex while on a period/with someone on a period?
Do you listen to music while you have sex? What kind?
Have you ever used a buttplug while having sex?
Have you used any form of sex furniture? What kind?
Have you ever brought toys into the bedroom with a partner? What kind? Describe the experience(s).
Do you eat ass?
Do you like to have your ass eaten?
Have you ever anally fingered your partner?
Do you like prostate play?
Is it gay for a man to enjoy anal stimulation from a woman?
Have you ever experienced a prostate orgasm?
Have you ever double penetrated/been double penetrated with the assistance of a toy?
Have you ever experimented with the same sex? Describe the experience(s).
Do you prefer sex with a man or with a woman?
Have you ever had sex with another couple(s) monogamously? (Not touching the other couple(s))
Have you ever watched another couple have sex?
Have you ever gotten cum in your eye?
Has anyone ever cum inside you on accident? How did you feel about that?
Have you ever cum inside someone on accident? How did they respond?
Have you ever cum in your pants? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever sexted?
Do you like to play with balls/have your balls played with?
Are hand jobs boring or are they underrated?
Describe your average orgasm.
Describe your average cumshot.
Whats the quickest youâve ever been brought to orgasm?
Whats the quickest youâve ever brought someone else to orgasm?
How long are you usually able to last?
Whatâs the most times youâve had sex (or sexual contact with a partner) in a day?
Whats your longest sex session?
Toys
Have you ever bought a sex toy?
What is the last sex toy you bought?
What sex toy do you currently want?
Would you let someone buy you a sex toy?
How many toys do you own?
What kind of toys do you own?
What is your favorite toy?
Have you ever used a washer/dryer as a sex toy?
Have you ever used a shower head as a sex toy?
Have you ever used a pocket pussy or Fleshlight?
Have you ever improvised a sex toy? (Cucumber/Banana/Etc.)
What is the strangest sex toy youâve ever used?
What is the strangest improvised sex toy youâve ever used?
Do you prefer sex toys or the real thing?
Do you own any buttplugs?
Do you ever wear a buttplug in public?
Do you have any vibrating panties?
Do you ever wear vibrating panties in public?
Do you like nipple clamps?
Fetishes
What fetishes do you have?
What is your favorite fetish?
Have you indulged in all your fetishes?
What fetishes are you yet to experience?
Are there any fetishes you donât have yet, but may be interested in?
Have you experienced BDSM? Do you practice it?
Are you a top/dominant a bottom/submissive or a switch?
What is it about BDSM that you like?
Have you experienced being tied up or restrained? Describe the experience.
Have you experienced rope play? Describe the experience.
Do you enjoy long, extended teasing/edging sessions?
What is the longest youâve been teased/edged?
Do you enjoy tease and denial?
Do you like to be denied?
Do you have a panty fetish?
Have you ever purchased panties from a woman online?
Have you ever used panties to masturbate? (Stuffing/Wrapping/Etc.)
Do you have a hosiery fetish?
Do you like pain?
Do you like spanking/being spanked?
What do you prefer to use to spank? (Paddles/Hands/Whips/Etc)
Do you like to hit or be hit? How hard?
Do you enjoy choking or being choked? How hard?
Do you like to bite or be bit?
Do you like to slap or be slapped?
Do you like pulling or having your hair pulled?
What is your safe-word?
Have you ever done a cum-walk? (Walking in public with cum on your face/clothes/etc)
Would you do a cum-walk?
Are you an exhibitionist?
What was your best exhibitionism experience?
Are you a cuckold?
Are you a cuckqueen?
Are you a hotwife?
Are you a bull?
Would you like to watch your partner have sex with another person?
Would you like to have your partner watch you with another person?
Have you ever been cuckolded? Describe the experience
Explain your best cuckold experience
What is it about cuckolding that you like?
Do you like to be humiliated?
Do you like to humiliate your partner?
Do you like to be humiliated while cuckolding or do you prefer a friendly environment.
Do you like to be forced into crossdressing?
Do you like to be forced into feminization?
Do you like to be forced into sissification?
Have you ever fisted? Explain the experience.
Do you like extreme insertion? Have you ever experienced it?
Are you a swinger?
Do you soft-swap or hard-swap?
Have you ever been to a swingers club (with a partner)?
Would you ever go to a swingers club (with a partner)?
Explain your best swinging experience.
Would you ever participate in an orgy? (4 or more people)
Would you ever participate in a gang bang? (4 or more people)
Have you ever pegged/been pegged? Describe the experience.
Do you peg often?
What is it about pegging that you like?
Describe your best pegging experience.
Do you enjoy large strap on dildos or smaller?
Do you enjoy sucking or having your strap on sucked?
Do you like incest?
Have you ever experienced incest?
Do you like face-sitting/smothering?
Do you have experience in face-sitting/smothering?
Do you like weapon play?
Do you like forced cum eating?
Do you like rape play?
Have you experienced rape play?
Do you like to be dominated?
Have you ever been dominated online?
Whats the most humiliating thing youâve been forced to do?
Do you enjoy pet-play?
Do you like daddy dom/little play? Describe the experience(s).
Do you like to be worshiped?
Do you like to worship?
Do you like to be spit on or spit on your partner?
Do you like to keep the slave play in the bedroom or carry it over to real life?
Have you ever been suspended while having sex?
Do you like ball-busting/CBT (Cock and Ball Torture)?
Do you like to be told what to do?
Do you enjoy giving/receiving JOIs? (Jerk Off Instructions)
Describe your best JOI experience.
Have you ever given or received a foot job?
Would you ever swap cum with your partner?
Have you ever tried fetching? (Sucking cum from a partners anus or vagina after finishing)
Do you like watersports?
Do you like sounding?
Would you participate in a bukkake?
Do you enjoy brat play?
Have you ever participated in chastity?
What is the longest youâve been locked up or forced a partner to be locked up?
Have you ever cum while in chastity?
Have you ever experienced a full friction/lap dance?
Have you ever cum or made someone cum from a full friction lap dance/grinding?
Do you enjoy outercourse/hotdogging/pussyjobs?
Do you enjoy cumming or watching someone cum over strange objects?
What is the strangest way anyone has made you cum?
What is the strangest way youâve made anyone cum?
Do you enjoy forced cum eating?
Do you enjoy premature ejactulation?
Have you ever experienced a ruined orgasm? Describe the experience(s).
Have you ever had your prostate milked or milked a prostate?
This or That
Vaginal or Anal
Vaginal or Oral
Oral or Anal
Handjob or Oral
Handjob or Anal
Handjon or Vaginal
What feels better, masturbation or sex
Rough Sex or Intimate Sex
Car Sex or Outdoor Sex
Dominant or Submissive
Spit or Swallow
Facial or Cum on Tits
Facial or Cum in Mouth
Facial or Cum on Ass
Facial or Cum on Belly
Cum on Tits or Cum in Mouth
Cum on tits or Cum on Ass
Cum on Tits or Cum on Belly
Facial or Creampie
Facial or Anal Creampie
Vaginal Creampie or Anal Creampie
Circumcised or Uncircumcised
Boxers or Briefs
Tits or Ass
Ruined or Complete Orgasm
Vaginal or Clitoral Orgasm
Prostate Orgasm or Regular
Cuckolding or Swinging
Pegging or Grinding
Lap Dance or Strip Tease
Grinding Orgasm or Titty-Fucking Orgasm
Be Humiliated or Worshiped
Footjob or Hotdogging
Lace Panties or Cotton Panties
Latex or Leather
Silicone Dildo or Glass Dildo
Dildo or Vibrator
Hitachi or Sybian
Real Cock or Sex Toy Cock
Real Pussy or Fleshlight/Pocket Pussy
Cam Sites or Porn Sites
Strip Clubs or Porn
Dirty Talk or Loud Moaning
Faked Orgasm or Premature Ejaculation
Cum on Clothes or Cum in Hair
Lingerie or Naked
CFNM or Naked
Corset or Bustier
Thongs or Cheekies
Porn or Sex
JOI or Lap Dance
Fishnets or Nylons
Big Dick or Small Dick
9" Dick or 4.5"Dick
Length or Girth
Big Tits or Small Tits
Petite or Chunky
Muscular or Average
Beard or Shaven
Pubic Hair or None
Thigh Gap or Thick Thighs
Twerking or Slow Tease
Prostate Orgasm or Frenulum Orgasm
Anal, Clitoral or G-Spot Orgasm
Big Ass or Tight, Toned Ass
Skinny or big
Nerdy or Preppy
Cheerleader or Nurse
Firefighter or Cop
Sex on the Beach or Sex on a Plane
Sex in Public or Sex in a Car
Vibrating Panties or Butt Plug
Ball Licking or Rimming
Nipple Stimulation or Neck Stimulation
Hair Pulling or Spanking
Choking or Slapping
Big Dildo or Small Dildo
Realistic Dildo or Smooth Dildo
On Top or On Bottom
Long Hair or Short Hair
Giving Head or Receiving Head
Getting Anal or Giving Anal
Pussy and Anal Penetration or Ass and Mouth Penetration
Two Girls or Two Guys
Bukakke or Glory Hole
Reverse Gang Bang or Male Gang Bang
Doggy Style or Missionary
Cowgirl or Reverse Cowgirl Â
Cuckold or Be Cuckolded
Cum On Someone or Be Cummed On
Drunk Sex or High Sex
Slow or Fast
Veiny Dick or Curved Dick
letâs play! i love getting asks heehee
Someone said "Are you really so stupid to think that Africa has the same technological advances as us? If they did they would probably have clean water and not live in houses made of sticks and mud. Get over yourself and stop being so ignorant."..... Below is a tiny collection of images of the Africa they refuse to show you..
ches
Iâm sorry youâve been made to believe that the whole of Africa is poor, I really am..
Reblogging for those of you who think Africa is only what the media and movies portrays it to be
This fucks me up because itâs scary to think that we can be showed something all our lives and not even know itâs a lie
And that my friend is the power of propaganda, indoctrination, and media
Are these pictures of South Africa or of Africa as a whole?Â
@the-collecting-turnip From top to bottom:
1. Port Elizabeth (South Africa)
2. Unknown
3. Nairobi (Kenya)
4. Pretoria (South Africa)
5. Aburi Botanical Gardens (Ghana)
6. Cape Town (South Africa)
7. Pretoria (South Africa)
8. Harare (Zimbabwe)
9. Windhoek (Namibia)
10. Windhoek (Namibia)
To @kushandwizdom this is a rather unfair portrayal of Africa as a whole since half of these are literally just South Africa. So Instead to add to this post and better dispel the myth of Africa as the vast wasteland of poverty most people think, I found a much more mixed collection of pics from various countries.
Luanda, Angola
Agadir, Morocco
Lagos, Nigeria
Cairo, Egypt
Port Louis, Mauritius
Abidjan, Cote dâIvoire
Algiers, Algeria
Tripoli, Libya
Dar es Salaam, Tanzania
Tunis, Tunisia
So, there, a much better case demonstrating the various major cities around Africa showing it isnât some technologically backwards continent, but actually pretty up-and-coming in the world of commerce.
I once was talking to my Ethiopian manager about ignorant people asking her dumb shit about her life before she moved to the statesâŠ
the worst story she told me about was when she told a fellow student (at a fairly prestigious university) about a concert she went to back home. The other student responded with âomg you have music there!?â đ€ŠđŸââïž
Rebloging, because we need to see these pictures.Â
As for stupid questions:Â âdo you have grocery stores in Ecuador?â
These are great!
A redneck neighbor once asked my mom (in the 80s) if they had cars in Peru. Sigh.
This is the product of poor world history in school & little current affairs coverage outside Western Europe, except for catastrophes, so all we see are the war torn, poverty stricken, disaster-affected parts on the news. And racism, of course.
I bet most Americans who think that African countries are just completely poverty stricken have no idea what the US looks like in its poorest areas, not everywhere in the US is nice suburbs or unrealistically large apartments on tv
Los Angeles, California
Hartford, Connecticut
New Orleans, Louisiana
Camden, New Jersey
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
McDowell County, West Virginia
Flint, Michigan
Washington, D.C.
Do you see the world as it is, or as someone told you it is?
This photoset proves you can make anywhere look great or terrible. Itâs all framing and more people should know about that
Worth a reblog. I donât think the US version was on there when I first reblogged.
core classes as undead :)
ok but if bruce wayne somehow came upon zuko fresh out of banishment he would lose his mind.
black hair? check. bad parent(s)? check. trauma? double check.
bruce: howâd you get your scar?
zuko: my dad got mad at me for saying that killing people is wrong so he lit my face on fire and banished me.
bruce, vibrating with excitement, already pulling adoption papers from his utilility: thatâs terrible. how do you feel about capes.
Zuko: Do you mind if I wear this blue demon mask?
Bruce: *sniff, tear in his eye* Not at all.
*Zuko fighting the Joker*
J: âwan na kno w h ow i go t thes e sc ar sâ
Z: *rips off mask* i donât give a fuck
Iâm still stuck at the âbatman has adoption papers in his utility beltâ.
âQuick, itâs time to use the Bat-adoption papers!â
Bat-option papers
Okay, but youâre missing the best part of this.
Alfred and Iroh complimenting each other on tea while they discuss their overly dramatic children.
iroh: once, i told zuko that he needs to work on his inter turmoil. he screamed at me that he had no such inner turmoil, and then proceeded to go to a cliff during a thunderstorm to scream at God to strike him with lightning
alfred: master bruce and i have that interaction at least three times per week.
@absentlyabbieâ
I see your âAlfred and Iroh as tea brosâ and raise you âAlfred and Iroh as tea rivalsâ
Consider
Iroh: you too must learn patience. Boiling the water ruins the delicate flavor of the white jade
Alfred: oh Iâm dreadfully sorry - for some reason I expected this tea to have TEA in it
(later)
Alfred: *aggressively laying out full tea service with milk, lemon, sugar, and, just to drive his point in, jam*
Iroh: *dying inside*
excellent addition
hey bruce spent a lot of his bat-study abroad in the far east and has kind of a weeb weapon collection so proposal, what if Bruce appreciates Irohâs tea
while Zuko is enthusiastic about cream and sugar
further fueling their dad-figuresâ passive-aggressive rivalry?
silly doodle in itâs rightfull placethanks @minamishimada835â and @nightalp for pointing me in the right direction!
And this is what happens when a masterfully crafted katana collides with a masterfully crafted longsword.
Suck it, katana
And that is what happens when a masterfully crafted scalpel collides with a masterfully crafted guillotine.
Does nobody understand that longswords and katanas are two different kinds of tool?Longswords are essentially sharpened fucksticks designed to destroy the shit out of anything resembling armor that comes their way. They shatter bone, jelly flesh, and essentially fuck people up by sheer inexorable force of being a goddamn sharp steel bar.
Katanas donât do that.Theyâre not meant to withstand collision with armor or a brick wall or a charging fully outfitted warhorsebecause the circumstances of its development didnât call for that. Itâs a precision instrument. Itâs designed to be lightweight, outmaneuver, and find weak spots, not go barreling into people hack-n-slashing your way to victory. Itâs a specialized tool.
In a sense this reflects a core difference between cultures; katanas are a shitton of work and preparation to make the execution as efficient and streamlined as possible, while longswords are more durably and simply made in response to a climate that would require a soldier to be a one-man battering ram in battle.
You slam any blade into any other blade and one of them is at least going to get chipped, because youâre NOT SUPPOSED TO FUCKING DO THAT.
Medieval European / Japanese sword-fighting manuals didnât have âNow Clang the Swords Together and Totally Ruin Them For No Good Reason Whatsoeverâ sections. That sword-clanging crap is from movies because you want to show a 2 minute dancey sword-fight and have to do something during that time, because in real sword fights itâs either over in 25 seconds with one guy on the ground, dead, or it goes on for 4 hours as two guys in armor wear themselves out, slamming the broad sides of the sword against the armor.
Swords arenât lightsabers.
This is like proving a Volkswagen Beetle is a âcrap carâ by running it into a bridge pylon at 85 mph. Itâs a pointless demonstration, because youâre not supposed to do that.
Neither one of these weapons was invented to cut another sword in half, Both were invented to cut a GUY in half. In slightly different ways, but still.
oh my god thank you
day 19(?): boredom got way worse, trying to make myself a victorian friend
gained conciousness, not ashamed to show some tits
no more bare tits
oh shit a bow
having a moment
đ¶sleeves sleeves sleeves makin puffsleeves gonna look like french meringue doesnt even rhyme at all not even a little bitđ” shhhh shhhh go away kitty
aight folks thatâs it for today i have some booing to do at the tv about some shitty and inaccurate costumes
good morning sluts, back to work
fellas im straight up not having a good time im in the middle of a lil meltdown over how much time iâve spent sewing roses on my skirt before realizing they were anuses (or ani like cacti? đ€)
weâre gonna be so pretty
wig snatched
shit do i gotta act like a lady now?
if I play dead it might goes away
oh my im getting hotter by the minute
what a lovely creature im having a real beuty and the beast moment⊠wait no that bitch is a furry
Iâm SO flattered (and self-centered) i had to hang up your amd @a-sip-of-anxietea âs drawings I just love them â€ïž
girlâs night out(ish) đ»
Is she single asking for a friend
Noâ€ïž
@oh-no-its-a-mom-friend Victorian lesbians
This post was amazing from start to finish, spreading the good vibes to y'all
At the annual Houston RenFest weâd always get one or two furries that walk around and every time the general reaction from the medieval roleplayers is akin to âBEASTS? BEASTS THAT WALK LIKE MAN? FOUL!âÂ
Last time I went a furry volunteered for an impromptu conversion/exorcism and a guy dressed as a monk gathered a bunch of people and using a Gatorade bottle performed an entire catholic christening while reading off the instructions on his Ipad. When the furry was fully âconvertedâ he removed the head of his costume and everyone in the crowd pretended to freak out and say shit like âGlORY BE HE IS SAVEDâ âCHRIST HAS BROKEN HIS CURSEâ
Thatâs the best crap iâve heard in months
Being insecure does not make you bad at being poly.
Being insecure does not make you bad at being poly.
Being insecure does not make you bad at being poly.
And donât let anyone fucking tell you otherwise. We canât always help how we feel about ourselves and you shouldnât let anyone make you feel even worse about it.
Thanks for coming to my TEDtalk.
Abled Person: Hey man, can you hold this wad of $2,000 and this one penny for me while I open my wallet?
Disabled Person: YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER FOOL!
The United States Government:
(Watch how many people donât get this.)
#raises hand #i dont understand #please explain?Â
In order for disabled people to receive any sort of financial assistant for their housing, food, bills, medical supplies, etc., they cannot ever have more than $2,000 of resources to their name. Ever.
It doesnât matter what itâs for.
Youâre saving up for a new wheelchair?
For college?
To put a downpayment on a house?
Hell man, you just happen to budget for once in your life so that you can have some extra money in case something bad happens?
Your benefits immediately get cut off if youâre a cent over $2,000.
And, even worse, you usually end up having to pay back every dollar the government gave you that month.
So say you get $400. If they find out youâre twenty dollars over the resource limit, you have to give them all $400 back and you undergo an investigation of your funds to see if you will continue getting money.
âWhat if I spend the money that day?â
Doesnât matter. In fact, from what I can tell, people who do this are actually put under investigation for fraud.
And yes, this system literally kills people.
Remember when âGuardians of the Galaxyâ came out? one of Rocket Racoonâs creators, Bill Mantlo, suffered an accident in 1992 and has irreparable brain damage.
before the movie came out, Marvel gave him an exclusive preview screening. SOme people were upset because they felt if Marvel was really wanted to thank mantlo, they should have donated money to Mantloâs family.
Bill Mantloâs brother had to come out and explain: If Marvel gave them monetary aid, Bill Mantlo would lose his financial assistance.
Thatâs so utterly depressing.
disgusting
I have friends on welfare who wonât pick up a penny in the street because theyâd risk the welfare they struggled to get for 10 years.
oh look another fucked up thing in this world. letâs just add it to the list. number 63858b
My brother has been on California State SSI for autism for the last 10 years, and he absolutely has to (no joke, HAS TO) spend all 720 bucks of his SSI every month, because if he puts it in the bank he risks losing his SSI altogether.
Sometimes, at the end of the month, he has no idea what to do with his money because the whole month went by and he still has 400-ish bucks in his account, and he fucking panics because he doesnât want to get anywhere near 2,000.
And hereâs the funnest part of the story!
One day he did a huge commission on Second Life and wound up earning 1500 bucks off of it, and he told the guy to donate it 500 bucks at a time over 3 months. The guy didnât want to, and just donated all 1500, which put my brother at 2,036 bucks.
The state IMMEDIATELY (Iâm talking less than an hour) called him up to tell him over the phone that they were canceling his SSI, because they noticed he had gone over the 2,000 buck threshold. He had to tell them that someone had made a charitable donation to him and that this was not a common occurrence in any way shape or form, and upon not believing him, my mother had to call to talk to them as his legal caretaker and say basically the same thing until they called off the cancellation of his SSI money.
He also had to cancel his renterâs assistance because it put him to 1,062 a month, so if he went 30 days without spending any money theyâd cancel his SSI altogether. Like, none of us in the family have any fucking clue why that regulation is in place and itâs the stupidest shit in human history.
Please, legal side of Tumblr, tell me what positive reasoning this law has?
Happy 4th of July everyone! This is what the ânation of opportunityâ looks like.
Thereâs something called an ABLE account that can help. If you are on SSI and were diagnosed as disabled before the age of 26 you can apply for an ABLE account that will allow you to save up to $99,000. More people need to know about this!
thank you so much for this information. iâm applying for an abled account right now
THERES A WHAT
OH GOD BLESS THE SHIT OUTTA YOU YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW FREAKED OUT OVER THIS I WAS
Iâve been looking into SSI; I had no idea about this!
Read till the end for the important info
Reblog to literally save a disabled personâs life
Fruit Dragons by Alexandra Khitrova.
never not reblog the fruit dragons
Devious lil bebbies!!!
Things this DM prefers to skip/ignore
Time is valuable, and I prefer to use my game time focusing on things that are more interesting to the players as well as myself. Â Especially relevant since I get less than 2 hours a week with one of my groups.
Experience points. You level up when I think itâs appropriate.
Calculating/dealing with how much money weighs. As far as Iâm concerned all money exists in a convenient pocket dimension until you need it.
Inventory management for food/water. Â I assume that you eat and drink when necessary, and stock up on rations when youâre able. Â This only becomes relevant in extreme survival situations.
Going to the bathroom. Â I personally donât want to hear about it.
Inventory management for familiars. I assume youâre feeding the damn things and taking care of them in general. Â Iâm okay with players who roleplay their familiars constantly, but I also have nothing against familiars who only exist when they are needed pretty much.
Keeping track of ammunition. Â Infinite arrows/bolts/bullets for all I care. Â Unless theyâre enchanted or otherwise special.
Ride checks for basic getting from Point A to Point B. Â Unless youâre trying to go really fast or do something fancy, I assume you somehow work it out. Â Or unless youâre trying to ride something exotic I guess.
Going through the whole Night Watch thing every night. Â Early on I have players establish and normal night watch shift pattern, and I assume that is what they do unless they tell me otherwise. Â So when we want to get back to the story quickly, I can just tell the players that they used their regular night watch and nothing of interest occurred. No bother having players describe setting up camp and everything.
Identifying common/basic magical gear. Â You donât have to roll spellcraft, appraise or use the Identify spell if itâs an item youâve seen before. Â I donât want players to waste too much time figuring out what their loot is unless itâs specifically a mystery or something really high level and cool.
Confirming Criticals. This goes for both crit hits and crit misses. Â This one is more of a personal preference, and I let the group vote on whether they want it or not. Â One of my groups skips the step of confirming crits and I like it. Â The exception is if you have a wide crit range and roll below a 20. Â But on a 20 or a 1, something interesting always happens.
Anything you prefer to skip/gloss over? Â Disagree with any of my choices?
I share these, nothing wrong with doing them just as a GM I donât generally want to worry about this book-keeping.Â
For the identify thing I will actually tell people upfront as part of the session zero house-rule setting stage that Iâll try to describe common potions/items the same way every time and/or just straight up tell them it looks like other [insert relevant thing]s theyâve encountered before. BUT that, while 99% of the time it will be what they expect, they can never be 100% sure without more careful assessment.
This is just because sometimes itâs fun to play with that, as long as you arenât being mean or punishing with it and are doing something that they are going to find interesting/fun. Your âhealing potionâ should never be an instadeath poison, for example, but a healing potion that does significantly more healing than they expect in the moment BUT turns out to be infused with a curse they end up having to deal with later. THAT could be fun! (hell, that could be fun even if they did decide it was worth it to ID it first, do we keep it for if weâre in a bind and REALLY need it?)
If you are doing it this way, straight up rewarding them with better things than they expected for taking chances sometimes and always keeping a balance of reward and potential dangers in mind when you do take it ânegativeâ will help make this a fun thing rather than dreaded.
Old Cupboard is a free font I made for you to use in your good stuffs. I actually made it so screen readers could read the titles and chapter headings in The Forest Hymn, but you get a font out of it! https://coneofnegativeenergy.com/oldcupboard/
How To Play "Strip Magic: the Gathering"
So this came up at a Magic night I held the other night, and I kept thinking about it and, well⊠this happened. Have fun guys!
Version 1: Wardrobe Warfare
Clothing can be cast as creatures.
All articles cast this way are Artifact creatures with Hexproof and the ability âThis spell cannot be countered.â Different genders clothing will have different values to adjust for clothing requirements.
Male shirts are 5/5 creatures that cast for 3 mana. Female shirts are 3/3 creatures that cast for 3 mana, and their bras are 2/2 creatures with Flying that cast for 2 mana. Pants are 4/4 creatures with trample that cast for 4 mana. Panties/boxers/underwear are 3/3 creatures with Intimidate that cast for 4 mana. Socks are 1/1 creatures with the Soulbond ability, âWhen this creature is soulbonded, it gets +1/+1. If it is soulbonded with a creature that has âsockâ in its name it gets +2/+2 instead,â that cast for 2 mana each.
Aside from these rules, play the game normally.
Version 2: Planeswalkerâs Phyrexian Armor
You do not lose the game for having 0 or less life. When your life decreases to 0, your clothing may be attacked directly. Male shirts have 10 life. Female shirts have 4 life, and their bras have 6 life. Pants have 5 life. Panties/boxers/underwear have 8 life. Socks have 1 life each. When you are out of articles to be attacked, you lose the game. Clothing must be attacked from outwards to inwards in the cases of bras and panties/boxers/underwear.
Some suggested house rules:
Flash for mana Flash to make opponent discard one card from the top of their deck Flash to give target creature intimidate until end of turn Make out for fetch land Make out to draw a card Make out to nullify combat damage this turn Lapdance to give target creature +3/+3 Lapdance to counter target spell Lapdance to give target creature Lifelink until end of turn âPlaneswalkerâs Favorâ (Trade time-restricted sexual favors for various effects)
Thatâs all I got. Go have terrible fun with your friends now. Enjoy!Â
Terrible idea:
Tarot DnD. Itâs DnD but you replace the dice with tarot cards and the DM has to interpret the results by symbolism instead of numbers.
hey can you edit the tumblr title cuz i think you mightâve gotten the description in bold wrong
@savravodsavo
Thereâs a game that actually uses tarot cards for its resolution mechanic. The game is called Alas Vegas, the system is the Fugue System, and the core concept of the system is that characters donât know their abilities, recovering them during play.