Your Heart is like a baby bird

Hi, I go by she/her and I am a 26 year old Canadian with strong feelings on social justice, fandoms and fanfiction. I'm mostly on mobile, so you won't see a lot of tagging fyi.

[boo-topia]

Pride

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

Oh, I laughed.

[whataboutbobbed]

Nichelle Nichols (December 28, 1932 - )

[rhyfeddu-partyofone-deactivated]

“Uhura never had another name during the series. One of the fan writers wrote “Upenda” - which means “peace” in Swahili, I understand — not officially, but in some of their fan writings. And it sort of took hold. But when they were going to do the official history of Star Trek in a published book, the writer called Gene and asked him was “Uhura” her first name or her last name? Gene said, “Well, Nichelle and I never decided.” We always leaned towards it being her last name because it’s taken from the Swahili “uhuru” which means freedom. So it would sort of be like the same as “Freeman.” So he said, “You can make it her last name.” The writer said, “What about her first name? I’ve come up with one in Swahili. It’s Nyota.” Gene said, “I can’t give you that permission because Nichelle and I named her together, and she has rights to that, so you’ll have to call her and get her permission.” So he gave him my number, and he called me and I laughed and was delighted. He said, “I have a name and it’s Nyota.” I said, “That’s quite beautiful. What does it mean?” He said, “It means ‘star’.” I said, “You can have my permission!” So I have since said that her name is Nyota Upenda Uhura, which would mean a free-floating star: “star of freedom and peace”. I like that.”    — NICHELLE NICHOLS

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

If you're comfortable accusing anyone of faking disability, you're not a real ally to disabled people

[teaboot]

One time when I was a kid a group of girls and I had to treat another student for hypothermia by ourselves because she had so many invisible health issues that the adults we asked for help didn't believe us. The student in question was actively hallucinating. When I finally ran for help the people I grabbed were slow as shit to respond, casually joking about how "dramatic" the person in question was.

The kid was picked up by an ambulance 30 minutes later.

Now as an adult working in security I get SO MANY folks- upper-middle aged mostly- coming to me to 'rat out' people they think are faking it.

I was once sent into a bathroom because a client demanded that the "fucker won't get out, so go drag them out"- I was NEVER going to do that, so I did a wellness check instead. You know who it was? A person recently released from the hospital after a car accident. They had a hole in their skull and major hearing loss. They couldn't answer the owner because they couldn't HEAR the owner.

Another time about a homeless man who got around town by kicking the ground from his wheelchair. "You know he doesn't actually need that thing, his legs work fine, it's just for pity points"- Oh, so he's not paralyzed, his wheelchair is performative? Funny story Dale, I actually know that guy, he was backed over by a truck and has chronic pain from his shattered pelvis. But sure, let's make him stand up and walk everywhere so nobody feels too bad for him and tries to help him or something.

"She doesn't need that scooter, I've seen her get out of it."

"Look how fat he is, because he just rides around and refuses to get up."

"She doesn't really need that cane- she comes here without it all the time"

Sincerely, truly, from the bottom of my heart- as someone who isn't physically disabled but hears this shit all the time- fuck off

[sidetrek]

angstpt1.jpg

[lavenderprose]

Things that are ACTUALLY in the Shane Hollander Mic'd Up compilation that we all wish we could watch through the portal:

- "Hey, how was your summer? Good, good."

- "Mic'd up. I'm mic'd up. Don't."

- "Have you ever been to Greece? Told Ilya I would ask you."

- "What? No, man, he didn't say that. He said he was gonna get your ass. Yeah, man, he only fucks one ass. Yeah, I mean, I would say fuck you too but--"

- "Heeeey, davai, davai. Great assist. Hah, no, don't come closer, I'm mic'd and you know I don't trust you."

- "The Royal Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play. The Royal Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play. The Royal--"

- "HEY MATHESON. You ever been to Vegas? I said, you ever been to VEGAS? I hear they let the good hockey players go there in the summer but I feel like you wouldn't know that."

- "FUCK. Hey, ref, what the fuck was that? Oh, you didn't see that? Fuck you. No, you stay there, my husband's gonna talk to you--fuck you, put me in the bin then, this is bullshit--"

- "You have the smelling salts? Yeah. FUCK--"

- "I am mic'd. Remember I am mic'd. Nope, not even in Russian."

- "Oh, yeah, the pickle video was funny. Harris said it got a lot of views, so. Yeah, no, he actually really does love pickles that much."

- "Sinclair, you got something to say? Yeah, I'm better at hide the pickle than you are at hockey. You want to ask another stupid question?"

- "You know, I run a charity too. Oh, I just assumed that you were doing some kind of Make-A-Wish thing out here with your wingers, since it looks like this is your first day on the ice."

- "Oh, hey, look. Jackie and the kids are waving at us. Okay. Okay, Rozanov, that's enough."

- "Mic'd. Mic'd. Mic'd."

- "Hello Hockey Night, welcome to my husband's shoulder pads--" "Fuck OFF, Rozanov."

- "Great goal. Great goal. Lyublyu tebya. Yes, baby, you did that."

[penandinkprincess]

everyone knows that shallergies has me by the hair and won't let go, but i am also Compelled by the thought of ilya with food allergies

the way it plays into his father treating him like a disappointment because i ABSOLUTELY buy that his father would hold it against him and count it as a mark against him, especially where disability intersects with masculinity as a detraction. i also see it being held against irina, and the complex guilt of his mother being held responsible for his weakness.

this is even worse if alexei DOESN'T have any food allergies, because his brother both joins in and is an example that his father can use that it's a defect of ilya.

related: ilya being drilled from the time he's a kid to tell NO ONE about it because he's been brought up under the idea that he should be ashamed of it as a failure because rozanov men aren't susceptible to fucking tree nuts of all fucking things. ilya at family dinners/public events who becomes an expert at moving things around on his plate because he's not allowed to admit to any allergies, so nothing there is safe for him even among family. ilya who technically has a seat at the table but nothing on his plate that won't hurt him.

ilya in a new country having to translate every fucking label when it uses words he had no reason to learn in his english classes and different countries use different words for different things, so some things don't even have a translation that he can find.

ilya who is on med leave for a game because of accidental exposure and who hears people being happy about it because his reputation makes people rejoice at him potentially being sick or injured and not on the ice with them. ilya in a hospital, still feeling like shit because anaphylaxis is a bitch, seeing tweets of people not knowing what exactly happened but still being happy about it.

ilya leaning into partying/drinking/clubs because alcohol (at least as shots or single mixers) is a reliably safe option for socializing. he can't do dinners or meals with other people without admitting to what he's been trained to think of as a failure, but he can go to a club and down some vodka and be the life of the party because his weakness can't follow him here.

the reassurance of shane being so driven by routine and predictability. he's not bringing home surprises or new brands, and even if he did, he already checked the label after he's aware of ilya's allergies. he can go to shane's home at any time and know that the same things are in there and that those things are safe for him.

the summer at the cottage being the first time ilya has got to spend a summer being relaxed. he doesn't have to fake eat at family events. he doesn't have to hear his father's scorn when he checks labels as subtly as he can but still gets seen doing it. he gets there and finds out that shane already went grocery shopping and that everything in the cottage is available to him because it's all safe.

the pasta with shane's parents looking so simple and basic because david said he'd make lunch, and shane spoke up before ilya could tell him not to to say he needed to check the labels first to make sure they were good with the new diet he's trying. shane who covers for him, not because he views it as a failure but because he knows that ilya does. shane who got to tell the truth to his parents for the first time but still lies for ilya's sake. and even after he fesses up because he doesn't want shane keeping secrets from his parents just for him, david and yuna don't scorn him for it. it's a group hunt through labels and google, and in the end, it's pasta with some sauce made out of a tin of tomatoes they luckily had on hand and parmesan grated off of a fresh block that came still in the wrapper.

and for the first time, ilya is at a table with a family where he can eat his fill and know that he's safe while doing it.

[penandinkprincess]

My sister is very mildly allergic to red dye, one time I gave her a melatonin and only thought as she was bringing it up to her mouth that it might have red dye in it (it was cherry flavored), and without really thinking I just fully slapped it out of her hand, from her perspective I gave her a melatonin and then literally immediately slammed it to the ground for no reason, and then I just stood there like 😐🧍 while she was 😰???? Anyway it didn’t even have red dye in it so there was no need for literally any of that

i feel like making this situation worse is also that's just. such a sibling thing to do even without the allergies involved lmao.

"oh, you want this? here. PSYCH."

[penandinkprincess]

alright so in regards to Vegas Shane Anaphylaxis Angst. Once you have enough reactions you get pretty used to using an EpiPen on yourself, so you’re the one going “no big deal” while everyone else flips their shit. Shane’s probably used an EpiPen before but Ilya has no idea what to expect, which makes the negative BETTER. so. here’s what anaphylaxis feels like, for both the person reacting and the person wondering what the fuck is going on!

Part One: the initial reaction. A rash on the chest, neck, and sometimes face, a swelling throat, difficulty breathing, and nausea. Sometimes the nausea leads to vomiting while your throat closes, and this is the worst feeling in the world. Also, it freaks people out.

Part Two: the epi-pen itself. You open it, jab your leg, and hold for three seconds. The relief is nearly instant, and you can breathe as soon as you take the needle out of your leg. The rash also goes away. You have to put the empty pen in a bag or sharps box, or just hand it off to your panicked friend while they call an ambulance, or, if you’re American, a taxi. If one dose isn’t enough, the second dose goes in your other leg.

Part Three: this is where you start to get side effects. Now that your airway is clear and you’re no longer vomiting, you start to feel the consequences of a massive dose of pure adrenaline. You feel very hot and very cold, all at once. You start sweating, and your skin turns red, though it’s not itchy anymore. Your hands shake and your teeth chatter, which makes speaking difficult. Your heart rate increases dramatically, and you can feel your own pulse in your ears. You may get a stuffy nose when the increased blood flow reaches your sinuses. Also, that much adrenaline makes you feel like you’e just done three haunted houses and a rollercoaster. This freaks people out because it looks like you’re reacting again even though the opposite is true. You do not need another dose, not unless you still can’t breathe. It looks much worse than it is.

Part Four: you go to the emergency room. You need five hours of monitoring to make sure the reaction doesn’t persist and the adrenaline doesn’t give you a heart attack. A nurse may give you a low dose steroid which will make the redness go away. Now you sit and wait until you stop shaking. The adrenaline crash will make you very tired. Your friend will have many questions, such as “what the fuck”. Unfortunately, you cannot answer them, because you are asleep.

Bonus: if you’re American you get charged $500 for the ER visit and then $600 for a replacement EpiPen

thank you for your service to the lore of shallergies 🫡 soz about the american healthcare system of it all 🫡

[penandinkprincess]

cackling about the idea of shane feeling guilty about ilya sticking to the same diet as him to avoid allergens even in his home, so ilya just starts sending shane pictures or texts about eating allergens when he's on the road and they're apart

shane at random points just getting pictures of peanut butter toast and sesame chicken with captions like "i am cheating on you" and "my beautiful mistress" that make him roll his eyes but also feel a little better because ilya does still get to enjoy things he likes

(it DOES cause questions, though, when shane's phone is face up and a text notification just going "my mistress was good to me tonight" pops up and now shane is getting both questions and unneeded sympathy from people who think boston lily?? is cheating on him?? and is maybe also a lesbian??)

[penandinkprincess]

okay but little bb shane who learns allergies=don't have to eat that/do that anymore

and thus starts using "i'm allergic to that" as an attempt to get out of things he doesn't like

"i'm allergic to aunt gina's house"

"no, you're not, honey-"

"i'm allergic"

[penandinkprincess]

Ilya adds an "allergy safety" briefing to induction for new team members and staff. This is BEFORE Shane is even on the Centaurs mind.

Anyway, I'm just imagining Ilya with this meticulous presentation, codesigned with his mother-in-law the executive manager of his charity Yuna Hollander.

And once Shane IS at team events (between the outing and officially joining the Cens), Ilya lets them know WHY this is a big thing for him...

So the first Cens event Shane attends, he bears witness to an all-out ARGUMENT between like five of his future teammates over whether the cake has any airborne allergens that means it needs putting in the specially designated 'SHANE DO NOT GO HERE' area, or if it's just a problem if Shane ingests it...

Crucially, this argument started BEFORE he and Ilya arrived. Just the Cens standing there having this argument as Shane and Ilya walk into the room, overtaken by every emotion all at once that their team are being THIS accommodating before even OFFICIALLY meeting Shane.

i see this and raise you that ilya didn't actually tell them it was for shane specifically. they know that allergies are apparently Very Important to ilya so yeah, sure, buddy. maybe this is important to him in his family or something. whatever. doesn't matter. sure the peanut butter cookies can remain in a sealed container away from everything else. why not.

which means that shane arrives to this event to find five grown men arguing about whether this cake is A Bad Cake and needs to go to jail or not, and shane fully thinks he's having a stroke for a second. he knows all of those words but NOT in that order. and he's like ?? um?? and the guys fucking GRAB HIM and are like, "you are married to roz. you would know. he would want this cake to go in jail, right? it has hazelnuts in it." and shane is just "i don't even know what you're asking me." and gets the explanation that team events have sections for food and the main one is no common allergens and then there's "hey, if you're allergic, stay tf away" in another area, and it's just a team bit to call it jail now. so if someone forgets and is like, "this has lemon in it," they can get a verdict on jail or not jail.

and shane is?? oddly touched??? yeah, send the cake to jail for sure. :)

and significantly this means that still NO ONE ELSE knows about his allergies because he STILL DIDN'T TELL THEM. XD

[my-2nd-account]

It's so important to me that everyone who meets Ilya feels safe around him. Shane at age 19 trusting him with his body and his sexuality and his reputation therefore his whole career. Svetlana who left home and could've gone anywhere but chose to move to Boston because guess who also lives there. Every person he's ever hooked up with because that's 100+ of people trusting him and saying yes. Yuna and David who spent less than an hour around him (Ilyushka not Rozanov) and accepted him as Shane's boyfriend even though they've spent the last decade hating him on Shane's behalf. Jackie trusting him with her kids after only meeting him once. Harris's family inviting him over so many times. His neighbors' kids making it a habit to wish him good luck before games. Troy coming out to him when it's his first time saying it out loud. Luca asking him for advice because he's finding it hard to "meet people". Coach Wiebe coming out to him and telling him about the guy he was in love with.

He's the safe space he needed growing up. He's the comfort person he wished for when he felt like he had no one. He's the familiar warm presence who has so much love to give to make up for all the love that was taken away from him.

[penandinkprincess]

the Potential of tuna meltdown in shallergies verse given that one potential symptom of anaphylaxis is a sense of impending doom

so they eat, have handsy time on the couch, smooch smooch, first names, and oh. OH. gotta. gotta go. oh god. bad bad. death is coming. bad. bad bad.

and shane doesn't even realize at first what's happening because he thinks it's just the first names getting to him (and it is. partially.), but he's like. halfway back upstairs when what's ACTUALLY happening hits him.

and now we've got the combo of, "oh, i just came on this person, attempted to book it, but uuuuuuh hey ilya. i need. a favor. like...NOW."

[okaynotgoodprobablybad]

[penandinkprincess]

the idea of ilya, still half-dressed and with cum on his stomach, standing there like 🧍 because he is understandably confused about why shane is in his room throwing shit around like an angry ex only to get snapped at to lock in is SO goddamn funny oh my GOD

[penandinkprincess]

SO sweet and SO horribly wrong in this exact moment in the worst possible way

[penandinkprincess]

let it never be said he is not a giver

[penandinkprincess]

they're stupid and i love them dearly, your honor

[penandinkprincess]

fresh out of anaphylaxis and already horny again. the resilience of the human spirit. 😌

[penandinkprincess]

think of his STREET CRED, shane

[penandinkprincess]

you GOTTA not sass the guy controlling the lightswitch, my dude

[dontworryfolkswetookallherteeth]

As someone who already gets excluded all the time, allergies are only going to make things harder for Shane. It's a convenient excuse not to invite him to things, of course, but imagine one of his teammates at juniors has worked out that if he just happens to slip with the ketchup bottle, he gets to steal Shane's post match chips – it might not even be malicious! – or Shane running the gauntlet of explaining to the other kids that yes, this food will make him really ill, in a way that they take seriously but not so seriously they want to test it out and see what happens. He doesn't try hard enough and no one cares about cross contamination; he makes it sound too dramatic and someone sneaks a piece of tomato into his sandwich "just to see whether he was faking it".

I can see him moving to Montreal and deciding to keep his allergies under his hat to avoid it being tied into the usual hazing. Might mean he comes off as a bit antisocial, never turning up to team meals unless he's personally vetted the resturaunt and he NEVER has a cheat day for his fancy diet... but he also doesn't have to constantly play keep away with his drinks.

[nightquills]

the idea of them sitting down at a restaurant for lunch with shane's parents and shane was running late so ilya's already done the whole allergy check by the time he gets there, and the waitress is waiting to take his order and shane is a little ruffled because Late and Person Is Waiting On Me, so ilya ever so helpfully, "the chicken sandwich loves you" "ilya please" "the chicken *burger* hates you, though. she is slut for sesame seeds." "can you please just be normal about this ONE time." yuna from across the table: "the salmon salad loves you, too, if you get it without croutons." "i swear to GOD i will move to another table."

(referencing this post)

this is so cute and so funny and i am enjoying shane's embarrassment and despair at the hands of his concerned and loving family so much

david very helpfully volunteers that "the tilapia, uh.... cheated on you? since last time? they said they changed the recipe for the breading and now it has almonds."

shane puts his head in his hands like "maybe anaphylaxis would be better than this. i'm not even that hungry."

"shane! there's no need to be so dramatic," yuna says.

ilya, ever the helpful menace, has a suggestion. "lyubimyy, we ordered loving appetizers for the table to share. you and i could split a main dish as well? it will be like a threeso—"

shane stands up, tells the waitress "i am so sorry for the delay. i'll have the salmon salad without croutons," and goes to use the bathroom for A Moment Of Peace, Please God Above

the waitress has so many questions, and she is getting no answers. but she very carefully logs the order and notes that it's because of allergies, and she gets a very nice tip at the end of the hollander-rozanov family's lunch.

[penandinkprincess]

I know in my heart that shane is the type of person who would never bring up essential personal details until they are immediately relevant and then would also be so understated about them

he and ilya are hanging out in the yard and some bees are buzzing around because some watermelon juice spilled on the ground earlier and shane suggests they go inside or rinse the juice off the patio and ilya teases him about being scared of little bees and shane SO nonchalantly just, "no, but i am allergic and you don't know where my epipen is"

and ilya

[penandinkprincess]

reblogging with my own tags because i'm also CACKLING imagining the implications of this not being specific to ilya, either. they're having a barbeque at hayden and jackie's house and hayden is good-naturedly encouraging shane to try a piece of coffee cake or something and ilya just goes, "no, bad for you"

and hayden IMMEDIATELY is on the defensive because what? you get to tell him what to eat now? where do you get o-

"no, bad for him because it has walnuts in it, pike. you want him to die? this is what you want?"

"what are you talking about?"

shane: "i'm allergic"

"??? since WHEN??"

"since always??"

"you've eaten over at my house HOW many times?? and never brought this up? the fuck, dude?"

"jackie knows"

"WHY DOES JACKIE KNOW AND I DON'T"

[penandinkprincess]

yuna and david dialing IN to "if you don't freak out, they won't freak out" during shane's formative years to the unintended and unfortunate side effect of ending up in situations like bb!shane going *calm tug tug on david's shirt* "yeah buddy?" *big inhale that audibly wheezes as his throat starts swelling shut*

[penandinkprincess]

the idea of ilya on instagram accidentally pressing like while DEEP in allergy mommy blogging territory and natalie from That Allergy Mama DMing him to be like "hi, my husband wants me to tell you he says hi and that he's a big fan and also that call against you against san francisco was bullshit." "hello, husband of natalie. also do you have any suggestions for substituting peanuts in this recipe?"

shane at the other end of the couch after thirty minutes of ilya not looking up is just ??? who the FUCK are you texting down there??? and ilya still without looking up just, "many many sexy women who are crying because i am married now. they are very upset." as if his ass isn't diligently taking notes from a married mother of four on a good allergy-friendly pad thai recipe because shane mentioned in passing that it smelled good the last time ilya ordered some and now ilya wants to find out how to make some he can try.

[penandinkprincess]

he gets filmed for a what i eat in a day/day in the life type video and is so used to thinking about substitutes at this point that he doesn't even think about it when he mentions them in passing. they keep an allergy friendly household so the stuff he mentions is compliant, but it's paired with comments like, "and then i add some wowbutter, which is soybeans and not peanuts. we also sometimes have sunflower seed butter, but the texture for this is better with the wowbutter. i have also tried this, what is it called-shane: the gross paste with beans" *shane, offscreen from the living room*: "chickpea butter?" "yes, this." "it's nasty" "yes, not good. their jar says it is, but it is not. anyway-"

and it truly IS casual for him because this is just how he thinks now, but everyone else just ??? allergy friendly homemaker ilya rozanov??? since when??

[penandinkprincess]

A. the idea of ilya being lowkey stressed about shane surprising him and potentially being exposed to allergens is so fucking funny. ilya who ends up also keeping an allergy-friendly household PURELY because it's just less stressful that way. meanwhile the motherfucker WITH the allergies is SO fucking casual about it that it wouldn't even occur to him to ask ilya to do that.

B. when they're pushing the friendship cover, ilya gets nudge nudge jokes about trying to copy what hollander's doing, and he's not going to share information shane didn't greenlight to get out, so he just plays along. and now there's like. at least three other players lowkey accidentally following an allergy diet because they don't know it's an allergy diet. why do hollander and now rozanov not eat tree nuts? unclear, but they're also the best two players in the entire industry so it's worth a shot to copy them.

C. people being so afraid of ilya's wrath if shane has an allergic reaction to something at their house is KILLING ME. shane just fucking. STANDS near a plate of peanut butter cookies on the table in the backyard during a barbeque and four different people are immediately there shoving him away because they will NOT answer to rozanov about this. they will NOT die over cookies. who is the IDIOT who brought PEANUT BUTTER COOKI-

[penandinkprincess]

@lucky-santangelo ilya only getting five seconds of feeling smug and holier than thou before shane puts him on blast is KILLING me XD

@shanetism the idea of ilya finding out how many times he could have potentially killed shane over the years from not knowing this VERY IMPORTANT THING ABOUT HIM and shane's life flashing before HIS eyes is so funny. also the idea that shane was going to show him the fucking WELL at the cottage and just not mention the drawer his epipen is in and ilya being so ??!!! HOLLANDER ?!?! PRIORITIES ?!?!

[penandinkprincess]

shane groaning SO loud when ilya first breaks out the allergy cards because GOD ilya it's NOT that serious this is embarass-

oh? is this more or less embarassing than having allergic reaction in the middle of a restaurant and needing your epipen? hm? shut up and take the fucking shiny cards, hollander.

and riFUCKINGp to the restaurant that lied about not using peanut oil in their fryer as an angry, stressed ilya is stuck in a hospital lobby with wifi and a lot of energy that has nowhere to go until he's allowed to be back with his husband. you're DONE FOR.

also ilya being lowkey SO fucking frustrated at shane having allergies AND refusing to eat fast food, especially when they're on the road so often and ilya eats allergy-free when they're together. hollander, pick a struggle. you know what will not kill you? mcmuffin. she loves you. look at her allergen list. she is safe. this organic artisinal breakfast wrap from this tiny cafe cannot say the same. she does not love you like mcmuffin. she probably whores around with peanuts.

[penandinkprincess]

GOD the psychic damage ilya takes the day he finds out body products can have allergens in them. his body wash company is getting a SCATHING email about fucking around with their formula when there are PEOPLE with ALLERGIES who RELY ON-

and shane meanwhile is just, "i can take some meds and just be itchy for a little bit. it's seriously not a big deal." "you are covered in bumps! it could have been worse. they should have to give warnings if they are going to fuck around with things like this." "you seriously have to calm down. it's not going to stop me from play-" "shane i cannot overstate how much i need you to not talk about hockey to me right now."

[penandinkprincess]

MAN

shane growing up who always got, "oh, you poor thing" from well-intentioned adults as a kid and then, "damn, i could NEVER live like that" from same-age peers when older whenever he had to explain his allergies, and it was both annoying and also felt like failing at something when he had to decline a piece of birthday cake or a slice of pizza because it wasn't safe for him.

but if he frames it as a performance diet, then suddenly! admiration! he gets some teasing obviously, but there's also an air of "good for you, man" that lands a lot easier than pity.

this does, unfortunately, mean that he just develops a habit of just never saying ANYTHING when not directly asked lmao.

[penandinkprincess]

@riddlemaster101

i feel like shane would reliably tell medical people because this is a Rule for medical settings so yes of course he'll go into detail

for everyone else though??? cackling about people who have known him for literally fifteen years finding out about potentially deadly allergies ONLY because ilya is fucking interrogating the waiter at the restaurant. shane of Before just would have probably declined going and used his diet as an excuse because he didn't want to have it be A Whole Thing. now he has a husband to "he said no pickles" his allergies on his behalf, so he's straight chilling. 🤣

[wendydarling95]

Can we also talk about the Yuna and David of it all?

David spots them at the cottage and they go over, Shane's cottage is obviously allergen free and the shopping he did is all safe for him. Yuna and David know to cook safely, the chicken parm is all good and fine but they say "the croutons aren't safe for you, but you don't like those anyway" just in passing as a matter of habit and Ilya who JUST learned about bananas and latex and bees is like "oh wow! More allergies?? I need a list. Haha" and then they have the meal and the panic attack and they become boyfriends. Before they leave Yuna makes him a copy of her list of all the known allergens and Shane's common reactions to them, it's the first time he hugs her. He looks her in the eye and says "thank you for letting me take care of him. I will be careful."

It's a relief, to know he cares to try. But at the end of the day they JUST met this man. So they cross their fingers and try not to feel the same way they did every time Shane went to somebody's house for a birthday party or a sleepover.

And then they are over at the cottage some night and they decide to order in for dinner. Ilya takes everybody's orders and goes to the kitchen to call it in for them and it's taking *forever* so Yuna goes to see if he needs any help. She finds him sitting with two copies of the list, hers and one translated into Russian for his easy reference. He has the phone on speaker and says "thank you for checking the dressing ingredients, I know is weird request, but sometimes Caesar dressing is safe, sometimes not safe, but he likes it so much is worth checking. Yes, I'll hold again."

They've ordered from this place a dozen times, their recipe for Caesar dressing is safe, YUNA knows that, SHANE knows that, that's why he ordered it. But *Ilya* doesn't. So he's checking. Because Shane wants the dressing and Ilya want him *safe* and *happy*. And isn't that all a parent wants? For their kid to be with someone who is just as invested in their happiness and safety as they are? For somebody who will wait on hold while they check the fry oil and the dressing ingredients and whatever else?

Once Ilya has placed the order and hung up he gets surprised by a hug from behind, thin arms wrapped around him and perfume he's starting to recognize. He's bewildered, but when he asks gently "...Mrs. Hollander?" She just tells him to call her Yuna.

[penandinkprincess]

WEEPING

also cackling about the idea of ilya using the group chat with them to be mad about brands changing their ingredients so things that were SAFE are now NOT 😤 it started just as a "hey, those crackers aren't safe anymore" as a collective fyi thing, but it ends up being ilya just mad about safe things not being safe anymore

significantly shane remains SO unbothered about it all

[penandinkprincess]

also EXTREMELY funny to imagine ilya suddenly being strict about allergens in his house with svetlana, who has done body shots off of strangers with this motherfucker who is suddenly?? confiscating her granola bar??? ilya what the actual FUCK is happening right now??? "no peanuts inside anymore" "...what the fuCK ARE YOU TALKI-"

[unashamedly-enthusiastic]

@decisionscape talks us through a summary of animal genders in English language story books study by the.pudding

Bears Will Be Boys

A data analysis of animal gender in children’s books