superache by conan gray but it's the marauders (very detailed bc it's 4am, i can't sleep, and this is something i have thought about in detail). also, fair warning: it gets kinda sad. not that that should be a surprise, seeing as it's the marauders and that superache doesn't have particularly happy songs, but still.
movies- THIS IS JAMES. james. fleamont. potter. not specifically jily, not specifically jegulus, not specifically whatever ship you have with james. no. this is the way james views love as a whole. this is how james loves. like in the movies. like in a fairytale. he is a hopeless romantic and, inevitably, there is always the moment where he ends up hurt bc reality comes crashing back way too hard way to fast and all at once.
people watching- this is mary and peter. this is mary when she sees james flirting with lily and everyone being ok with it bc he's a boy and she's a girl, so what could there ever be wrong. this is mary when she notices lily likes him back. this is mary when james and lily start dating, when every single person is the school knows that james potter is in love with lily evans and that she finally likes him back and noone bats an eye at it. this is mary knowing that if she had been in james's place, if she had been the one to repeatedly and publicly declare her love for lily, everyone would have had an opinion on it. because they're two girls. because they're two girls and that means people think they're entitled to an opinion on something that doesn't concern them in the slightest. this is peter when all his friends are falling in love. when james is head over heels for lily. when james is sneaking out of the dorm almost every night to go see regulus. this is peter when he notices the way remus looks at sirius when the latter isn't looking. when he realises sirius is doing the same. this is peter when he sees mary pining after lily. when they get together in 7th year. this is peter when he realises that, despite marlene having had a rivalry with dorcas for years, she's falling for the slytherin girl. when he sees dorcas stare at the gryffindor across the great hall. this is peter when they meet up with alice and frank a few years after the two have graduated, and they all get invited to their wedding. this is peter when he realises that everyone is finding the love of their life at hogwarts, everyone except for him.
distaster- this is rosekiller. this is two people who have always been best friends but they have also never quite been just that, yet they would rather be that than risk being nothing. they're there for each other, that's all they need to know.
best friend- there are a LOT here. we have james and sirius, best friends, absolute platonic soulmates from the moment they saw each other on the hogwarts express in their first year. we have remus and lily, who bonded over their shared knowledge of the muggle world, over their shared fascination with magic, over their shared love of books and study, over the quick temper they both have, over their need of a moment of quiet when things get too much. mary and marlene, two fierce girls ready to face whatever life threw at them who, like james and sirius, met on the train and became attached at the hip, immediately deciding that this girl they just met would be their partner in everything, in facing judgement of any kind. this would be the girl they would spend entire nights gossiping with, this would be the girl who they would help with anything, whether that be doing their eyeliner or dealing with bullies. they knew they were willing to do anything for the other, and they knew the feeling was mutual. regulus and pandora, who both snuck out on the same night, running into each other on the astronomy tower. regulus had learned to hide his emotions, his passions, due to his parents, but with pandora it was easy. they started talking about the stars, about the sky and there was just no stopping them. from that very first night they realised how effortless it was to understand each other, how they could have the craziest discussions about the randomest subjects and understand every word of what the other meant. how they were always able to catch the glint in each other's eye when they had an idea for a prank. because they pulled pranks too, almost enough to rival the marauders. they were just better at not getting caught.
astronomy- JEGULUS. if this song doesn't have jegulus vibes, i don't know what does. the stars and the sky are a theme i have always deeply connected with regulus, but it's not just that. yes, the vibes are immaculate, the theme fits perfectly, but the lyrics are the true masterpiece. this is canon jegulus when the war is looming, when james is doing everything in his power to hold on to regulus, but the younger boy is already losing hope, knowing he is moments away from being forced to take the mark.
yours- this is regulus when he and james are forced to hide. because of his family. because of the war. because of people's prejudices. because of what sirius might think. this is regulus when everyone thinks james is in love with lily, and james has to go along with it. because james has been pining after lily for YEARS. he can't just drop it without people asking questions. this is regulus looking at james across the great hall, seeing the way he looks at lily and wondering if maybe he's not pretending as much as regulus thought he was. this is regulus after the war tears them apart and james ends up with lily, when regulus realises that maybe he was right, maybe james never stopped loving lily and he can't even blame him. he probably would have chosen lily over himself as well. he's just angry that he let himself think what they had ever actually mattered. letting himself think that it was ever more than a fling. letting himself think that it was love. (yours is also very specifically regulus in just lovers (like we were supposed to be) by zeppazariel.)
jigsaw- yet again regulus, but it's not james's love he's yearning for. it's not sirius's either. it's his parents'. his parents who, once they realised sirius was a lost cause, started pushing all the expectations on regulus. any rule they taught him before became stricter, any piece of himself he had been allowed to keep was taken away. anything that could risk him not being their golden child, the perfect heir sirius's never was, became forbidden, and if it was already forbidden before, then the rule was now even more enforced. regulus spent his whole life being taught that the only reason his parents didn't show how much they loved him was that he wasn't good enough. not smart enough, not polite enough, not cold enough, not perfect enough. he tried so hard to be what they wanted him to be that he lost himself in the process.
family line- i mean, do i really need to get into this? it's the blacks, all of them. it's sirius, regulus, andromeda, narcissa, even bellatrix. it's thesw children trying to survive in a family that wants them to be soldiers, to be murderers. a family that wan't them to be perfect first and human second. it's children who had no choice but to grow up too fast, some losing themselves in the process, some risking their lives and refusing to be forced into a mold, some adapting to the mold, learning the tricks of how to slip through the cracks, how to work throught the loopholes of the the infinite rules without getting caught.
summer child- remus used to love the summer, until taking off his shirt started to mean showing his scars, until lying in the grass at night was no longer peacefully looking at the stars, but wondering what monster may be lurking in the dark. until the moon was no longer a beautiful thing it the sky but a countdown, a timer that kept track of how long it would be until HE was the monster lurking in the dark. remus often still looks happy and carefree, but those who know him best can see the way he always helps others long before he helps himself, they can see the weight that lingers on him at all times. his mother, who has known him all his life, who knew him when he really was just a carefree child with nothing to worry about, she's the one who can best see the difference. she's the one who can see how hurt the four year old boy was when his father started ignoring him, how scared the eleven year old was to go to hogwarts because "what if i hurt someone". but she was also there to see how happy he was when his friends didn't leave, when their support never wavered, when they were with him before and after every full moon (and during, but she doesn't know that).
footnote- mary is the life of the party, the bold one everyone knows will easily deal with bullies, the one who always knows what to do, what to say, where to go, who to talk to. except when it comes to lily. then she falters. then she has no clue what to say, how to handle herself when lily asks her for advice on what to do. first with severus, then with james. she wants to be happy for lily, she really does, but everytime she can't help but wish she would just ask marlene for help. or alice. or remus. anyone but her. but no, mary is the one who always knows what to do, so she's the one lily always comes to. and everytime, she listens to lily rant, she insults stupid boys with her, she comforts her as she cries, she gives her advice. because she doesn't have a choice. she can't just refuse to help with no explanation, because that will make lily hate her and that would be even worse.
memories- POST AZKABAN WOLFSTAR. POST. AZKABAN. WOLFSTAR. remus has spent years trying to move on, trying to leave sirius in the past, to keep the memories of him from invading the presente and the future. but then sirius escapes, and his face is everywhere. his name whispered among the students as he gets closer and closer to hogwarts. for twelve years remus has done everything possible to not let sirius affect him, and here he comes, in the flesh, to mess all of it up.
the exit- jegulus after reg gets the mark. they break up, separated by the war, by their choices, by things that are too big for teenagers to be handling. and, less than a year later, james starts dating lily. regulus thought that, if he was suffering, at least they were suffering together. but it turns out that no, he's alone in this too. forever the second choice. forever the one left behind in pain while others find a new life.
