Zoe

If you didn't want to be assimilated into my found family then you should have killed me when you had the chance

[luxfuxxvii]

not now kitten, mommy needs to get up off her ass and overcome her fear of writing poorly because it's better than not writing at all.

[say-cyke-rn]

another

[aesungaia]

Everyone's Friend

[utopians]

people aren't even exaggerating indeed is literally like that. walmart attendant $13 an hour, target attendant $13 an hour, AI dick sucker $40 an hour, home depot attendant $13 an hour, guy who designs bullets that can only kill children $160k a year plus benefits, gas station manager $18 an hour

[fellshish]

i’m so glad goncharov happened pre ai slop era

[romanitas]

#weird way to describe 1973 but i guess it’s accurate

[olliemnjones]

[tommyssupercoolblog]

Because the notes are full of people arguing over which game is better

[sunfloweroricarus]

I’m so bad at details

[bulbabutt]

i don't know the etiquette for posting other peoples tiktoks but the delivery of this punchline hit me like a FUCKING TRUCK please

NikhilClayton <- you should follow this guy on tiktok he's fucking hilarious

[brightlotusmoon]

[ekjohnston]

The closing stinger is ART.

[joltai-showa]

see, this is why Akatsuki are the funniest thing this manga produced: these guys will cause canon events for thousands of people, destroy half of the town they are in and overall will be responsible for unimaginable devastation and then immediatelly switch to doing some bullshit

like, Hidan is praying to his murder god while the jinchuriki is just barely hanging there, and Kakuzu deadass got his Excel spreadshits on his lap. either that, or he's bored and doing crosswords #OldManRecreativeActivities

[what-even-is-thiss]

I love listening to really old music. Dude’s bragging about how long he can have sex with a full brass band behind him.

[what-even-is-thiss]

20s-60s pop music be like “I’m gonna cuck every man in town because I have a great tongue” *sick piano solo*

[sam-sometimes-wise]

People are like, "Pop culture was so innocent back then!"

meanwhile every time a refined old crooner mentions a woman's "charms" you can basically imagine that "sexyback" by Justin Timberlake just started playing in the background.

"someone to hold in my arms/and know the magic of her charms" yeah sure mister bobby darin that sounds like a wholesome retro activity

people have always been people. they've always been doing the same things.

[bettermetalgoat]

People pearl clutching over songs like WAP: ”Songs were so wholesome and clean back then. Not like NOW!”

Lucille Bogan in the 1920s about to drop the raunchiest song she can think of: “I got a song about fucking and it’s not going to beat around the bush about it. Gonna open with a line about my titties.”

[what-even-is-thiss]

You weren’t kidding

[beemovieerotica]

people who are just finding out about internet tracking and data mining in the year 2025 and that your special robot friend does not respect your privacy lol

[hollowedskin]

"I asked it but it said no so the mystery is still unsolved" how have you survived to adulthood?

[armeleia]

Always remember that you aren't the customer, you're the product. You are being mined and packaged for sale to someone else.

[burgerdotcom]

reblogs were off

[chama-018]

chibi akatsuki i love you…

[notkatniss]

this shit is killing me

[comeonreginaldd]

he was so tiny 😭😭😭

[animentality]

[alfgifu]

this reads like it was submitted to a local newspaper in the early 1900s

[perfect-puppy]

[capitaobarba79]