well, folks, as you may have recently noticed, i am not in fact dead, despite being absent from here and ao3 for like.... 2 years? oops. long story short, i took a break to deal with a crisis way back in like january '23, then got invested in non-sprite writings, and in general lost most of my steam/energy/motivation for the account for a long while. if you're worried this message is a formal goodbye, don't, it's not. yet.
i currently have about a dozen posted WIPS up on ao3, not counting a few others which i went in this week and quietly edited to show them complete as-is, just because i really do not have more thoughts on them and they also hadn't received much traffic, so i didn't think i'd be disappointing many people. i do plan to finish everything on my account that's a WIP, though it's going to take A WHILE, because most of them are many, many chapters which I have barely begun to continue. i'll be working on them as inspiration/motivation comes and updating as soon as something's finished, so you can expect a gradual trickle over the coming months and years before i'll hang up my sprite wings "for good."
as some may have noticed, however, based on the ask game like, two posts beneath this, where I listed all my wip folders/docs, i have MANY more things in some state of existence than are posted on ao3. i'm still sorting through all of these and determining what i want to do with it all, because these range from one-line premises to thousands of words of a story. i definitely think some of these concepts that i've done a lot of work on i'll either finish at some point and post, or get a friend to help me finish (drop an ask if you might be interested), or post as-is with a short summary of what the ending was supposed to be or could be, with an open invite for others to continue it if inspired.
as for other things i have noted down which I haven't much worked on, i will be dropping those steadily on tumblr under the tag "sprite's vault" and these will be completely free to use, borrow, enjoy as thoughts, or anything. if you do create something, i'd love a tag so i can see that someone else enjoyed the concept too.
thanks to everyone who's supported my stories with comments, kudos, memes, asks, and everything else, and everyone who's still here for the finite stories to come. love you all
It's up and down for me but one thing in life is certain...Im getting my own plushie is Lez (Yipee!...I've saving for years for this moment to arrive! WAHOO!...Also guys I got a red eared slider turtle name Leo...and now he is gone :( (Missing not dead...i hope)
How ya feeling guys doing: @thing7577, @ldma-boodyshaker900, and @yuichiusagilover9000?
I couldn't find any photos of him since it's on another devise that is not with me rn but if anyone sees a red eared slider with a weird shell unlike this guy...that is probably not mine :/ (Im copeing yall)
The Annual Batfamily Easter Egg Battle Royale Begins
Please enjoy this chaos that's been sitting in my drafts for about four years now. Feel free to add on! If you do, please @ me so I see it 😊
"Alright. So. The current records are: 167, most eggs found in a single hunt, Cass. 2,753, most eggs found total, Dick, which I still say is unfair. The abandoned nest of a bird a quarter mile into the back woods to the southwest, most ridiculous hiding spot, me. And last but not least, most stolen eggs, 912, Jason."
Tim glared at his older brother, who grinned evilly.
"You didn't have to give me your eggs, technically."
"I move," Tim said through gritted teeth, "to abolish blackmail from the list of approved theft methods."
"There's a list of approved theft methods?" Duke whispered.
"Hell, yeah."
"The runner ups!" Steph cried, physically jumping in the middle of the burgeoning chaos. "124, most eggs in a single hunt, Barbara, since Cass's other high scores can't count. 2,171, most eggs total, Jason. I will give you as many of my eggs as necessary this year to help you topple Dick's score."
"Hey!"
"That's my girl!"
Steph and Jason fist-bumped.
"Second most ridiculous hiding spot goes to Cass again, with behind the loose brick in the garden wall on the west property line. And second most stolen eggs is won by Damian, with 483. Please be aware that death threats with or without weaponry are officially off the list of approved theft methods."
"Tt."
Cullen raised a hand. "What about Nerf weaponry? Or paintball guns?"
Everyone looked at Dick, who pursed his lips and looked up at the ceiling, considering.
"Paintball guns, no, Nerf weapons I'll allow on probation," he decided. He glared specifically at Damian, Jason, and Harper. "Use them responsibly."
"Tt. Of course."
"Sure thing, Dickie."
"Yeah, absolutely."
Dick pinched the bridge of his nose and muttered in Romani, "I am making a mistake."
"You think?"
"Moving on," Barbara interrupted. "As always, Bruce and Alfred have color-coded the eggs in equal amounts, because neither of them understand the concept of siblings or competition. The colors are thus: Dick, blue; me, light green; Jason, red; Tim, orange; Cass, pink; Steph, purple; Damian, dark green, and there's a picture, so don't you dare pretend to be 'confused;' Duke, yellow; Harper, mismatched blue and purple; Cullen, mismatched orange and light green. There are thirty for each of us, theoretically."
"We changed up the rules just a little," Dick continued. "Instead of two points for stolen and one for rightful, we now switched it to two points for rightful and one for stolen–"
This was met by a loud round of boos, so he quickly and loudly added, "At Alfred’s request!" to make them subside.
"As always, the grand prize is bragging rights, which are taken away if you decide to be an asshole about it."
Dick sent a stink-eye towards Jason, who folded his arms across his chest and defended, "I was twelve."
"Uh huh. Anyway, any minute now, B is going to come in here and set us loose, and we have until dinner at 6pm sharp to find all three hundred eggs, return, and clean up. You may work in teams or individually, and no betrayals. We're going to go about this like civilized people, am I right?"
There were a few quiet agreements. Dick cleared his throat and repeated, "Am I right?"
"Yes," came the chorus.
"Alright. Good luck. And remember, any undiscovered eggs go to Bruce. Last year, that total numbered fifty-four. Are we going to let it happen again?"
"No!" came a far more enthusiastic chorus.
"Eggs-cellent."
"I have not yet killed a man with a Nerf gun, Grayson," Jason said, "but I swear to God, today, I will try."
"I am requesting a partner," Duke said, raising one hand. "I want to trust somebody."
"I got you, bro," Tim said, stepping closer to Duke while eyeing Damian, Jason, and Steph. "I've been targeted too many times."
"On second thought."
"Nooo!" Tim wailed, dropping to his knees and throwing his arms around Duke's legs. "I beg of you, my brother, do not abandon me to my fate! Mercy! Pity!"
"Oh, come on," Jason scoffed.
"We're not that mean," Steph agreed.
"There, there," Duke chuckled, patting Tim's head. "I was just teasing. I'll protect you."
"Thank God."
Meanwhile, Harper turned to Cullen and warned him, "You, specifically, are going down."
"Not if you go down first."
"If I go down," Babs said, "I can and will take all of you with me."
There was a knock on the door. The kids all turned to each other, half gleeful, half looking terrified more than anything. Bruce Wayne entered, Alfred at his side. They both eyed the children suspiciously.
"We're all set," Bruce said, gaze lingering on Jason, Steph, and Damian, who were now the pictures of innocence. "You know what to do. Remember that no eggs are hidden in the cave or the bedrooms. If any of you come back bleeding, you are all grounded until next Easter. Understood?"
Tim raised his hand. "What if we were innocent victims in vicious attacks?"
"You're my children," Bruce said flatly. "None of you are innocent."
This was supposed to be a christmas countdown playlist fill, but the idea had I think been around longer, because I remember plot notes that I cannot find. Bruce isn't Batman in it, and it's set in the same 1930s era, and is mostly the same as the 1998 movie (I think it's 1998), except that "Annie" would have actually been taken away by "the Mudges" and there'd be a fun rescue later, because what's a batfam fic without a little hostage situation?
THE CAST
Dick as Annie
Bruce Wayne as Oliver Warbucks
Jason, Damian, Steph, Cass, Tim, and Duke as the Orphans
(pretty sure there are 8 boroughs East End where Jason and the cast live, Gotham Heights, Burnley, New Town, Miller Harbor/The Docks, Coventry, The Narrows, where Steph reigns Burnside)
Convo between Jason and Artemis
WATCH WHAT HAPPENS
Artemis (internal monologue, written work, and talking to herself) (keep the actual words from the article)
"You're still our brothers, and we will fight for you."
“And the strike starts right damn now.”
USE JACK'S SPEECH VERBATIM
Oh shit Delanceys go for Dami/Les first
+Artemis kinda
Bruisers and cops show up, much fighting, Tim is arrested, realistically Artemis throws punches before someone shoos her away. Jason is going to do a lot of looking after Damian.
SANTA FE
Jason (internal monologue and talking to himself)
✨️trauma✨️
Restaurant mope and celebration
KING OF NEW YORK
Damian, Dick, Tim, Duke, Cass, Babs, Harper, Cullen, Wally, Roy
+Alfred +Artemis
Gotta be like a dance thing and/or wrestling match
LETTER FROM THE REFUGE
Tim (writing the letter so content and internal monologue maybe flashbacks but nothing aloud)
Jason painting at the theater, Selina’s advice, Dick, then Damian and Artemis, invade
Medda’s speech verbatim
KEEP RUNNING AWAY CONVO
'Jason stared at the paint can, wondering if downing it would kill him fast enough to escape this conversation'
“Yes, he did. And then he died.”
“Can we table the palaver and get back to business?”
WATCH WHAT HAPPENS REPRISE
Jason, Dick, Damian, Artemis
POOR GUYS HEAD IS SPINNING
“Thank you, God!”
“We’ve got faith, we’ve got the plan, and we’ve got Jay!”
“And I’ve got a date!”
BOTTOM LINE REPRISE
Sionis, Artemis, Hamilton Hill, Joker, Book Guy, Big Guy, Circe, Jason, Delanceys
Artie more angry than sad/afraid
Amp trauma/angst/fear
Artie was probably abused, will flinch at the loud bangs
Jason gets roughed up some
*slam* “WHAT GOOD WOULD QUIET DO ME?”
Use lots of Pulitzer’s lines
“Does anyone else feel a noose tightening?”
“Your abject surrender was always the bottom line.”
“Be glad you’re alive boy…”
“Lucky for them, all but one got away/they may not be so lucky tonight.”
BROOKLYNS HERE
Steph and gang
Meeting
Dick, Selina, Dami, NEWSIES
Six boroughs actually show up for the union meeting
Davey’s speech verbatim
“You wanna be talked to like an adult, start acting like one. Don’t just run your mouth, make some sense.”
Jason visibly struggling to get the words out.
Scene on the rooftop with Artemis.
She clocks him in the jaw… then kisses him
Also we need to address the threat against the other Newsies with regard to the Refuge, bc Artemis heard that
SOMETHING TO BELIEVE IN
Artemis and Jason
Printing Press scene
“Remind me to stay on your good side.”
ONCE AND FOR ALL
Jason, Dick, Damian, Artemis, Kon, Steph, Newsies
“We ain’t come this far to lose.”
Keep article.
“They think they’re running this town, but this town would shut down without us.”
Office Scene
Sionis, Circe, Book Guy, Jason, Big Guy, Dick, Steph, Hill, Bruce, Selina, Artemis
“We’re your loyal employees, we would never take our business elsewhere.”
Davey and Jack.
“Have a look out there, Mr. Sionis. In case you ain’t figured it out, we got you surrounded.”
Bruce’s vibe will be different from Teddy’s.
“I’m young, I ain’t stupid.”
IT’S A COMPROMISE WE CAN ALL LIVE WITH.
Appropriately edited finale. Maybe Artie inherits the paper? Improves for all workers
I really really want to know about how you're gonna fic Gotham War plsssss
And also BANE SEQUEL!!!!
so i did the very little work i did on GW like 2 years ago and had to go back to my notes but some of what i had
"our" bruce never had a zur eh ar to begin with but when he was universe hopping a different bruce put it in his head (bc i think the whole concept is so idiotic), and until bruce gets home there's no contention bc going home is The MissionTM, but when bruce is home and comatose ZEA takes over
selina and jason and tim all have a way better plan along similar principles, where instead of whatever the hell mess they were doing, they're working on programs for ex-cons to get legal jobs and self-defense programs for people to fight back if gangs try to nab them for shit. bruce, or more accurately ZEA, still blows up about this
jason confronts "bruce" about this, calling him a hypocrite bc he spared the joker for even the slightest chance of redemption but now he wants regular mooks who aren't that bad to do life??? also by the logic "bruce" is pushing, he should be locking jason up too. ZEA basically says "hm u rite" and jason is Shook
the fam is worried and trying to keep bruce away from the people they're helping, and eventually there's the big fight with all 4 boys v bruce but it goes slightly different, and also damian isn't blindnly being ZEA's perfect robin this time around
the thing happens with jason being a distraction while selina does other shit and ZEA kidnaps and drugs jason. unclear how he escapes because i didn't want to mess with too many of the random ass characters i don't know
then there's the whole mess where didck goes to the safehouse and finds out what happened to jason, and my notes are confusing but basically its tim dick and damian as a team vs ZEA, and while ZEA cuffs damian to the parking meter (instead of tim) and throws the net on dick and tim, Bruce breaks through enough to throw the batarang to let them out before the police arrive
and then my notes leave off at the point where jason tries to save the little girl from the fire, and that might be as far as i read
idk if you weere expecting more or less of that lmao but there you go. as for bane sequel, as its being cowritten, i shan't say *zips lips*
Tell me about a funny time you had while writing a fic.
i barely remember most of my writing processes fr but let's see
i mean there was the time our basement flooded over LITERAL CHRISTMAS EVE bc a pipe froze and broke while i was writing "A Christmas Carol."
OH ALSO
theres this really short not that good fic called "in the burning heat" or smt. and that was AN ASSIGNMENT FOR CLASS which was technically my trip to the omaha zoo, and i was damian and my mom was talia, and then i changed all the names and details from the assignement to the batfam, but i had like the fictional names in there, and SK wasn't in the class but she came in support when i had to read it aloud, and we were both there just actually dying as I read my dad's name (Batin, guess who he is in the fic)
Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WIPS.
Lockwood & Co fics:
Post Fittes House
Lucy and the reverse baby fever
Original works
When Fortune Smiles
Alyce Shovelbottom
House with 10 children
Stories with Emeren
zero pressure tags! @lemonsharks, @waitingforthesunrise, @informedimagining, @ironyscleverer, @youareiron-andyouarestrong
untitled superhero fantasy thing + associated subdocuments like "look at misha not committing medical malpractice" "
Dreamwalker
Dreamwalker the quote on quote deleted scenes (not really a documented as much as its just headcannons on a proverbial conspiracy board)
The Room
The princess and the hellhound
BatDoc Brainrot
The Doc Doc
timeloopshenanigans for when SOMEONE decides to Come Back From Summer Camp (: (: (: -broskiu better not be stuck in a time loop
Dystopian thing
the queen of shadows and associated sub docs
The Problems of Being a Writer (this is a theater script that i did for school; kinda half-editing cuz I want to try and perform it buttttttt life things idk if i can persuade friends to do this)
I once trained a colony of ants in my backyard to respond to Morse code. It started as a joke—I’d tap out little messages on the ground with a pencil—but after a few weeks, they began reacting. Now, whenever I tap in the right rhythm, they march in synchronized zigzags like they’re taking orders from an invisible general. I try not to think too hard about what I've created.
once i decided to walk to the park barefoot and it was going hunky dory until i was too far from home to go back. i was determined to sit on the swing set and to get there there were acorns broken like shards themselves, and some shards of glass in the street, and bees that make their nests in the ground. i returned unscathed and with a new respect for battered acorns
I've never been able to comprehend why like 75% of teens&adults are so damn addicted and crazed about coffee/caffeine, I simply do not understand the constant hype and pressure around it
until i was twelve i used a separate utensil for every different foodstuff in my meals because i didn't want the taste to mix, and until i was eight i didn't know how to swallow food so i'd just chew my food until it was mush and went down naturally
Despite being totally unfit, I'm hypermobile. My favorite and easy feat is to bend my fingers all the way back so they touch the back of my hand and watch as people scream and cry (canon)
*That* scene in Six Hundred Strike is not about vengeance, it's about vulnerability ... because the Vengeance saga isn't about vengeance
To think all of this started because I was trying to determine why it feels so natural to read intimacy into the torture scene in Six Hundred Strike ... See, I'm personally not someone who reads an angle like this into things easily, but this time I found myself doing it too. And I just needed to know why.
It just made no sense for a while, because if you look at it superficially, it shouldn't make sense; it's a freaking torture scene. But I don't know, somehow, I must have felt that there was something there ... and I think I figured it out.
See, the reason why it feels so natural to read intimacy into this scene is because ... it actually is incredibly intimate. Not in an actually sexual way, but more so in a, "Imagine you were suddenly able to read someone's mind, and they yours" kind of intimacy.
It's really easy to just assume Six Hundred Strike is literally about vengeance, but it isn't. Now, please stick with me for a bit because we are going on a bit of a tangent here, but I promise we'll get back to this eventually.
The tangent I want to explore first is (as you've probably seen in the title) that the whole Vengeance saga is, ironically, about the unnecessity of vengeance and how destructive grudges and resentment can be. Think about it:
In Not Sorry For Loving You, Odysseus lets Calypso rant and then walks away without confronting her or accusing her, even telling her what she wants to hear one last time. I already discussed why Odysseus is an incredibly non-judgmental, non-resentful person in my Monster essay, and here is another excellent example of that.
Charybdis (I'm skipping Dangerous because he doesn't encounter any enemies there) is the first "monster" enemy he leaves alive since Polyphemus (Scylla doesn't count because he still "kills" for the sake of getting past her, even if it's in the form of sacrificing his men.) While one might argue that he had no choice since Charybdis is virtually impossible to kill, I think placing this encounter here might be an intentional choice especially since it differs greatly from the way that Charybdis is in the Odyssey. There has to be reason behind this change.
In Get In The Water (my beloved 🫶) we are explicitly shown that Odysseus offers Poseidon (the god who killed his whole fleet and is responsible for most of his suffering) forgiveness. The reason Odysseus has to torture him in the first place is Poseidon's own refusal of this mercy—he's literally torturing Poseidon in order to make him finally release the grudge because he has proven that this is the only way to actually get through to him. It actually shows perfectly that Poseidon's own inability to release his resentment became his downfall in the end, disproving his own "ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves" motto as his own ruthlessness bit him in the a** this time, as I talked about in this post.
... And there is no resentment or vengeance in Six Hundred Strike either.
On one hand, it's easy to assume phrases like "For every comrade, every one of my friends, almost all of whom were slaughtered by your hand" or "How does it feel to be helpless? How does it feel to know pain?" indicate resentment, but ... not really.
We already know that Odysseus doesn't want vengeance, or he wouldn't have tried to lead from the heart one song earlier.
And then make yourself aware of something else: Not once during any of their encounters is Odysseus actually accusing or resenting Poseidon for anything.
"Almost all of whom were slaughtered by your hand" is an objective fact. It's just true. Someone vengeful may have said "I'll make you pay for all of those you slaughtered" or "All of their deaths are your fault" ... Odysseus just says, "for every comrade". He doesn't specify what he's doing for his comrades ... and it sure as hell isn't that he's (trying to) cause Poseidon pain or harm for them (which would be vengeance.)
For every comrade, he is fighting Poseidon, in order to finally reach his goal. For every comrade, he's doing everything that he has to do in order to get home, and in order to end this feud.
And then we get to the torture scene and it's ... actually so incredibly freaking intimate. Because it's not actually about vengeance, it's not about accusing Poseidon, or making him pay, or suffer more than necessary. If Odysseus were speaking from a genuine vengeance angle, he'd probably sound more like, "You killed my friends, now you pay for it. You did this to me and now it is your time to suffer." But he doesn't.
The torture scene in Six Hundred Strike is actually ... just another, much more extreme, repeat of Odysseus' lines from Get In The Water (my beloved 🫶): "Aren't you tired, Poseidon? It's been ten years, how long will this go? We're both hurting from losses, so why not leave this here and just go home?"
Odysseus tried saying it nicely ... now he's stabbing him with his own trident, hoping, practically begging, that he finally listens and accepts. Just lets them both go home.
And the thing is, this time, he isn't just saying "we're both hurting from losses" ... All you have to do is repeat to yourself Odysseus' entire monologue that he unleashes while he's stabbing him in a calmer, gentler tone and you'll see that what he is actually yelling out at Poseidon are all of the reasons why he is hurting. Sharing with him all of the pain that he probably hasn't shared with anyone ... ever.
"How does it feel to be helpless? How does it feel to know pain?" -> How does it feel to be vulnerable? I've felt vulnerable for so long without anyone to talk to or because no one truly understood me or what I'm going through.
"I watched my friends die in horror, crying as they were all slain. I heard their final moments, calling their captain in vain." -> This is why I am hurting. These are my losses.
"Look what you turned me into. Look what we've become." -> Look what I could be if I actually followed your lessons. Is this what you really want? Why can't you understand the harm that this is causing both of us?
"All of the pain that I've been through ... haven't I suffered enough?" -> Aren't you tired, Poseidon? It's been ten years, how long will this go? We're both hurting from losses, so why not leave this here and just go home?"
"You didn't stop when I begged you." -> I asked you to "Stop this, please" mere minutes ago. You didn't stop. That's why I'm doing this.
"(You) told me to close my heart. You said the world is dark. Didn't you say that ruthlessness is mercy?" -> I'm doing what you said you wanted me to do. Do you really want this? Do you really believe this? Can something like this really be mercy?
The first time I heard this, I firmly believed that Odysseus was actually crying during this part, and honestly, I believe that to this day. The canon visuals don't show us his face and I want to almost say that's intentional.
This whole scene is about vulnerability. Forced vulnerability, in a lot of ways, but raw, real vulnerability nonetheless.
This isn't just a torture scene; it's actually one of the most intimate scenes we've ever seen Odysseus share with anyone on screen. Seldom do we see him this honest in front of others (the vulnerable scene with Circe at the end of There Are Other Ways is the only other example I can think of.) Otherwise, all of his honest, raw songs are his solo songs (Monster, Just A Man, ...)
But here, Odysseus is essentially using the symbol of Poseidon's invulnerability—his trident—to force him into the most vulnerable position that he's probably been in centuries, if not ever ... and at the same time, he is being incredibly vulnerable himself. He's opening up to Poseidon in a kind of absolute way that we have actually never seen him open up to anyone.
... If that is not intimacy in its rawest, most painful, uncomfortable, and yet cathartic forms, I don't know what is.
As if that weren't sad enough... The saddest part about all of this is actually Poseidon's "Monster!" ... Because it tells us without a doubt that he is actually incapable of receiving or understanding those words from Get In The Water (my beloved 🫶). He is incapable of understanding vulnerability. All he can see is the "monstrous" act that accompanies it because that is something he knows and recognizes.
Although I believe, in the end, Odysseus did get through to him, and did get him to drop the grudge, I believe it happened on a kind of subconscious level rather than genuine acknowledgment or agreement. It's further proof of how Odysseus is capable of growth while Poseidon isn't (yet.)
Poseidon remains stuck in his ways, in his "ruthlessness" philosophy, because he isn't ready to acknowledge its flawed nature, essentially making it his own cage that prevents him from growing or moving forward. Meanwhile, Odysseus is walking away, walking ahead.
... Part of me almost wants to claim that he started begging Odysseus to stop so quickly not because of the physical pain, but because of his words. Because the vulnerability forced on him was hurting in a way that physical injuries, even from his own trident, never could. Because deep down, very deep down, he must've ... "felt" what Odysseus wanted him to understand and feel anyway.
Remember how I compared this type of intimacy to the sudden ability to read someone's mind before? I chose this analogy for a reason. What is intimacy if not using the very source of a god's invulnerability, essentially putting yourself into his divine shoes, doing what you know he would do to you ... in order to force him to connect to your mortal feelings and pains, even if he can still not truly understand them?
Here is where we see, for the first time, maybe ever, what even Odysseus and Athena couldn't do (yet), and the core reason why their partnership broke apart: a mortal and a divine genuinely understood each other's perspectives ... saw themselves in the other, even if only for a moment.
Given all that ... there is absolutely nothing I can say against kicking my feet and giggling excitedly over this scene.
Let's talk about "Monster" ... and one of Odysseus' criminally underrated traits: his lack of judgment.
I was re-listening to "Monster" the other day and it kind of just hit me... Overall, that song isn't my favorite (it's somewhere in B tier; the lyricism is great, and the part after "So if we must sail through dangerous oceans..." absolutely slaps, it's just not one that I go back to frequently.) But there are some things I genuinely adore about it because I adore the way it progresses Odysseus' character arc as clearly not a "corruption" and how this is conveyed through the way the song is set up and presented.
First of all, I simply have to yap about how Odysseus isn't justifying his foes' actions the way that I have seen some people falsely assume. He's describing what they did or do and essentially saying, "They aren't letting themselves be stopped by guilt from doing what they think they have to do, so why should I?"
Polyphemus doesn't overthink whether it's right or wrong to kill some people because they harmed him or his sheep.
Circe may deep down feel guilt but isn't letting that stop her from turning men into pigs to prevent any more harm from befalling her nymphs at their hands.
Poseidon isn't losing sleep over drowning a fleet because that is what gods do to retain their infamy and status.
Odysseus and the rest of his soldiers didn't use the Trojan horse tactic out of malice or bloodlust, but out of pragmatism. It was the most efficient way to win a war that would have only cost more lives on both sides if they hadn't ended it then and there.
You look at that and you may think, "That's all very fair, but that doesn't mean any of those actions are justified" ... and you'd be right. None of the actions above are actually right or justified.
But the thing about "Monster" that I love so much is that it's specifically NOT something like, "These people I've encountered are all evil and ruthless and they are right and justified in being that way; I'll be the same." It's actually, "These people I've encountered act with ruthlessness; it clearly aids them in achieving their goal, and they seem to have figured out how to not feel guilt over their actions. I want to reap those benefits too. So far, I've been acting with mercy, which seems to have disadvantaged me. If they can do it, I can and should do the same to level the playing field."
Odysseus isn't saying that their actions are right, wrong, or justified. He's simply exploring why these people act the way they do. And he does so entirely without judgment.
I'm not surprised about him not judging Circe; while she was still wrong since she went overboard and struck preemptively against people who were not guaranteed to ever cause harm, she was pretty much redeemed in the end and her point is the easiest out of these to understand.
But the rest? Polyphemus killed his best friend. Poseidon drowned his whole fleet. The Trojan horse? It never comes up anywhere else but since he mentions it here, I think it's safe to assume that Odysseus feels guilty for using a tactic such as this. And still... Odysseus talks about his foes' actions with understanding and an open mind. He acknowledges their points of view—all of them, even if none besides Circe ever acknowledged or understood his.
The only time we genuinely see Odysseus act out of resentment is when he tells Polyphemus his name... After that, he never shows anything of the sort ever again. If he ever held any resentment toward any of his foes, I feel like this is where he lets it go for good.
Hell, even Poseidon, whom he would have by far the most reasons to resent, Odysseus doesn't actually judge or resent. I wrote a whole mini-essay on why the Vengeance saga proves that Odysseus doesn't actually seek or want vengeance on Poseidon. One might argue that he sounded like he was avenging his crew in "Six Hundred Strike" but it's important to remember that he offered Poseidon forgiveness one song earlier. He didn't lead with vengeance or resentment, but he rekindled his anger when Poseidon rejected his mercy.
My point is that Odysseus doesn't judge or resent any of the people who attempt to stand between him and his home... which shows incredible character strength in and of itself. This occurs later, but he acts similarly toward Calypso in "Not Sorry for Loving You" as well.
This is such an underrated trait of his, especially considering it fits perfectly with EPIC's themes, which revolve around seeing every perspective and balancing between ruthlessness and mercy. Honestly, I don't think those themes would even work with a protagonist who isn't so open-minded.
Coming back to "Monster," as we've established, Odysseus doesn't pass judgment on his foes. Similarly, he isn't saying that his decision to embrace ruthlessness and "become" a Monster (read more to find out why I put that in quotation marks) or any of his future actions as this Monster are justified.
I genuinely despise it when people call his arc a "villain arc" or "corruption" because that's pretty much missing the entire point. He isn't actually becoming a monster, corrupting, or genuinely changing his personality—hence why I put those quotation marks earlier. He is deliberately choosing to embrace a certain ruthless way of acting, fully knowing that it is not actually right or justified. "So what if I'm the Monster?" is self-gaslighting. He knows it's not "so what?" But he's doing it anyway because he has seen this way of acting aiding his foes. He literally says, "I must become the Monster / And then we'll make it home." He is convinced that this is what he must become because he keeps being told this by everyone.
From the top, his values or person isn't actually being corrupted. He's not really internally changing. He's merely adapting a way of behaving because he thinks it's the only way he'll still get home, and only because of that. It's really f*cking sad actually. Especially because he is wrong; his not being ruthless is not actually the problem, as we find out later.
Genuinely, his monster act lasted exactly 3,5 songs; in the second half of "Mutiny" it's already all gone because he is so afraid for his crew and what they're about to do to themselves that he instinctively goes back to wanting to save them despite how they just led a mutiny, despite how they don't listen to him regarding the cows.
Odysseus' entire arc can be described as, "He tries out mercy, and it doesn't get him home. He tries out ruthlessness, and it doesn't get him home either. In order to get home, he needs to learn balance, in Hermes' words "Every trick in his domain"." And that is also, as I believe, the main theme of EPIC: Neither ruthlessness nor mercy by itself is the solution. Both have their place; one needs balance. Or: treat people as they ask to be treated.
Only by the time of the Vengeance saga does Odysseus seem to have finally figured this out, and that's where he genuinely starts succeeding.
So no, Odysseus is no longer "The Monster" by the time of the Vengeance saga, no matter how much the visuals in "Six Hundred Strike" try to convince us otherwise. But he isn't "Just a Man" either. Did anyone besides me notice how he stopped calling himself this or justifying his weak moments like that in "Monster" and how he doesn't go back to it even after dropping the monster act?
And here we have the perfect segway into an essay I haven't written yet that might answer the question, "If now he's not a man and not a monster, what is he then?"
Well, technically Odysseus told us himself that one time he acted out of resentment... "Neither man nor mythical." But that's an essay yet to be written... I'll get to it soon, and there we might answer what actually happened in "Six Hundred Strike" and why the line "If you dance with fate I know you'll enhance your state", that I see is mostly overlooked, matters so much more than we probably all think.
Until then, know that I am not actually the first one to address the "Neither man nor mythical" significance. Credit goes to @glisten-inthedark; coming across her post on this matter genuinely enhanced my understanding of what happened so much and I need all of you to read it because it's a truly brilliant conclusion. I'll write my own essay on this topic soon, I promise. But without that post, I would've probably not come to this realization for a long while.
Either way, we end this essay with words that I will never tire of repeating: Stop villainizing Odysseus, y'all. It's not cool, not only because it's undeserved but also because it pretty much shows that you have successfully missed the point and core theme of this musical.
... See you when we inspiration for another essay strikes me. In the meantime, have a brief introduction to what that essay will cover in meme form because I can.
Still thinking about EPIC because I just love how EPIC handles Ody’s guilt.
Now, I don’t think I need to deep dive on how Odysseus’ guilt drives him in Act I. We’ve been obsessing over that for ages lmao, but very briefly: He feels awful for killing the infant Astyanax, and tries to force Polites’ “Open Arms” philosophy in order to ease that guilt.
Then, in “Monster,” Odysseus grapples with how his guilt leads him to make mistakes, asking: “What if I’m the one who killed you / every time I caved to guilt?”
And the implication is that gives up his guilt, deciding he needed to be a monster who “threw that guilt away.” And yet.
He never does.
He never stops feeling guilty—not about what he does in Act I, and not about what he does in Act II. We see it in how he agonizes over Zeus’ impossible choice in “Thunder Bringer”; in “Love in Paradise” when he’s haunted by the ghosts of his loved ones. And it’s not like he’s unaware of what he’s doing—Odysseus knows he’s been trying to suppress his feelings, most of all guilt and remorse.
In “Six Hundred Strike,” Poseidon rhetorically asks “How will you sleep at night?” He wants to know how Odysseus is going to live with his guilt, if he even still feels guilt. Odysseus answers his rhetorical question literally, “Next to my wife.”
Which, not only is that just a raw line, but it also does give a rhetorical answer. Odysseus knows that he isn’t going to be okay, that the guilt will way him up inside for the rest of his days, but he also knows he can count on Penelope. That she will help him shoulder his burden.
And he’s prove right in “Would You Fall in Love with Me Again.”
Because, finally. After twenty years, Odysseus is home, safe and sound—and all at once the guilt hits him. The pain and regret over every decision he had to make comes crashing down the moment he no longer had to suppress it.
And he hates it; he hates himself for making those choices, even when there was no other way to get home.
So he tries to dehumanize himself once more—to convince Penelope and himself that he’s become some kind of remorseless monster. Because that’s how he coped with it last time. That’s how he survived “Monster.”
And Penelope sees right through his bullshit. She cuts through his guilt and self-loathing to tell him, in no uncertain terms, that he is still human; that he is loved. And in doing so, tells him that it’s okay to grieve, to feel that guilt and let it go. He’s suffered enough.
Actually going insane over all the melodic motifs in the Ithaca Saga because what do you mean "keep your head down, he's aiming for the torches" is sung the same way as "keep your friends close and your enemies closer", what do you mean Odysseus's name is sung in the danger motif the same way Polyphemus's was, what do you mean the danger motif plays when Penelope asks Odysseus to move the bed, what do you mean Athena's motif mixes with Legendary when Telemachus arrives, what do you mean an instrumental of Little Wolf plays when he fights the suitors, what do you MEAN-
