Stupid emotional obsessive little me

M, 25

[samreich]

agree to disagree zach

[mf-dooom]

[yetanothergreyjedi]

that is the face of a man worried he will be next

[ashtraythief]

Good news, he was not next! In fact, she accepted him as her mate, he learned the crane mating dance and now every year, he artificially inseminates her with crane semen to expand the very endangered crane population. True story.

[luulapants]

Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man's boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you're excited about it.

[whetstonefires]

crane husband.....

[roach-works]

this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.

[alex51324]

(WalWaPo makes you jump through like three separate hoops before you can read the article, so I will share some of the highlights:

Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980′s.  The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.  

As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.  

It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.  

Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, it’s pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.  

The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.

They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.   

Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.  

Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.  

Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent.  (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)  

It worked!  

Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because it’s unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.  

However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them.  (This would not work with real eggs because he can’t sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)

Chris accepts that he is pretty much married to this bird.  White-naped cranes live to be about 60, and they mate for life, so he knows he can’t retire while Walnut is alive.  (At the time of the article, Walnut was 36, and Chris 42.)  

[thesylverlining]

Legit cannot pick the funniest part of this

she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)

His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)

the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)

"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")

chris sits any potential human partners down, like "my love, you must understand before we wed,,, i am already... Attached" (camera drifts wistfully to the above photo) "Lady Walnut and I have an,, Understanding... the relationship is open, but very committed"

[anais-ninja-bitch]

just had to explain this post to my father bc he thought my stifled laughter was a signal of illness.

well done, everyone, good game. hit the showers.

[largishcat]

[eshlimoriarty]

[lazorsandparadox]

Not only is he 'married' to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes

[queersatanic]

the “this content has been removed for violating Tumblr’s Community Guidelines” notice really adds a lot of flavor to this post and somehow makes it MORE obscene than whatever that actually was

[worldheritageposts-official]

World Heritage Post

[kedreeva]

I regret being the bearer of bad news, but I thought it should be shared that Walnut passed away in January of this year (2024). There's a lot of mixed info about the lifespan of cranes (due to people misunderstanding what a median is...) but the average for most species I know of is 20-30 years (in the wild if nothing eats them/they don't die young), and 30-45 in captivity, with the oldest known white-naped crane having loved to be 46. Given that she was 42, this old gal did good, and I'm certain she will be missed by folks here.

[optimysticals]

Fly on forever Walnut Crane-Crowe

[meangirlnurse]

there’s a post on tumblr about like. if you could do something to bring people a little relief, why wouldn’t you do it? which has unironically informed my practice as a nursing student and patient care tech

[meangirlnurse]

i’m glad no one made any unpleasant comments on this post that might distract from the message because that would really suck

[anti-parent]

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

[anti-parent]

fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"

[revvethasmythh]

You have a lot of unresolved trauma, I feel like.

[synthellasart]

I had an ask for Cad and Jester and decided to put them together because Team Cleric is always so cute and amazing.

[aromanticduck]

Free service with ads: Well, if I'm not paying for it they have to foot the bill somehow.

Paid service with no ads: Well, if they're not funding it with ad revenue, they need to charge us something.

Paid service with ads: Well that's bullshit.

"We used to be a paid service without ads, but now we're putting ads in it! If you want the ad-free version you have to pay more for preeeeemium": Fuck you fuck you fuck you

[brofisting]

helpful tattoo reminder: they are technically Injuries so u have to eat a lot of calories drink a lot of water and sleep a lot after so your body can Heal The Injury

[brofisting]

another helpful tattoo reminder: the 24-48 hours after you get a tattoo your brain can not be trusted in regards to whether or not you should have gotten that tattoo, if you have somehow ruined your life, if it turned out ugly, etc. ignore that

[brofisting]

finally, while i am at it: always bring a candy bar and a sugary drink to your appointment for blood-sugar reasons (worst case scenario) or so you can have a treat (unilaterally applicable)

[brofisting]

this has been your friendly neighborhood haver of 19* tattoos (assorted sizes and placements)

*not totally sure here. bad at counting

[parasocialanxiety]

Can I just emphasize that not everyone reading this has yet encountered the information that injuries require food, hydration, and sleep? I think the way many people associate rest and injury is that you rest the injury itself to avoid making it worse, but overlook that the healing process itself requires rest regardless of if not-rest directly injures it further.

Also exercise is a form of controlled injury so that as your body heals it heals stronger. You also need food-hydration-rest for strength and cardiovascular improvements after exercise.

[grumpytuftedtitmouse]

Just got to Azune's breakdown in Convergence and it has not made me any more normal about him. What if you saw your sister for the first time in years, you got confirmation she was alive, and you got it by her taking a potentially-fatal shot for you. What if you looked in her eyes and saw that some vital part of herself was withered and gone, and despite that, she still loves you. What if, despite spending your life and pouring out your soul to do The Right Thing, you saw that it was eating you, maybe like life ate your sister. What if you were questioning everything about yourself, everything you've chosen to do, and suddenly you get a link to who you were Before dropped into your lap. And it's your sister that you love! And you don't remember all of your language or where your hometown is or where your people were from, but your sister was here just yesterday and she still loves you. And of course you still love her, you never stopped. You need to find her, this person who remembers who you were, where you're from, because you do not remember and you love her and maybe you can figure yourself out after all, maybe you can have a family after years of being alone, if you can just find her.

And then you have to go into mortal peril once again, for this cause you've altered yourself for over and over again, and you ask for what you need to come out alive. Maybe for the first time in a long time, you're a little selfish. You want to live (for your own sake, for the first time in how long?). Can't someone you need risk a little, too? And you're turned down and suddenly it's all too much, you can't handle it, you're always strong because you need to be, and you can't help breaking down but maybe if you do it right, if you find just the right way to express what you're feeling, you'll get what you need.

And then you do get what you need. And maybe you'll have a chance to find your sister (find yourself).

[skoople]

another heavy handed symbolism moment: my mom has a potted sunflower in the kitchen. because it is a sunflower, it keeps turning towards the light from the window. my mother keeps rotating it so it faces inward because she wants "to see its beautiful petals and have it really brighten up the space!" . the sunflower is visibly wilting .

[imperialinquisition]

are you going to tell her or

[skoople]

her masters degree is in biology

[parkchanwoohoo]

[catrocketship]

[sevensmallsphinxes]

Sphinx employee slash bodega cat that blocks the door and asks riddles, the owner has the answer of the day on a paper taped to the door.

it never notices.

[sevensmallsphinxes]

important addition from a friend:

everyone thinks REALLY hard and regulars makes two bad guesses so it feels like it's doing a good job

[tastefullyoffensive]

by Chiliktol

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

I love that this captures the exact feeling of chess.

[what-a-bastard]

Accepting identities I don't understand is actually extremely easy because I just go "this isn't about me" and move on with my life unbothered by someone else's identity, it's truly that simple.

[eevee-on-keyboard]

i heard someone say once, “you don’t need to speak French to acknowledge that it’s a language that exists”. and i feel like more ppl need to keep that in mind when they come across something they don’t understand.

[autie-j]

Remember when Xbox was going to basically ban used games for the xbox one, and Playstation made fun of them with that video titled "how to share games on Playstation" and it was just one guy handing another a game disk? And now Playstation is getting rid of physical disks entirely

[larken-the-skies]

It’s like they expect us to just forget their original marketing schemes in favor of more and more money grabs.

[3000s]

when i go somewhere on friday people are always like "have a nice weekend" but i work weekends and this is my sunday

sorry i cant get the hi off of my skeleton right now

[magiconic]

Don't worry I covered up the "HI" so no one can read it

[3000s]

thank you, much better