this post has the most notes out of any of my posts, largely because there's an addition going around with a flow-chart that other people seem to find useful (which is fine) but that I hate with an intensity that is more powerful than the sun is hot. for obvious reasons, the flow-chart was created divorced from the disabled context, because the creator of that flow-chart had evidently not seen my original tags on the post. which again, is fine. but here I am, providing some disabled context. I made this post when I was first coming to terms with the fact that my disabilities are energy-limiting, and that I was going to have to cut back on what I spent my days doing. it had been about a year since my autism diagnosis, and about four years since I first developed chronic fatigue, and I was still finding myself unable to figure out what I Needed to do and what was just me holding myself to abled standards. that is absolutely a challenge that I still don't have an answer to, and I'm not sure I ever will
with that context, I would like to provide some unsolicited advice to my fellow disabled people (particularly newly disabled people):
if it's something you absolutely have to do, as in there will be worse consequences for not doing the thing than doing it, try learning strategies for doing it disabledly. chop your vegetables sitting down. buy a tray to prevent spillage when you eat in bed. do your cleaning in 2 minute slots instead of all at once. you don't need permission to deviate from the Normal Way Of Things
corollary to the first point: if there are no (or very small) consequences for not doing the thing, and you don't want to do it, just don't. it's literally fine. I vacuum once in a blue moon and the lord is yet to come down and smite me for it
get okay with half-assing things. or even quarter-assing. or one eighth. etc etc. if something needs to be done, it can be done poorly. the world is not going to end if you get things done shittily (within reason, and within the bounds of what is physically safe)
learn to treat your body like a valuable source of data. try and pay attention to the signals it gives you, and the trends in when those signals arise. don't push yourself for the sake of it. they don't hand out medals for Most Energy Expended Doing The Task, and they never will. if your body is telling you to sit down, do that.
for the love of god learn how to ask for help, unlearn the shame of needing help, and figure out how to accept help without beating yourself up about it. independence is not inherently a virtue and you don't have to struggle alone
okay <3 remember that you're allowed to give up forever and always. peace and love on planet disability
