i am a human disaster @soyboydom - Tumblr Blog

are you going through it emotionally? plagued by eternal regret? remember: you can always do something drastic to your hair!

to be clear this will not solve any of your problems but it will give you something different to regret. for a little variety.

thememedaddy

squigglebug

I know this has been said so many times in so many words but it is never any less infuriating that we never seem to have basic social services money but we always have fucking war crime money

squigglebug

fucking evergreen post I guess

autumnhobbit

finally decided to sit down and watch the incredibles again. there will be no commentary because i’m gonna be too busy watching it

autumnhobbit

okay i just gotta say

having been married for 3 years now (almost), i really love how bob & helen argue. when i was a kid it just came off to me that everyone in this movie was being super mean for no reason but when you watch it as an adult it’s different. i really appreciate that even when bob is frustrated/angry he basically never lashes out at helen or the kids, his problem is he’s withdrawn and existantialling. i also really appreciate that when they do fight they’re actually more expressing their frustration than attacking each other. it’s only later when things get real that helen (understandably) gets really angry.

autumnhobbit

also edna’s advice is actually really good, helen’s just melting down over the idea of losing her husband (which is sweet and helps us understand her character) but edna tells her to confront it immediately, hold bob to account by leaning into his concern (all his heroics being forgotten) and reminding him that she’s a super, too. direct action is a blessing in communication.

autumnhobbit

i love how the movie communicates bob’s competency, like he’s actually handling all the twists and turns of the situation rapidly deteriorating very well, the only thing that throws him off is when his family gets involved. we also see helen’s competency in the plane scene and how she immediately knows something’s up when no one responds on the radio

autumnhobbit

syndrome is such a fucking good villain, saying ‘i seem to recall you prefer to work alone’ and laughing at him when he believes he’s murdered the guy’s wife and kids???? holy fuck

as previously mentioned bob breaking down and sobbing alone in the containment room shaped my personality

autumnhobbit

ah the good old days of 2004 when having a voluptuous mom ass was a bad thing. good riddance, we don’t miss you.

also the it’s a neat little parallel to bob’s body image struggles, they really went to great lengths to showcase that these people are equals & soulmates

autumnhobbit

the kids are really well-written too, they feel very authentically their age and they both have motivations, the writing does a great job of showing how the gravity of the situation sinks in for them and forces them to rise to meet it. dash especially fascinates me in this movie because he’s just the right balance between immature and starting, just starting to get that life is a big deal and stakes are real and you’ve got to care about what you’re doing and try to do the right thing in every situation. the way the kids instinctively protect each other even though all we’ve seen of them so far in the movie is antagonism is just *clenches fist* so good

that-catholic-shinobi

The Incredibles is incredible on every level

ave-aria

I appreciate the "there will be no commentary because i’m gonna be too busy watching it" followed by 8 of the truest takes on the movie, respect.

dare-to-dm

There was this one time I scratched up my cornea real bad and had to go to the hospital. Dealing with medical bureaucracy is always very frustrating to me, and that combined with the pain had me in a very bad mood. I was even crying.

I had to wait quite a while for the doctor to see me, but fortunately the nurse who was helping me had an excellent bedside manner and went out of her way to distract me. She expertly did this by getting me talking about books I'd read recently.

I went all in on criticizing the last book I'd read. I don't remember what it was, but I really hadn't liked it, and I denigrated it as "Misery Porn". And she was like "Hmm, that sounds interesting, tell me more". So I gave a general plot synopsis. As I was telling her that most of the characters were immigrant miners, she interrupted me to say "That's interesting, I didn't realize that there were mines in Missouri".

And at that moment time stopped for me and I realized that the entire time I'd been talking about the book, she'd been assuming I was talking about porn set in Missouri. I had just assumed that she had understood from context that when I said "Misery Porn", I meant "A story that is gratuitously depressing so that readers will think it's deeper than it really is".

Rather than being disappointed in our miscommunication, I was instead impressed with the level on non judgement she was showing me. Having a whole ass cheerful conversation about Missouri themed porn just to help a patient. I think about her all the time.

coyotebuegwater-deactivated2016

helltitty

australian mutuals what are they saying

eggzaki

josh wants to steal it and use it to deal speed

helltitty

josh is making wise business moves and i respect him

dark-magician-girl-meets-world

Every morning, I put on my thinking cap and my smartiepants. Unfortunately, there is no shirt that properly proclaims my intellectual abilities, so I have to go tits out

sonpat-rides-again

ihavenocluewhatiwanttobecalled

Can someone who understands psychology explain why this makes someone "rude"?

alex51324

Phatic discourse, a subset of affiliative signaling.

When Co-workers do things like ask about weekend plans, chat about non-work topics, eat lunch in the same room, they are--subconsciously--reaffirming that they are part of a cooperative (or, minimally, non-antagonistic) social group.

The other primates cement social bonds by grooming each other; we do it by making small talk.

If they solicit your participation in these rituals, and you repeatedly refuse those bids, you are marking yourself out as, at best, an outsider to the group, and thus potentially antagonistic.

This is all happening on the monkey-brain level; they have no idea what they're doing or how they are interpreting your response, so there's no way to clear up the misunderstanding.

To the ape sleeping in your co-worker's DNA, either you are part of the grooming circle, or you are an outsider who, for all it knows, may be coming to steal all the bananas.

Even if you would prefer not to socialize with your co-workers, it's generally worth it to set aside 5 minutes a couple times a week for phatic communication. You don't have to answer your co-workers' affiliative signals every time, but it's less trouble in the long run if you respond to a few of them.

punkrorschach

if you are the type of person who really just wants to be left alone to do their work in quiet: it is actually easier to achieve this as part of the in-group. when you enter a new space, in this case, a job, make it your GOAL to make everyone Know Who You Are. introduce yourself to everyone you meet. literally everyone. "hi I'm Jack I'm New." this helps burst the awkward bubble. you are now one of the monkeys.

at some point, either in response to an invitation, or just in the natural course of conversation, you can add in that you are a "quiet type" who "needs their silence" or what have you. customize to your personal needs. i find it helpful to imagine a well dressed elderly woman describing the sort of peace she needs to manifest.

roughly once a week if you see a group of people chatting, engage with them. keep it pleasant. it can be superficial. word will travel that you are Nice and Quiet and Not The Chatty Type protecting you from group lunches etc. if you have an office with a door that you keep closed a lot, putting up any kind of decor will also send positive signals.

humans are monkeys! for better or worse!

tlbodine

Pro tip: try to make a note (write it down if you have to) about some inconsequential thing that your coworker mentions so you can ask about it later. Kids and pets are great for This. As are hobbies. One guy in my office zoom called in from his house and I saw he had an arcade game in his office so I asked him about it later and he lit up like a Christmas tree. Another coworker has a pet pig and I ask every couple months how the pig is doing. This is a great strategy for pivoting conversation away from you and will make them think you are the friendliest monkey in the pod.

queeranarchism

The grooming circle also serves a very practical purpose. Getting to know each other - even superficially but regularly - makes people more likely to feel comfortable asking for something they need, more likely to say yes, and more likely to trust each other with sensitive information. All of this makes people better fellow human beings to each other.

It means my coworker is more likely to feel safe enough to tell me "Can you take over my shift tomorrow?" and I'm more likely to say "yes" even when I don't want to, because I care about his well being and he also takes over shifts for me when he doesn't want to.

It means my coworker is more likely to ask me for help if they experience sexual harassment at work, or if they think they're being underpaid, or if they're actually very lonely and need someone, anyone, to go to their Mom's funeral with them.

And maybe this ritual of trust-building feels unnecessary to you. Maybe you would do all these things for random strangers, but your coworkers won't know that unless they get to know you a little, so they won't know that they can ask you for help.

queeranarchism

#take part in the grooming. become one of the ingroup. band together to demand more bananas from your zookeeper aka your boss#monkey together strong or something

YES. Unionize your monkey grooming circle.

transcyberism

also, if your fellow monkeys are anxious you might steal their bananas? give them bananas instead. i.e., bring food to work. baked goods work great. they can be store bought; you don't need to go to a lot of effort. bring a box of grocery store brownies or whatever to work every so often and people will LOVE you for literally zero effort. everyone loves the coworker who gives them free food.

dathen

Adding onto this for the folks with anxiety: It’s so much easier to adapt if you put yourself in their place for a second. Imagine being rejected every time you interact with someone, and they seem to take every opportunity to get away from you. Your anxiety instincts will be SCREAMING that they hate you. Now you’re stuck working with this person you’re convinced hates you—everything spirals into discomfort from there.

When you’re neurodivergent or have mental illnesses like anxiety, it’s easy to see everyone else as The Judger of your own innocent actions rather than realizing they’re also conscious of your judgment and approval.

hotcrossedfangs

shounenchild

my favorite part of this whole thing tbh

orcboxer

autism tests are so funny. I'm extremely literal most of the time, but people don't tell me that generally, so I'm inclined to answer disagree. because I'm taking the statement too literally

whitepeopletwitter

ignoranceishibiscus

my favorites from the tags

shyjusticewarrior

viralfrog

quasi-normalcy

Right down to all of your faculties being decrepit from relying on a sinister adviser.

headspace-hotel

thought about that quote "homosexuality exists in 1000+ species, homophobia only exists in one" but how awkward would it be if we discovered another species that was homophobic

"homosexuality exists in 1000+ species, homophobia only exists in two. what? oh, humans, and the yellow-patched cuboid pinecone wren that was recently discovered on an island off the coast of canada. they're fucking bigots"