Hey so.... I'm merging my sideblog with my main blog. So if you're seeing this you might wanna go refollow me at @spandexspangles Cheers, m'dears.

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@spandexandspangles
Hey so.... I'm merging my sideblog with my main blog. So if you're seeing this you might wanna go refollow me at @spandexspangles Cheers, m'dears.
The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.
how dare you say we piss on the poor
all hail the 1 million note Piss Post
Today I understood why Mr Bingley is important for 'Pride and Prejudice.' Of course I've heard that he's Mr Darcy's foil and he helps us see that Mr Darcy lacks manners. And probably we need him to see a man whose character trait is quickly deciding to leave a place and who might never come back, and who also - I don't know - can easily get under the influence of his friends.
And I have always seen him as a very insignificant side character, and I never understood why there was even a need for him; like why Jane Austen of all people would write such a lacking(?) side character. He is not really a commentary on something. He's just fickle.
And was there even a need for Mr Bingley & Jane's love story? They're basically 'love at first sight, destined for each other' and they look quite out of place among the other three couples -- Elizabeth and Mr Darcy, Lydia and Mr Wickham, Charlotte and Mr Collins -- that are all a commentary on love and society.
Today I understood that had there been no Mr Bingley Jane would've married Mr Collins out of obligation as the eldest sister and that would have been a very different book that didn't feel like such a happy story by the end of it (my Mom calls it a fairy tale), had only one of the sisters (Elizabeth) landed herself a love match.
Maybe I'm wrong, maybe there is an undercurrent to Jane's story that is about her being an angel and that their love with Mr Bingley is a dream that rarely comes true, I don't know. But still, apparently Mr Bingley is not as inconsequential a character as he has always seemed to be.
Sorry to highjack your post with an essay, but there's actually a common misconception here that I really want to breakdown.
One of the things that it isn't easy to notice these days is that Jane and Bingley actually are a commentary on love and society in exactly the same way the other couples are. It just isn't as obvious because the expectations and discussion over how people are meant to behave when in love has vastly changed in two-hundred years.
Jane exemplifies a common standard for young gentlewomen of that era: be demure (but never cold), friendly (but not too friendly), reserved about your true emotions (but always pleasing to everyone), appear grateful for every civil interaction a gentleman offers you (but never seeking or desperate for them), etc. She's beautiful, yes, and unfailingly kind, but her 'perfection' for contemporary readers would've gone far beyond that.
Because in many ways, Jane is the perfect gentlewoman. All those impossible virtues of good sense and perfect goodness and eternal gratitude and elegant grace are united in her. And in the Jane and Bingley love story Austen asks the question of how that behaviour, however generally admirable, can function in reality and then explores some of the drawbacks.
We actually see Charlotte allude to this directly in chapter 6. When Lizzy is happy that "Jane united, with great strength of feeling, a composure of temper and a uniform cheerfulness of manner which would guard her from the suspicions of the impertinent," Charlotte famously rebuts:
"It may perhaps be pleasant," replied Charlotte, "to be able to impose on the public in such a case; but it is sometimes a disadvantage to be so very guarded. If a woman conceals her affection with the same skill from the object of it, she may lose the opportunity of fixing him; and it will then be but poor consolation to believe the world equally in the dark. There is so much of gratitude or vanity in almost every attachment, that it is not safe to leave any to itself. We can allĀ beginĀ freelyāa slight preference is natural enough; but there are very few of us who have heart enough to be really in love without encouragement. In nine cases out of ten a women had better showĀ moreĀ affection than she feels. Bingley likes your sister undoubtedly; but he may never do more than like her, if she does not help him on."
This exchange isn't just iconic (and, in my opinion, a mark of Austen's genius for all it conveyed), it's a debate about society and its ideals vs the reality in practice. Since society has changed readers tend to see it purely as a commentary on Jane/ justification for why Darcy interpreted her the way he did/ foreshadowing for Charlotte's own choice, but it wasn't only that. It was calling out some downsides to women being perfectly composed at all times when the man they're in love with is a decent guy who cares about things like 'whether his affections are welcomed' and isn't so self-centred as to not have doubts over how someone who doesn't reveal much might actually feel. It's actually a testament to Bingley's character and general concern for others that he doesn't just assume that 'of course she likes me, she's polite and friendly to me,' when doubts are raised. You know who wouldn't have doubts? Arrogant and self-centred people whose priorities aren't others and think only about what they want. Though not directly said in the text, the Jane and Bingley temporary break-up does call into question whether behaving in this admirable way might actually push away the most considerate and thoughtful suitors.
And though I know modern readers are very prone to judging Bingley harshly for not returning quickly to Jane, keep in mind we live over two centuries later in a far more individual-focused society with different values. In the text Lizzy, who we all know has no qualms about being angry at others, ceases to be mad at Bingley almost as soon as she receives Darcy's explanation. He's not condemned by either her or the text for being persuaded that Jane was indifferent to him, and Lizzy actually comes to believe it's understandable.
I think another thing we've lost with the passage of time is just how bad the Bennets could be seen as. While Mr Bennet lives they're rich, top 0.2% rich for England in that era, and yet the daughters will have next to nothing for their class/upbringing and weren't taught many of the housekeeping/economic skills they'd need for a realistic future. I've talked more in depth about what they should have been saving according to contemporary accounts and done some maths here and here but the gist is they should've easily been six times as rich as they are. Let's not forget the lack of education too. I said it in one of those posts, and I'll say it again, if you knew a top 1% family who were constantly flirting with bankruptcy and 2/5 of their children were barely educated you wouldn't be wrong for thinking there were some serious problems in that family. Then there's the social vulgarity/silliness, but that translates much better to modern audiences so I won't go into that anymore than to say that decorum was a BIG DEAL back then and who you were 'connected with' could very literally affect your standing in society. Darcy and Bingley's sister's were snobbier about it than they should've been, but the core reasons for concern were actually valid. Even Lizzy very quickly saw the justice in Darcy's logic once presented with the facts so bluntly.
Bingley noticed these things, as everyone sensible did, but he's just too generous a person for that to matter enough to stop him from wanting to marry Jane. It was only being persuaded that she genuinely was indifferent to him that made him put aside his hopes.
We should also keep in mind that it wasn't just randoms who were doing the persuading, it was Bingley's best friend (who is used to believing himself an authority on others - a flaw he has to overcome in the course of the novel) and his sisters (whom everyone considered close friends of Jane and who would've seen her more than Bingley). Their motives were jaded by prejudice but for many contemporary readers these would've been the most reliable advisors anyone could have in matters like this.
Given the delicacy of the subject it's not like he could directly ask Jane herself until the actual proposal, or even begin acting more markedly and hope she responds in kind (the impropriety of which is similar to what we see with Marianna and Willoughby in Sense and Sensibility). Even when Lizzy knows Bingley liked Jane, knows that Jane still feels the same and suspecting that he does too, she doesn't so much as think about giving him a hint when she sees him again in Derbyshire. It simply wouldn't be proper, it's up to his intimates to speak with him about it. So, if Bingley wanted an outside opinion Darcy and his sisters were it; and, on paper, they're very good advisors on the topic of whether Jane liked him.
In most situations it would be a massive character flaw to think 'I don't care what all my closest family/friends/her friends say, I'm going to persist in thinking this girl likes me against their advice.' Keep in mind they knew each other for six weeks and he's never even been alone with Jane. His sisters have though. There's also a commentary in there on the moral pitfalls of influencing someone at all (which is explored in far more depth in Persuasion) but Bingley is never called wrong by the text or characters for not jumping to the assumption that his friend's being an arrogant snob and his sisters are bitchy snobs. A rich man who recognises he can be wrong is a good quality even today, and if we think in contemporary terms (and remember he's only 22) I don't think it's at all unreasonable that he was persuaded.
Which brings us to his whole personality: Bingley is in many ways a perfect gentleman socially. Charming and civil to everyone, uniformly good-tempered, and other than offending one or two young ladies by not asking them to dance, commits no social sins. He's also praised for being friendly and obliging - the latter being another trait which, as Jane Austen does with Jane's praised traits, gets explored via its weaknesses. Arguably the novel is one long exploration of the weaknesses of various traits, most notably those in its title, but this is already too long for that tangent.
Bingley's also very new money. Outright called the first gentleman (remembering that that word meant something very specific about education, dress, behaviour, poise, etc in that era compared to today) of his family, and his father was in trade. In a time where the middle merchant class was still establishing itself as worthy of being treated with respect by their 'betters' (and the mere fact of Darcy's close friendship with Bingley is the first clue that he's not as arrogant and snobby as Lizzy believes) his perfect upholding of an amiable ideal is a commentary in itself. Especially when we see Lady Catherine and Darcy, with their impeccable bloodlines, commit social faults arguably equal/worse to Mrs Bennet (herself not born into the gentry class and a negative example of social mobility to contrast Bingley's positive example) and Mr Collins. The highborn character who does embody appropriate social graces, Colonel Fitzwilliam, is interestingly not landed himself and needs an occupation.
Modern readers, without such a class based society which focused on social graces, are also less understanding of that 'obliging' aspect of Bingley's personality. But this was a time when, generally speaking, the richer and more important you are the more likely you are to get what you want and everyone else fell into line. It was so common that it wasn't even really critiqued heavily by Austen, some people were rich and had the means to do as they wished through money or social credit, and others followed if they wanted to be involved at all. We see this casually mentioned when Colonel Fitzwilliam says "I am at [Darcy's] disposal. He arranges the business just as he pleases;" which also helps us understand that the Colonel probably didn't have the income to own his own carriage or easily rent one to travel (which was EXPENSIVE). That context, of rich men not only ruling the world but also getting to decide what other people (in the Darcy/Colonel Fitzwilliam case, even older and higher-born people - and Bingley was younger and new to the gentry) do in their leisure time through virtue of their wealth, is the context we need to view Bingley in. Though Darcy was undoubtedly more important Bingley was still 2-2.5x richer than Mr Bennet and thus everyone else in the neighbourhood excepting his friend - and yet far from being the standard rich man who began dictating the social scene and choosing what to do without consideration for others, he was obliging. He matched what others were doing, had consideration for them, participated as though grateful to be invited instead of entitled to it. His obliging nature is part of what sets him up as a true gentleman and far more worthy than others who only adopt some of the social graces and miss how it's meant to apply to their whole character.
His personality is actually a very interesting study in what makes a gentleman a gentleman, and argues that the real qualities which matter have nothing at all to do with connections or family history. It's also an analysis of what obliging personalities can fall victim to, even when they're sensible, as Bingley is said to be. His whole character ties in directly (as does Wickham's more overtly) with Darcy and Lizzy's own journeys with true gentlemanlike behaviour and character. It's just not in a way which is at all easily noticeable to modern eyes without a background understanding of the society he functioned in, nor is it something directly depicted in the adaptions.
Anyway, sorry for the hastily typed essay and I hope I've convinced you that Bingley and Jane are an exploration of love and society just as the other couples are, and also a rather pointed social commentary on behavioural standards and changing class lines through social mobility. For all that Jane Austen's writing feels comforting and sometimes quite verbose, she actually fit an immense amount of commentary and meaning into every aspect of her books. Jane and Bingley are absolutely no different.
I love a good hijacking of a post, especially when it's as thoughtful and grounded in historical knowledge as this one is.
does anyone hve any sin recommendations i just fell from the garden of eden five seconds ago
Sodomy
Sodomy
Sodomy
Weed then sodomy
i cannot recommend wearing fabric of mixed materials enough
Untitled, 2024, (Tesla Model 3 crushed by replica Olmec Head), by Chavis MĆ”rmol. The Mexican artist created the work earlier year Ā āto satirize the Tesla brand and its creator.ā
Yes, I am a straight man. Yes, getting the shit beat out of me in an all-male mosh pit is an erotic experience for me. We exist
When I was in Norway at the Gojira show a guy in the pit grabbed me & said āopen your mouthā
And I did
He suspected (correctly) that I was dehydrated & was judging by the color of my tongue
But I fully heard āopen your mouthā & thought āwow this stranger is going to spit in my mouthā
And then, naturally, I thought āwell letās see where heās going with thisā
#life is a rich tapestry
Man found the stoplight cameras were activated during yellow lights and decided to cut the wires of it.
Florida Man: Chaotic evil. New York Man: Chaotic good.
Holy shit. Nah dude look up the entire story, itās INSANE.
The dude got arrested once before this for using a painterās extension rod to point the stoplight cameras into the sky instead of cutting the wires. He didnāt cut the wires until AFTER he got out after being arrested the first timeāwhich he did after posting facebook videos that prove that the stoplights are intentionally rigged to trick drivers into citationsāthe yellow lights at intersections with cameras only last THREE SECONDS, as opposed to the five seconds they last at other stoplights without cameras in the same county.
When he cut the camera cords, he reported his deeds to the news -himself,- and then politicians pressured the local police force into arresting him. The local police and sheriff deputies actually SUPPORT him for his actions because the lights have been killing innocent people! During his most recent arrest, one of the Sheriffās Deputies actually -offered to bail him out-. When he got home again after these incidents, there was a surveillance camera planted at his house BY THE GOVERNMENT to watch him! His reaction to being surveilled? He painted over the camera in Americaās flat out fucking ballsiestĀ āfuck youā to the gubmint Iāve ever heard of. And it gets EVEN CRAZIER. After painting over the camera, suddenly this guyāhis name is Stephen Ruth by the wayāstarted GETTING ATTEMPTS ON HIS LIFE. He reports that a car intentionally tried to hit him in a head-on collision, and after talking about the car to his neighbors, they confirmed that the car in question (Or at least, one that was visibly identical, its occupants included) had been staking out his house! Somebody was legitimately trying to MURDER HIM over his discovery and his actions!
As a final insult to injury, Ruth pointed out that the VAST majority of the cameras were found SPECIFICALLY in lower-to-middle-class neighborhoods. As well, the victims of these rigged stoplights tried to go to the local news station to talk about the deaths of their family members that occurred from the rigging. Aaaand⦠The local station,Ā āNews12ā³, never aired their interviews. Remember how I said that, after cutting the cables and calling the local news station, Ruth was arrested because of pressure from politicians? Get this: News12 is actually owned by CableVision, who PROVIDES INTERNET SERVICE TO THE CAMERAS.Ā Whereas mister Ruth was only trying to help people and save lives, heās been caught up in a full-blown fucking government conspiracy thatās out for his blood. This guy isnāt Robin Hood, he makes Robin Hood look like a -CHUMP-.
Here is a neat thing to think of forever: look at āmaximum room occupancyā signs ā they are everywhere in offices and hotels and restaurants and shops.
If you see one at or around 63, take a good, long look at how physically small the room is!
May this haunt you forever should you think āmy vote doesnāt matter. Even though I can vote, I wonāt.ā
Via
In 3 hours more people have reblogged this than will decide this House seat btw.
This is my district and I'm going to THROW UP this is so nerve-wracking.
froofie
Your trivet (?) under the bread looks like a panda.
celticjade13
Your stove under the bread is staring at me. š
Anonymous asked:
Sam. This is a man in a bread hat.
You guys slay me :D But it means I get to share a photo of one of my new trivets! For my birthday I asked for a few silicone trivets because Iāve been using elderly oven pads instead, so this not only got me some cool new trivets but I got to get rid of the gross old oven pads. Hereās a better photo of that one, which really did happen to look like a pair of eyes peering out from under the bread:Ā
I figured Iād throw it into the photo I wanted to share of the most perfectly shelled soft-boiled egg Iāve ever made. Look at that thing. Iām so proud. (The yolk was also perfectly jammy in the center, great for spreading on toast made with the bread from above.)Ā
[ID: Top, an image from an earlier post of a loaf of golden-brown bread in a loaf pan, sitting atop a trivet; only the edge of the trivet is visible, and it looks like a pair of eyes peeping out from under the pan. Bottom, an egg cup with a soft-boiled egg in it; the top of the eggshell has been removed in a nearly perfect round, and is hanging off the back as if itās on a hinge. Behind it, the full trive, revealed to be a series of decorative swirls, is visible on the cutting board.]
How in the everloving fuck did you get that shell off so perfectly???
I was going to sayĀ āI have no clue, lucky accidentā but I realized you probably meant how I kept the seam so precise, with no little jagged edges like you usually get if you use a knife or spoon.Ā
I manage that by using an āegg topperā (my family calls it The Doinger after the soft ādoing!ā it makes).Ā Itās a metal lid that fits over the top of the egg, with a long bar that has a spring inside of it. You pull up the top of the bar and it slams down the doinger on top of the egg, neatly breaking the shell. Thereās a video demo here, around 35 seconds in:Ā
Usually the top of the egg, including the interior white, comes off, but if you do it just right you can tip it so that it just pulls the shell off.Ā
Gasp! Witchcraft! That's flipping amazing.
froofie
Your trivet (?) under the bread looks like a panda.
celticjade13
Your stove under the bread is staring at me. š
Anonymous asked:
Sam. This is a man in a bread hat.
You guys slay me :D But it means I get to share a photo of one of my new trivets! For my birthday I asked for a few silicone trivets because Iāve been using elderly oven pads instead, so this not only got me some cool new trivets but I got to get rid of the gross old oven pads. Hereās a better photo of that one, which really did happen to look like a pair of eyes peering out from under the bread:Ā
I figured Iād throw it into the photo I wanted to share of the most perfectly shelled soft-boiled egg Iāve ever made. Look at that thing. Iām so proud. (The yolk was also perfectly jammy in the center, great for spreading on toast made with the bread from above.)Ā
[ID: Top, an image from an earlier post of a loaf of golden-brown bread in a loaf pan, sitting atop a trivet; only the edge of the trivet is visible, and it looks like a pair of eyes peeping out from under the pan. Bottom, an egg cup with a soft-boiled egg in it; the top of the eggshell has been removed in a nearly perfect round, and is hanging off the back as if itās on a hinge. Behind it, the full trive, revealed to be a series of decorative swirls, is visible on the cutting board.]
How in the everloving fuck did you get that shell off so perfectly???
I was going to sayĀ āI have no clue, lucky accidentā but I realized you probably meant how I kept the seam so precise, with no little jagged edges like you usually get if you use a knife or spoon.Ā
I manage that by using an āegg topperā (my family calls it The Doinger after the soft ādoing!ā it makes).Ā Itās a metal lid that fits over the top of the egg, with a long bar that has a spring inside of it. You pull up the top of the bar and it slams down the doinger on top of the egg, neatly breaking the shell. Thereās a video demo here, around 35 seconds in:Ā
Usually the top of the egg, including the interior white, comes off, but if you do it just right you can tip it so that it just pulls the shell off.Ā
Gasp! Witchcraft! That's flipping amazing.
In my geography, two landmasses can't be separate continents if they're touching at all so there are only 3 continents: Greater Africa, America (Big), and Antarctica. Australia lost their continent status b/c it's illegal to be a continent and a country at the same time.
There are two americas because of the Panama Canal, and Africa is disconnected from eurasia because of the Suez Canal. That makes 5.
Did the OP come to you without any additions organically or did you skip our conversation about how canals are an abomination in the eyes of God and don't count
There's only one continent, the human continent š§”
Love wins
what about the incontinent
This way of thinking could be described as incompetent
But to do so could be impertinent
But to not do so would render the commentator irrelevant
Why, I'll wrap them up in cellophant
Look Mr. Frodo-
memeception
WEāVE HIT TERMINAL MEME
@caesarianconfection
Iāve saidĀ āI hate thisā so many times on this website, and never actually meant it, becauseĀ āI hate thisā is just shorthand forĀ āthis is an example of a meme given a twist I wasnāt expecting with intent to surpriseā. Which is, in of itself, a meme on this site. God damn it.
But this⦠This is something else.
The rapidity of a memeās introduction to its zenith to its decline is so rapid that in ten years, youāll need a damn twenty-page manual to explain this. Itāll be as unfunny and hard to explain as jokes in Shakespeare plays, except even more inexplicable because fuck, at least Shakespeareās jokes are usually about anal or fucking your mother, good wholesome sex jokes we can all get behind.
For the love of fuck, how do you explain loss.jpg? How do you explain gun?
ā¦.I THOUGHT THIS WAS A YMCA REFERENCE
it is a YMCA reference - thatās one of the 6 memes being represented here
ok let me see if i can break this down easily. YMCA is the easiest place to start - the song itself has become a meme over time with people changing the lyrics to reference other pop cultural events. so YMCA is meme one (1)
this first lyric replacement (ātake the breadsticks and runā) is a reference to the tumblr meme āstuffing breadsticks into my purseā. i think everyone remembers that one so i wont bother to explain it. thatās meme two (2)
āman door hand hook car doorā is a meme of its own, a creepypasta from i dont remember when. it was a terrible stupid retelling of the genericĀ āstuck in a car while hook handed man tries to kill usā story so the stupid title caught on for memorability. that in and of itself is meme three (3)
āgunā is⦠yeah i dont know how to explain gun. long story short you add gun to the end of a phrase instead of what you expect the last word to be. its shock funny. its everywhere but its popular to add to āman door hand hook car doorā for.. some reason? gun is meme four (4)
and the thing is, this four meme combo is something thats gone around before. meme combos are, itself, a meme. which means taking this meme combo and mixing in another meme actually becomesĀ meme five (5)
which leaves us at loss.jpg. loss.jpg was a terrible bad comic supposed to be about some tragic event, but it was presented so poorly literally no one takes it seriously, and for some reason recreating the four-panel setup has become popular. so thats meme six (6)
(but i need to add that this is the greatest version of loss.jpg i think iāve ever seen. the initialĀ āyoung manā lines up with the guy bursting through the door, and the shock memeĀ āgunā matches the shock scene of the woman in the hospital and idk if OP even thought about that but it makes this just so much better)
I wasnāt going to reblog this, but @pagesofkennaās comprehensive meme-by-meme annotation is a thing of beauty and should be shared.
average tumblr post contains one meme, this post, which contains six, is an outlier and should not be counted
it might also just be a coincidence due to loss.jpgās format but the whole white minimalist four-panel setup is also suspiciously reminiscent of those early 2000ās rage comics
I was getting a political compass vibe too
tag urself im man door hand hook car gun
This works better than I thought it would.
This was in my senior project
Iām not sorry.
EIGHT MEME COMBO
FATALITY
We have officially created a new languageĀ
I just had to do it to em
THIS FUCKING THREAD IāM GONNA CRY
I LOST IT AND MAN DOOR HAND HOOK CAR GUN AND DIDNāT EXPECT MORE IāM SOBBING
M E M E T E N
W o w
You know I had to
I hope you know this is the most cursed addition to my post, and I love it
THIRTEEN!?
SOMEONE EDIT THIS FROM THE ORIGINAL PHOTO SAYING āthis one does not spark joyā TO THIS VERSION SAYING āthis one sparks joyā
well i added my contribution : )
whyā
IM SCREAMING
This is the most elaborate meme I have ever seen and damn am I concerned by how it makes sense.
āYouāre in your 30s, but you still understand all this meme stuff?ā āOh yeah, sure.ā āCan you explain it to me?ā āI absolutely fucking cannot.ā
One does not simply explain this
Edit:
Another freaking layer!!!
16 motherfucking layers
In the future someoneās going to ask me to explain this and Iām going to be at a loss.jpg for words
Memes are just modern dadaism
froofie
Your trivet (?) under the bread looks like a panda.
celticjade13
Your stove under the bread is staring at me. š
Anonymous asked:
Sam. This is a man in a bread hat.
You guys slay me :D But it means I get to share a photo of one of my new trivets! For my birthday I asked for a few silicone trivets because Iāve been using elderly oven pads instead, so this not only got me some cool new trivets but I got to get rid of the gross old oven pads. Hereās a better photo of that one, which really did happen to look like a pair of eyes peering out from under the bread:Ā
I figured Iād throw it into the photo I wanted to share of the most perfectly shelled soft-boiled egg Iāve ever made. Look at that thing. Iām so proud. (The yolk was also perfectly jammy in the center, great for spreading on toast made with the bread from above.)Ā
[ID: Top, an image from an earlier post of a loaf of golden-brown bread in a loaf pan, sitting atop a trivet; only the edge of the trivet is visible, and it looks like a pair of eyes peeping out from under the pan. Bottom, an egg cup with a soft-boiled egg in it; the top of the eggshell has been removed in a nearly perfect round, and is hanging off the back as if itās on a hinge. Behind it, the full trive, revealed to be a series of decorative swirls, is visible on the cutting board.]
How in the everloving fuck did you get that shell off so perfectly???
locusimperium:
A few years ago, when I was living in the housing co-op and looking for a quick cookie recipe, I came across a blog post for something calledĀ āNorwegian Christmas butter squares.ā Iād never found anything like it before: it created rich, buttery and chewy cookies, like a vastly superior version of the holiday sugar cookies Iād eaten growing up. About a year ago I went looking for the recipe again, and failed to find it. The blog had been taken down, and it sent me into momentary panic.Ā
Luckily, I remembered enough to find it on the Wayback Machine, and quickly copied it into a file that Iāve saved ever since. I probably make these cookies about once a month, and they last about five days around my voracious husband - theyāre fantastic with a cup of bitter coffee or tea. Iām skeptical that there is something distinctively Norwegian about these cookies, but they do seem like the perfect thing to eat on a cold day.Ā
Norwegian Christmas Butter Squares
1 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 egg 1 cup sugar 2 cups flour 1 tsp vanilla ½ tsp salt Turbinado/ Raw Sugar for dusting
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Chill a 9x13ā³ baking pan in the freezer. Do not grease the pan.
Using a mixer, blend the butter, egg, sugar, and salt together until it is creamy. Ā Add the flour and vanilla and mix using your hands until the mixture holds together in large clumps. If it seems overly soft, add a little extra flour.Ā
Using your hands, press the dough out onto the chilled and ungreased baking sheet until it is even and ¼ inch thick.  Dust the top of the cookies evenly with raw sugar.
Bake at 400 degrees until the edges turn a golden brown, about 12-15 minutes. Remove from the oven. Let cool for about five minutes before cutting the cooked dough into squares. Remove the squares from the warm pan using a spatula.
So I tried this recipe.
And it is GREAT.
It basically makes the platonic ideal of commercial sugar cookies, only in bar form. When I give them to people (which I do a lot, because this is one of those simple recipes where the results seem very impressive), I just tell them theyāre sugar cookie bars.
Life hack: add white chocolate chips and sea salt
I made these today for the equinox with sea salt caramel chips and they are simply amazing. Letās see how long they last with six people in the house!
Noting for later (as we need more butter for this, and probably wonāt do a grocery shopping till the weekend).
The OP version of this has become my go-to cookie for basically all things and I have a whole cohort of friends and colleagues who would murder each other to get them. Havenāt tried any add ons yet, since the base recipe is SO GOOD.
Iāve reblogged this before and Iām reblogging it again because Iām about to make it again tomorrow and I wanted to add my own tale of just how amazingly delicious it. it was SO incredibly simple to bake and with an extra dusting of brown sugar on top and served warm and soft they gift you with the taste of the nectar of the gods when paired with a small glass of milk. this image is from when I first made them a couple years ago:
GO. MAKE THESE !!!!
wheres seasons greasons
its that time of year again
It doesnāt have to be
its not optional
And this came up right after I learned @vancityreynolds has come running into our unmarketable embrace. Welcome to the hellsite, dipshit (affectionate).
If you canāt find a place on your blog for Patrick Stewart in a bathtub dressed like a lobster, then your blog probably doesnāt deserve such majesty anyway.
It has returned to my dash and I cannot fight the compulsion to reblogā¦
the patrick lobster appears only once in a thousand years, reblog for good luck