AAAAHHHHH

Bee | she/them | 28+ | married

[flyora]

yeah that's my emotional support sketching therapy

[ramslambsandwolves]

Shane shortly before waking Ilya up at the cottage: ‘Hmmmmm, I can’t trap him with a baby. wait let me google……okay i definitely can’t get pregnant. Hold on…..sea-horse dads?…..nevermind…..can i adopt a baby-trap?…………no I’d just have a kid……………………okay wait what if we like coached some kids? Like they wouldn’t be ours but like- we wouldn’t be able to break-up because of the kids. Am i fucking on drugs? What the fuck am i thinking……..wait………..like a team of kids but it’s like charity…………cause men leave their children all the time but it would be a really bad look to leave a charity……………….i can make a charity and it’ll have kids and we’ll help the kids……..and Ilya likes kids…………and he likes me………..and he’ll wanna stay with me forever….so he’ll be baby trapped AND we’ll be doing a good thing.* “Ilya wake up i have an idea.”

[frog43]

wha t if oregon trail was called wagon age: oregons

[naamahdarling]

This made me so angry the first time I saw it I’m reblogging it again.

[luxiethefool]

happy 10 years to wagon age oregons

[vulvalini]

[lesbianshepard]

honey is the only food product that never spoils. there are pots of honey that are over five thousand years old and still completely edible

[lesbianshepard]

i also want to point out we know it tastes the same even after thousands of years b/c archaeologists who discovered two thousand year old honey tasted it. presumably right after they looked at each other and went “what the hell here goes nothing”

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

[key--lime--pie]

I’m pretty sure they also identify human remains by taste. Archaeologists are straight up freaks.

[notaflippinmermaid]

No, no no… you identify bone from rock or other substances by touching it to your tongue. If it sticks, it’s bone. The taste itself has nothing to do with it. And most archaeologists won’t lick human bones if they know they’re human.

…and I realize that doesn’t actually do much to prove archaeologists aren’t freaks.

[midnightmindcave]

mai nam is jane and wen i dig i fynde some roks both smol and big i put my tung upon the stone for science yes i lik the bone

[dinosauriaawesome]

I’m sitting with a bunch of archaeologists and we just laughed so hard we CRIED we’re getting tshirts with this on them

[ufo-offical]

*flies past*

[specimenthings]

i downloaded every single GIF of lucky ducky because i love him

@desk-drawerr thank you for giving us this creature

he's lagging my tumblr so now he's you're guys problem too

i accidently added star walker but oh well he's a duck now

update: oh my god guys calm down 😭😭😭😭 check out my other posts i promise im cool

[homunculus-argument]

I've been fed, walked and watered and I've slept enough and been out of the internet and I'm doing crafts.

Why am I still angry.

[homunculus-argument]

I walked right into this one like a blind horse into a revolving door.

[apocalyptic-cake-deactivated202]

Listen up!

You see a post like this? Where OP might hurt/kill themselves? You hit that button that I circled

Hit that.

Click Suicide or Self-harm Concern

Yes.

Fill in the rest of it, and hit submit. The "content you reported" will fill itself in

Tumblr will follow up and help them.

Warning: this is only for mobile. If anyone knows how to do this for desktop, please add it!

This could SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE.

YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE NOT TO REBLOG THIS.

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF IT DOESN'T GO WITH YOUR BLOG'S THEME.

And yes, REBLOG. Liking does no shit at all. This isn't ig.

You reblog, people see it. You don't, people don't see it. This shit's that simple.

This could save someone's life. It's not a joke.

[gyrsaker365]

This isn’t some ‘oh yeah sure it could’.

This could legitimately do so.

Don’t you dare fucking scroll past.

[obscureoldguy]

This is good stuff to know!

[socxsuallycruel-deactivated2022]

please, please, please reblog. reblogging will take one second of your time. meanwhile it could save someone’s entire life.

[giuliafc]

please reblog!

[crescentwolf14]

Soo I have a blood kink... someone reported a post about it like this one time and I got a message from tumblr asking if I was okay and how to get help if I needed it. Was actually cool I didn't know it was a thing that tumblr would do and until now didn't know exactly why that had happened other than something with that post but not that they had this whole set up

[flavoracle]

Suicide prevention is important. It works. I have personally benefited from it.

But it only works if people know about it. So please consider passing along.

[slady-ao3]

I wasn't aware of this feature myself.

[illinicoise]

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

[spn-fandom-breathing-heavily]

not even risking that shit

[codyslipring-deactivated2015060]

scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button. 

[isamaegreenleaf]

Last comment same thing. Sorry to the next person who sees this. I just can’t risk it. I have things I need to do before my life becomes hell. Lol

[atasteoflee]

Omfggggggggg leave me alone

[lyinar]

A curse to break, to twist, to strike.

A fate unfair averted and redirected.

May all who love be freed from strife.

And may all billionaires now be affected.

May the Gods of old see it done.

May every reblog now curse those who refuse to see that humanity is one.

[totearup]

After they play together for a year or so it becomes common to talk about how Ilya and Shane are psychic about each other, always knowing where the other one is or whatever.

Harris gets the idea to have them do one of those "twin test" videos where they stand on opposite sides of a door and he has them hold up numbers, they both hold up a four, the spin in a circle, which they do in the same direction at the same speed, then stand on one leg, both picking the right. Then they're supposed to touch a body part, and both poke the ends of their noses, though Shane says, "Baby if you're grabbing your *beep* right now..." with a half smile, and Ilya cracks up because if this wasn't for the internet he definitely would have.

Anyway, they do everything nearly exactly in sync until Harris tells them to "make a silly face" and Shane just gives the camera an office stare while Ilya sticks his tongue fully out and crosses his eyes.

It definitely goes viral.

[puckwanger]

— dulce et decorum est pro patria mori

[haflacky]

Hollanov 💔

It was ordered as commission, but the customer deceived me, didn’t pay me for the second half and muted me, so PLEASE feel free to use this commission as you want, make prints, post it online (with credit), anything!

[cupcakesandhags]

okay but for sure baby shane on his first hockey team got to play on the ice during an intermission at a centaurs game in the 90s. he scored a goal and did a cute little celebration jump (and immediately lost his balance and fell on his butt). harris pulls the clip from somewhere deep in the centaurs archive. he makes an insta post after shane's first game with the cens and includes the video with a caption about tonight being shane hollander's second ever centaurs goal.

ilya just barely manages to keep himself from sobbing in delight at the video.

[shakespearesdaughters]

Franz Kafka diary

[urfavhatesterfs]

YOU hates terfs

[switchingtogeico]

[captainhaterade]

[stankpasta]

rb if u hates terfs

[official-pussy-posts-2]

Official ‘terfs get out of my house’ Post

[jewelcoatfish]

shane (a little tipsy) being cornered by a few fans at a bar one night and they ask him what’s the best thing about coming out, expecting him to say something motivating like self-expression and liberation and shane just goes

“i don’t know, probably that i can have ilya’s photos on my phone now :).”

and the whole of non bigot hockey twt just fucking crash out and montreal metros and crowell gets burned at the stake

[toapoet]

These tags are my fave

[darlingofdots]

they don't really use pet names when they're around other people but their teammates learn very quickly that there is ilya (positive) and ilya (negative) and rozanov (fuck yeah that was fucking gorgeous) and rozanov (if you do not shut the fuck up immediately i swear to fucking god) and shane (adoring) and shane (sad) and hollander (that's how you fucking do it!) and hollander (sit your fucking ass down or we will have a problem) and these distinctions are way more important to keep track of than the five times a month hollander calls cap "baby" and cap's face goes all sappy

[c24c24]

Ilya after an Ottawa vs Boston game “Sorry boys, I can’t go out tonight. The old ball and chain wants me home.”

“…You mean Hollzy?”

“First of all, Shane would never chain me down, he picks me up he is the wind beneath my wings. He is the light of my life my moon and my stars. He doesn’t bring me down, he raises me up. Don’t you dare ever fucking suggest that again. I meant Cliff Marlow. We’re cooking him dinner.”