steel artist

Fandom old Voracious reader Bucktommy endgame, even if only on AO3

[clytemnestraaa]

like it’s maybe going to sound odd but the fact that shane’s parents don’t realize he’s the horniest person alive is actually the crux of it. because it’s so clear that sex isn’t just sex to shane he is taking his entire strangled sense personhood and shoving it in the gay sex basket. it’s psychologically load bearing. it has eclipsed the basic concept of sexual desire and come to contain ALL libido and desire and want. like him being gay is almost inconsequential because it’s fine he can be gay in a bank of america pride float kind of way. but them not seeing shane as horny, not even in the way parents might typically assume their teenaged / young twenties son is horny, THAT is crazy and demonstrates that they don’t know shane at all. they bought the canadian teen heartthrob boy next door branding which they themselves designed. that’s Crazy.

[amarriageoftrueminds]

His mum in his hotel at 9 o'clock at night, his dad barging into his home without having gotten permission to come in first, as if the idea of Shane wanting/needing/deserving privacy anywhere simply never entered their minds. Is it any wonder Shane, a grown man, feels like he has to explain where he's going to Hayden, another grown man?

[commanderbabyboy]

@4me2knowandyou2wonder this about the runaways au mmmmm yummy tasty yummy

[sunsetandevningstar]

This reminds me of one of my most-interacted-with comments:

‘None of the people who question Shane’s attraction to Ilya know Shane well enough to accept that he *loves* his asshole/sassy persona as well as his softer side. Shane likes him *for* it, not *in spite* of it. But they all have also swallowed the media narrative of Shane as the clean-cut prude who would never say anything rude or even think it, and it’s hard for them to change their minds’

The fact that they have forgotten they invented this media persona *for* him is upsetting. It reminds me of how awful that scene where his mom says, ‘But you’re not a liar!’ and then carefully proceeds to not notice/overlook his reaction to this statement because it suits her to have him stay in the box they built for him.

No wonder he desperately tries to apologize for being unable to stay inside those lines—everything is all tangled up in a way that will make the dominoes fall if he admits to any of it. When Ilya suggests he doesn’t actually have to admit to who all he’s been sleeping with if he comes out to them, I don’t think that Shane feels that’s a realistic option—it’s all one thing at this point. Admitting to part of it will undo enough that the rest will have to come out too.

Fake it (till you make it) by penandinkprincess has a theme like this, if anyone wants a fic along these lines 😉

This also reminds me of my theory that part of Hayden’s asshole behaviour is that he will have to accept that he *didn’t* actually know Shane better than anyone else, and that there is a whole underlying layer of intense desire and basically a secret life he wasn’t welcomed into.

He really struggles with Ilya as a reality in Shane’s life in a way that doesn’t actually make a lot of sense, given the actual facts of the case.

[thebrainglitter]

rachel reid these discord screenshots… you’re a DUD.

like…

she’s getting awards for inclusion and “elevating underrepresented voices” btw, she’s fucking ridiculous.

even her editor was weirded the fuck out but i’m not supposed to think she hates shane?

like no wonder people hated shane before the show even aired when she was encouraging and enabling that shit with them at any and every opportunity she had. she switched up quick once shane got popular and people were giving her kudos for autistic rep she didn’t even write with purpose in the first place.

don’t get me started on her giving shane and ed to make him look selfish because he’s not focusing 100% on ilya’s problems and letting ilya and everyone else make fun of shane for his struggles and anxiety. she clearly sees shane’s fear of coming out as selfish which is crazy cause then she literally proves all of his fears right the moment he is outed.

like i don’t even know what to say anymore. suggesting that ilya should consider svetlana instead of shane AFTER watching the show too… like even she isn’t hollanov down in a GAY series SHE WROTE! is that not crazy?

[wtf-is-hockey]

Do you think that in TLG Ilya thinking that he “was more aware of hockey's flaws than Shane was" because "he'd been paying more attention to the darker side of his sport” was meant to paint Ilya as a unreliable narrator due to his depression, or an oversight on Rachel Reid’s part. I know ppl go back and forth on this?

No, he's not being an unreliable narrator. I've said this before, but neither Ilya nor Shane are unreliable narrators. That term refers to a specific and complicated narrative device that Reid is not attempting in these books, nor would she succeed if she did, because she is not a sophisticated enough writer to even be writing reliable narrators lmao.

It seems to me that majority of this fandom believes that an unreliable narrator is when the character has opinions and points of view and sometimes doesn't notice things, or worse, can be imagined to not be noticing things. I have seen this fandom justify absurd interpretations of the text by pointing out that the reason it's not present in the text could be because Shane/Ilya "is an unreliable narrator" and just didn't notice. That is not how it works.

If you want to write an unreliable narrator, you still need to find a way to make it indisputably clear that your narrator is unreliable, and virtually every instance of them being unreliable will be undeniable, because some other aspect of the narrative will be demonstrating that.

If Reid intended for Ilya's depression to be making his internal monologue unreliable in that moment, she would have needed to have done something to make it indisputably clear that was the case in that moment, or in surrounding moments. For example, she could have written that scene the exact same way and then when she switched to Shane's pov, had him thinking about, well, hockey's flaws, lmao. She could have had Shane voice something in that moment to demonstrate he knew about hockey flaws that directly contradicts what Ilya was thinking. She could have had Ilya verbalize his thought at some point that Shane is oblivious to hockey's flaws, and had Shane be offended and the two of them fight about it. There are many ways she could have revealed to us that Ilya's internal monologue was unreliable in that moment - but she doesn't ever do that.

But you know what she does do? She proves that Ilya's perception of him was accurate:

When Shane and Ilya go out with Fabian and Ryan, it's from Shane's pov, and when Fabian brings up Ryan retiring and his perception of hockey changing, Shane thinks that he "couldn't imagine hockey ever making him feel bad."

Now, this would have been a perfect opportunity to demonstrate to the reader that Shane actually is aware of hockey's flaws, so that we would understand that when Ilya assumes Shane doesn't know, we shouldn't believe him. But she didn't. She made it perfectly clear that Ilya's perception of Shane was accurate because Shane himself reiterates the belief.

And again, the way these books are written, it is clear that Reid isn't even attempting to do unreliable narrators. She rarely even attempts to show how these characters' own personal worldviews and life experiences shape their points of view, much less attempts to make them unreliable. She is constantly switching between limited and omniscient without meaning to because she is that incapable of conveying anything happening in these stories through these characters themselves. Her books are frequently obnoxiously straightforward in how reliable these internal monologues are, I can't emphasize that enough. So reliable in fact that the characters' own perceptions of themselves are often impossibly objective. Reid couldn't write an unreliable narrator if she tried. She does not even have a grasp on showing and not telling. If she tried to write an unreliable narrator her head would explode.

In my opinion, every single instance of the fandom debating whether or not a character was being "unreliable" in any given moment in these books, is them being unable to cope with the fact that Reid wrote something phenomenally stupid without realizing it. A fair amount of this fandom would rather twist and tangle every interpretation of every scene in these books into something nonsensical than admit Reid is just a seriously ignorant and shitty writer. They want her to be a genius and so they find ways to interpret the text to suggest she could be, but she's not.

[bitchy-ish]

i 100% believe that Ilya DOES NOT tolerate saying “im gonna kms” or “kys” and at boston he used to fine people for it, him and the team eventually got in the habit of saying HILARIOUS alternatives, like at some point someone does something to wrong cliff and cliff yells “I HOPE YOU GET TRADED TO MONTREAL” and it just spirals, it moves with him to ottawa and its so funny, the first time coach weibe hears Luca go “i just ran out of tape- im gonna melt all the ice on the rink” just sounding so so frustrated and serious, he LOSES it

Shane’s started doing it, he didnt even used to be like “im gonna kill myself” that often, maybe only as a joke to hayden, but he starts saying shit like that and hayden and jj pick it up and its just the funniest idea to me of Cliff and Hayden chirping each other and at some point hayden says “i hope you leave your house keys in your locker and dont realize til you get home” and cliff goes “well i hope your blinker light goes out” and it just happens to be a game where hayden is mic’d up and the fans go crazy for it

[twisasleep]

Nobody asked me too but I can’t sleep so these are all my favorite relationship reveal hollanov fics (as someone who lives in that tag)

Starting off strong: (also made this and realized I don’t explain the fic just my vague opinion on them but idk trust my judgement anyway)

where nobody knows you

This is the hollanov reveal fic. It was only finished in January and I’ve reread it about 8 times. I was rereading it before it was finished. I love Yuna and idk if my son was hiding a relationship from me for 8 years I’d fall into hysteria so I love the exploration of her reaction. I love that it’s about Yunas perspective on Shane’s relationship and not just his relationship with Ilya. It’s really beautiful ngl, I be crying.

Silver Lining (Golden Seams)

I genuinely cannot explain my obsession with this fic. It’s really great and it shows a realistic (crazy adjective to use) perspective on Shane’s view of Svetlana. Plus Svetlana clocks his shit and I live for that.

Worlds Worst Ally

Hayden Pike isn’t homophobic, just confused. Momentary angst but it’s Hayden pov so mostly just funny.

Miscommunications (Lead to Fallout)

This one was so funny. I love reading Hayden Pike reactions cause he’s kinda stupid.

I Like Jane For You

Another Hayden Pike reveal but he’s really funny and this one gave me so much secondhand embarrassment. It’s a whole series so look at that too!

Scott Hunter's Life-Changing Road Trip

This one is super cute and I highkey need more Scott Hunter + Hollanov content. But everyone was so supportive it was so cute

(omg speaking of of hunter + hollanov im looking for a fic where they slowly reveal their relationship like menaces to him and kip and drop the bomb on everyone at kingfisher—so specific I know) - update: found it Oh Captains, queer captains

Lily and Jane's Reddit Adventures

This whole series owns my soul. Ugh I love social media crack but it’s really deep too? Go read it!

Would You Believe

I have a really deep love for Scott and Shane in this, like their segment is short compared to the whole thing but it’s what made me bookmark. It’s very cutesy.

First Time WAG

The reveal actually isn’t a big part of this but I think the buildup is really funny. Also can we please give Shane and Ilya more friends to talk to.

Right Formula, Wrong Answer

More Hayden Pike reveals, more me falling out of my chair laughing.

hot mics and hotter rivalries

This fic is so good I’m 100% you’ve read it by now. I love a good crack reveal.

something you can fix

Less of a reveal and more of a forced outing, but there’s a reveal in there. I’m a really angsty girl ngl.

Maybe a Good Change?

This one is so good and such a good angsty reveal. And a fix-it! Another Hayden Pike reveal. If you guys can’t tell I really love friendship.

ways they didn't find out

It’s a series! But like a series of one-shots not a series series. Everything in it is so good, I laugh, I cry it’s beautiful. I’ve read all of these a bunch of times. My favorites: fuck the news, love and other drugs, Yuna Hollander fucks around and finds out, and Hayden and Ilya cuddle (not clickbait)

unknowingly knowing

This one technically isn’t a reveal. Just chaotic hockey player group chats with Lily and Jane. But it’s really sweet and really funny and wtf is Mitty/Connors and why do I love it?

And if you’ve made it this far down you must really like reveals and that’s great cause I’m looking for two! 1) Shane’s dad walks in while Ilya and Shane are on the phone (Shane’s hospitalized) and listens to Ilya rant in Russian while Shane is asleep and 2) one where Yuna calls “lily” for Shane (still hospitalized) and Shane starts instigating phone sex (he’s loopy and Ilya doesn’t know she’s there)

[shanerozanov]

shane & ilya by todoga_k on twitter!

[wtf-is-hockey]

If this is a space to complain about how TLG handled Shane and his justifiable fear around coming out, I absolutely despise the scene where Hayden comes over to tell them about the video being leaked. I hate that the center of that scene is Hayden, and that the arc of the scene is Shane and Ilya forgiving him because he didn’t mean any harm. I hate that there’s absolutely no comforting either of the main characters who were just outted, but especially Shane after that has been his main struggle through the whole book. It should’ve been a critical moment for Ilya to show up for him the way Shane had shown up for Ilya, but instead the focus is on /Hayden/! And I like Hayden! I don’t mind him being forgiven, but it shouldn’t have come /first/, and not at the expense of Shane and Ilya having a pivotal character moment. Enrages me to no end, thank you for taking my rant

This is actually what made tlg so painful for me, and what continues to make this fandom so insufferable to me.

Hayden's character, in and of itself, is useful for this story. Conceptually, a character like him should exist in this story, and in this environment specifically. I would have never liked Hayden as a character, but I could have loved his inclusion because it could have been useful. It could have been used to make a point.

The reason I fester and seethe over Hayden is because Reid included him and then instead of making the point she should have with him - a point about "nice guys" in the NHL who are just as misogynistic, just as homophobic, just as hateful as all the others - she proceeded to absolutely fucking BABY him.

She so thoroughly fucking babies him that one of the biggest plot points of the book, the part where the characters reach their lowest low, the part that should have been entirely about Shane and Ilya, should have been about their pain, the loss, their fear, and like you say, should have had Ilya showing up for Shane, becomes about poor wittle straight white side character Hayden who made an oopsie.

I have said it before, but I was physically shaking reading the outing scene. I have never been more enraged by a book in my life. It is unconscionably offensive writing to me. I can't believe anybody can like this book.

[sunsetandevningstar]

Can I just say that it seems extremely OOC to me for Shane Hollander, of all the detail-oriented, plan-obsessed people in the world, to somehow have bought a ring that doesn’t fit his fiancé?

This doesn’t make sense to me. This guy has obsessively planned every moment of his life and he didn’t think of this ahead of time?

Or is it meant to show that he was in such a hurry, and this was such a new thought for him, that he really hadn’t thought it through and planned every detail?

[sunsetandevningstar]

View this post on Instagram

I was absolutely delighted to find this in my Instagram feed this morning.

Probably this dates me, but I am cool with this dating me 😉

[berlynn-wohl]

Freeing Your Fic of Epithets: A Workshop

Not too long ago, I talked on my blog about how epithets (”the taller man,” “the younger man”) are not only bad, but completely unnecessary. I got a couple of responses that were, shall we say, a bit rich in sodium chloride. I was accused of not understanding that some people have to write scenes with two characters of the same gender. LOL well I’ve only written two hundred M/M fics, so yeah, I guess I wouldn’t know anything about those struggles XD I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Epithets are a non-solution to a non-problem. They are speed bumps in prose, forcing a reader to discern which character is being referred to – just for a fraction of a second, but long enough to be disruptive to the experience. Also, although I love that fan fiction is not bound to the standards of commercial fiction, I do think it’s telling that no professional author uses epithets, and any publisher or editor who receives a manuscript with epithets in them will tell the writer to remove the epithets and try again. Nevertheless, some people believe that epithets are a preferable alternative to using a character’s name or their pronoun “too much,” on the grounds that this can also be distracting. So I’ve decided to make this post, wherein I, with the help of two characters of the same gender, will show you some sentences that have epithets, and then demonstrate how and why the epithet is unnecessary.

“Bob shoved his hand down the back of Mike’s trousers, cupping the other man’s ass.”

“The other man” is not needed. Just use “his” instead. In the first half of the sentence, we made it clear who was shoving their hand down whose trousers, so in the second half of the sentence, the reader doesn’t need a “hint” about who’ll be doing the groping.

“Bob placed his hands on Mike’s thighs, which thrilled the taller man.”

Okay, I just had to stop reading, go to IMDb, and find out who is taller, the actor who plays Bob, or the actor who plays Mike. Turns out Mike is one inch taller. This could all have been avoided if the sentence had instead read, “It thrilled Mike to feel Bob’s hands on his thighs.”

“Mike heard a gasp from the brunette, the only sound he could muster.”

Super simple: “Bob gasped, the only sound he could muster.” In the original sentence, filtering the action through one of the character’s senses added nothing to the prose. If you wish to use a filter like this, try something a little more evocative instead, like “Bob gasped, the only sound he could muster, and it was music to Mike’s ears.”

“As Bob entered the taller man, the brunette cried out at being penetrated. The florist was worried that he had hurt the barista, but Mike assured the older man that everything was alright and he could keep moving.”

Is this an orgy? How many people are here right now? And why does it matter at this particular moment that one of them is a florist?

Perhaps the above example is a bit exaggerated. But watch as I re-tell this exact action, removing all epithets, without having to use names to an annoying degree: “The penetration was so intense, Mike couldn’t help but cry out. Bob froze, fearing he had proceeded too quickly. With a deep breath, Mike assured him that everything was alright, and to keep moving.” Hopefully, Mike and Bob have helped me convince you that, if you feel that you have a problem with using the characters’ names and pronouns too many times, epithets are not the solution. Instead, try changing up your sentence structure. Sometimes things can be simplified by breaking a more complex thought into two sentences. Alternately, sometimes a compound sentence will allow you to retain a continuity of action that eliminates the need for naming the characters over and over. But whatever the case, I always recommend erring on the side of using more pronouns. Once you’ve completed your first draft, give it a couple days (that is, forget the fic a little bit), then go back and re-read. If you have trouble discerning who is doing what to whom, then it might be a good idea to put the character’s name in instead of their pronoun. Names, like the word “said,” are pretty much invisible to the reader. Yes, you can use them too much, but it takes a quite a lot to notice the repetition. And if you believe that hating on epithets is just “the new trendy thing that’s in vogue right now,” I would like to refer you to this amazing post from 2004 about how epithets are bad. Here’s another, undated but from the LiveJournal era. Here’s an LJ post from 2007 about poor epithet choices that writers make. Here’s a Tumblr post from 2012 on the subject.  Also, this essay from 2015 from a professional writer. Happy writing, and feel free to message me if a particular sentence or paragraph is giving you trouble; I’d be glad to take a look at it. :)

[sandersstudies]

I feel like in the rush of “throw out etiquette who cares what fork you use or who gets introduced first” we actually lost a lot of social scripts that the younger generations are floundering without.

[sandersstudies]

A lot of tough situations where we now feel like we “don’t know what to do or say” had social scripts just a couple of generations ago and they might have been canned phrases or robotic actions but they could still be meant sincerely and unfortunately we haven’t replaced them with any more sincere or easier new script.

[beemovieerotica]

a lot of people are giving examples in the notes of things they just find annoying like not using headphones in public, but OP is talking about actual literal scripts of things to say in awkward situations

if you have a date or two with someone and you don't see a relationship developing? most millennials / gen Zers just end up ghosting. but a social script that might have been taught and rehearsed in the past could be:

"I really appreciated getting dinner with you the other night and I enjoyed your company, but I'm afraid I didn't feel a spark. I wish you the best, and hope you find that special someone!"

like it sounds kind of trite but it was at least something to say and it can still be meant with kind sincerity. it also communicates in 2 sentences that you don't want to see them romantically again, but there aren't any hard feelings about that. that's it!!! that's all it takes!!!

[misfit-toy-haven]

Another example is that at parties a lot of people talk about how awkward it is to mingle or talk to people they dont know. But at old timey parties that was traditionally the HOST'S job, and there was a specific scripted way of doing it that eased the process! The host would bring you in, introduce you and maybe even a little bit about you like what you did for a living, and then guide you to a group you could talk to. They didn't just let you in the door and then ditch you to fend for yourself in a sea of strangers. That would be unthinkable and no one would be surprised if a get-together like that wound up being awkward.

[demonprincex]

I still do the party-host thing and yall can, too! (Thanks Mad Men for teaching me a lot of outmoded social scripts... no really tho)

Remember things about your friends! Ask people about their weekends, hobbies, holidays, studies, and jobs! Listen for the concerns people have and what they are working on! Draw connections between one person and another to get the ball rolling. "Oh, Maura, you just got your first cat! You should talk to Felix, he used to work at a rescue. Felix, please tell Maura all the new-cat-guardian pointers."

"Bill, Sheila, Xan, this is my friend Kale. Kale is really into Star Trek, Bill you and them should talk about it!"

Orrr whatever! After you make the introduction and draw the connection you just float on into the next interaction with someone else at the function. Just listen, care about your friends, get our of your own head, and think of how you can bring other people together and you will feel 100% less awkward.

[3liza]

hi i am so excited about this post because i have posted this exact thing MANY times on here, often in the specific context of how formal etiquette is so useful for autistic people especially, but also for everyone. even if you come off a little bit formal, which you will sometimes, having Old School Manners (or just knowing what they are) for various common scenarios is like having a magic ticket that will just sail you through all kinds of social iinteractions, gatekeeping, social weirdness, and as is pointed out in the above posts about introducing people to each other, can make you into a really valuable and helpful person for an entire gathering or group of people.

i also want to point out that knowing what the polite thing to do in all situations makes you a lot more effective at being rude and obnoxious when the situation calls for it, which is also a valuable and necessary adult skill

[dailymanners]

#things to write#but also#things to do#I could certainly benefit from a manual...

If you're looking for a manual on these sorts of things; social etiquette, social scripts, how to handle difficult and/or awkward social situations, etc. then I highly recommend picking up any book by Miss Manners. Her books really are the gold standard for learning the types of skills this post is talking about. I should also mention that Miss Manners is witty and hilarious so her books are also fun to read.

The best book by Miss Manners to get started with would be Miss Manner's Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior. This one is probably the best starting point because it gives the best overview of all the basics.

If you're the type who likes to listen to podcasts, I recommend checking out "Were You Raised By Wolves?" and/or "Awesome Etiquette". Both are also great tools for learning the type of social skills this post is talking about. I'm personally a fan of "Were You Raised By Wolves?" because not only are they pretty funny and informative, they also bother to try to teach the underlying social intelligence behind various manners and social etiquette so that you can have the skills to solve social dilemmas on your own. However, "Awesome Etiquette" is also pretty fun and informative.

[dailymanners]

#long post#I feel like 'i dont do small talk nobody cares about the weather' had a negative impact on social interaction#I mean yeah sometimes small talk about nothing gets awkward. but often it leads to the most interesting conversations#just asking 'what kind of music do you listen to at the gym' or 'have you read any books lately' could be such a lovely subject#I'm sometimes socially awkward despite being a huge extrovert. that's why etiquette is such a great thing#if you don't know how to act around people just stick to the etiquette rules. if they have a problem with it they're not for me anyways

Sorry @darlingdear but I couldn't let this stay in the tags.

I say this as someone who is neurodivergent had grew up very socially awkward, but recently I find the "screw small talk, I wanna get to know the REAL you" attitude to be pretentious as well as a demonstration of a lack of boundaries.

But also, I think a lot of people who have this attitude don't actually really know what does qualify as small talk. The definition of small talk is any topic that's of no real consequence and includes topics like food, pets, sports, music, whatever show you're currently streaming, whatever book you're currently reading, and yes, the weather. A lot of people who have this "I hate small talk / I don't do small talk" attitude probably think it's only reciting a bunch of secret scripts about the weather, and don't realize how much they engage in small talk whenever they talk about their pets or their favorite foods or the really cool show they're watching right now.

Small talk is just about boundaries and getting to know someone *before* you move into more serious and personal topics. The older I get the more I learn you really can't just trust anyone with more serious and personal subjects. Small talk first is important to gauge if they're someone safe and trustworthy first before moving into more serious and personal subjects. If you really genuinely refuse to get to know someone before immediately discussing serious and personal subjects you may have an issue with boundaries and should consider working on that.

[littlehouseontheaerie]

Oh my god, so much the last point. All of them, but especially the last.

Small talk is a way of sounding out a person’s attitudes. It’s about finding out if they’re a rabid asshole or someone you want to spend more time with.

I had a professor who got angry at a group of (mostly women), from five countries, all of whom met yesterday, for talking about daytime TV. He basically insulted us and called us shallow.

Dude, we were figuring each other out with a safe topic! We were the best of friends three weeks later. We could broach harder topics because we understood each other’s boundaries better. If you immediately demand people bare their souls, you’re not likely to get them to be honest.

[roxanedrawing]

also it's always polite / a good idea to balance the conversation out between yourself and the other person. By which I mean, if they've asked you several questions, turn it around: "and what about you?" / "what has your experience been in [topic]?" I used to be too awkward to do it but noticed conversations would bleed to death. Then I overcompensated and only asked the other person question upon question. This was also Not Ideal because guys would end up thinking I was super interested in them and get confused when I shut off my interest / social battery later on. So, balance: I try to talk about 50% of the time and share something that is either useful or relatable to the other or important to me. And by being interested and asking real questions you can get to know someone better and they will also know you a little, which can be really lovely.

[dailymanners]

Due to me seeing this post again, I decided to start re-reading Miss Manners Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, and all I can say is, this is a book Tumblr is really sleeping on.

It's not just the fact that this book is perfect for those of us who are neurodivergent, who can really benefit from having a book which kindly and patiently bothers to explain social rules and norms that people just expect you to know without ever telling you themselves.

It's also the fact that, despite this book being nearly 45 years old, Miss Manners makes it clear in the preface and opening chapters that she is explicitly against classism, sexism, and homophobia. She also makes it explicitly clear in the preface that her personal belief in the importance of good manners and etiquette has nothing to do with a desire to return to "the good old days", because those days were not actually good for women, LGBTQ+ people, poor people, and people of color.

What really made me re-fall in love with Miss Manners though was right in the opening chapter she addresses using sexualized threats and insults to debase and degrade others (you know, like "get fcked", or "suck my genitals", or "yeah well that's not what your mom / sister / other female family member had to say last night") because if sex is something that's supposed to be good and pleasurable, why are we using it as a threat to debase and degrade others? Honestly I love her so much for calling out the inherent sex-negativity of using sexualized threats and insults like that, and nearly 45 years ago at that!

Miss Manners has never been a stuffy old fashioned fuddy-duddy. She has always been a deeply compassionate woman far ahead of her time, whose sole mission is to make the world a kinder and more considerate place.

[keeganditty]

I do have to wonder how anti small talk people engage in conversations. Like are you in line for the bathroom asking the guy in front of you "when did you first know your parents were fallible" and "what was your response to the first major death in your life"

[wtf-is-hockey]

I don't give a fuck that it was an accident. Hayden is a straight white man who has so little to fear, even as a public figure, that he doesn't even rewatch his fanmail recordings before sending them out. This is a man who has never once in his life had to worry about his career being destroyed by one candid photo. By one text sent to the wrong person. By one person overhearing him in the adjacent hotel room. Shane and Ilya have had to spend their lives in a state of hypervigilance. All of the most painful moments of their relationship are caused by them being unable to be together, and they would have realized how they felt for each other and gotten together much sooner if it weren't for queerphobia. Hayden married Jackie how long after meeting her again? And how was it, again, that they met? Was it in public? Did they get to dance together in public? And then I'm supposed to fucking feel sorry for him because his carelessness, which can only exist because of his immense privilege, destroyed his gay wasian best friend's career? I'm supposed to fucking feel sorry for him when it's because of him that Ilya will never see his mother's grave again? I'm supposed to feel sorry for Hayden? For Hayden? For Hayden? Oh my God. It disgusts me.

[wtf-is-hockey]

Shane and Ilya don't even keep pictures of each other on their phones. They don't have pictures of the love of their lives on their own fucking phones. They don't have pictures of the love of their lives on their own fucking phones on the extremely off chance either of their phones ever ended up in the wrong hands. Ilya has hung on to the photos he took of him and Shane together at the MVP awards for years because they're all he has. He cherishes them because they are all he can have. He took them to begin with because he thought he would never get to actually be with Shane, and if nothing else, he wanted a photo of them together, and if that was all he could have then he would take it. He wasn't even dreaming of more at the time. It was an impossibility he could be with Shane. A photo with him alone was more than he had hoped for and he hung on to it for years. For years. And I'm supposed to feel sorry for Hayden? Do you get it do you get it do you get it?

[tumblr]

Reblogs in a chain now get their own notes

The reblog chain is one of the things that makes Tumblr unlike anywhere else. All the notes on reblogs are attributed to the original post, no matter which branch people actually liked or reblogged. We want to keep encouraging conversations, and give contributors the recognition they deserve. 

Soon, you'll be able to like, reblog, or reply to any part of a reblog chain, and that note will go to that reblog's author. Each reblog will have its own counts, instead of one aggregated number from every version of the post. And yes, you’ll be able to like multiple posts in one chain.

If a reblog doesn't add anything, the love flows up to the last person in the chain who did. Your post doesn't lose notes just because people spread it quietly.

Past notes will stay on the original post — we're only changing what happens from here on out. Retroactively re-attributing all of them would be... a lot.

This is just the beginning. More changes are coming as we keep building this out – stay tuned!

[changes]

It’s very clear that you all have strong feelings about Tumblr and about this change. We hear you. The passion people have for how Tumblr works is one of the things that makes this place special.

As this rolls out over the next few days and you explore it, we’ll keep reading your replies and reblogs, so please keep sharing your questions, concerns, and ideas.

Your creativity has always been the heart of Tumblr, whether you’re the original poster or adding something brilliant in the reblogs, and nothing about this change is meant to limit that.

If you’d like to talk directly beyond the comments, leave a reply and we’ll follow up with as many of you as we can. We want to work with you to make Tumblr better.

[sunsetandevningstar]

This change reminds me of the infuriating iPhone updates. Like, why? You just need to be seen doing something? What practical purpose could demolishing the core trait of your own site have anyway? I haven’t seen a single actual reason given, let alone one that makes any sense. I’m glad this was rolled back, but @staff your posts have a threatening tone I’m not enjoying which implies that this is not the end of this stupid plan.

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[eggbasket2481]

Reversal

Russians do not blush. Russians do not get sick. Ilya gets concussions. He gets stitches. He skates on cracked ribs and calls it fine. He does not get sick. Which is why, when he wakes up at three in the morning in the middle of June, shaking so hard his teeth knock together, his first instinct is irritation.

Shane is going to top. In fact he needs to top. Here is my argument as to why before you click out of this fic. First: yes, the bubble butt attached to that Russian man is significant. We will not pretend otherwise. That mf was built like a Renaissance sculpture and I refuse to ignore canon. However…this fic isn’t just about anatomy. It’s about power, identity, and what masculinity has done to Ilya his entire life. Secondly: This brings us to the real point. In conservative Russian spaces, being gay isn’t framed primarily as a sin the way it often is in Western evangelical rhetoric. It’s framed as weakness. As failure. As feminization. As not being a “real man.” This is the homophobia Ilya has grown up with. And in a system where masculinity equals status, dominance, physical strength, emotional stoicism…the worst thing you can be is positioned as subordinate. There’s also a cultural logic around sexual roles. In some traditional attitudes, the insertive partner can still cling to masculinity. The receptive partner is seen as degraded, feminized, “treated like a woman.” It’s not just about orientation. It’s about hierarchy…So if Ilya has internalized even fragments of that framework, consciously or not, then of course he gravitates toward control. And now we look at his life. He is constantly taking care of everyone. His father. His brother. His team. Shane. Even strangers, sometimes. So like what happens when the person who has built his entire identity around being the strong one… has to let himself be held? What happens when he has to receive? That’s the story….Reversing the dynamic isn’t about undoing bottom!Shane. It’s about expanding both of them. Shane often feels safer when he doesn’t have to define or perform his sexuality loudly. There’s comfort in not making the decisions. There’s comfort in not being the assertive one. But post–Book 2? Divas it character growth time. They’re older. They’ve fought through a LOT of their shit. It might be time for Shane to step forward…not just physically, but in confidence. In claiming space. In saying, “I want you. Let me.” And Ms. RACHEL REID—you teased us with the possibility of this for like Several ENTIRE PAGES in Book Two. The tension? Exquisite. The setup? Immaculate. AWARD WINNING. The promise that maybe, maybe, we were about to see Ilya finally let go? AND GIRL JUST Fingers. Just fingers. A cinematic zoom-in on vulnerability and then—AHHHHh i NEED more diva. And even then, even in that almost-moment, Ilya still would not let himself be fully taken care of. He was there, but he wasn’t surrendered. He was allowing, but not yielding. And I cannot stand for this narrative edging of his emotional growth. If the man cannot unclench long enough to be held without trying to manage the situation, then what are we even doing. I need the follow-through. I need the release—not just physically, but psychologically. Let him rest. Let him be wanted. Let him be undone. ….And yes. If we’re being completely honest. did you seen Connor next to Hudson at the Golden Globes? Come on

https://archiveofourown.org/works/80142561

[anj-does-stuff]

Oh wow I hate this. So I tested it a little on a side blog and this is what it does

Then, if you go to the notes on the original post, it only shows the reblog from "two"

So the OP doesn't get to see how much engagement their post has unless people like/reblog from the original post. If someone adds any sort of comment, it splits them up like this. Artists, writers, crafters will see less engagement, nobody will know how far the reach of their post is or if someone says something nice about it. If you want OP to know, you'd have to make a conscious effort to reblog from the first post listed in the chain.

Not only is this going to be bad for general community things, but this could easily promote harassment. You won't see anything but the initial reblog from you if someone makes an addition, so there could be whole conversations that go completely missed.

Thanks, tumblr. Very cool 👍

EDIT: Also, the posts aren't even properly displaying the notes YOUR SPECIFIC VERSION of the post is getting, which this post has shown me.

This is what I see looking at my post at this moment:

But if I go to the reblogs tab of my activity page, we can see

There's a few more than 20 reblogs.

[sunsetandevningstar]

Maybe rate the Tumblr app 1/5 on the store? I think maybe a lot of people have because I’m pretty sure it was at 5 stars earlier today.

[stabbedinthenameofscience]

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Please please please please please. Yes, Firefly animated series, I wants it.

[sunsetandevningstar]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/81090496

Fic rec because Hayden Pike is actually being a good friend in this.

I’m getting more and more put off by the sheer number of Hayden fics where he is toxic as fuck but the author is writing it as if it’s hilarious or acceptable to act like he is doing.

It’s always a genuine pleasure to find a fic like this one where that isn’t how it goes.

If I had a ‘friend’ who was as aggressively interfering and possessive as he is in some fics I would stop being their friend immediately, and I seriously hope that all of these people don’t truly think this kind of behaviour is acceptable friendship behaviour.

I wouldn’t even accept the kind of apparently ‘well-intentioned’ actions in some of these stories from a family member or my spouse, some of them are shocking.