What’s the difference between the US Capitol and Mordor?
One does not simply walk into Mordor
change your fucking url jeff
todays bird

JVL

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we're not kids anymore.
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if i look back, i am lost
YOU ARE THE REASON
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Keni
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Not today Justin
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@swordfightingpotato
What’s the difference between the US Capitol and Mordor?
One does not simply walk into Mordor
change your fucking url jeff
I love that the internet saw people comparing women and other alienated groups of people and went, “they’re dating,” and, “they support each other.” We’re improving as a society.
Does anyone know who these artists are?? They’re brilliant and I’d like to credit them!!
THIS IS HOW TO TAKE A TRASH OPINION COMIC AND MAKE IT BETTER. THANK YOU.
The best genre to ever have existed
These improved my day
GAY RIGHTS
“not all cops”
I work in a non-restraint facility for special needs kids (21 and under) with extreme behavioral issues. I’m talking real violent stuff. Sixteen and twenty-one year old boys who can (and do) home-run swing desks at your head.
As a non-restraint facility, we are trained to respond to these outbursts in the most non-threatening, non-confrontational way possible, while still protecting both the bystanders and the person currently attacking us.
We are monitored every second of our shift to make sure the safety and dignity of our clients is maintained, especially–and just let me emphasize this–the safety and dignity of the person attempting to hurt us. Their right to be treated fairly and with empathy is not forfeit just because their brain chemistry fucked them up today.
We have to be calm, regardless.
We have to be gentle, regardless.
We can never respond with any kind of force, ever.
Those rules apply to all the staff, all the time, no matter what.
So when I hear bullshit about how somebody “reached for their waistband” or they were “resisting,” when I hear yet another police officer got off because the situation was “scary” or he “feared for his safety” or whatever the fuck, I lose my shit.
You wanna talk about how you were frightened for your safety, walking up to someone in the middle of a psychotic episode? Yeah, well, I’ve been there. Pretty regular–probably twice a week, at least–no gun, no taser, with guidelines that state I cannot even use my fucking thumb because that’s considered “grabbing” and therefore a “restraint.”
And you know what? I’ve walked away from every one of those. I haven’t died. I’ve never even been seriously injured. We defused the situation in ways that didn’t involving riddling the other participant with bullets and at the end of the day, everyone went home. Go fucking figure.
And yet–and fucking yet–I keep hearing “not all cops.”
“Not all cops” are bad. “Not all cops” shoot innocent people .3 seconds after rolling up on the scene. “Not all cops” are racist fuckbags, misusing power for a personal joyride. “Not all cops” rape people at gunpoint (and get off scott-fucking-free).
Yet, at my place of employment, somehow everyone is calm in a crisis. Somehow everyone responds to violence with non-violence. Somehow everyone is always able to act like a goddamn compassionate human-being in the middle of the worst kind of street fight–
but you’re telling me that cops, people paid to protect, can’t all do what I do?
You’re telling me that cops, trained to respond to crises, can’t all respond to the same crises, with the same skill, that I do?
And you’re telling me that cops have to stick together in the face of these “potentially false” accusations. That cops have to support each other, no matter what, because their job is dangerous or whatever. That yeah, some cops, but ~actually, sweetie, not all cops~
Fuck that noise. My job is dangerous, too. But you better believe that if anyone sees a member of our staff breaking regulation, their ass gets reported immediately. That person loses their clearances; they can no longer be hired in the field, anywhere. There’s no moving to another district. There’s no finding another location. We make it stop.
So until every cop is cleaning house, until every cop stops this strategically blind bullshit, until every cop refuses to stand by and watch the rampant abuse and corruption inherent in this system, until all the bad cops are weeded out and unemployable–
Until that moment, then yeah, all cops.
I wrote this in 2015. Five years ago, I thought we’d have made some sweeping changes by now.
This is what “violence is the resort of the incompetent” means. Properly trained people don’t resort to violence.
OP wrote this five years ago and its still fucking relevant
my best OC is Brad Wayne, Bruce’s illegitimate biological child via a totally normal woman he had a fling with when he was younger and didn’t stay in touch with
Brad grew up a totally normal kid, went to college, joined a frat, and decided to get in touch with Bruce, who now has an awkward situation on his hands
now the other Batkids have to deal with fucking Brad Wayne, whose normalacy is absolutely insufferable... he tells Dick to try yoga and suggests that Tim will sleep better if he gets more exercise... Bruce goes out of town and Brad decides it’s time to throw a house party with his frat friends
he’s so good
All of Brad’s Bat-siblings are absolutely unprepared to deal with him. They can’t handle it. They can’t even hate him properly, even Damien, because he’s just... he’s not even... he’s just Some Guy™️!
They’re all braced for the inevitable reveal that he’s a villain, an imposter, or an interloper there to usurp the Wayne fortune or spy on Batman. They have all sorts of plans to foil his schemes and the only thing they’re not able to prepare for is the fact that he’s just. Brad. He’s not a bad guy, but he’s not a saint, either—his problems are just so mundane, so ordinary.
They TRY to understand what his life is like, but how are they supposed to relate to someone who doesn’t text back because he’s hungover or his phone died, not because he’s tied up in a death trap somewhere being menaced by someone in a Halloween costume?
No one’s ever tried to ritually sacrifice him before and it shows.
Does he know they are the batfam? Or does he just think it is so cool that his dad has adopted all these kids that needed a home?
Oh he has no idea. Brad didn’t grow up in Gotham and isn’t really familiar with its culture, so he thinks it’s an ordinary city with ordinary problems (presumably there’s still a concept of ‘ordinary’ in the DCU).
When someone tries to tell him he laughs it off. Maybe one of his friends asks him about the popular rumor that Bruce Wayne is Batman, but he’s never even contemplated the possibility. Later he’s trying to coax Dick into playing beer pong and loudly tells the story to party guests as a funny anecdote. He thinks the whole concept of Batman is hilarious. Maybe he makes up stories about seeing Batman to impress his family and make himself sound cool.
Eventually though some bad guy who wants a huge ransom is going to kidnap Brad. What happens then? Does Batman call in a favor to one of the other members of the Justice League or does Damien go out and rescue his brother and tell him he’s the most useless of all his brothers because he’s so ordinary? Because you know if anyone is going to blab it’s going to be Damien.
Brad gets kidnapped and Steph and/or Cass rescue him in costume.
Later, in Wayne Manor, he tells his family all about how the Batgirls were totally flirting with him and how he managed to take out a few of the bad guys all by himself.
Brad Wayne: “Hey, do you guys think Batman fucks? Like, you think he has ever gotten laid?”
Dick, stiffly: “Um. Yes. I think so.”
Brad: “Really? Guy sounds like a turbo-virgin to me. I mean, he fights crime in a fursuit! Come on!”
Tim: “I have it on reasonable authority that Batman fucks. Unfortunately.”
Steph: “Hey, Damian. Penny for your thoughts?”
Frat Kid Brad Wayne
Brad: “Bro do you remember what Robin used to wear, back when we were kids? With like, those little feathery booty shorts?”
Dick: “Scaled. Not feathery. He wore an armored leotard.”
Brad: “Nah, man, they were totally feathery! ‘Cause robins have feathers. I never really understood that—why would Batman’s sidekick be themed after a songbird? Robins aren’t scary. They don’t fight crime, and they don’t come out at night. Why not ‘Batboy’ or ‘Owlkid’ or something?”
Dick: “I’m pretty sure Robin’s schtick was based off Robin Hood the outlaw, not the bird. That’s why he wore green, and had a uniform cleverly blending medieval costumery with, uh, acrobatic attire.”
Brad: “Whatever. I’m just saying, it was weird.”
Dick: “Not really? Look up classic strongman costumes and historical illustrations of Robin Hood. Or Google Jules Leotard.”
Brad: “But the bare legs! The pixie boots! Why would Batman let him wear that? It’s creepy.”
Dick: “It wasn’t! Look. It was a different time. In context, that costume was obviously heroic. Besides, he was a little kid. I’m sure he’d wear something different now.”
Jason: “Yeah, but didn’t he keep wearing the short pants until he was old enough to vote? I’m pretty sure I remember that Robin wearing the pixie boots through college... he must have spent a fortune getting his legs waxed. I think I’d die before I’d do that.”
Dick: “This is Gotham. People do weirder things all the time.”
Brad: “Haven’t there been a lot of Robins? What happens to them? Do they die and Batman just hopes no one will notice when they’re replaced?”
Dick: “I—”
Jason: “I think that’s exactly what happens. He’s probably got a whole cellar full of dead Robins.”
Brad: “Seriously? You really don’t think any of the lady villains are hot? Not even Poison freaking Ivy?”
Dick: “Nope. Not my type.”
Jason: “You heard it here first, folks—Dick Grayson is not into redheads or bondage.”
Dick: “She kills people, Ja—”
Brad: “What about the Batgirls? There’s the red-haired one, the blonde one, the one in all black... and... Batwoman? Is that all of them? Wasn’t there also a girl Robin or two?”
Dick: “I’m... not sure this is a respectful conversation to be having.”
Babs: “Oh, no, I always thought the red-haired Batgirl was foxy as hell. Wouldn’t you agree, Dick? I’d let her top me any day.”
Jason: “Dick’s right. This is getting weird and kind of misogynist.”
Steph: “I like the strong, silent type. Definitely the second Batgirl.”
Cass: “Blonde.”
Brad: “Batgirl or the girl Robin?”
Cass: “Both. At once.”
Brad: “Personally I like older women. I’d date Batwoman in a heartbeat.”
Babs: “I don’t think you’re her type.”
Brad: “What? ‘Cause I’m a jock?”
Babs: “Mm. Probably because you button your shirts on the right side.”
Reminder to protestors to stay hydrated and wear comfortable foot wear. Stay as safe as you can.
Dear mansplaining morons who think "Batman could totally win a fight with Wonder Woman"
Are y'all high?
Bruce
- an average human dude - has no superpowers to speak of - trained fighting for like, 10, 20 years tops - uses fancy but breakable human-made gadgets
Diana
- literally a deity - “only a god can kill another god” - trained fighting for 500 to 2,000 years (depending on who you ask) under Antiope, the greatest general in the history of a legendary warrior race - can fly - can literally level a building with a single punch - can control lightning - able to take punches by someone capable of crumbling a gun with their bare hands - can toss a tank with her bare hands like it’s nbd - has magical weapons originally made for & owned by gods
Being a man doesn’t give you the ability to defeat a deity who’s trained for centuries under the best of the best, has magic powers, and magic weapons, you twats.
Being a man doesn’t make you better than a deity.
No being a man doesn’t make you better than a woman, being Batman makes you better than a woman, what people always seem to forget is that on top of all the money and gadgets Batman is an expert in all forms of martial arts, a master tactician, and the smartest member of the justice league, if anyone has a weakness he knows it, and he has contingency plans for all members of the justice leagues, so yes while Wonder Woman would probably win in a fair fight you have to remember that Batman doesn’t fight fair
“what people always seem to forget is that on top of all the money and gadgets Batman is an expert in all forms of martial arts, a master tactician, and the smartest member of the justice league”
1. …Did you actually read my original post? At all?
I’m perfectly aware of Batman’s fighting abilities and tactical skills.
However, you’re blatantly ignoring the fact that while Bruce is “an expert in all forms of martial arts [and] a master tactician” SO IS DIANA.
What’s more, you’re also ignoring the fact that Diana has trained for between 25 to 100 times longer than Bruce has, and under MUCH more qualified and skilled tutors than the League of Shadows could ever hope to be in their wildest dreams.
Like I point out in my original post, Bruce has trained for maybe 20 years under the instruction of some rando ninja assassins.
Diana trained for 500-2,000 years (depending on which version of her you’re going with), and her instructor was either the greatest general in history or War itself. And you can bet your ass her training included tactical planning.
As Batman once put it, “she’s skilled… a warrior born”.
So in arguing that “he could beat her because of his training” what you’re saying is that a man with only 20 years of training could beat someone who’s trained between 25 to 100 times longer than he has.
That makes as much sense as saying a guy with no training whatsoever could beat Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan.
“if anyone has a weakness he knows it, and he has contingency plans for all members of the justice leagues”
We’ve literally seen Batman try and fight Wonder Woman
HE LOST
BADLY
Wonder Woman is a better fighter, she’s a better tactician and she’s stronger and faster than Bruce will ever be
Putting this for more evidence.
Fuck fake fanboys who don’t know shit. Batman could never beat Wonder Woman. And Bruce knows it.
Also, “Bruce is the smartest member of the Justice League”?
NO
No he’s not
Clark has studied the science of a planet that is MILLIONS of years more advanced than earth
Diana comes from a culture where they can cure all injuries and disease with a magic ray and build invisible jets
Cyborg can literally access all human knowledge just by Googling with his Brain
Barry can read at super speed and learn any skill he needs in a second
Bruce…is a man who spends most of his time in a cave and throws exploding knives at people
Batman is perfectly good at what he does in Gotham, but people acting like he’s somehow better than the rest of the Justice League is just….PAINFULLY ridiculous
Bruce isn’t even the best member of the Bat-family, he’s sure as hell not the most powerful/dangerous/important part of the Justice League. If the League actually wanted to take Batman down, he’d last about a MINUTE. And that’s being generous
Not that narrative of Bruce being the smartest member of the JL again *facepalm* Bruce is the smartest member of the JL just as Tim is the smartest Robin. That is, DC keeps saying it but DC’s own canon contravenes it.
Bruce as the smartest JL dude - I mean, Barry and Wally are middle class white dudes, Superman, Martian Manhunter, the Hawks, are not humans, WW is a demigod, Vic and John are Black….oooh Bruce as THE smartest and THE leader begins to make a lot of sense now.
all these people who say gay was never a slur are too young to remember those psas that told you to say stupid instead of gay
idk if this is a “i dont believe you” what or a “you mean there are people who havent seen these??” what but allow me to enlighten you
i havent watched this commercial in 10 years (which was also when it was posted) but yes i remember this playing on TV when i was younger
heres an article from 2009
heres an interview from 2009
in fact, these were so culturally relevant that i distinctly remember watching a dane cook special where he had a bit about it (i think he also mentions rape so tw for that)
i grew up hearing gay be thrown left and right as a derogatory term, and its a small part of why i dont identify with the word.
if youre going to say that queer is a slur, then you have to mention that gay is used as one as well. otherwise, youre just spewing t///er/////f propaganda and im not about that bullshit
hey, thanks for providing sources! i genuinely did not know these existed because i never saw these PSA’s
no problem! i dont think they were on air for a long time, so im sure there are a lot of people who dont know about ‘em!
There was a PSA made as recently as 2 or 3 years ago in New Zealand to stop using gay as a derogatory term
hey, i’m 31 and actually lived through the period where gay was used as a derogatory slur. It was the major formation of my highschool and middle school years. Kids constantly would call each other, ideas, concepts, things “Gay” when they meant “stupid”. I literally had to retrain my brain for 5 years to not use it and I am part of the lgbtqia community. I was just too young to know better.
This absolutely happened and is a major reason why we gotta be not only aware of our words but also understanding that people change.
I'm 35 and queer and I lived through that era, too. "Lesbian" was a term for any girl that was disliked, spoken in various intonations of disgust. Kind of used the same way incels spit the word "feminist," now that I think about it.
But there's more to it that some people aren't getting, either.
"Gay" and "Lesbian" were used as weapons; even if someone wasn't queer, if they were hated enough, the rumors spread. "Don't hang out with her, she's a lesbian." "Hey, should (name) be allowed to change in the locker room? You know they're gay, don't you?" And so on. Depending on where you were, especially if you were trying to have a career (like a teacher) being labeled "gay" enough times to be believed cost someone their career, because of "concerns," especially if the job involved particularly young kids. And that's just the people who got lucky enough to only lose a job.
Anything used to label us is coated in blood. Even the "good words" came from a bad past.
I lived through this shit as well, when I was being viciously bullied in middle school they used to call me a lesbian all the time, as a way so to indicate how awful gross and terrible I was. You’ll still run into people my age using gay as a synonym for stupid and bad.
I'm 33 and one of my coworkers (in her 60s) still uses 'gay' to mean 'cheap, tacky, or low-class' even though she knows that I am queer and will not stop.
Hello! I live in Nelson, New Zealand. I still have to call people out on this at least weekly. Also for using the R word, and sometimes even the N word. SERIOUSLY.
There are still people in my high school that use ‘gay’ as an insult. (I live in a very conservative, small town) I was not aware that there are people who don’t know about this.
i don't think being a comics fan even means you like comics it's just that you have strong opinions about them
i need a pic of dick with a five o’clock shadow sitting around in his boxers and eating a bowl of cereal. should i even venture to say boxers and socks? yes, yes. but his socks should be mismatched. and also his hair should look disheveled, but in a sexy way, ya feel? almost as if he just stepped outta the shower, toweled it dry, and called it a day.
and he should have cute lil bandaids wrapped around his fingers as if he’s fuckin juni from spy kids. and maybe the bandaids have lil robin symbols on them bc damian gave them to him for his bday. you bet your ass dick would be wearing them.
he’d either be sitting on the kitchen counter with his legs dangling bc why the fuck not it’s his own damn house or he’d be all scrunched up on his computer chair. no in-between bc the kitchen table and the couch do not fit the aesthetic i’m trying to paint here, mkay?
slightly rushed but I did the best I could
Me:
AU where Padme is a Jedi and Ahsoka is her padawan.
I’ll have the fic on your desk by Monday
The best part is the fact that Anakins not even like a tactful senator. He's super popular but he and Padme have the exact same negotiation styles as they do in the normal canon
Senator: *starts insulting someone Anakin loves*
Anakin: *pulls out a gun on the Senate floor* say it again
Ahsoka always gets this wolfish grin on her face whenever she and Padme are assigned to protect Anakin because sure, Padme occasionally gets into aggressive negotions but mostly is pretty calm. Anakin, though?
Padme: Really, Ahsoka, I don’t see why you’re so eager for a dull bodyguard assingment with Anak—uh, Senetor Skywalker.
Ahsoka: The last time we were supposed to have a “dull assignment” with Skywalker he called Grievous “dooku’s punk clanker bitch” and blew up half his fleet.
Padme: I’m aware. I’m the one who had to duel Grievous while you held Skywalker back.
Ahsoka: And it was dope.
I imagine the Anakin speech in the senator like:
Anakin: All of you are little bitches and I hate talking you because you are useless and just fuck our citizens.
Anakin (leaving the senate chamber): Eat the rich, people.
While the 15 fake anakin are sighing.
And the first time that he met Ashoka:
Anakin (after meeting ashoka during one hour and seeing her snipy agaisnt Dooku): We are going to adopt your padawan.
Padme: What?
Anakin: We are going to adopt her, I even got already the papers.
Anakin would be Tatooine’s senator, after leading a rebellion that freed it from the Hutts, and the Senate just doesn't know what to do with this desert yokel who showed up to Coruscaunt after being elected and challenged Orn Free Ta to a fist fight less than twenty four hours later.
Imagine how much of a wrench it would throw in Palpatine’s plans. He’s the kind of person who would never have given someone like Anakin the time of day if he didnt have force powers, so now Anakin’s gonna be ready to fight him 24/7. He tries to give himself emergency powers and Anakin, who of course refused to go into hiding when his life was threatened b/c he thinks “self preservation” is the same thing as carbonite freezing, just straight up starts calling him a bitch in the middle of his speech.
This is it. This is my favorite Star Wars post.
Most people look at Dick Grayson doing unnecessary flips everywhere as proof he’s a show-off, but my intensive studies into Teen Wolf informed me otherwise.
I’d recognize the telltale signs of lycanthropy everywhere.
That, my friends, is a werewolf.
@hood-ex I wasn’t even thinking of this in terms of Derek Hale jumping (shirtless) down the stairs of his burned out home, but now that you’ve said that, I can’t help but picture a burned out Wayne Manor and it fits so well. Hey fun fact, have you noticed that we seem to have the nifty ability to take each other’s perfectly nice and even fluffy posts and somehow find the single spin that then makes that once innocuous post now angsty as fuck?
We should probably be stopped, tbh but meanwhile, back at burned out Wayne Manor, Dick is doing pull-ups because idk, even squirrels deserve eye candy or whatever the character motivation for supernaturally fit shapeshifters to do basic workout routines is I guess.
You know what, I have noticed that. But since DC constantly fails to deliver that Good Good angst, I think we have to accept the fact that we are now the angst machines that keep the Good Good angst rolling out. We are the angst lords, you and I.
“but meanwhile, back at burned out Wayne Manor” I JUST SPAT LMAO. I was also literally thinking the same thing about Wayne Manor being burned down! I was legit gonna write that in my tags! I was like hm are Dick and Derek actually comparable in any fashion? And then I was like lol not reaaally, but I can certainly imagine Dick skulking around the burned ruins of Wayne Manor.
Fuck, imagine Tim comes to investigate the Manor bc he’s still obsessed with Batman/the Wayne’s or whatever, and Dick straight up pulls a Derek on him and just pounces down from the chandelier.
Also, yes, after intimidating Tim, Dick should immediately find the nearest doorway and start doing pull-ups from the top panel of it. He will then internally curse bc he does not have a tattoo plastered to his back muscles to make him look even more like a bad boy.
Okay yeah Dick isn’t really Derek at all and you know in all seriousness of course I’m more likely to compare him to Scott buuuuuuut.....
I say we run with the Dick as Derek thing, because speaking of things that make a guy go spat LMAO.....if Dick is Derek, wouldn’t that make Jason.....CORA????
Younger, aggressive sibling whose first response to everything is I say we kill it, who their older sibling believed to be dead for years.....I’m calling it, Jason is Cora and that just fucking killed me, I’m dead now, my Facebook status is set at deceased. Hello from the ooooooooother siiiiiiiiiiide.
SHUT.
Ohh he’s Cora alright. But Jason during Battle for the Cowl is definitely Peter. Oh fuck, is Damian Peter? I feel like Damian is Peter lasjkdkaldla.
I mean tbh, I was kinda thinking Liam. Tiny fluffy ball of fury whose desire to make his surrogate big brother and alpha proud but like....without admitting that’s what he’s doing or that he even cares at all, it’s like whatever, he cares like, maybe 5%. 10% MAX.
All I know is Cass has definite Malia like qualities while being totally different at the exact same time.
None of these really work as anything other than crack character swaps, but as crack character swaps I find all of these objectively hilarious.
LASKJDLA okay if Damian is Liam and Dick is Derek then imagine the scene where Liam, Derek, and Stiles are in the car and Liam’s losing control. So then Dick and (let’s swap Cora/Jason in for Stiles) Jason are trying to get Damian to calm down. And Dick discreetly takes one of Jason’s knives and is like:
“Look, Dames, this knife is centuries old. It’s a very powerful supernatural knife. It’ll help you control yourself.”
And meanwhile Jason is absently patting down his now empty pocket while simultaneously shooting Dick WTF are you serious? looks. And after Dick stares at Jason with *you better play along or fucking else* eyes, Jason is finally like
*clears throat* “Yes... it’s very powerful. Very... powerful...”
Does that make Babs Lydia? I mean they’re both badass redheads who are smarter than everyone else.
Hal and Barry + Best Friends
TOMMY SHEPHERD AND BILLY KAPLAN HEAD CANONS
1) When Billy and Tommy fall asleep, they always sleep on their side in the exacf same position, with their bodies curled toward each other. (they deny this happening)
2) Sometimes subconsciously, Billy and Tommy will move the exact same way. Like if they’re sitting on the couch, both of them will shift exactlyyyy at the same time and same way, but neither notice.
3) Only Tommy is allowed to bully Billy. It’s not proven but someone punched Kesler in the face and whoever it was was “a blur of movement”.
4) After they fight, neither ever apologizes. They just go back to normal a few hours later, like the never fought.
5) Billy puts a protection against magical effects spell on Tommy every morning and Tommy always makes sure Billy’s favorite food is in the fridge. No one ever talks about it.
6) No matter how much Tommy denies it and tries to “run away” from it, he’s part of the Kaplan family and as such is entitled to join their family photos.
Also some HC with Tommy and the Kaplan family.
1) Tommy feels the most comfortable around Jeff who never pries into tommy’s life, but is there if Tommy wants to talk or be in his company silently.
2) Billy’s baby brother calls Tommy to chat about his 1st grade class every day and Tommy listens.
3) Billy’s other brother and Tommy have a bet going but no one knows what the bet is.
4) Tommy actually goes to therapy for Cassie’s death and the time at the testing lab with rebecca.
5) Tommy has his own room. Not a guest room, but when he started living with them, Billy’s parents went out of their way to buy stuff for Tommy’s room so it’s more homely and an actual room. They keep it there, ready for whenever Tommy wants to stop by
Found this old drawing Anna Diop in Starfire’s comic costume
trying out six fanarts challenge. one down five to go
I'm laughing so fucking hard