Sylvan: Relating to or characteristic of woods or forest regions

talking like point-and-click game narration to the bugs in my room

you can't get out that way!

that's not very helpful.

maybe the open window will help.

#suggestive #OH GOODNESS GRACIOUD.#strong dislike #extremely book-accurate tho so

try the open window instead.

depsidase

a-kind-of-merry-war

I've just found the single most homoerotic piece of LOTR art ever who wants to see

outlaw-monarch

Um, YES?

a-kind-of-merry-war

This is The Taming of Smeagol by Donato Giancola and by god they're gonna have a threeway with that wriggly guy

faeri-sami

Just a silly crossover that wouldn't leave my mind

rexono

1 hour limit smash together with mspaint and a mouse

#PRETTY ART #phm

thepoetrycollection-blog

Famous Poems Rewritten as Limericks

The Raven

There once was a girl named Lenore And a bird and a bust and a door And a guy with depression And a whole lot of questions And the bird always says “Nevermore.”

Footprints in the Sand There was a man who, at low tide Would walk with the Lord by his side Jesus said “Now look back; You’ll see one set of tracks. That’s when you got a piggy-back ride.”

Response to ‘This Is Just To Say’ This note on the fridge is to say That those ripe plums that you put away Well, I ate them last night They tasted all right Plus I slept with your sister. M’kay?

Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening There once was a horse-riding chap Who took a trip in a cold snap He stopped in the snow But he soon had to go: He was miles away from a nap.

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night There was an old father of Dylan Who was seriously, mortally illin’ “I want,” Dylan said “You to bitch till you’re dead. “I’ll be pissed if you kick it while chillin’.”

I Wandered Lonely As a Cloud There once was a poet named Will Who tramped his way over a hill And was speechless for hours Over some stupid flowers This was years before TV, but still.

naamahdarling

THE ONE FOR DO NOT GO GENTLE IM CRYING

theotherwesley

I’m so proud im crying

mapsburgh

For the Tolkien fans: The Ring poem:

Ol’ Sauron once made him some rings Handed out to elf, dwarf, and man kings But the One that would find them And in darkness bind them Lay in Mordor with shadows and things

The Lay of Leithian:

There once was a gal so in love With a mortal her dad was tired of They cleared out werewolf hill And stole one Silmaril But they both died from all the above

All that is gold does not glitter

All that is gold does not glitter Deep roots won’t freeze up or grow bitter We’ll fix up this blade And so don’t be afraid Believe me, this ranger’s no quitter

Elves’ song in Rivendell

What brings you to our secret valley? Explain yourself Thorin, ol’ pally Your pony needs shoeing And that’s nothin’ doing But we’re busy with tra-la-la-lally.

2well2water

no one cares that you shave your legs because of sensory issues shut the fuck up forever

2well2water

really galling amount of people misinterpreting this post so i'd like to clarify. i'm saying that when discussions about patriarchal beauty standards and the way women are heavily shamed and coerced into eschewing their own natural state of being (hairy) are occurring, it is unhelpful (AT BEST) to interrupt and say that the reason YOU remove the hair from your body is because of sensory issues. that's not what we're talking about. stop asking for validation for doing something that society at large wants you to do. stop derailing the conversation because you feel uncomfortable about being made aware that you, for whatever reason it is, adhere to harmful, unfair and ridiculous beauty standards. you're stepping into the middle of an important conversation that needs to be had and making it all about you. shut the fuck up forever.

2well2water

also quite frankly i think a lot less people would experience sensory issues if they let their hair grow out so that it isn't bristly and rough and irritating. and i cannot help but wonder why these sensory issues aren't as predominant in men. maybe you're uncomfortable with the hair on your body because you've been taught to be uncomfortable with it. just a thought.

pastabot

today is not my birthday

pastabot

reblog if your birthday is not today

transhuman-priestess

I’m not the first person to say this by any means, but the real power that Donald Trump has is to show that Americans are single-issue voters, and the single issue is being racist.

transhuman-priestess

A powerful plurality of Americans would rather eat dirt, bathe in shit, and sell their children to be cannon fodder than not be racist. This is a truism of American governance.

yesornopolls

If you have a middle name, is it after someone else in your family?

Yes

See results

Remaining time: 3 days 2 hours

#tis my mothers maiden name

gerardwayspostnutclarity

yesssss

#mcr #ah so she enjoys selfcest

dingdongyouarewrong

i'm getting the sense some of you are not actually forklift certified.

dingdongyouarewrong

well damn . egg on my face

dingdongyouarewrong

THE PLOT THICKENS @averagejoey2000 explain yourself

I can't believe this is how I'm finding out that I got a scam forklift cert.

I took the cargo ops class at school but my teacher explained that it doesn't give a certification and I'd only be okay for ship's crane and the school forklifts. she said I could take an online exam and get my cert. I paid 60 bucks.

I'm googling and I'm seeing a lot of resources saying that the online programs cover the classroom part of the exam but not the in person practical aspect.

29 CFR 1910.178 (l)(2)(ii)

but I did the in person practical shit at school.

the back of the card even had fancy numbers on it. I couldn't have known that this isn't the one. this website sounded more official than certifyme.net, and there wasn't one with a .gov address.

so, I emailed OSHA, and they said that so long as I live and work in California, there's no such thing as forklift certification. I have to be told how to do it every time I get the job.

#phm #MADE ME LAUGH #OLIVER YOU ARE TWO APPLES TALL AND SHE IS THE SIZE OF A SINGLE CHERRY.

Update: I took a certification class in shipboard Material Handling Equipment at my federal job. *now* I'm forklift certified, but only on ships and piers and only for this company, but also rated to forklift explosives and hazardous materials. Also I'm a woman now.

billiamdoor

persbaderse

before my egg cracked, i had noticed that trans people were often pro-accessibility and up-to-date on the needs of disabled people, but i hadn’t seen any inherent connection between the two (other than the obvious minority-looking-out-for-other-minority thing). but now that i’m trans and medically transitioning, and i have to constantly repeat myself while talking to doctors and nurses, and explain things about my own anatomy to medical staff who should already know this, and having every single problem i might have blamed on my “condition” so nothing i say is taken seriously, all of the sudden i have a little sneak peak into the life of someone who has to deal with this all the time. like shit bro, being disabled probably sucks ass, someone should do something about this

persbaderse

happy disability pride month, we all deserve autonomy and respect and access to medication

I don't need the chatgpt random algorithm to write emails for me because I already have a custom and 100% flawless algorithm called "writing the exact same three emails with the names changed"

#1: "hi [landlord], hope you're doing well! [apartment thing] is [broken/a problem]. we need it [fixed/replaced/handled] by [date]. let us know when you'll send someone over so we can be here to let them in. thanks so much, [op]"

#2: "hi [professor], hope you're doing well! unfortunately, I'm [sick/stuck at work/dead] and won't be able to submit [assignment] by [due date]. could I please have an extension? if not, is there anything else I could do to make up this credit? thanks so much, [op]"

#3: "hi [customer service person], hope you're doing well! unfortunately, [product] [didn't arrive/is broken/wrong color/gave me a rash/poisoned my crops] and I'd like to receive a [refund/replacement]. here is the documentation of the order and photos of [broken thing/wrong thing/my rash/dead crops]. thanks so much, [op]"

"but op I work in an office I have to write way more emails than you" well that's your fault for working in an office i got nothing to do with that

perpetualsarcasmmachine

Writing an email is so easy and I will tell you how it's done. This is the advice is for everyone with an email job, but you can apply it to normal human interaction.

The FIRST SENTENCE is the thing you want the recipient to do. Do not make them guess.

I want to let you know about ... (This email is to inform someone of something not to ask them to do anything)

Could you please do ... (This is a request. You want them to do something).

I'm looking into x and wondering if you can help me (this is also a request but for information instead of an action).

People do not want to read an email and even if they do read it, most people are skimming and not interested. Tell them what you want first, then provide context or other information (when you need a thing is often key). If the email is informational, you can even add "you don't need to do anything, this is just to keep you informed!" People will appreciate not having to figure out what you want from them.

If you can't articulate what you want the recipient to do with the message, you are not ready to email them. I read too many emails where I have no idea what the person wants from me.

Put the most important thing first and everyone will be impressed! AI cannot do this for you because it can't tell what's important! Only you know that, which is why you must write your own emails.