Me, constantly
taylor price

blake kathryn
One Nice Bug Per Day

titsay
đȘŒ

â
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Today's Document
DEAR READER

#extradirty

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Mike Driver
todays bird

JBB: An Artblog!
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
styofa doing anything

Kiana Khansmith
ojovivo

tannertan36
Sweet Seals For You, Always

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@syshatumbles
Me, constantly
Jefferson figuring out that his son is Spider-Man but instead of telling him âhey you blew your secretâ and possibly freaking him out, starts quietly training him in correct police procedure (without him knowing) while also repeatedly talking about how he had issues with the old Spider-Man but the new one seems like a brave and responsible young man and how he would be totally proud of him if he were this guyâs parents
Jefferson: youâve got everything you need for the week? Books? Computer? Spray paint? Web fluid? Shoes?
Miles: wait what was that middle thing
Jefferson: spray paint! I support my sonâs artistic endeavors
AISBSKSHISGSIWHEJFSHSJHDHSUEHSKSHWKA
Rio: okay but is he seeing that ballerina spider-girl or not? He seems very fond of her
Jefferson: well heâs very insistent that sheâs Spider-Woman but honestly he always seems to want to act professional when heâs in the mask so I canât tell
Rio: you could ask him
Jefferson: honey we need to let him have his privacy he doesnât want us to know
LATER
Rio: I wonder if the new Spider-Man has a girlfriend he seems like heâd be very nice
Miles, sweating: mom are you trying to set me up with Spider-Man
Iâm sorry, but Miles Morales pretending to date Spider-man to keep his secret identity while his parents 100% know that heâs Spider-man is PEAK humor
they invite him to dinner just to see what miles comes up with
Spider ham is the only one available itâs a whole thing
I have read a LOT of these but this one is by far the funniest
shocked and betrayed.
âGuy finds a baby possum having trouble keeping up with their mom and returns the little fella to herâ
(via)
can yâall imagine if aliens did this?? Like imagine ur on a distant planet and your group begins to leave you behind- youâre too slow- and all of a sudden this absolutely fucking massive, hairless monster strolls up to you. So youre standing there, paralyzed in fear, and it just gently picks you up, chases your group until theyre close enough, and just sets you down in the middle of them and leaves. Thats fucking insane what a wild day that little possum had huh
Hey guys wanna see something awful
Of course you do here it is
jess, how exactly did you discover this
I cast my net into the dregs of the internet to bring you premium content
*throws you a quarter for your troubles* excellent
Thank you it will go towards my therapy
cursed images
gently used
Tested positive for Covid this Friday The 13th.Â
Oh shitsjdkcjjsksnxhdjsjs
shots fired
From the 2nd amendment fanbase, yeah
Finding Nemo (2003) // Aquaman (2018)
This parallel is actually hysterical
Ignoring the second tweet for a second, but thatâs literally how insurance works.
âCompany gets insurance and then claims that insurance when applicableâ is not a story.
Normally I would agree with you, but in the context of âduring a disaster that almost nobody had anticipated was even possible, one company HAD gotten insurance for this shitâ is news, because unusual things are news, and being prepared for the corona virus at all is very unusual.
You know right that pandemics existed before Corona virus and that this insurance was for pandemics and not just corona and therefore actually kinda sorta really makes sense
I looked it up and apparently, Wimbledonâs Risk and Finance Committee demanded that pandemic insurance be purchased after the SARS outbreak in 2002. They recognized that a pandemic was a threat to their event after SARS and made a plan.
Apparently some furry conventions have also had pandemic insurance, so we can all live with the knowledge that furry conventions and a tennis tournament were better prepared for a pandemic than any other businesses and most governments.
Heat index was 110 degrees so we offered him a cold drink. He went for a full body soak instead
he accepted ur cold drink!!
Fun Fact, thats, more or less, something that wealthy people in China and Japan did, they were called âmusical floorboards.â Designed to squeak when stood upon. A person could make noise all the way down a corridor.
The residents and servants knew which floorboards made a sound and avoided them. But a burglar, or assassin didnât. If you heard the creaking of floorboards, you knew danger was coming.
Even better, despite what movies may show, a lot of the old west was founded by Chinese immigrants, so there could have been carpenters around who knew how to make the musical floorboards!
They were also called Nightingale Floors, and looking up to make sure I had the right term, I found they were super clever! They were more than just ill-fit boards or whatever makes floors creak normally, they actually used little metal bars under the boards placed into small holes in the boards to cause the creak.
The best things on the internet are when someone makes a joke and then Miss Frizzle rolls up for an educational adventure.
This legitimately needs to be in future literature textbooks to capture the Covid-19 Pandemic.
took my cat to the vet the other day and the vet goes âwell I donât see anything wrong hereâŠ. heâs just a VERY handsome boyâ & i almost teared up
my HANDSOME boyâŠ
Diagnosed with handsome boy disease
push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.
push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.
get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.
stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.
buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.
buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.
strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.
organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you donât want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.
have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.
push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dogâs behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.
message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you donât follow through. push yourself to follow through.
think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.
become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.
lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasnât a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.
This is all really good advice for dealing with long term depression and anxiety. Itâs not gonna magically cure you, but Iâve pushed myself to incorporate a few of these things into my day to day routine and it helps
by Loading Artist
my comedic sense was fully sated before I even reached the last panel
A+ would snort again
Trigger Warning For:
Themes of Sexual Assault
Im fucking seeing thos movie 11 times. Id idc idc
If I had the funds I would buy out an entire theatre for this and invite every woman I know so there would be no men in there and we could all cheer everytime some asshole gets taken out.Â
WHAT A FUCKING CAST?!
So many famous faces in a movie that's saying something so important!!
Toxic in the background?
Emerald Fennell writing and directing??
TAKE ALL MY MONEY!!
Also the fact that it's titled Promising Young Woman??? Like how in every assault case you hear "and/but he's such a promising young man!" like he deserves to be excused for this absolute violation of humanity??? choice.