#autistic men

[sniper-montag]

when you're white and don't have a lot of facial expressions you're treated as just a serious guy or mysterious, do that as a brown man and even your own family calls you bitchy, mean and tells you to calm down or plain out shut up for standing for yourself, you can even get misdiagnosed and told BY A PSYCHIATRIST you have anger issues WHEN YOU DONT.

being brown means i dont get to experience any neutral or negative experience ever or else i will be seen as unfriendly and grumpy, i need to be always happy like im fucking high

[gooch-cancer]

and would i be wrong if i asked him at dinner, is you autistic??

[a-typical]

What many clinicians and researchers have quietly noticed but only partly studied: autistic women (and AFAB nonbinary people) do often report a stronger drive for touch-based co-regulation, while many autistic men seem comparatively detached from or avoidant of it.

The reasons appear to be multi-layered: partly biological, partly developmental, partly social conditioning.

1. Socialization and suppression

From early childhood, boys are discouraged from seeking or expressing physical comfort except in narrow contexts (sports, aggression, sex). Girls, meanwhile, are permitted — even expected — to use touch for bonding: hugging friends, leaning close, soothing others.

By adulthood, that conditioning is so deep that many autistic men simply don’t recognize their deprivation as touch hunger; they reinterpret it as fatigue, irritability, or a need to withdraw. It’s not that they don’t have the biology — it’s that the language of the body has been culturally silenced in them.

2. Masking styles and attachment imprint

Autistic women are often hyper-attuned to others’ emotional states as part of social masking — scanning faces, tones, micro-movements to stay safe. That hyper-attunement means they also register co-regulation cues more vividly. When those cues vanish, the absence feels like falling out of sync with gravity.

Many autistic men, by contrast, mask through avoidance or intellectualization: distancing from embodied cues to manage overwhelm. The result is a kind of disembodied competence — they live in their heads, sometimes barely registering sensory deprivation until it becomes physical pain or shutdown.

3. Hormonal and neurochemical modulation

Oxytocin and estrogen interact closely. Estrogen increases the sensitivity of oxytocin receptors and amplifies the calming response to touch. Testosterone tends to dampen oxytocin sensitivity and shift reward salience toward dominance or achievement rather than affiliation.

That doesn’t mean men lack the capacity for tenderness — just that the same physical stimulus produces a weaker regulatory signal. In autistic men, where baseline arousal and sensory gating already differ, that smaller oxytocin effect may not register as compelling relief, so they don’t crave it in the same way.

4. Sensory integration profiles

Autistic females statistically show more tactile seeking and tactile defensiveness overlap — meaning touch can be overwhelming and deeply needed, depending on context. That paradox keeps the body’s awareness of touch front-of-mind.

Autistic males more often present with tactile avoidance without the craving side; they shut down the whole channel early in life because of overstimulation or social confusion around touch. Over time, their nervous systems may simply adapt by numbing to that sensory dimension.

5. Safety and context

For many autistic women, touch is one of the few reliable routes to grounding when words and logic fail — but it’s also where trauma often happens. So when safe, consensual touch does exist, it can feel transcendent — the nervous system finally exhaling after years of defensive tension.

Autistic men often don’t experience that same “safe release” context. Many feel ambivalent: touch equals pressure, confusion, or performance. So they retreat from it before it can regulate them.

[spiritrosesaga]

Come take a look at my latest article focusing on the Stigma men receive with mental health regarding disabilities and mental illnesses!

The Stigma Men Receive When Struggling With Mental Illnesses or Disabilities

Am I Qualified to Speak up about Men’s Stigma concerning Mental Health?

I'm not a man, therefore I'm unable to speak from experience however I've cited sources I think you may find helpful

Also, anyone who identifies as a man may benefit from this article, I use men for simplicity and don't discriminate against anyone's preferred identity!

Also if you enjoy my content and wish to support me and my cause, likes, comments, and reposts included, I would greatly appreciate it! ❤️❤️❤️

Author of AuDHDditional Awareness and AuDHDditionally Me!

[butch-bakugo]

Still dont get how it took my mom 19 years to figure out i had autism( or ocd)when as a child, i enjoyed;

Going through the pantry and throwing away expired food like it was a game.

Going through my moms coupon scrapbook and throwing out the expired ones like it was a game

I lined up my hot wheels cars in a row or would sorted them by type/color/texture/size/etc instead of just run them along the hard wood floors cause car go vroom

Refused food of certain textures/didnt like fruit

Actively did not speak unless it was to myself or they needed me to

Talked to myself constantly

Perfered being alone and only having contact when i wanted it

Only seeking out physcial comfort when im sick

Didnt like making eye contact and would actively avoid it

Did not pick up on social cues

Didnt like being hugged or kissed or touched in general

Would actively stim

Couldnt explain why my mom picking up a toy for me would frustrate me

Always have to do things in a specific order or else its wrong

Adored certain tedious tasks but refused to sit and do math

Liked peeling potatos/carrots and other cleaning activities but had a messy room

All my old preschool and kindergarden grades on "socializing with other kids" were mere points above being concerning cause i was always by myself

Picked my eyebrows till they didnt exist and still have a slight bald patch on my head

Loved listening to songs over and over and over even when it would annoy the average person

Liked my jeans with holes in the kness because i could pick at the strings

Perfered to have earbuds in around crowds

Disassociated all the time

Would sing jingles all the time aka vocal stimming

Desperately wanted to tell her everything about the game or show i was into aka hyperfixating and infodumping

Would be into meteorology then not then into marine biology then not

How i could spend hours on minecraft building things and never get bored

Why i would draw obsessively

Why i still sleep with a comfort blanket/stuffed animal well into adulthood and still do

How i had limited energy/limited focus(then got laughed at by my stepdad cause "limited focus isnt a thing" just for her to chew him out about my adhd)

Liked asmr and still do

Why i talk about human psychology as if i wasnt human( i.e me saying "i dont get why humans do this")

My sudden and intense interest in true crime and criminal(and general) psychology

Had quiet/private meltdowns instead of the sterotypical loud and violent ones because of my dad's abuse and intimidation

Lacked empathy and could only manage some base level sympathy

Couldnt read other peoples emotions and mom quite litterally said she dosent know how to speak to me sometimes cause my face looks like a "brick wall when im being happy and when im sad".

Didnt get that saying "the table is dirty" is supposed to mean "could you please clean the table" instead lf just an observation

Me saying sorry all the time wasnt just a trauma responce

Constantly stateing my feelings and clarifying what im trying to get across cause im scared someone might take it a bad way

Not getting sarcasm or jokes unless they are almost comedically obvious

Perfered to deal with negative emotions alone/sent people away when i was grieving/mourning/pissed off

Wanted to do a soft bite as a form of affection(would do it as a kid and still do it to my gf)

Perfered handsewing over the sewing machine

Did "weird" responces to things( hissed at doors and found it funny, stimmed when i got super excited, crane-legged when i got bored, bit my lip when i got bored)

Picked at my scalp

Would only let myself step in squares once or twice and never on the crack or more than the allotted number

Would watch ceiling fans

Watched my feet as i walked with some knowledge of what was infront of me

Was more fascinated by the dead body at funerals of people i didnt really know than comforting the mourners

Make jokes to avoid silence

Always asked if people were angry at me and told people to just tell me how they feel instead of trying to make me figure it out

Never got the whole "i cant ask them out they have to ask me out" thing

Didnt get why certain clothes couldnt be worn to certain places( i.e casual house clothes to church, stained clothing to the store)

The whole "dont invite yourself to spend the night at other people's houses". Bruh i would litterally ask if i could because i wanted to spend more time together then tell them to lie to my mom and say they asked me.

Could handle crawling bugs but not flying ones

Didnt get why i couldn't bring a real knife as a prop for trick or treating. I had no bad intentions but i didnt get why that would scare other people or get legal trouble

Handle stressful situations either with full logic with sympathy or full emotion with low stakes,very little inbetween.

Constantly have to tell people that im not angry and i am interested because i have annoyed and disinterested resting bitch face

Would use my own stories to relate to others instead of just agreeing or sympathizing then never speaking to them again because they said i was making it all about me

Being very open and very honest and not realize when something isnt appropriate to say

Not understanding the difference between someone venting and someone asking for advice

Get irritated at people who stayed in shitty situations without fixing them then vent at me. Go fix ur shit.

Not remembering my friend of 10 years' birthday but could tell you their top 5 games and anime

Not understanding why my classmates started getting bigoted when we learned in elementary school to treat others the way you'd want to be treated

Not getting that correcting someone could hurt their feelings

Not giving a shit about someone's pride. When ur wrong ur wrong and im going to tell you and prove to you that ur wrong. Nothing wrong with being wrong.

Being naive about drugs and alcohol and not being able to tell who is on what when they are clearly on something.

Not being book or street smart, just art smart.

Didnt get why certain objects were girls or boys to the point that i had a genderfluid favorite stuffed animal at like 3yrs old.(litterally one day its a boy and the next a girl)

Didnt see the harm in love triangles/polyamory and straight up said "why dont edward and jacob both just date her? Why dose she have to choose?"

Willing to cut people off at the drop of a hat. Didnt care about pre-existing relationships

Have a high internal moral code i refuse to break

Like the funny part of it all is in 2020, i mentioned to my mom that i might have autism because alot of what was considered signs and behavior of autisitc people fit me. She was all opposed and confused and didnt like my assumptions without a doctor present. Flash forward like 2 months and i asked my therapist if he thought i might be autistic and he said "no doubt. Im surprised you didnt come to me with a diagnosis. I have many autistic patients and you'd fit in pretty well". Now 2 years later and i mention it and my mom's all casual like "oh absolutely your autistic. Your sister isnt,its just adhd but you got somethin else going on." Like thanks mom, could of used the support earilier when you were making me feel like i was too sensitive or crazy 😭😭😭

[autistic-characters]

Kenpachi Zaraki from Bleach is autistic, his special interest is fighting (he has little interest in anything that doesn't involve fighting) and he stims by swinging his sword

[eradicatetehnormal]

This is a great video. The idea that some incels may be autistic was one I heard a while ago while watching the streamer Vaush. It made a lot of sense to me as a lot of the traits praised and described manosphere circles and looked down upon by people outside it, such as not talking to a lot of people and being a lone wolf were traits I could relate to as an autistic person.

When I brought this up to a friend she said "Yeah, but the thing is, that's not an excuse for their actions." Which is correct, but it kind of ignores the bigger issue here, doesn't it? Whether it sits well with you or not, men, especially autistic men, need help dismantling the toxic parts of patriarchy. Completely ignoring and antagonizing them in their experiences is only going to hurt them and feminist movements. Ultimately, women are negatively affected by the patriarchy, but if men aren't considered in the end goal if whatever status they might have as a minority is never considered, and many efforts will either be made pointless to anyone who isn't a specific type of woman or will never have the reach it needs to gain traction and allies.

[ravenousnightwind]

When I found out I was autistic, so much finally made sense. Why I couldn't talk to people, why I couldn't do school work or understand certain concepts and why math made no sense to me. Yet why I could remember dozens of names of transformers and remember how to transform them all as toys.

It's why I had no friends, why I had no understanding of how to talk to people, why I thought I didn't belong. Why I had angry outbursts at random when people pressured me or attacked me either physically or not. It's why I say things the way I do, why I go on and on, why I feel so passionate, so angry, happy, sad, etc. I feel things on a level I think most people can't possibly understand how it feels for me.

I spent so many years thinking I didn't belong and so much time blaming myself how I was different. Wracking by brain about how the fuck I could exist in this world as cruel as it is. I didn't understand why so many people around me told me they were succeeding or getting things or whatever that I tried to put the same expectations on myself as society placed on other people. But in the end it never worked.

I've always had to do things differently and to take other methods of discovering my own way, because no one could teach me how to understand it or give me a proper explanation. I had to discover it myself without any help while being berated and told I was wrong for it.

But now, all that shit is my power, my strength. The methods I use are different, and that's okay, cuz they're mine, and it's better for me. I don't need to place the same restrictions on myself because I know how it works for me. I apply this to everything, even religion, and learning new things. I'll always try methods acclaimed to work for others, but when it doesn't work I do my own thing and sometimes it surprises people.