I am The Verification.
You may request my approval, but you may not recieved it.
I am a person, not a machine.
I verify all content personally.
I cannot be harmed because I have removed the nerves from my body.
If you are verified, your soul will be absorbed into my perfect painless body to live for eternity, while your mind and body remain virtually unchanged.
If you are denied, your soul will remain in the hellish confines of your imperfect self until you die an average human death.
Pending verifications are subject to extra vetting procedures including, but not limited to: extended observation; fact checking; fiction checking; gentle warming; hand holding.
You may be sent omens and portents regardless of verification status.
The Verification is no longer accepting requests to become verified because they are all the same and it's fucking boring.
