Just Me

[anonbeadraws]

Look, taako might not be good with the words, but you know, i think ango gets that Mr From Tee-vee shows love in other ways, if he cooks for you, you probably have a bit of his heart.  Angus just also wants it in writing 💜

From this post, but i had to go a step further and make it sappy, sure me ✨commission info in source link below✨

[theonion]

As they shooed a herd of giraffes into a nearby bathroom, workers told reporters Friday that they were frantically scrambling to hide all of the San Diego Zoo’s animals ahead of a visit from the landlord. “He texted an hour ago saying he was dropping in to check the garbage disposal, so we’ve been running around cleaning up evidence of the 12,000 rare and endangered animals we’ve got living here,” senior zookeeper Allison Weepie said while lighting a scented candle to cover the stench of snakes, Gila monsters, and tortoises in the reptile exhibit.

Full Story

[papayafromtv]

i love BAMF 10 yr old Damian who can clock everybody's shit, but there is also something so funny to me about dumb-bitch-child Damian. like i need there to be a world where. hold on no i just need to write the conversation hold on

-

*Damian, out of nowhere on patrol one night*

Damian: you know.., there was a solid 2 year period at the league compound where i thought you were Batman.

Jason:

Jason: what?

Damian: yeah- ‘cause like, i was seven. and i met you for the first time after you came out the pit and were all big already. and i didn’t know anything about my father apart from, like, what my mother told me of him, right? and so when i met you, and i never actually heard anybody call you your name—just Mother referring to you as ‘one of Gotham’s greatest heroes’ and everybody calling you ‘prince’, in my little seven-year-old head, i was like ‘ok so this must be him then’.

Jason: what the fuck.

Damian: well you looked a lot like him. i’d only ever seen one grainy photo of the man taken from a distance and you fit the description; same build, hair, eyes, broody manner and passion for justice. you were everything i’d ever thought Batman was supposed to be, so when Mother started giving you special treatment and demanding you be treated like somebody important within the league, i thought that was just her lingering affection for an ex.

Jason:

Jason: is that why you made me teach you how to ride a bike?

Damian: yeah i was trying to make up for lost time.

Damian: i don’t know how you didn’t pick up on it—i called you Father like, religiously.

Jason: …to be honest i just wasn’t fluent in Arabic yet. when i finally did figure out that’s what you were saying i just assumed you were making a dig at the fact that i slept with Talia that one time.

Damian: yeah that was- can i be honest with you? i set that up.

Jason:

Jason: what.

Damian: originally Mother wasn’t going to meet with you in person that night, she was going to send a messenger in place, but i snuck into her chambers and edited her schedule so she’d be in the area anyway and would go see you herself.

Jason:

Damian: then i ordered food for where you were saying online in the hopes that you'd chat and realise you still loved each other.

Jason: that’s where those oysters came from-!

Damian: yeah i didn’t- i didn’t actually realise how problematic you and her being together was until after i came to Gotham. i was just trying to have a parent-trap moment and get my mom and dad back together, you know? i didn’t know you were seventeen, i just thought the Lazarus Pit had made you look more youthful than before.

Jason:

Jason, dryly: because famously, as you can tell by looking at Ra’s, that’s what the Lazarus Pit does.

Damian: listen i was eight.

Damian: -and i didn’t force you guys to do anything—this is still on my Mother for going with it; and for bad communication. if she had at any point spoken to me clearly about my father then that misunderstanding wouldn’t have ever happened.

Jason: so… when did you figure out I wasn’t Bruce Wayne…?

Damian:

Damian: well… it was complicated?

Jason: which means?

Damian: it means at first Mother told me i was just going to Gotham with you, which made me think, like, ‘yay, i get to go home with Dad’ right? and then we got to Gotham and saw Batman and Robin out and you started getting mad at a ‘replacement’, and i thought you were mad because your Robin replaced you with a new Batman.

Jason, incredulous: oh my god.

Damian: -yeah, but then we had that whole confrontation with them during patrol where you told Batman i was his son and that Talia Al Ghul wanted you to put me in his care, and i was just standing behind you like… what fucking game are you playing here Father?

Jason: *snort* you didn’t- that didn’t fucking tip you off?

Damian: no! i was like 2 years deep into this belief at this point, nothing was gonna shake me. i came to the conclusion that you were sending me in as a spy or something, so i went along with it. we got back to Wayne Manor and Pennyworth greeted Batman by saying ‘welcome back, Master Bruce’ and i got really mad at Tim because i was like ‘oh so not only did he replace Batman but he did it with the first fat fuck he found with the same first name, huh.’

Jason: *wheeze*

Damian: so i didn’t really try to kill Tim because i wanted Robin; i was doing it for your, the original Batman’s, honour.

Jason: oh my god????

Damian: ...yeah. i didn't- ok, honestly? i didn't really clock that you weren't the original Batman until after you unmasked yourself in front of everyone for the first time.

Jason: -EXCUSE ME-?

Damian: because- BECAUSE, in the league everybody just called you by 'prince' or 'the Gotham boy', and then in Gotham nobody knew your identity so everybody just called you Red Hood. it wasn't until you revealed your identity to the family and everybody started crying about some 'Jason Todd' that was still alive that i came to the realisation that nobody had ever point blank told me your name was Bruce Wayne.

Jason, in awe: wait- wait oh my god i do remember you being really fucking quiet during that whole reveal..,

Damian: yeah i was- i was coming to terms with a lot of stuff in that moment.

Jason: WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?!

Damian: what am i, stupid? looking back a year or so later, yeah it's a funny memory of how stupid i was as a kid. in the moment? you couldn't have fucking waterboarded that info out of me.

Jason:

Jason: you know. it does kinda- oh my god it makes so much sense now,

Damian: what does?

Jason: Tim told me the first time they let you in the Batcave he watched you walk up to my memorial case, read the plaque, and then loudly go, 'who the fuck is Jason Todd'. and i always thought that was real fuckin' weird considering i'm your emergency contact.

Damian: *wheezes*

Jason: were you disappointed that the fake-Bruce was your actual dad, then?

Damian: honestly i was more troubled at the realisation that i'd actively participated in the action of trying to get my mother and adoptive brother to bang.

Jason:

Jason:

Jason: alright that's fair,

[thefoxnine]

I'm re-blogging because this is funny but this is not canon for me I refuse it in every universe

[mrlovenstein]

Secret Panel HERE ✨ patreon.com/posts/99334862

[ciricearts]

whoops he fell asleep

[papayafromtv]

conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 69 (masterpost here) (league days)

Damian: ok one more, quickly before Father shows up.

Dick: you should release this app y'no littlewing, it's honestly impressive that you coded it by yourself.

Jason: stop trying to get my league days app code, i told you i'm not letting you skip ahead.

Dick, whining: come on,,,

Tim: shut up and give us the next one.

*distant car alarm*

Jason: ...d'you reckon that's a robbery alarm or a 'pigeon just flew into my parked car's windshield' alarm?

Tim: i... *deep sigh* honestly my arms are really tired from pulling a double-patrol; let's just say pigeon alarm so i don't have to stand up again.

Damian: can't wait for that news article. 'Robin, Red Robin, Red Hood and Nightwing spotted sitting on a roof playing an ice breaker game while two streets away the Joker steals a car with a baby inside from it's weeping mother'.

Jason: *snort* 'when questioning Batman on his co-workers clear apathy to the suffering of Gotham's people, our great protector responded 'they thought it was a pigeon''.

Tim: *snicker*

Dick: well, i hear no screams and the Joker's dead, so i'm gonna go ahead and say we're good for the next few minutes. hit us, Day.

*long pause of silence*

Jason, wryly: why are you lookin' at me like that? what does it say?

Damian, audibly exasperated: 'i've always been quite pleased with the fact that nobody ever questioned my decision to be a vegetarian, because it's very embarrassing to explain'.

*another pause*

Tim: oh for fuck's sake-

Jason, already laughing: what- what's wrong-?

Tim, flat: no.

Dick: *amused* whaddya mean no,

Tim: no- because you know how unfair this bullshit is? i can't even decide if it's more helpful to play this game in person or just over the ear pieces, because they're- THEY'RE FUCKING LOOKING AT EACH OTHER,

Jason: *wheeze*

Tim: -LIKE WHAT DOES THAT FACE MEAN?

Damian: *quietly chuckling* i don't- it doesn't mean anything, Drake. it's fine,

Tim: no- that has to be, like, you're looking at him because you're pissed about how vague he made the lie. Jay made the lies and you made the truths, so if you're looking at him like that it has to be a lie.

Dick: don't- fuckin' *light wheeze* stop ruining the game before it even starts! even if it is a lie, are you not curious about what the fuck he comes up with?

Tim: no. i've learned, Dick. the best way to get out of this game calmly is to just use your instincts and shut it down straight away. it's my new strategy, ok? i'm hacking the code.

Dick: *wheeze*

Jason, fighting back laughter: well you don't- i don't think you can make that assumption, you know? letting Damian pick all the truths in the game is a big responsibility, who knows what he'd avoid writing down just to get out of talking about it. maybe i slipped a few more truths in there to force it out of him; maybe that's why he's glaring at me.

*a beat*

Damian: *wheeze*

Tim: no fuck off, you aren't just changing the way the game works, that's not allowed.

Damian: w- it's a made up game, Timothy, what are you talking about?

Tim: *incredulous huff of laughter* no! no, this is a lie. nay, end of, i'm out. you aren't getting me with this one.

Dick: pussy. Damian, why is it embarrassing that you're a vegetarian?

Damian: *snort* uh,

Tim, mocking: -oh do you not remember? shocking.

Damian: *wheeze* it's because i became a vegetarian after losing a bet.

Dick, curiously: wait so it wasn't your choice?

Damian: no, i actually used to love eating meat.

Jason: that's what she- *quieter* no i can't make that joke in reference to a young child, my bad.

Dick: *abrupt cackle* JASON.

Damian, also laughing: fuck you.

Tim: are you actually claiming you don't eat meat ever, all because you lost a bet as a child?

Dick: yeah, what fucking bet was this? what happened?

Jason: *snicker*

Damian: *sigh* so, Jason had to take some of his men to one of the villages near the compound, i'll admit i can't really remember why,

Tim: convenient.

Dick: *laughs*

Damian: -i just remember that everybody seemed to think the reason they'd been sent was bullshit. i'm fairly sure my grandfather had sent them and they were just going to make him stop talking about it or something? so they weren't actually doing anything, they just went to the village and were hanging out, talking to the locals and stuff. and Jason thought it would be a good opportunity to get me out of the compound for a few hours, so he snuck me out and took me with them.

Dick: this village- was this like, a normal village, or a league connected village, or…?

Damian: normal. or- er, *pause* i guess you could say league connected? it was basically- the compound was very far from modern civilisation, but although Grandfather didn’t want the world to know he existed, he did want to take advantage of some modern supplies,

Jason: -cause he’s a fuckin’ hypocrite-

Damian: -so you keep telling him- anyway, there’s quite a few settlements and small civilisations or villages within on-foot travel distance, and although they’re all local and technically not affiliated with the league, he does use some of those villages as supply drop offs or neutral meeting spots, so like… they are kinda connected but only in the way that an amazon warehouse would be connected to Jason’s phone. y’know?

Jason: leave me and my fucking amazon app alone.

Dick: ok so the people living there-?

Damian: not league employees.

Dick: got it. so you and Jason are at this village, not working.

Damian: exactly.

Dick: what happens next?

Damian: well, one of the most recent shipments Grandfather was having Jason’s men oversee was weaponry; guns and rifles and stuff. so, because they’re all childish idiots, Jason and his most trusted squadron start playing with the guns.

Jason: *snort*

Damian: one of the locals we were more familiar with used to make these clay statues, like little animals, y’know? and Jason blew i think, like, six months of his pay on ridiculously overpaying for a bunch of these little clay birds.

Tim: hold on- you actually got paid at the loa?

Jason: *disinterested noise* i mean i guess you could argue it was more my allowance, but yeah.

Tim: unbelievable. we don’t get paid.

Dick, dry: Tim you inherited millions from your parents.

Tim: still.

Dick: ok- anyway, what happened with the clay birds.

Damian: they were taking in turns using them as targets while trying out the rifles, you know- like clay pigeon shooting? and i decided i wanted to try.

Dick: shooting?

Damian: yes. i didn’t have that much practice with guns at that point, because Grandfather preferred i sharpen my more traditional combat abilities. but i was young, and i wanted to copy Jason and his friends, i guess.

Dick: Jason- what face even is that?

Jason: i’m- i’m *audible struggling not to laugh* just shut up- leave me alone, i’m not part of this.

Dick: uh- *wheeze* ok, so Day, did he let you use the gun?

Damian: he thought it would be a bad idea, but i was… insistent.

Jason: *whimper*

Tim, flatly: why the fuck wouldnt he want you using a gun? he gives you guns now,

Damian: when i was younger i was… more sensitive to animals, and i had a tendency to get attached. *pause* to objects. occasionally.

Dick: waddaya mean?

Jason, muffled, high pitched: ‘e ‘ad a pet rock,

Dick, in disbelief: what??

Damian: LOOK,

Jason: *wheezes uncontrollably*

Damian, over him: LISTEN. you already know i was like, never allowed out of the compound. i didn’t speak to people that weren’t assassins, i didn’t get much alone time, and attachments were very much not encouraged. i was… a little bit behind, on my emotional affection regulation, i guess. i wasn’t allowed to care about any pets or guards because, well, they could die at any time. so, i would get attached to objects instead.

Jason: -yeah, you say that; you did also get attached to the animals and guards around the compound, you just refused to fuckin’ admit it. it was like you thought you’d be punished for smiling at Isla in the kitchens, but screaming bloody murder any time any of us tried to separate you from the fuckin’ snake skull you found and decided was your friend—oh that was ok.

Tim, amused: you made friends with a snake skull?

Damian: your parents are dead and they hated you when you were alive, mind your business.

Dick: *abrupt cackle*

Tim: man, fuck you.

Dick: ok- ok stop, you still haven’t even said what the bet was.

Damian: *sigh* well Jason thought i’d get attached to the clay birds, and that i’d throw a tantrum when they then got shot, so he didn’t want me using the gun in case i got sad. and i told him he was being ridiculous, because he was, and i’d be fine. and we argued back and forth for a while until Jason eventually threw out something like ‘you’re so fucking sensitive to this shit, it’s a wonder you even eat chicken.’

Tim: stop laughing.

Jason, high pitched: m- trying,

Damian: and i think at this point i must have been like, seven. so i’m instantly like, ‘what are you talking about, chicken is great, you’re an idiot’. and Jason goes ‘yeah, chicken is great until you’re the one killing and preparing the bird, and that’s what this basically is you know, we’re shooting fake birds.’ and i’m a little rebel, right? so i get in his face and i’m like ‘i could do that easily, you’re just a coward.’

Dick: oooh~

Damian: yeah- by the way? *amused* i’m seven and he’s fresh out the pit. ‘in his face’ is him sitting on the floor cross-legged so i can reach him.

Dick and Tim: *wheeze*

Damian: yeah. and he goes ‘ok then, how about when you do get sad that the target is dead, you aren’t ever allowed to eat chicken again.’ and then he adds on ‘even better, you’re never allowed to eat meat again’. and i’m like, you’re on. and i take the rifle.

Jason: *barely audible snickers, clearly muffled*

Dick: see- i know you said about the ‘Damian didn’t know it, so clearly Jason wrote it and it’s a lie thing’, but i dunno if Jay would laugh this hard if it was a made up story,

Tim: are you kidding me? Jason thinks Damian’s the funniest motherfucker on the planet, he’ll laugh at anything Damian says, it’s honestly annoying. plus, if you think this is true then you’re saying you believe that the only reason Damian does not and will not EVER eat meat, is just because he said he wouldn’t get sad when a clay bird broke, and then got sad anyway.

Dick: …he has a point. like i know how good an actor Day is, there’s no way you couldn’t have just pretended not to be sad.

Damian: well- *snort* well hold on now, because i never said that’s what happened.

Jason: *weeps*

Damian: …i should probably specify that this wasn’t Jason’s fault. he didn’t know that it would happen, so he didn’t like- he didn’t set it up.

Dick: wait, what happened?

Damian: i had the rifle, and i aimed it up so one of Jason’s men could throw the clay bird and i could shoot it, right? except what we didn’t realise, was that one of the other locals bred and raised doves as a hobby,

Dick, gasping: no,

Damian: and one of them happened to get free,

Jason: *muffled choking noise*

Damian: so little seven year old me expected to shoot a piece of rock with no further consequences, hit a bullseye, and was suddenly engulfed in an explosion of blood, bird organs, and feathers. and the dove died in front of me.

Dick, in awe: oh my god???

Jason: *starts wheezing louder*

Damian, also holding back laughter: and so- and so- Jason fuck off, *laugh* and so i started crying, throwing up, just losing it—Jason had to take like forty-five minutes to calm me down and wipe the blood off my face, he had to pay for the dove,

Dick, incredulous: he had to pay for the dove-!

Damian: he took me back to the compound while i was clinging to his neck, and i just refused to be let down all day. Mother was furious with him, and i remember all of Jason’s subordinates taking turns trying to cheer me up while i was like, clinging to Jason’s chest.

Dick: oh my god,

Damian: yeah, and then after all that i sat down to dinner, still a little shaken, and we had boiled chicken. and i still remember reaching out my like, trembling hand to grab my fork—and Jason just slides the plate away, looks me dead in the eyes, and he goes ‘not for you, we had a deal.’ and-

Dick and Jason: *instantly lose it*

*loud, echoing cackles*

Damian, barely audible over them: -AND EVER SINCE THEN, I HAVE BEEN HONOUR BOUND.

Dick: THAT’S SO- *cough* THAT’S SO MEAN,

Jason: *noiseless wheezing*

Tim, flat: and again, it’s a nice story. creative, sure, but it is a lie.

*hands slapping against concrete*

Damian: Jason- shut up,

Jason: *high-pitched laughter-*

Dick: well- *cough* wait, hold on, Tim, Tim, because- *wheeze*

Tim: what.

Dick: it’s just- listen, i hate to be the bearer of bad news, but… do you remember like, a while ago, where we were talking about Damian not having friends growing up? and Jason was telling us about his closest subordinates? *pause* ……didn’t he mention that Damian shot a dove?

*silence*

Jason: *breathless gasps for air*

Dick: ‘cause that wasn’t part of the game, so there’s no reason for him to have lied. if this is- if this is that incident…. then what are the chances of it being true?

Damian: *snort* uh, i’m gonna need a yay or a nay from you both now.

*silence*

Dick: Tim?

*more silence*

Dick, amused: Tim, do you smell toast?

Tim, very quietly: don’t wanna play the stupid game anymore.

Dick: *mid-laugh* Tim-

Tim, abruptly, very loud: NO.

Damian: that’s what i said when i shot the dove.

Jason: *wheezes again*

*crashing sounds* *screeching* *yelling*

Tim: YOU CHANGED THE RULES-

Jason: GET HIM OFF ME-

Dick: TIM-

[sourkreem]

jason todd why the fuck are your biceps the size of my thighs

[thefoxnine]

So he can run on his hands and make people think he's a headless monster chasing them ooga booga style

[thefoxnine]

Too lazy to draw this credit to Jorge jimenes(z??) and random post on tumblr for the shirt I forgot to write down the name I'm sorry!

[incorrectbatfamandfriends]

Headcanon that since Jason can’t go out with his family publicly, what he does instead is show up in random disguises.

Bruce is chatting up some socialites at a gala, talking about the joys of fatherhood and how rewarding it is. Meanwhile he made eye contact with Jason disguised as a waiter twenty minutes ago, and is currently trying to stop his eye from twitching.

Dick is speaking to a third grade class as a part of the Bludhaven Police department outreach program, except when he walks in Jason is sitting behind the teachers desk, playing the role of substitute.

Babs can’t help but stare when Jason hands her a coffee from behind the counter of her favorite coffee shop. (His name tag reads Peter, and for a second she thinks she’s actually lost it).

Tim walks into Wayne Towers one day and on his way in, he waves to his secretary- lo and behold Marjorie has been replaced by Jason. It takes him three hours to notice.

Cass walks into ballet class to discover her teacher had to take a sick day- his replacement is Jason in a beret who talks in a terrible French accent the entire class, only to drop it at the very end to talk in a thick New Jersey accent. Her entire class talks about it for weeks.

Stephanie hails a cab on her way home one night, only to find Jason driving. She’s not sure how he pulled it off or how he got a cab, but her mind is effectively blown.

Duke is on a school trip to the natural history museum, and when the tour guide introduces himself, Duke can’t help but role his eyes. Jason gives a surprisingly good tour, even throwing in some tidbits about a robbery that went down just last week that the Signal stopped.

Damian’s encounter happens when he’s with Jon in metropolis. He’s watching Jon play baseball, and when Jon steps up to bat, he can’t help but notice a the umpire looks a little familiar.

[ghosty-bee]

Okay but this is so funny.

Imagine Red Hood is either off the crimelord scene or he's established himself so well that his little crime empire basically runs itself. Which is great! Except it's not, because now he has nothing to do.

Jason is a plotter, okay? And it's not like he needs to maintain a day job or a civilian identity or anything. But he's bored, so his first instinct is obviously going to be bugging his family in the most obscure and convoluted way possible.

He's playing the long con here, so he starts small; just nearby disguises that don't directly interact with his family. Just enough for them to catch a glimpse of him in the corner of their eye, thus getting them to spend the rest of the day trying to figure out if it was Jason or not. On the one hand; they're fairly certain it was. But on the other hand; why would Jason be a set assistant for this talk show Brucie was invited onto??? Does he need money? Is he on a case?? Why didn't he say anything??? (If anyone actually asks Jason about these appearances, he 1000% denies and gaslights them).

While he's making his ambiguous appearances, he starts leaving references to himself hidden in plain sight that would only mean something the family.

Someone turns in a lost library card to Babs, and when she checks the name, it belongs to a Mr. Jay Darcy. She finds another one a month later belonging to someone straight up named Todd J. Peters.

There's a kid in Damian's art club named Javier Tolkien who never shows up, and he's removed from the attendance roll. A few weeks later, another kid joins but never makes an appearance. His name is apparently Jacob Tovenmire. This keeps happening.

Duke often finds notes in his lockers that consist of various scribbled drawings that no one has been able to entirely decode, beyond the fact that they are all vaguely threatening. They are always signed by red ink smudge that looks vaguely like Red Hood's helmet.

Dick keeps getting witness reports from numerous people with the name Jason. They are all real people, who are all legitimate witnesses for various crimes. But it's weird that he has 6 separate case files on his desk, and each one has a key witness named Jason.

Tim was halfway through approving negotiations to buy out a small tech manufacturer when he stopped to squint at the name of the company's founder; one Sir Rob Robinson II. (The company suddenly vanishes between one day and the next, leaving Tim wondering if the whole thing had been a sleep-deprived hallucination).

Then Jason starts being more overt about it. At first, his disguises are extremely elaborate and well done, making everyone stare at him in the corner of their eye repeatedly, trying to decide if it's actually Jason in disguise or if it's just a bizarre coincidence. He makes sure to take his time, slowly building up the frequency of appearances. I'm talking months of his family sitting there like "I swear to God the barista at the drive-thru today looked like Jason but if Jason was a 50-year-old hipster," and "Hey does Jason speak Canadian-French? Or own any flannel? Because a maple syrup salesman accosted me on the street today, and I could have sworn he had Jason's eyes."

He also makes sure his appearances are made when he knows they are extremely busy/preoccupied/distracted, or exhuasted/unwell (not on their A-game), adding to the uncertainty.

"I mean, it could have been Jason dressed in drag, but also it was dark, I was very drunk, and I didn't know Jason is into drag? Is he into drag?" Steph asks Dick, nursing a hangover. Dick has no idea if Jason is into drag. His following attempts to find out backfire, and Dick ends up in drag for a night out. It was so much fun he forgets to find out if Jason likes drag.

After a while, Jason starts getting low-budget and lazy with the disguises, but at this point, his family has had months of potential Jason and Jason look-alike encounters, that the sight of 3rd grade substitute Jason or fake-French ballet Jason is just one of those Things™️. The sky is blue, the ocean is salty, and Gotham has a disproportionate amount of Jason look-alikes.

At first Jason was annoyed he was –yet again– too good at his job and managed to somehow alter his family's perception of reality, but he also stubbornly refuses to give up. Eventually, Jason learns to enjoy witnessing his family in various settings without any other family around. The ways they act differently, and the things that stay the same (the way Damian scrutinizes potential still-life scenes, whether he's on a class trip or as Robin, or the way Steph will tug at her sleeves if she's nervous but still feeling safe enough to display the weakness, whereas how the tic will vanish in front of a true threat, or the way Cass steps back to let the world wash over her, readjusting to the crowd around her), it all fascinates him.

And Jason has always been the kind of person who didn't need to be constantly doing something with someone to enjoy their company. He's like a cat that way; as long as they're in the same room together, he thinks they're hanging out.

It eventually comes out that it's been him all along, probably when he finally slips up and comments on something that happened during the day that he definitely should not have known about, but ideally it's a stupid amount of time later. Like, 2 years since he first started doing this. And the batfamily ain't even mad about it. They're embarrassed it took all of them this long to put it all together, but mostly? They're just relieved they haven't lost their minds in seeing Jason everywhere they look.

[bedupolker]

She should be at the club

Baby mouse had earplugs in the sketch and I straight up forgot to ink them pretend they're deep in there

Meanwhile not at the club:

[nickrbg]

Insane pinterest poses (1)

[thefoxnine]

Almost accurate have Tim reaching up to steal Jason's wallet and you got em!

[blignick]

[thefoxnine]

Me trying to get into doors on adopt me Roblox with a stroller equipped

[papayafromtv]

conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 66 (masterpost here)

Damian: *heavy breathing*

Damian: *grunt* *air whooshing* *grunt*

Damian: *harsh, pounding footsteps*

Damian: *heavy breathing*

*2 connecting pings*

Tim: *equally fast footsteps* ROBIN KNOCK IT OFF.

Jason: seriously- *amused chuckle* what the fuck are you doin' kiddo?

Damian: *grunt* *rushing footsteps*

Tim: WHY WON'T YOU- YOU'VE BEEN CHASING ME FOR TWENTY MINUTES WHY WONT YOU FUCKING TELL ME WHY?!

Damian: *grunt*

Tim: n- *huff* no- i'm not- IM NOT FUCKING STOPPING UNTIL YOU TELL ME WHY.

Jason: *snickering* this is fucking- this is amazing. i dunno what it is but it's great.

Tim: WHY AREN'T YOU- STOP FILMING, HOOD-

Jason: dude, seriously, just stop running away. what's the worst he does, stab you?

Tim: W- YES?!?!

Damian: *panting, rushing footsteps, grapple going off*

Tim: oh my GOD- FINE. ROBIN. ROBIN? I'M GONNA STOP ON THAT ROOFTOP. DO NOT FUCKING HURT ME OR I'M CALLING BATMAN.

*scrape of gravel*

*silence*

*harsh slapping sound*

Tim: ACK-

Jason: ohohoho that was LOUD man, i woulda heard that from all the way over here even without the coms.

Tim: THE FUCK DID YOU SLAP ME FOR?!

Damian: *panting*

*a beat*

Damian, gasping for breath: yellow car, no returns.

*long stretch of silence*

Tim, dangerously calm: excuse me?

Damian: *rushing footsteps, grapple going off, loud wind*

Jason: *instant loud cackles* OH MY- HOLY FUCK-

Tim: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

*disconnecting ping*

Tim: ROBIN.

Jason: *genuinely losing his entire shit* I CAN'T- *wheeze* *high-pitched* i can't- oh my god Robin,

Tim, completely serious: i'm gonna fucking kill him when we get home.

Jason: *still wheezing* i'm so- i'm so proud of how i raised that child, oh my god,

Tim: fuck you Hood.

Jason, weeping: i'm putting this on youtube,

Tim: NO.

[papayafromtv]

mmmm immortal jason but he doesn't figure it out until after he rejoins the batfamily. and he's also really fucking chill about it.

he figures out he's gonna Keep Coming Back no matter what when Alfred asks him to help clean the roof and while alone scrubbing out gutters he fucks up and falls off the ladder; completely snaps his neck.

he wakes up like twenty minutes later all healed and instead of freaking out, he decides that he's been through so much shit and his life is already so goddamn weird that honestly? so what if he can't die.

still concerns the fuck out of the rest of the family when jason wanders in a few hours later rubbing out the crick in his neck and when bruce asks how the roof went he goes "yeah, gutters clean. also i think i fixed death?"

"...jason what could that possibly mean." dick asks from across the room. jason shrugs.

"I dunno. fixed it."

he continues to make vague-ass uncaring comments that baffle the fuck out of everybody for the next few weeks, and they don't figure out what the hell he's talking about until one patrol they get into one of those tricky 'locked in a room and have to pick one of you to die' situations and jason just whistles, goes "man this would suck if i hadn't already fixed death," and then proceeds to shoot himself in the face in front of all the horrified bats.

he wakes up fifteen minutes later to bruce and dick having a shared panic attack on the floor, tim desperately trying to calm them down, and damian standing over him looking supremely disappointed as he goes "fucking 'fixed death' todd?? that's the only way you could think of phrasing it? i thought your special interest was fucking literacy."

in his defence he never got to finish high school.

[yorgen-sh]

[thefoxnine]

His greed sickens me

[papayafromtv]

im legitimately in love with the briefly visible young justice design for league of assassins member jason todd; like it's my favourite reference for any of his league outfits ever and i will always use it as a mental reference when thinking about him during his league days. HOWEVER one thing that's really important to me is his goggles. because it is very clear that they were just designed by the animators to Look Cool with no other functional logic and i find that so fucking fun

like. why. why does he have three little dots on one side and one big one on the other. why is he an iphone. what technical reason within the universe was there that meant this was the best possible design.

personally, i like to think jason was allowed to make this outfit himself as an art project. he was cuttin' up old red hoodies across the table from where damian was colouring in his notebook with markers. when he got to the eye mask he was like 'shit, what would make me look intimidating?' and the only thing he could see in the room that was even remotely eye-mask-shaped was the old xbox controller tossed on the other side of the room by the tv. when ra's saw him he just sighed and looked at the ground while talia laid a hand on his arm and told him 'relax, father, he must be allowed to express himself however he wants'.

[thefoxnine]

Imagine they're not for him to see out of but for talia to. Like Jason was minimally conscious, likely only following orders unless the show was gonna go a different direction. She's directing this boy like a character in a video game and he can do his cutscenes (react to danger in real time) using his one eye since he probably trained to be able to fight through worse handicaps (like a ship's crew wearing eye patches so one eye is always adjusted to the dark of below deck)

Just gamergirl talia I guess

[unicornconnor]

[unicornconnor]

WTF AHAHAHAH why what's wrong with his shorts 😭😭😭

[thefoxnine]

Give Tim kitten heels ignore the haters (definitely not sent by kon)