[ecstaticadventures]

‘bread is bad for you’ ‘rice is bad for you’ sorry im not subscribing to the idea that staple grains that have been integral to cultures for centuries are evil. i love you carbs

[physics-dirtbag]

Me every single night:

[sparrowthemormon]

Charlie Kirk is scheduled to speak at UVU. I have the opportunity to do the funniest thing of all time

[sparrowthemormon]

IT WASN'T ME I PROMISE

[sapphire-wine]

[sparrowthemormon]

Charlie Kirk is scheduled to speak at UVU. I have the opportunity to do the funniest thing of all time

[sparrowthemormon]

IT WASN'T ME I PROMISE

[sapphire-wine]

[disterbia]

[amrv-5]

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices

[nightonblogmountain]

[axisiishaw]

[tisorridalamor]

Describing Terry Pratchett’s books is difficult. Someone asked me what the book I was reading was about, and I had to tell them it was about banking and the gold standard, but like in a cool way with golems and action. 

 I don’t think they believed me.

[poorlydescribedpterrybooks]

welcome to the club

[amatalefay]

It is so, so difficult to explain to people that your favorite book is about transgender feminist dwarves, Nazi werewolves, and the mystery of a missing piece of really old ritual bread. And Opera saves the day.

[poorlydescribedpterrybooks]

yes, give us those sweet, sweet, terrible descriptions

[rhys1812]

A tortoise who’s really a god, finds an allegory for Jesus and they go on adventures in an ancient greece like place and then a desert 

[thesummoningdark]

The chief of police averts a rerun of an ancient war, partially despite and partially because of being possessed by a dying dwarf’s graffiti

[nightfoot]

It’s like Les Miserables but Javert is the good guy and also there’s time travel.  

[aethersea]

Macbeth but it’s about the witches

[zephyrantha]

Chapter one, the protagonist is hanged. Then he’s put in charge of the post office. Yes, in that order.

[roachpatrol]

it’s like mulan if there were way more mulans in mulan and also pratchett is extra irritated that too many people missed the point of jingo

[hypotheticalwoman]

The bureaucrats of the universe get annoyed at the paperwork humanity causes so they decide to steal Christmas.  Replacement Christmas is done by Death and replacement Death is done by goth Mary Poppins, who is also in charge of the investigation.

[katedrawscomics]

these are all nice and accurate reasons to read discworld if you haven’t yet

[uovoc]

Romeo and Juliet football AU but the other team is wizards

[animate-mush]

Hollywood????

[garrettauthor]

An entire clan of tattooed, hairy, kleptomaniac, alcoholic Scotsmen decide a little girl is their new best friend whether she wants to be or not and she rescues her absolutely worthless brother by discovering the power of selfishness.

[darkravn]

@cosmictwobyfour

[nudityandnerdery]

Someone is dying, journalism is being invented, and part of Pulp Fiction is going on in the background.

[pimpmizziriam]

The universes burocrats want to measure everything so they pay a man to imprison time so everything will stop and they can measure things in peace. Goth mary Poppins saves the day, the fifth horseman of the apocalypse is the best Milkman in the world, and chocolate saves the day. Also someone was born twice.

[tanoraqui]

Classic dynastic machinations are happening in fantasy China, to be completely overturned by a gang of elderly barbarian heroes and the world’s worst wizard and best sprinter

[bailesu]

Death incarnate battles a shopping cart for the fate of the world.  

[sashathephoenix]

@grifalinas

[grifalinas]

Phantom of the Opera au, except there’s witches, a cookbook that is thinly-veiled pornography, and Christine is played by a fledgeling witch with multiple personalities who can’t stop being sensible long enough to enjoy herself

[letslipthehounds]

Hidden heir to the throne decides an cynical, alcoholic cop is the best role model in the world.

[brawltogethernow]

Atlantis provides an excuse for a xenophobia-inspired war between Britain and the Middle East but it’s fine because the armies are arrested for conspiracy to cause public nuisance.

[numberlover1729]

the jfk assassination is parodied in the above.

Rain is brought to australia by a lousy wizzard who runs from dropbears, steals a sheep, and invents vegamite

[dduane]

(sigh)(smile) All of the above.

[scribefindegil]

You can defeat Vampire Fascism with the powers of violence, your debilitating anxiety disorder, and a nice cup of tea

[boogerwookiesugarcookie]

the pied piper is a racket being run by some talking mice and a cat but they accidentally invent socialism. then of course there are also the rat horrors

[stargazing-bookwyrm]

A trio of witches (two of them uninvited) go on a journey to find out how the third one should be a fairy godmother. They run into and out of half-finished stories and manage to encounter a large amount of classic literature unscathed.

[cimminspronuncedcircle]

a cop time travels and has a hard boiled egg

[pippohound]

The hanged conman in charge of the Post is now in charge of the Bank and the Mint, who are technically owned by an incontinent dog now. Stamps lead to the invention of banknotes and now there’s golems everywhere, which is a problem and a solution in itself.

[blackrabbittttt]

The guy who made one of Replacement Death’s forms and experimented in steam power Died and his son created the first train, who is also a god and provides many of the autistic people of Fantasy New York/London a brand new hyperfixation, including the secretary of the most powerful man in Fantasy New York/London. Also the guy that should have been hanged (and is now in charge of the mint/post) is back helping the goblins make a revolution and work for his wife and train company. he takes goblin drugs at least twice and fights on top of a train with the alcoholic cop. dwarf bigots are mad about there being two genders.

[discworld-heritage-posts]

Discworld Heritage Post

[dogpuppy]

[orteil42]

90% of google search ai summaries feel like this guy leaning uncomfortably over your shoulder and pointing at stuff on your screen reading out the exact same text you're already looking at

[pukicho]

Here's my little white son named Craigg

[pukicho]

I feed my white son clear broth

[pukicho]

[caspercryptid]

The really unfortunate thing about mental health progress is that sometimes you realize you've made it in the form of "wow, I haven't felt this bad in a fucking while"

[caspercryptid]

On the one hand it's a bit of a pick me up in a dark place to know that this will pass because it has passed before on the other hand sometimes it isn't entirely a pleasant thought to go "wow, I used to feel like this all the time. That was pretty fucking bad. It's pretty bad right now too also."

[caspercryptid]

Someday your current baseline will be the sort of thing you consider A Really Bad Day. It does get better.

[butshesgotthespirit]

I just finished reading Terry Pratchett’s book Guards! Guards! Nobody told me that Discworld was crack tar heroin AND chicken soup for the soul.

[gingik]

[thirteenjodies]

[i-am-roadrunner]

Sarah Shahi as Sameen Shaw in Person of Interest - S03E07 - Close Ups

[salty-qt]